Saggie1220
@Saggie1220
8 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 50 · Topics: 6
Not ready what to do
Posted by leowwwI mean it really sucks because he could have told me that a week in, instead of waiting for 3 months, I already feel cheated and attached. I don't want to lose our friendship but it would take so much time to just see him as a friend.
Don't wait, if you want more and he can't offer that... If you stick around... You're about to get more attached and possibly hurt...
He's being honest with you at least.. Believe what he says if he's not ready for a serious commitment.
He says he's not ready, believe him.
Posted by tizianiYea I think you are right, we agreed that we were only going to be with each other (esp with sex involved), we agreed to only hangout with friends, not date around. I dont know what changed, I thought we were building towards something but I guess maybe he thought we were just being exclusive fwb. I held out sex for about a month so I dont think I was THAT easy but maybe I could have did better. Now I I think he may be looking for something/someone else even if its just for sex, I dont want to kiss or touch him so that should be easy to avoid. Sucks because I think deep down he just wanted to play games but that would hurt too much to believe.
I think you will make yourself feel even more anxious trying to control him through sex. But you have to find out for yourself.
Posted by DMVSo should I just start transitioning to a friend? We agreed we would be just friends for now, but I told him I didn't want there to be a "for now" and then he just switched and said when you come back we will take walks and go places, like we did before and spend time. And he wasnt acting like just a friend at all so. Not sure how to continue this.
He says he's not ready, believe him.
Posted by leowwwNot sure, I was new to the city, so he took me around and we walked all around the city, he bought me food I guess maybe that was our first "date" but no maybe we didn't do real dates much, but he came to my apt and I cooked for him maybe 3 times. Hes 22 im 21, we both just had birthdays. It was more so spending time getting to know each other?Posted by Saggie1220We're you exclusive fwb or dating?Posted by leowwwI mean it really sucks because he could have told me that a week in, instead of waiting for 3 months, I already feel cheated and attached. I don't want to lose our friendship but it would take so much time to just see him as a friend.
Don't wait, if you want more and he can't offer that... If you stick around... You're about to get more attached and possibly hurt...
He's being honest with you at least.. Believe what he says if he's not ready for a serious commitment.
Two very different types of relationships...
click to expand
Posted by tizianiYea you're right. I should just give up on himPosted by Saggie1220Posted by tizianiYea I think you are right, we agreed that we were only going to be with each other (esp with sex involved), we agreed to only hangout with friends, not date around. I dont know what changed, I thought we were building towards something but I guess maybe he thought we were just being exclusive fwb. I held out sex for about a month so I dont think I was THAT easy but maybe I could have did better. Now I I think he may be looking for something/someone else even if its just for sex, I dont want to kiss or touch him so that should be easy to avoid. Sucks because I think deep down he just wanted to play games but that would hurt too much to believe.
I think you will make yourself feel even more anxious trying to control him through sex. But you have to find out for yourself.
Isn't it more hurtful to think that maybe he's just being honest?
Because that would mean he's just like anyone else, and he's been careless.
But ultimately it'll probably save you a lot more time rather than thinking he went out to deliberately play you like an enemy.
click to expand
Posted by leowwwYea Im going to try to be just friends or I'm just going to have to say goodbye to this friendship, I just wish he wasn't my first. Like why would you take a girls V if you didn't want something serious, but he also said he didn't believe that I was but either way such an ass.Posted by Saggie1220Blurred lines.Posted by leowwwNot sure, I was new to the city, so he took me around and we walked all around the city, he bought me food I guess maybe that was our first "date" but no maybe we didn't do real dates much, but he came to my apt and I cooked for him maybe 3 times. Hes 22 im 21, we both just had birthdays. It was more so spending time getting to know each other?Posted by Saggie1220We're you exclusive fwb or dating?Posted by leowwwI mean it really sucks because he could have told me that a week in, instead of waiting for 3 months, I already feel cheated and attached. I don't want to lose our friendship but it would take so much time to just see him as a friend.
Don't wait, if you want more and he can't offer that... If you stick around... You're about to get more attached and possibly hurt...
He's being honest with you at least.. Believe what he says if he's not ready for a serious commitment.
Two very different types of relationships...
Well from what you posted above sounds to me like a fwb thing and you got attached...?
It happens all the time..
Now that you know he's not ready for a serious relationship, in your shoes I'd move on.
Again don't get hurt.
You don't want the same thing.
If you can transition to friends only, then good, take your time otherwise.
click to expand
Posted by ChoXtsyYea but at first we agreed we would only be with each other, only be with each other on a more than friends level, emotionally/mentally/. We weren't suppose to see or date other people but maybe he was lying the whole time who knows. He said he hasnt been with anyone since he last saw me but whoooo knows.
