DMV
@DMV
15 Years25,000+ PostsSagittarius
Comments: 294 · Posts: 28989 · Topics: 654
Having a Baby Alone
Posted by DMV
Would you do it knowingly?
I wanna have some kids but just getting preggo by any ol guy aint gonna cut it. Im picky with who I choose to procreate with. However, I have been giving some thought of just picking some sperm out or something. Talked to my mom and shes actually down for it.
When I say alone, I mean no financial, emotional, or any kind of support from the father.
I could do that ^^^ much easier than having a child with a boyfriend or acquaintance.. All (ie committed husband) or nothing (ie anonymous sperm donor), for me personally.
Though I've actually thought about donating my eggs and having some set aside and frozen for me, in case i decide to have kids myself later on.
When you say "picking out sperm" do you mean going to a sperm bank? And please realize that your child may want a father in its life.
Posted by Tornadoday16
When you say "picking out sperm" do you mean going to a sperm bank? And please realize that your child may want a father in its life.
I mean just that going to the bank like its walmart.
your right, I preach alot about fatherless kids and I wasnt one but I really want to have a baby before I leave this world.
Posted by AndalusiaPosted by DMV
Would you do it knowingly?
I wanna have some kids but just getting preggo by any ol guy aint gonna cut it. Im picky with who I choose to procreate with. However, I have been giving some thought of just picking some sperm out or something. Talked to my mom and shes actually down for it.
When I say alone, I mean no financial, emotional, or any kind of support from the father.
I could do that ^^^ much easier than having a child with a boyfriend or acquaintance.. All (ie committed husband) or nothing (ie anonymous sperm donor), for me personally.
Though I've actually thought about donating my eggs and having some set aside and frozen for me, in case i decide to have kids myself later on.click to expand
I wonder how much that would cost
Well, you get paid for donating your eggs.. Upwards of several thousand dollars, depending on your genes and other couples criteria. But also because it's pretty intrusive and painful (lot of hormone shots, doctors visits, etc).. So I imagine if you got paid enough, you could just use some of that money towards the "freeze my eggs" fund.
Posted by Andalusia
Well, you get paid for donating your eggs.. Upwards of several thousand dollars, depending on your genes and other couples criteria. But also because it's pretty intrusive and painful (lot of hormone shots, doctors visits, etc).. So I imagine if you got paid enough, you could just use some of that money towards the "freeze my eggs" fund.
Now that I think about it. I was interested in selling my eggs but I was denied lmao.
@DMV
Instead of going to the sperm bank like its Walmart you should find a nice, hard working guy and make his day. I'm not saying do it with anybody, but don't be too shallow either. You want to procreate life, so be kind to life. Life doesn't always look like Johnny Depp.
Instead of going to the sperm bank like its Walmart you should find a nice, hard working guy and make his day. I'm not saying do it with anybody, but don't be too shallow either. You want to procreate life, so be kind to life. Life doesn't always look like Johnny Depp.
Posted by Tornadoday16
@DMV
Instead of going to the sperm bank like its Walmart you should find a nice, hard working guy and make his day. I'm not saying do it with anybody, but don't be too shallow either. You want to procreate life, so be kind to life. Life doesn't always look like Johnny Depp.
No offense, You sound like my grandma.lol. I get you but do you get where im coming from? Ive been around the block, 2x, i just dont like the pickins.
Idk im a bit scared it wont happen under my terms, 32 unmarried, 1 long term tumultuous relationship, I dont have alot of relationship experience..... Dont get me wrong, I can go out n get pregnant right now, but the baby daddy title doesnt sit well with me.
ive been told by some guys that im not appealing because I dont already have a kid or been married. I know im the bees knees. But im automatically looked at with a side eye. The same exact side eye I give men with no kids. Lol
ive been told by some guys that im not appealing because I dont already have a kid or been married. I know im the bees knees. But im automatically looked at with a side eye. The same exact side eye I give men with no kids. Lol
Posted by AesmaPosted by Tornadoday16
@DMV
Instead of going to the sperm bank like its Walmart you should find a nice, hard working guy and make his day. I'm not saying do it with anybody, but don't be too shallow either. You want to procreate life, so be kind to life. Life doesn't always look like Johnny Depp.
There's pros and cons to both.
The good thing about DMV personally picking a 'nice' guy is she can actually assess personality traits as well in real time and other mental issues. The drawback is, she might dismiss the actual genetic flaws that they might pass on to their baby. It can be overlooked because she loves the guy.
Whereas, if she went to a sperm bank, the genetic flaws can be minimal aside from picking the looks and general traits. The problem with this is, the personality aspect can give the element of surprise.
I personally don't want kids because I have genetic flaws that I don't want my kid to suffer from as well.click to expand
damn, I didnt even think bout that
Posted by aqulibiniPosted by DMVPosted by Tornadoday16
When you say "picking out sperm" do you mean going to a sperm bank? And please realize that your child may want a father in its life.
