"take it slow" confusion

I matched up with Sag guy months ago on a dating site. We had great back and forth, lots of texting. Then when he made a joke that hit me deep I kinda pulled back from him (I'm a Libra). We kept communication though and there were 2 times I didn't pull through on meeting him. He fell by the wayside and I dated other people.

Recently we reconnected and I was free so decided to finally meet him. We met in a cafe/bar and I was so impressed. He was so refined and naturally sexy, confident, funny. We were there for a while and I said we could end the date or walk around and he suggested to walk around. We walked around and I suggested he walk me to the subway and he's like, "Oh, we're near my house. We mine as well go there." It sounded like a good idea since some months ago we actually considered being roomates due to a crazy housing situation I was in. But I flaked on visiting back then and so finally wanted to see the place. While there we took a mini nap on the couch (yay nap dates lol) and then just chatted etc. In our game of 21 questions he asked to kiss and we def did that, then lots of that as we would start and stop and were close to "doing the do" but I pulled back while he was persistent. then when he decided to be a good boy I tried and he started resisting me lol. then he'd try again and I'd resist again. a fun push and pull. he mentioned it was the best first date he's been on and I agreed.

fast forward I finally leave later than I wanted after him wanting me to stay. we text the same day talking about hanging out again and he said he would be free and to let him know (he just graduated grad school and is in between jobs).............then later I text him that maybe next time I'll bring a night bag to spend the night. and his response was playful but to "not get too excited" and that he wants to take his time so he can be a good boy. I tell him he's confusing and he's playful again saying that's how he wants to be. and that as far as sleeping over "there's time to get there" and later repeated again "I like it slow."...........

I was fine with this. except the text the next day he said he was headed to new york and would be there for more than a week because there was "nothing to do." a slap in the face as obviously we could be hanging out duh! this would be fine except that first week of September he planned to move to new york anyway for work so this cuts down the time I can hang with him before his permanent move. he mentioned before I could come with him to new york when he moved (another joke?). I did express to him I was a little sad about him being away right now....while he's currently visiting new york we haven't been texting much.......so to me this changes the whole "take it slow" bit that I was originally fine with. kinda funny that he joked months ago and on our date asking me to marry him smh...he's called me unreliable when talking about my previous flaky actions.

is he just unsure about us, or lost interest?

Lol. Libras are so cardinal i cant stand it.

Too soo to tell. Let him enjoy his vacation. When he comes back, wait for him to contact. If he doesnt, text him asking about his vacay, do not mention anything else. Wait for him to make a move.

Long distance is not ideal for saggis tho

Posted by DMV
Lol. Libras are so cardinal i cant stand it.

Too soo to tell. Let him enjoy his vacation. When he comes back, wait for him to contact. If he doesnt, text him asking about his vacay, do not mention anything else. Wait for him to make a move.

Long distance is not ideal for saggis tho

Oh gosh, well I irk myself sometimes. C'est la vie haha.

So I shouldn't text him anymore during his vacay then? I haven't been blowing up his phone, just to say good night. He initiated once but to complain about how I ruined a shirt he had with my makeup -_- not necessarily a happy text.

I don't like long distance either, but the nature of my work would allow me to move to New York. I'm not quite sure if he's aware of that or not.

Posted by Plagued
He'll be fuckin someone before lights come out.

You were too flakey on him and wonder why he's becoming the same. Off on his sail boat

This match is a no go anyway. All 3 of the sag men I slept with had girlfriends at the time, just hid em, another reason this energy is distasteful for anything serious and not following through is distasteful on your scale-end.

Well he doesn't seem the type to just sleep around. He hasn't been intimate this year at all according to him...And why bother trying to be a "good boy" if that's all it was, you know...

Yes I know I was flakey but dag, can't people redeem themselves.

I've had good, loyal, consistent Sags and bad, disloyal, no good Sags so can't say they it would automatically be a no-go with all of them. Sorry you had bad experiences though, that sucks~

Posted by leeberated

Posted by DMV
Lol. Libras are so cardinal i cant stand it.

Too soo to tell. Let him enjoy his vacation. When he comes back, wait for him to contact. If he doesnt, text him asking about his vacay, do not mention anything else. Wait for him to make a move.

Long distance is not ideal for saggis tho

Oh gosh, well I irk myself sometimes. C'est la vie haha.

So I shouldn't text him anymore during his vacay then? I haven't been blowing up his phone, just to say good night. He initiated once but to complain about how I ruined a shirt he had with my makeup -_- not necessarily a happy text.

I don't like long distance either, but the nature of my work would allow me to move to New York. I'm not quite sure if he's aware of that or not.

click to expand

Damn gurl. Fall back. Let him miss you

Aight, got it...needed that @_@

The first time you met him you acted like a flake. You are the confusing one. No, yes, no, yes, no....