Maybe he wants something non-monogamous but finds it hard to bring up/suggest.
I texted him and told him he should have been upfront with with since day 1, and it was unfair but im ready to be just friends (forreal this time) and stop trying to build something more because thats not what he wants. He probably did play me and maybe we wont end up friends but I think I'm just ready to either move on because I have went through the hurt stage and now I am ready today accept what it is or try to build a new friendship with him.
1. He actually told you the truth.
2. We ought to be more accepting even if it's not what we want to hear.
3. Do you even want to be friends before and even after sex. If you have not had any sex then be friends and move on. And tell him you know what you are right. I'm going to do my thing things. Peace out and bye
4. No one likes to be put on the side lines. Or side chicks. People just don't have their shit together and you would know since you are a already friends actually.
2. We ought to be more accepting even if it's not what we want to hear.
3. Do you even want to be friends before and even after sex. If you have not had any sex then be friends and move on. And tell him you know what you are right. I'm going to do my thing things. Peace out and bye
4. No one likes to be put on the side lines. Or side chicks. People just don't have their shit together and you would know since you are a already friends actually.
Many of us go through this but it's a fine line of tolerant bullshit we don't have to go through. We will have shit thrown at us in life like this situation . Be tough and move on with someone who actually wanted you for you and not a side nothing.
Posted by leowww
He didn't play you... If you knew you were fwb.... 😕
As for losing your virginity, again your decision... You chose to lose it with a fuck buddy.
Plus if you feel played why stay friends with him?
Waaaait, I never knew we were fwb, we never put a label on what we were, we just said we wernt going to be with other people, and not go on dates with anyone else, and not talk to anyone else? So I didnt know what we were doing until I asked to be serious. As for being friends, I really enjoyed his company, he was caring, and we have a lot in common.
I know hes a good person because Ive seen it but I just dont know. Better to be friends than go cold turkey when attached? If I knew he didnt want to be serious I would have never even started anything with him and have been friends from the start
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428Yea I agree with this, I never entered knowing he wanted a side something or didnt want to eventually be serious, I thought we were just building but he doesnt want to be serious. So yea. I know from this point on if I continue with him in this type of friendship I will be hurting myself, but I dont take any blame for the bullshit because I just didnt know what he wanted until I asked to be serious.
Many of us go through this but it's a fine line of tolerant bullshit we don't have to go through. We will have shit thrown at us in life like this situation . Be tough and move on with someone who actually wanted you for you and not a side nothing.
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428He should have been honest day 1 not 3 months in you know? It would have been easier to handle.
1. He actually told you the truth.
2. We ought to be more accepting even if it's not what we want to hear.
3. Do you even want to be friends before and even after sex. If you have not had any sex then be friends and move on. And tell him you know what you are right. I'm going to do my thing things. Peace out and bye
4. No one likes to be put on the side lines. Or side chicks. People just don't have their shit together and you would know since you are a already friends actually.
Posted by Saggie1220I know but guess what you do have the ammo to do something about it. Hell I'm fixed energy so I know what goes on in the mind with this problems we face.Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428He should have been honest day 1 not 3 months in you know? It would have been easier to handle.
1. He actually told you the truth.
2. We ought to be more accepting even if it's not what we want to hear.
3. Do you even want to be friends before and even after sex. If you have not had any sex then be friends and move on. And tell him you know what you are right. I'm going to do my thing things. Peace out and bye
4. No one likes to be put on the side lines. Or side chicks. People just don't have their shit together and you would know since you are a already friends actually.
click to expand
Posted by Saggie1220Actually yall already talk you can ?Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428Yea I agree with this, I never entered knowing he wanted a side something or didnt want to eventually be serious, I thought we were just building but he doesnt want to be serious. So yea. I know from this point on if I continue with him in this type of friendship I will be hurting myself, but I dont take any blame for the bullshit because I just didnt know what he wanted until I asked to be serious.
Many of us go through this but it's a fine line of tolerant bullshit we don't have to go through. We will have shit thrown at us in life like this situation . Be tough and move on with someone who actually wanted you for you and not a side nothing.
click to expand
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428Lol wait what? Not understanding ?Posted by Saggie1220Actually yall already talk you can ?Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428Yea I agree with this, I never entered knowing he wanted a side something or didnt want to eventually be serious, I thought we were just building but he doesnt want to be serious. So yea. I know from this point on if I continue with him in this type of friendship I will be hurting myself, but I dont take any blame for the bullshit because I just didnt know what he wanted until I asked to be serious.
Many of us go through this but it's a fine line of tolerant bullshit we don't have to go through. We will have shit thrown at us in life like this situation . Be tough and move on with someone who actually wanted you for you and not a side nothing.
click to expand
I mean you have talked and you can ghost or let it go. You know?
