Does this Sag guy like me or not? (Page 2)

I hope it goes well for you

Posted by rebecca83
while I was waiting for my friend, HE came to my car and started chatting... and then he said "I'll come by this Saturday, but I'll call you first."

Hey chick, sorry to be a kill joy but are you sure he didn't say 'but I'll call you first' because he was making a point and making a play on words? Sags do that sometimes. Especially being a Sag man he 'may' have thought you had come to his neighbourhood without warning even though you were there to pick you friend up(?) Sagi men especially are really funny (from my experience) about people (women) being in their vicinity without prior notice.

I really hope he does come cause he'll be a douche not to. Sag and Aries work really well together.

Wear something fun, it's not very hard atal to turn on a Sag man (well any man for that matter) 😉

Let us know how it goes, I shall be following this thread 🙂

Good luck!

Posted by Chillgirl9001
Looks like I should have posted this on the Cap forum. I'm such an idiot! All thudding his bday was 12/22 which makes him a Cap. Damn it I wanted him to be a Sag!! What a waste of time! That explains why he's a douch!!

lmao! HA HA

Posted by Chillgirl9001
I should he told him to put out or get out! Lol

From my experience Cappy guys are slow movers and take their sweet time (if they really like you). This is what your Cap (not a Sag, lol) seems to be doing 🙂

Hey SagChick, it was a nice surprise seeing your reply. And yeah, I agree he might have been making a play of words or playing some sort of other game - I KNOW Sags do that, but often they're FUN games. And I'm trying to remain positive about this, but deep down I'm sort of afraid he might have decided to approach me again after all that silence because he was hanging out with his pals and you know how men act differently when they're in a pack... Also, he'd claimed that the situation in his family was preventing him from enjoying anything at all - which included women, the way he put it - but he certainly looked like he was enjoying himself with his friends, and then when I passed by them they must have noticed I was a good looking chick.. and you know how these things work. So yeah, I hope he does show up tomorrow - especially since I had to cancel other plans! And I dearly hope we end up getting somewhat physical, but most importantly, that sleeping with him won't be like the reverse of a fairy-tale kiss and turn my (so far) perfect gentleman into a total jerk/douche...
I'm nervous, definitely, but I'll see what tomorrow brings and take it from there. And then, if he doesn't try anything physical - hugs, touches, etc - I'll probably take the lead. At least I'll know where I stand...

'the reverse of a fairy-tale kiss and turn my (so far) perfect gentleman into a total jerk/douche...'

HAHAHAH!

Maybe he's just scurred! HA! Or he maybe frigid? (not kidding) I think that sometimes when Sagi guys (in my experience) like someone ALOT they try and put off seeing them or getting physical to begin with cause their feelings get so strong. This could be the famous love-u-loads-to-begin-with then back off kinda thing.

Maybe he is lying to himself about how much he really likes you. I read your other posts about him and it seems he does like you otherwise I don't think he would help you out. I definitely think something could develop here but he needs to let himself go a bit. I guess hanging with the 'boys' is easier for him than to be alone with you hence why he is/has been putting it off.

Anyway just go with the flow but next time I don't think you should cancel your plans incase he may come over. If he doesn't end up coming then you would have built up expectations only for them to be broken which would suck (I've been there) and it feels horrible.

He better turn up if he knows whats good for him, HA! 🙂

Well, he called to say he couldn't come as something urgent had come up with his car. I do believe him, but boy am I disappointed...
Also, he wanted to reschedule the whole thing for a weekday afternoon, which was one more bad sign, as weekday afternoon definitely doesn't spell sex to me. So after a 5 minutes hesitation I called him back and told him I had hoped he would come for more than just the practical aspect of helping me... and his reply was that we'd have to talk about that some other time. Which, to me, is just... blah. He's avoiding it at all cost and whatever his issues, I don't want to get involved in them.

The bright side is that, yeah, the more I see of him, the more I believe he actually likes me. Probably a lot. Yesterday evening, just as I was leaving the swimming pool to head home (and contemplating the prospect of a loooong walk), I ran into him and he was driving. I acted on an impulse and asked him if he could give me a ride home. Not only did he agree without the slightest sign of hesitation (even though he was at the end of a long work day), he didn't even wait for me to finish the question. I was like, hey, any chance you might be heading...? And he was suddenly all smiles and yeah, sure, hop in. 😄

But now that the cards are on the table, I've no idea what comes next. Of all the games society expects a girl to play, the hard-to-get game and the waiting game are the ones I find most stupid and useless and frustrating and I JUST CAN'T DO them. And I've scared men off before by being too upfront about what I wanted, but hell, whatever happened to "just be yourself"? "Myself" has several men to chose among, and if this one guy is actually putting up a fight I'm probably better off without him...

