Candeh15
@Candeh15
15 Years1,000+ PostsVirgo
Comments: 5 · Posts: 4244 · Topics: 258
Why are you single?
In my mind it's an offensive question. My answer might be to ask them the same question right back.
i've been asked the same question over and over again by some people. i'm telling them because i'm still enjoying my being single. i was married for seven years with an arab man (and i'm a filipina) here in the mid-east. we got divorced more than a year ago. when i was married, i have to let him know every thing like if i am going out with my friends, i have to let him know which friend am i going with and to where, what time i'll be back home. and yeah, clothes! he will tell me what to wear and what not to wear, and even my hair style . he wants my hair short. and now that i'm single, i can do any thing i want. i can go out and go back home anytime i want. i can go out with whoever i want to. i can wear what clothes i want, i can grow my hair longer. 😄
Well I was dumped so thats why I am single lol
and if u r married and no kids yet, some nosey people will ask u "why haven't u have any kids yet? is there something wrong?"
How the fuck is that rude?
That whole "Why are you single" crap is a trick question!
If you claim that it's everybody else's fault why you're still single or even so much as think about bashing an ex or past dates, the person listening is ready to pounce on you & assume that you're in denial (i.e. it's YOU, not them).
But yet if you respond to that question with positivity & w/o a long-winded answer that doesn't involve bashing anyone OR if you come off as being the type that seems perfectly content with the single life, the people listening to your answer are just as suspicious.
It's a lose/lose!
When I was single & got asked that question, I was honest. I said, "The 1st part of me being single was b/c I didn't have all my shxt together. The rest of the equation was that unsurprisingly, every frog I met once I had my shxt together didn't necessarily all turn out to be princes." And I felt that this was a fair answer. I took responsibility for myself & realized that I was the common denominator in all my "failed attempts" at relationships, BUT yet I didn't feel any shame in admitting that no, every guy whose approached me in life was NOT right for me.
If you claim that it's everybody else's fault why you're still single or even so much as think about bashing an ex or past dates, the person listening is ready to pounce on you & assume that you're in denial (i.e. it's YOU, not them).
But yet if you respond to that question with positivity & w/o a long-winded answer that doesn't involve bashing anyone OR if you come off as being the type that seems perfectly content with the single life, the people listening to your answer are just as suspicious.
It's a lose/lose!
When I was single & got asked that question, I was honest. I said, "The 1st part of me being single was b/c I didn't have all my shxt together. The rest of the equation was that unsurprisingly, every frog I met once I had my shxt together didn't necessarily all turn out to be princes." And I felt that this was a fair answer. I took responsibility for myself & realized that I was the common denominator in all my "failed attempts" at relationships, BUT yet I didn't feel any shame in admitting that no, every guy whose approached me in life was NOT right for me.
If you say:
1. "I'm still single b/c I haven't found the right person yet" people are ready to doubt you & assume that YOU were probably moreso than the problem than others that tried dating you.
2. "I'm still single b/c I don't like settling" people are ready to doubt you once again b/c they figure that your chances of meeting the RIGHT one are just as high as your chances for attracting/meeting all the WRONG ones are.
3. "I'm single b/c I messed up alot or had alot of insecurities/issues," people get turned off, almost as if they're offended that you were actually brutally honest.
On 1 hand, people ask this question b/c they want to put you on the spot & expect complete honesty. But yet, this question is a trick question. There's really no right/wrong way to answer this question if you're being honest. Chances are, regardless of how you answer this question, someone will be suspicious, get turned off, doubt your answer or use your answer as a means to say the infamous line, "If you're such a good catch, then why are you still single?"
I don't think asking that question is appropriate, nor will it most likely bring out the truth. If you really want to know why someone is single, date them! If you're turned off by the 2nd date, you'll have your answer! If when they start venting about their past relationships & yet tend to blaim all relationship failures on everyone BUT themselves, there's your answer! If they're already wearing all their insecurities/flaws/issues on their sleeves 15 minutes into the 1st date, there's your answer!
1. "I'm still single b/c I haven't found the right person yet" people are ready to doubt you & assume that YOU were probably moreso than the problem than others that tried dating you.
2. "I'm still single b/c I don't like settling" people are ready to doubt you once again b/c they figure that your chances of meeting the RIGHT one are just as high as your chances for attracting/meeting all the WRONG ones are.
3. "I'm single b/c I messed up alot or had alot of insecurities/issues," people get turned off, almost as if they're offended that you were actually brutally honest.
On 1 hand, people ask this question b/c they want to put you on the spot & expect complete honesty. But yet, this question is a trick question. There's really no right/wrong way to answer this question if you're being honest. Chances are, regardless of how you answer this question, someone will be suspicious, get turned off, doubt your answer or use your answer as a means to say the infamous line, "If you're such a good catch, then why are you still single?"