Do your own thing now. Go to school or college without guy problems. Focus on you. Just be thankful and lesson learned.
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428Yes thank you, ughh I don't know what it is but its like I process things over and over again in my mind, replaying back every detail until I come to a final realization, and go back and forth between what I want and what it is, im so annoying but yes school is definitely #1.
Do your own thing now. Go to school or college without guy problems. Focus on you. Just be thankful and lesson learned.
Thanks again everyone.
I feel a reluctance to walk away because thats not what you want.
So don't walk away. Keep having sex, keep spending time with him, keep enjoying the good times.
So don't walk away. Keep having sex, keep spending time with him, keep enjoying the good times.
Posted by Saggie1220You cant put it all on him. Thats not fair and makes you look naive.
I texted him and told him he should have been upfront with with since day 1, and it was unfair but im ready to be just friends (forreal this time) and stop trying to build something more because thats not what he wants. He probably did play me and maybe we wont end up friends but I think I'm just ready to either move on because I have went through the hurt stage and now I am ready today accept what it is or try to build a new friendship with him.
Youre responsible for your vagina.
She's wasting time on a potential fwb. Rather focusing on herself with other priority other than worrying about a guy who is having doubts, is not ready, but yeah if you just want sex. Go for it.
Just know you can't really discuss or keep discuss where things are headed because he's not ready then you come off clingy and desperate.
It does take time to build if your into building a foundation first and are serious.
It does take time to build if your into building a foundation first and are serious.
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428@Op How old are you guys?
She's wasting time on a potential fwb. Rather focusing on herself with other priority other than worrying about a guy who is having doubts, is not ready, but yeah if you just want sex. Go for it.
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428@Op How old are you guys?
She's wasting time on a potential fwb. Rather focusing on herself with other priority other than worrying about a guy who is having doubts, is not ready, but yeah if you just want sex. Go for it.click to expand
21 and hes 22, I feel like I can put the blame on him because its not like I jumped in the bed with him, I waited a month and omg im 21 for sakes I feel like I waited enough, but if he would have been up front I would have never had took it far and developed feelings and even sexual feelings too. And no I dont want to have sex, havent seen him since he said he wasnt ready, which I was already away so I am not going back to resume what we had
He said he didnt need this and I stress him, and i said okay you dont need this? Fine. Then he said "I want you" and I said "yea well not enough to be serious". And honestly I am done, I wont text him or reach out anymore. If he wants to be friends then fine. I have already have showed my weakness but im also done trying to have what he isnt ready for.
Creating good times and continuing to do what we have been doing would be confusing, just rather be friends, I think its possible hopefully, or this whole thing would be a waste. I get that its a lesson learned but I dont want it to just turn to shit and I regret everything.
I dont mind building which is what I thought we were doing, because obv you have to be friends to be in a serious relationship, but then he prac said he didnt want to mess with other girls behind my back, and It just confused everything. I thought he was taking me serious before, but idk I guess when I brought up commitment he realized he wasn't ready. Even tho we were only seeing each other already. And he just stopped doing everything he use to do, prob because he didnt want me to think he wanted to be serious with me. So yea im not going to keep being strung along.
He needs more to settle, you have to offer him something that he can't find in any other woman. In order for us to settle there has to be something really special about that person, we need to have the utmost respect for you. If he is telling you he's not ready, stop wasting your time. Cut him off fast and explain your not the type of girl to just mess with someone without it going anywhere. We love a woman with a backbone so show it. If he respects you and really does care he will eventually come around. If not, well then you're not losing out on much anyway. Good Luck
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100Actually going to London this summer! So yes I feel mucb better very happy to move on.Posted by Saggie1220He's just a typical sag...Posted by tizianiYea you're right. I should just give up on himPosted by Saggie1220Posted by tizianiYea I think you are right, we agreed that we were only going to be with each other (esp with sex involved), we agreed to only hangout with friends, not date around. I dont know what changed, I thought we were building towards something but I guess maybe he thought we were just being exclusive fwb. I held out sex for about a month so I dont think I was THAT easy but maybe I could have did better. Now I I think he may be looking for something/someone else even if its just for sex, I dont want to kiss or touch him so that should be easy to avoid. Sucks because I think deep down he just wanted to play games but that would hurt too much to believe.
I think you will make yourself feel even more anxious trying to control him through sex. But you have to find out for yourself.
Isn't it more hurtful to think that maybe he's just being honest?
Because that would mean he's just like anyone else, and he's been careless.
But ultimately it'll probably save you a lot more time rather than thinking he went out to deliberately play you like an enemy.
Plus you are both really really young... Don't just tie yourself to one guy... Life is too short and there's a big world out there... Seek new adventures, travel etc. Enjoy your freedom while you still canclick to expand
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