Thanks for the advice, anyway. If there's any good news on this guy, I'll update.

Update on my Sag: his sister died. I didn't learn that from him, though. I didn't go to the funeral either, thinking it might have felt like I was trying to push my way into his life ... There has been no communication whatsoever, no sign from him or from me. At the moment I'm also very, very busy, weekends included, so much as I crave talking to him, it's not going to happen over the next two weeks. Anyways, what I'm planning to do is wait until at least one month has lapsed since the funeral, then call him just to see how he's doing. Seems pretty legit to me since I was the one who snapped at him the last time we talked. But... I'm worried one month might be too much. Like he'd think I definitely don't give a damn (there were roughly two weeks between when we last talked and when his sister died, which would be added to the one month after the funeral...). And that might hurt his ego (or simply hurt him). On the other hand, if I do call him too early I might come across as insensitive. Besides, I have this scenario in my mind where I call him and say, hey, how have you been doing, you know, I've been thinking about you but there's no way I can see you now, waaay too busy, talk later... What would that give? Would it make things worse or actually help by showing I do care, but I'm not exactly tripping over myself to "be" with him?
The Aries in me is growing both impatient and bored...

I've been following this thread and just wanted to offer a perspective no one seems to be addressing. I don't know if you moved on from him, or whatever.. but.. Have you ever lost someone you love dearly, way too young. You've had (have) a crush on a man that is watching his sister die, and now has died.. If you truly cared for this person,even as a friend you would have called immediately after learning he suffered such a deep, painful loss. Just to let him know if he needs anything at all you're there for him.

This man has been watching his sister die a slow painful death and you're calling him a "douche" because his feelings are hot and cold towards you?

Maybe it's possible he did like you, maybe even a lot, maybe right up to the point he told you what he was going through and you were more concerned with whether or not he liked you or was attracted to you.

you said-

"Besides, I have this scenario in my mind where I call him and say, hey, how have you been doing, you know, I've been thinking about you but there's no way I can see you now, way too busy, talk later... What would that give?"

That would give me the impression that you're a heartless, selfish, narcissistic, b*tch.
You think this man will ever believe you love him or want to love him when you didn't even bother to call when his sister died...

You think a month is long enough to wait after such a traumatic event and try to play the dating GAME?

I'm betting calling him then explaining that you're "too busy" for his feelings will really capture his heart.

I'm reading this thread and I'm crying about how much pain this man has gone through, and is going through.. I know that pain, unfortunately.

Relationships with any sign are about being selfless and compassionate, loving, sacrificing, and being a soft place for a person to land when they are at their worst.

You seriously debated with yourself over going to a FUNERAL to pay respects to a person who lost their life because you didn't want it to seem like you were chasing her bro?

Hate to break it to you, I'm pretty sure the last thing this man was gonna give a fuck about on the day he buried his SISTER is what your motives were for being there. Whether or not he likes you, or anything else other than the fact that his sister is dead.
I know there are lots of people like you in the world. I take great pleasure in letting you know you have a lot to learn about life & love and don't deserve a real relation

Advice is like assholes, everyone has one.. My advice to you would be to call him and explain that you honestly didn;t know how to deal with what he was going through, or how to be there for him as a friend or otherwise. Tell him you've had a crush on him for a long time and then thank him for not dragging you into his emotional hell. Maybe ask him if he intentionally kept you at an arms length because he wanted to spare you the nightmare he was going through (and still is) then tell him no matter what his feelings are for you that you want to be there for him if he ever needs to talk, yell, scream, cry or just laugh... Then apologize for not understanding what he's going through and for not being a better friend.

No normal human being would want to start a relationship and drag another human being into what he was/is experiencing.

Unfortunately all of us will eventually lose someone we love and experience the trauma of it.. The most loving thing a person going through that does is not drag other people through it if they can help it.

Do you think it was erectile dysfunction? Maybe a 3rd option is better: 3) didn't want to use some girl for sex to cover up his pain. Or maybe a fourth: 4) holding back how you feel about someone because you're not able show them who you are at your best and he liked you enough not to want you to experience him at his worst.

