Does Anyone Here...

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by Whimsy on Monday, March 14, 2011 and has 9 replies.

Profile picture of Whimsy
@Whimsy
15 Years1,000+ Posts

...have a successful relationship with someone you slept with right away?

By successful I mean: (1) you're with them now and (2) there's a wedding ring or an investment of many years.

OR

Does anyone here have a successful relationship with someone with whom you WAITED to have sex after a series of unsuccessful relationships in which you jumped in the sack right away?

Profile picture of libra sun
@libra sun
16 Years1,000+ PostsLibra

I had a relationship with a guy I slept with straight away, I wouldnt call it exactly successful though. We were together 2 years but mostly that was to make me feel like less of a slut! Thats the first (and only!) time I have a had a proper one night stand and stayed with him to try and ease my guilt and disappointment in myself! He was crazy about me and didnt lose respect for me for sleeping with him straight away but the relationship would never have worked regardless as we were not right for eachother, the only benefit of waiting would have been that after getting to know him I would never have slept with him and my magic number would be one less! lol

I think it all just depends at what stage in life the girl and the guy are both at. If one is not looking for a relationship then making them wait wont change their mind, neither will jumping into bed with them.

Profile picture of Whimsy
@Whimsy
15 Years1,000+ Posts

I guess I should add to the conversation, since I started it! I've had 5 relationships I would call "major".

I waited a little while with #1. He was my first and I didn't know what to do, anyway! It lasted 4 years, but wasn't a very good relationship. He asked me to marry him and I said no.

Slept with #2, #3, #4 right away. Those didn't work out.

#5 is my husband. We were friends for about a year before we decided to date. We waited 3 months, after making our relationship official, to have sex. I knew I wanted to wait, but he was actually the one who brought it up that we should. He was very serious about the relationship and didn't want to risk messing it up.

Profile picture of Skykomish
@Skykomish
15 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Am I the only person on the planet that sees what they want and just goes and gets it? I don't really have this 'friend for a year' before dating thing.. except once, with a relationship that was really just a friendship. That was majorly screwed up.

Profile picture of Whimsy
@Whimsy
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Well, he was young when we met, but far from innocent. He started having sexual relationships at 12, and had already had two LTRs (including one fiance) before we met. It's hard to explain, but he's old inside. He's a Scorpio sun and moon with a Gem rising. 5 planets in Scorpio, actually. He waited a year to ask me out because I was seeing someone else.

Profile picture of krysrenee7
@krysrenee7
18 Years5,000+ Posts

I do! I do!

My husband and I have been married for 11 yrs now. And happily married, I might add =)

We had sex on our 3rd date. Now looking back, I'm lucky to be able to say that yes I'm STILL with the same guy, even though back then, I was terrified that me giving it up "too soon" might've ruined things or turned him off.

We talked about this the other day. Sex early on didn't mess things up b/w us b/c we didn't want it to mess it up. He had his mindset by the 2nd date that I was someone worth spending a lifetime with. In this case, a man with this mindset about you early on would consider himself FOOLISH if he walked away vs. stayed even though you gave it up early.

I think men can tell when you give it up (early) b/c you're really feeling the chemistry b/w the 2 of you VS. when a woman gives it up too early b/c she's used to doing the same thing with lots of other guys too.

Profile picture of ninjamu
@ninjamu
17 Years1,000+ PostsLeo

Posted by Whimsy
...have a successful relationship with someone you slept with right away?

By successful I mean: (1) you're with them now and (2) there's a wedding ring or an investment of many years.

OR

Does anyone here have a successful relationship with someone with whom you WAITED to have sex after a series of unsuccessful relationships in which you jumped in the sack right away?

I don't think most people who posted here fully understood your question.

No. I am not in a successful relationship with someone that I slept with right away. My choice. Otherwise it would have been still going on.

I am currently in a successful relationship with someone whom I waited to have sex with. I didn't wait on purpose, though. I would have, and could have, had sex with him the second time I ever hung out with him but I was trying to stay professional (we work in the same industry) and I was seeing the guy that I didn't have the successful relationship with.