You acted like a "fake" good girl. You said no. He respected that. Then you started to try. Geesh! You are either a good girl or you're not. See how that is so inconsistent and flaky? What is he supposed to think? What would you think about someone who said they were one thing, then acted the complete opposite?

No, I'm not a sag, but I do know Sags aren't stupid. They read between the lines very easily

Posted by truecap
The first time you met him you acted like a flake. You are the confusing one. No, yes, no, yes, no....

You acted like a "fake" good girl. You said no. He respected that. Then you started to try. Geesh! You are either a good girl or you're not. See how that is so inconsistent and flaky? What is he supposed to think? What would you think about someone who said they were one thing, then acted the complete opposite?

No, I'm not a sag, but I do know Sags aren't stupid. They read between the lines very easily

A fake good girl, yikes. It does sound bad, but in the moment we both seemed to be having fun with it. He didn't seem seriously annoyed. He was also going back and forth, but good point. I plan to follow his "good boy" lead

Posted by strawberrykush
"""I was fine with this. except the text the next day he said he was headed to new york and would be there for more than a week because there was "nothing to do." a slap in the face as obviously we could be hanging out duh! """

There is no need to be offended by this. Just because he told you he had nothing to do, that doesn't mean literally that. If he's moving there soon, maybe he wanted to get a break and benefit from looking at the area so he can get a feel of the town. I wouldn't take it too personal. Also the reason why he isnt talking as much maybe he's been busy.

It seems like he likes you and yes, he probably wants to take it slow...if you like him just be patient and when he has more time you guys can talk.

Thanks ? Basically I need a hobby pffft

OP, what are your other planets? like moon or mars

'Then when he made a joke that hit me deep I kinda

pulled back from him (I'm a Libra...'

What was the joke, and why doesn't it bother you now?

Posted by Pandora101
OP, what are your other planets? like moon or mars

Apparently a Cancer ascendant and then the below...ut oh, what's the diagnosis

Sun Libra

Moon Gemini

Mercury Libra

Venus Leo

Mars Libra

Jupiter Virgo

Saturn Aquarius

Uranus Capricorn

Neptune Capricorn

Pluto Scorpio

We're both from other countries but I'm half American and was Americanized really young, so he joked about my Americanization.

Well time has passed. I had to rem that Sags will just say whatever's on their mind sometimes bluntly but dsnt mean they purposefully mean to hurt you I guess (loveable buttholes). Also it's not like he teased me every day about anything.

Posted by Redoctober2000

Posted by truecap
The first time you met him you acted like a flake. You are the confusing one. No, yes, no, yes, no....

You acted like a "fake" good girl. You said no. He respected that. Then you started to try. Geesh! You are either a good girl or you're not. See how that is so inconsistent and flaky? What is he supposed to think? What would you think about someone who said they were one thing, then acted the complete opposite?

No, I'm not a sag, but I do know Sags aren't stupid. They read between the lines very easily

That's a libra alright!! Glad my mantra "Libra: fake Flakes of the zodiac".. Is alive and kicking in true libra form!!!

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Here we go... Lol

He's unsure about you.

I'm going to be honest. First, if you were offended by what he said, why not address it with him? Instead, you pull back and expected him to just figure it out instead of addressing it here on. He picked up on this and you come across as reliable. Thats a red flag.

I'm sorry but I pretty much concur with TrueCap. If you actually want him, be consistent and he'll follow suit.

What @DMV said. Let him miss you cause right now he doesn't seem too interested in you.

Yeap, well @SofiaV87 you were right as we won't be pursuing anything. I did ask him to "keep it 100" and he said he'll be nipping it in the bud but that "I'm cool though" HA! Well, lessons learned. Not much more to say to that. I do wish he could have been more upfront when he realized instead of making it as if we had a future, and having to "pull it out" of him so-to-speak when his actions were suspect, but c'est la vie. Will surely be working on my consistency issues though...

Good to know, most def. I did try to redeem myself but too little too late I suppose!

Posted by leeberated
Yeap, well @SofiaV87 you were right as we won't be pursuing anything. I did ask him to "keep it 100" and he said he'll be nipping it in the bud but that "I'm cool though" HA! Well, lessons learned. Not much more to say to that. I do wish he could have been more upfront when he realized instead of making it as if we had a future, and having to "pull it out" of him so-to-speak when his actions were suspect, but c'est la vie. Will surely be working on my consistency issues though...

He was all talking & flirting. He did you a favor. Next lol

Pretty much right!? LOL. Flirting can be fun but I've never led someone to think we were going to be dating. But anyway, lol.