I mean just that going to the bank like its walmart.
your right, I preach alot about fatherless kids and I wasnt one but I really want to have a baby before I leave this world.
why not adopt a baby then.
and before just picking on anything don't u want consider the medical history of the donor..i mean there are heritable diseases..why put a new at risk..click to expand
I would adopt but I wanna go through the whole shebang.
Posted by ImpulsvPosted by DMV
Idk im a bit scared it wont happen under my terms, 32 unmarried, 1 long term tumultuous relationship, I dont have alot of relationship experience..... Dont get me wrong, I can go out n get pregnant right now, but the baby daddy title doesnt sit well with me.
ive been told by some guys that im not appealing because I dont already have a kid or been married. I know im the bees knees. But im automatically looked at with a side eye. The same exact side eye I give men with no kids. Lol
Omg ur so young
I've never heard of men saying they won't be with someone at 32 who's never been married or doesn't have kids. That's crazy ur a catch!!!! What man what's to deal with exes.click to expand
Not me, thats fo sure.
Adoption can be a very long, drawn out, EXPENSIVE, process though as well.
@Aesma
You said "she might overlook the guys genetic flaws because she loves him". Personally, I think that would be a very good thing. Everyone has flaws, genetic or other wise. No one succeeds trying to minimize their flaws, people succeed when they see something good in themselves and others. In my opinion, and I am a Leo Moon so I see my opinion as being worth a lot, the one good thing about you that can contribute to a successful person is worth procreating for. Fucking ignore all the bad.
You said "she might overlook the guys genetic flaws because she loves him". Personally, I think that would be a very good thing. Everyone has flaws, genetic or other wise. No one succeeds trying to minimize their flaws, people succeed when they see something good in themselves and others. In my opinion, and I am a Leo Moon so I see my opinion as being worth a lot, the one good thing about you that can contribute to a successful person is worth procreating for. Fucking ignore all the bad.
@aquavita
Who is Rumi?
Who is Rumi?
Do u have family who can help look after the baby?
Posted by arietteheart2
I might have an unpopular opinion but 32 is not young when it comes to conceiving and having children. Your fertility starts declining (not a lot, but still declining) at 27. You can still conceive, it just may take longer. I'm sure there are many women that conceive in their 30s and probably a few in their 40s but the older ones probably have help from fertility drugs.
I think right now (32) is a good age to start thinking about having children. I know in today's society it's smarter to hold off to have children until you're financially stable and I would never argue against that but the reality is that our bodies and fertility were not designed to wait until we're well into our 30s.
Do what is right for you.
yes! i know from my family history my mother had a few miscarriages before i was conceived. She was in her 30s.
Nope. Don't want one with somebody either.
Posted by starlover
Nooooo i would not do this lady!! I gave birth to a baby boy who never slept through the night till he was 11yrs old!! He had health probs, eating probs and was very very challenging. Without his dad, i would have gone crazy
I would take the advice of the gent above and find a good *daddy material* man...but think hard and long before going solo with this
Dmv, I totally thought this question was just an as "if" question, wow I didn't realize it was about you! Hmm thats a huge decision! Have you had a dog or cat or some sort of pet for a while first?
I know that sounds dumb, but might be a place to start. And I got to agree with starlover on this. Me personally, I don't want children. But if I did, I sure as fuck wouldn't do that alone!! Thats like rest of your life's work.
I mean bravo to women who can do that but I don't know man, with the world today and money and all that shit. I don't know. Real think about that n make sure it's for the right reasons.
Cause thats pretty heavy.
i hear you Sag89. I know there are positive and negatives to doing it alone and not doing it alone.
But i struggle with waiting if i know i can manage by myself. I mean i see it everyday. women who have kids without the typical family structure, but they managed. so why cant i manage? Im in a better place financially than them.
But i struggle with waiting if i know i can manage by myself. I mean i see it everyday. women who have kids without the typical family structure, but they managed. so why cant i manage? Im in a better place financially than them.
Posted by DMV
i hear you Sag89. I know there are positive and negatives to doing it alone and not doing it alone.
But i struggle with waiting if i know i can manage by myself. I mean i see it everyday. women who have kids without the typical family structure, but they managed. so why cant i manage? Im in a better place financially than them.
Oh yea you do whatever you put your mind too. I guess it's just making sure down for the commitment of it for the rest of your life haha
Posted by size zero superhero
I wouldn't opt to do it that way, but that's just me. Frankly, I don't know if I ever want kids of my own. As much as I like them, the idea of putting in 9mos & painful labor is moderately terrifying as is having a miniature screamin' demon to tend to right after the physically-compromising & exhausting state of pregnancy.
LOL
Posted by size zero superhero
I'm also scared of the physical & hormonal damage toll that pregnancy & childbirth are capable of.
When my aunt explained what a uterine prolapse was, I had to actively stop myself from screaming aloud. Then he had the nerve to say that natural delivery can literally rip your taint, for those extra-unfortunate.