There were people I barely knew that were there for me, even some complete strangers.. I will love them forever for that. My "friends" that couldn't be bothered to offer their love and support are no longer in my life.

I could be wrong, though. Maybe he is just a game playing dick that can't get it up and has so much ego or insecurities that he can't take a hint when a hot girl likes him.

I'd bet everything I have it was something more like feeling guilty doing anything that brings pleasure because he felt so incredibly guilty that he gets to experience joy while someone he loves is suffering a slow painful death.

Hey, musicistheanswer, thank you for the feedback. And let me tell you that I absolutely love your name, seeing how I know how much music can enrich a person's life 🙂
Before I reply to your advice - which, again, is more than welcome - allow me to say sorry about your loss. You're right, I can't imagine what it must be like to go through something like that, and I pray I'll never have to know.
Moving on to what you said. I realize a discussion board is by no means the best place to bare one's heart and let other people know you intimately and explain what drives you and what moves you and what doesn't. I found it somewhat presumptuous to be called someone who doesn't deserve a real relationship, but it's understandable seeing how you don't know me and are only judging based on what I wrote here.
As far as calling names is concerned, I don't recall ever calling him anything disrespectful - and quite certainly not to his face! What I do recall is telling him, over and over again, even before his sister died, that I was there for him and all he had to do was ask, and I was more than willing to provide whatever help I could. He NEVER asked. On the few occasions when I offered practical help such as taking him out for a bite - after he'd admitted he hadn't eaten anything all day - he turned me down with what I felt were sincere apologies. So yeah, I chose to keep my distance because for people like me it's very easy to cross the line into being TOO much there for someone and becoming a nuisance, rather than a form of support.
As for his behaviour... he ran into me a couple of weeks after his sister's funeral and actually stopped the car to talk to me, even though I hadn't even noticed him. He was the one to apologize for having cancelled that last meeting and the only thing I told him was don't worry, just.. I'm sorry for your loss... please be safe. He really looked like a wreck and even if I had been mad at him - which I wasn't, anyway - I wouldn't have said anything mean.
Some two weeks after that brief conversation I tried calling him to see how he was doing, but he didn't pick up. Nor did he call back. Nor did he pick up when I called again the following day. So that was that for me, I decided not to push this any further, at least not now.
As it happens, I'm pretty much into psychology and I have seriously considered him suffering from some sort of survivor guilt - which is something that I know I can't help with, much as I'd like to.(to be conti

And yes, I had considered the option of him maybe liking me too much. I didn't choose to share it here because in my non-virtual life I'm often reprimanded for my lack of modesty and accused of being TOO proud of myself ... I dared not come here, among people who don't really know me, and proclaim: I'm sure this guy has the hots for me, he just doesn't know what to do about it. ESPECIALLY given his more than painful situation...
BUT. I've been burnt in the past with good looking guys acting all head-over-heels into me (I didn't say in love, mind you), only to go AWOL after we had slept together. It ain't exactly the most wonderful experience in the world, and I've decided to tread lightly. And this guy IS good looking and wouldn't have trouble finding a sex partner if a sex partner was all he wanted. Now it's my turn to sound presumptuous and say I believe I could make his life so much better by being that someone he can talk to, the shoulder to cry on, the one to hold his hands when he needs someone to. But I don't want to - I can't - force myself into his life. And yeah, I felt that by showing up at the funeral without him asking me to - I would have come across - to others or maybe even to him - as trying to force myself into his life.
Anyway. It's been over a month since that last attempt to get in touch with him. Which was, believe it or not, not an attempt to lure him back into the dating world. I am - I was - merely trying to get to know him a little, so as to establish whether my assumptions - that we can enrich each other's lives - are somewhat correct or plain wishful thinking...
To conclude, I'm going to have to agree with you on the whole having a lot to learn about life and love. That's actually what I'm trying to do with my life. Living it and learning as much as possible. From other people, from my own mistakes, from things big and small. This guy has already been part of the learning experience for me. I'd like him to be present in my future life too, but that is not up to me anymore 🙂

sorry.. this time I didn't read all the other comments before commenting, but I think guys have feelings too and we should stop being so doubtful about them. Having said that ... my first clue was he is sexually attracted to you, but then again.. that's not such bad thing. I think he is also interested in you.

I believe Sag guys are a bit shy... perhaps the 'shyness' comes from the commitment phobia and runners foot syndrome, however, if you give it enough time... I think you would make up a great match. He has found you.