I don't think asking that question is appropriate, nor will it most likely bring out the truth. If you really want to know why someone is single, date them! If you're turned off by the 2nd date, you'll have your answer! If when they start venting about their past relationships & yet tend to blaim all relationship failures on everyone BUT themselves, there's your answer! If they're already wearing all their insecurities/flaws/issues on their sleeves 15 minutes into the 1st date, there's your answer!
it also can be simple maybe they choose 2 lol.
I wouldnt be insulted by the question. If someone said "I can see why your still single" that would be an insult, but whenever people ask me why I am single I answer the truth which right now is: Because I want to be, im doing me, and I have no time for a serious relationship. Would take someone amazing to get me to settle down right now!
Posted by ianthepisces
You all are some sensitives.. maybe he just meant, hey you are a kick ass chick why hasnt some guy put a spell on you...
lol I really wasn't that upset, I just don't know how to answer the question half the time. I just zone out when put on the spot. It's just like, "Is there something specific you want to hear?" I usually just say, "Some things didn't work out, but I'm good." And like someone mentioned, I just ask the question back. The guy who I mentioned who asked me the other night, I thought was pretty sweet actually, but others don't come off as sweet as he does.
Posted by ianthepisces
Plus you are only 20 so you are still as fresh as ever..
Lol, now I sound like fruit.
Posted by Candeh15Posted by ianthepisces
Plus you are only 20 so you are still as fresh as ever..
Lol, now I sound like fruit.click to expand
lmfao.
Posted by ianthepiscesPosted by Candeh15Posted by ianthepisces
Plus you are only 20 so you are still as fresh as ever..
Lol, now I sound like fruit.
Meat, fruit.. its all good as long as its not spoiled..click to expand
I keep myself in the best conditions at all times.
Yeah i get asked that a lot too. 27, no kids, gorgeous, ambitious.. why are you SINGLE? I just say 'because I have high standards' or 'because I have shitty taste in men'.
Posted by QLIbraMale
I say because i was cheated on. lol nothing wrong being single
lol ten points lmao.
@Candeh: Next time someone asks this question, ask them the SAME question in return. I'm assuming only SINGLE men (not married or taken) would be hitting on you as a SINGLE woman, so ask him the same question. I'm sure that he probably figures he's a good catch TOO so if you're "suspicious" for being single, then he oughta look just as suspicious too.
There's no such thing as "too good to be true" when you're single. Not everybody needs a relationship. Some people are single by choice. Even better, there ARE actually a few people left that REFUSE to settle. And in this case, you being such a good catch & single should arouse MORE interest in you, not loss.
There's no such thing as "too good to be true" when you're single. Not everybody needs a relationship. Some people are single by choice. Even better, there ARE actually a few people left that REFUSE to settle. And in this case, you being such a good catch & single should arouse MORE interest in you, not loss.
One must know how to get the people to shut the fuck up and move on
question are you still single? WHY!
#1 Got my balls blowen off during the war
#2 There was a woman once her husband caught us fucking he pulled his gun, shot, missed me put the bullit right between her eyes.
#3 All my brothers childern are gay.
#4 I would marry but that would really piss the goat off.
#5 My sister is already marred.
question are you still single? WHY!
#1 Got my balls blowen off during the war
#2 There was a woman once her husband caught us fucking he pulled his gun, shot, missed me put the bullit right between her eyes.
#3 All my brothers childern are gay.
#4 I would marry but that would really piss the goat off.
#5 My sister is already marred.
What the hell?
A guy thinks you're hot and amazing and so makes the reference that your lovely should have been scooped up by now .... and you think it's rude? An insult?
What is the insult is that he just paid a compliment and it wasnt' good enough .... maybe you thinking it wasn't good enough is why you are still single.
A guy thinks you're hot and amazing and so makes the reference that your lovely should have been scooped up by now .... and you think it's rude? An insult?
What is the insult is that he just paid a compliment and it wasnt' good enough .... maybe you thinking it wasn't good enough is why you are still single.
And when I say "you" I mean all the women in here who thought it rude or and insult.
Another answer
I once saw the RAT nude.
I once saw the RAT nude.
Posted by P-Angel
What the hell?
A guy thinks you're hot and amazing and so makes the reference that your lovely should have been scooped up by now .... and you think it's rude? An insult?
What is the insult is that he just paid a compliment and it wasnt' good enough .... maybe you thinking it wasn't good enough is why you are still single.