Worst lunchtime discussion topic EVER
Ha! No I agree man. Just the whole idea of something become human inside you. Or what if you bleed to death after birth. AH idk!
Anyway, It has many beautiful aspects as well I suppose.
Yes, I have considered it although I'm still young so it's not relevant at the moment.
I come from a single parent family, so I know what it's like to grow up without a father.
I think if you are strong and independent yourself, emotionally and financially stable,
the child wont miss having a father. It depends on the parent.
Studies have shown that children of single mothers who where artificially inseminated actually generally grow up to be more independent and stable, because they were "planned". The mothers were more mature (usually older and more sure of themselves) and ready to raise a child. They really wanted a child, so the children were "wish" babies (just google it if you are interested).
I'm not an artificially inseminated child, my father left when I was three, but I do agree with most of the above. I did wonder why he left and experienced some yearning when I was young, but I credit that to having known him before he left. I don't anymore and my mother is enough. I don't have room for anyone who doesn't want to participate in my life.
If the father is a donor I think it'll be different for the child. You weren't abandoned you were wanted. Boy's might need a father figure to look up too, but role models in form of friends and family can be just as good, I think.
Either way, donor child or not, being a child from a single parent family certainly hasn't deterred me from considering doing it myself, so it can't have been all that bad. It all comes down to the parent and perhaps culture, depending on where you live. I'm from Scandinavia and single parents are normal here. Means little...
All that matters is what you feel. You are the one who's going to raise it. Good luck whatever you decide 😉
I come from a single parent family, so I know what it's like to grow up without a father.
I think if you are strong and independent yourself, emotionally and financially stable,
the child wont miss having a father. It depends on the parent.
Studies have shown that children of single mothers who where artificially inseminated actually generally grow up to be more independent and stable, because they were "planned". The mothers were more mature (usually older and more sure of themselves) and ready to raise a child. They really wanted a child, so the children were "wish" babies (just google it if you are interested).
I'm not an artificially inseminated child, my father left when I was three, but I do agree with most of the above. I did wonder why he left and experienced some yearning when I was young, but I credit that to having known him before he left. I don't anymore and my mother is enough. I don't have room for anyone who doesn't want to participate in my life.
If the father is a donor I think it'll be different for the child. You weren't abandoned you were wanted. Boy's might need a father figure to look up too, but role models in form of friends and family can be just as good, I think.
Either way, donor child or not, being a child from a single parent family certainly hasn't deterred me from considering doing it myself, so it can't have been all that bad. It all comes down to the parent and perhaps culture, depending on where you live. I'm from Scandinavia and single parents are normal here. Means little...
All that matters is what you feel. You are the one who's going to raise it. Good luck whatever you decide 😉
I personally think "jerk off baby" is better than "accident"
Posted by aquavitaPosted by rainydayz
I personally think "jerk off baby" is better than "accident"
1.Accident babies were not discussed?
2.Having a "jerk off baby " is not a humane act.
3.Having an "accident baby" is actually quite a humane act as long : as you can raise child lovingly. If not: abortion is legal now : "accident" can be corrected.
4.There is no way to compare "jerk off baby" and "accident baby" as the first one involves a decision that can be avoided while the second one obviously lacks that option.
5.Not quite sure if you can follow me
6.It was a fun way to bring up a topic on "jerk off " babies.
7. "Accident" baby is a much more interesting and complex topic.click to expand
Sorry, but what's wrong with insemination? What makes you think it's not a humane act? Just curious.
Yes, there's definitely a difference between a conscious choice to have a baby and "Honey, I forgot to pull out" but the difference ends right there at conception, at least I think so.
After that kids are kids. I can't see what's sad about being a "jerk off baby"??
LOL wow...
I say do what you feel
My mom raise me on her own, i have a father, but he was a selfish asshole, and I had to learn that at a early age cause my mother didn't want me to hate her for not wanting that man in my life
But again, if the child one day asks about its father just be honest with them, and make sure they know they are loved no matter what
Single parents raise kids all the time without the other persons help for years, yes it may or may not be hard, it's based on your financial state
Who says you need a mother or a father to raise a child, as long as the guardian is able to provide, and teach, and love that child, who are we to judge
My mom raise me on her own, i have a father, but he was a selfish asshole, and I had to learn that at a early age cause my mother didn't want me to hate her for not wanting that man in my life
But again, if the child one day asks about its father just be honest with them, and make sure they know they are loved no matter what
Single parents raise kids all the time without the other persons help for years, yes it may or may not be hard, it's based on your financial state
Who says you need a mother or a father to raise a child, as long as the guardian is able to provide, and teach, and love that child, who are we to judge
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I wanna have some kids but just getting preggo by any ol guy aint gonna cut it. Im picky with who I choose to procreate with. However, I have been giving some thought of just picking some sperm out or something. Talked to my mom and shes actually down for it.
When I say alone, I mean no financial, emotional, or any kind of support from the father.