Not rude per se (well at least I don't think it's rude depending on the previous conversation). I just don't know how to respond. It's like, "Thanks for saying I'm a catch, but what do you want me to say?" I'm asking how to respond to the question because I'm asked that a lot actually. Any suggestions?
I guess the only thing that irritates me slightly is that I don't think it really needs to be asked. I'm obviously single. I'm talking to you. We seem to be hitting it off. Why don't we just go on a date and we'll see if I'm still single afterwards.
You've said yourself that everytime you have a guy, or maybe not have, but, are with a guy you like ... you immediately put him in line with all other men to see how he compares (obviously, not verbatim) .. but, that is the gist.
And that isn't normal ... so why is it so far fetched that someone asks you this question?
Is it really that bad of a question .. or is it just because you are aware that you are too critical of judger?
And that isn't normal ... so why is it so far fetched that someone asks you this question?
Is it really that bad of a question .. or is it just because you are aware that you are too critical of judger?
So, tell him the truth .... Virgo
Tell him that a man hasn't been able to meet your standards yet, because of being so picky.
You'd be surprised at how a person handles the truth vs. being a pacifist, and telling them a lie to suit their ego.
You know why most relationships fail?
Because people tell the potential partners lies, in order to make a good impression ... well, to make a good impression means, you've neglected to tell them your other side, the one you are hiding .. the one they eventually find out and bounce.
And you want to know why they bounced on you?
Because you lied from jump, by trying to make a good impression ONLY, when people are actually just as much bad as they are good.
So, why are you single?
You know why most relationships fail?
Because people tell the potential partners lies, in order to make a good impression ... well, to make a good impression means, you've neglected to tell them your other side, the one you are hiding .. the one they eventually find out and bounce.
And you want to know why they bounced on you?
Because you lied from jump, by trying to make a good impression ONLY, when people are actually just as much bad as they are good.
So, why are you single?
I think its quite flattering. Obviously they think I'm good enough to be with someone special. My response would be "As far as you know I'm single. Quit consulting facebook" 😛
Posted by P-Angel
You'd be surprised at how a person handles the truth vs. being a pacifist, and telling them a lie to suit their ego.
You know why most relationships fail?
Because people tell the potential partners lies, in order to make a good impression ... well, to make a good impression means, you've neglected to tell them your other side, the one you are hiding .. the one they eventually find out and bounce.
And you want to know why they bounced on you?
Because you lied from jump, by trying to make a good impression ONLY, when people are actually just as much bad as they are good.
So, why are you single?
Hmmm good points. If you're asking me now why I'm single, well I'll take your advice and seek the truth:
I have high standards but I've been too accommodating. At this point, I'm really beginning to see my mistakes and my choices and working on changing them. As of right now, I honestly haven't been interested in looking.
Posted by P-Angel
Is it really that bad of a question .. or is it just because you are aware that you are too critical of judger?
And no, it's really not that bad. I just feel awkward when I have to reveal so much of myself at the start, especially about the past. I've never been too interested in asking a potential about why he was single; like, I felt it was sort of invasive just to inquire so much for the first time. So when it's done to me, I'm just thrown for a loop. But if it's to all understand and digest what one is getting into, then I should be allowed to ask the guy why he's single too, right?
It doesn't have to be complicated.
Just say, "thank you", and keep it moving.
Just say, "thank you", and keep it moving.
This question always felt like a compliment to me.
I like this answer
I have high standards but I've been too accommodating. At this point, I'm really beginning to see my mistakes and my choices and working on changing them. As of right now, I honestly haven't been interested in looking.
I have high standards but I've been too accommodating. At this point, I'm really beginning to see my mistakes and my choices and working on changing them. As of right now, I honestly haven't been interested in looking.
It's not about what someone says, it's HOW they say it. It's about their body language when they ask you. It's ok for someone to ask such a question, BUT when they're eyes get low & their posture suggests that they're most likely to judge you for whatever answer you give, it THEN can become an insult. The question itself is not that big of a deal. It's the fact that some of the people asking it purposely make it a trick question. And no one likes to be put on the spot or answer a question that if answered truthfully or not, they'll be criticized or met with suspicious eyes.
Posted by janettam
i cant stand all the little sluts running around in america.
That's funny .... most Americans say US, though
Batuk .... you don't have to date any person, and it's ok if you don't. In fact, it's probably better to wait a long time before dating, so long as you watch people who do and pay attention to their concerns.
There's nothing wrong with flying solo while you make your life happen.
There's nothing wrong with flying solo while you make your life happen.
Posted by ianthepisces
"I'm obviously single. I'm talking to you. We seem to be hitting it off. Why don't we just go on a date and we'll see if I'm still single afterwards."
i think you just found out how to respond...
I tend to do that to myself, a lot. Spit out an answer without really paying attention.
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