Sag bf turned out to be married with another Sag but still wants me (Gemini woman)

We've been together for 14 months and I found out that he is secretly married for 4 months and prior to that have been engaged since 2 years ago. When he found out I knew, he sent texts/ calls me everywhere asking me to forgive him while I flat out ignored him. What make matters worse is that even prior and after engagement he still actively flirts with other girls, changing his target every 2-3 months. His friend did note that I am the girl that he's been longest with, apart from his wife that is. Since I've known that he's married and his wife is pregnant, rereading our chats make me feel ill especially when he expressed his desire for me knowing full well another woman is warming his bed. Our interaction were hardly sexual (only twice throughout the course of relationship while with the past girls, his objective were purely sexual) and he claimed that I am the few ones that he let in on his life. Knowing his infidelity, I am done with this man but there are a few things I am curious about.

Firstly, why? He claimed he love his wife and yet he does all of this behind her and went through a lot of trouble just to keep it in the dark. When I asked about her, he doesn't seem enthusiastic to talk about her.

Secondly, I know Sag rarely let ppl into their life but could he mean it when he said that?

It's such a shame, I've never met anyone who interest me this much but infidelity is a big no-no in my book when it comes to marriage.

What can I say....my ex fuck buddy Sag turned out to be married. Despite the "job description", our wasn't a very sexual relationship either. What he was mainly after was romance, texting, kissing, drinks in a club and daily banter. A teenage dream, lol! Then, I discovered his wife...and her FB page...she was a fit, good looking Leo, with a larger than life personality. It put me off of even talking to him afterwards.

Posted by Undine
What can I say....my ex fuck buddy Sag turned out to be married. Despite the "job description", our wasn't a very sexual relationship either. What he was mainly after was romance, texting, kissing, drinks in a club and daily banter. A teenage dream, lol! Then, I discovered his wife...and her FB page...she was a fit, good looking Leo, with a larger than life personality. It put me off of even talking to him afterwards.

I discovered his wife FB 2 days ago. She's a regular looking Jane, chubby which surprises me since he like to boast about himself, I was expecting someone drop dead gorgeous. He even lied to me saying she's a photographer but in truth, she works as administrative officer at a school and there's nothing that points towards her artistic tendency on her FB's post. Admittedly, my self-esteem did took some hit when I saw how pretty she look in their wedding pic but it was very obvious later on, based on her FB post that it was all make up, photoshop editing and plain old trick of the light.

He wants the best of both worlds

Tell him to *get over himself*



Lol at *loving his wife*

Idiot

Posted by infires
Sags also keep plan b, c and d if a doesn't work out, they dont like to be controlled or even commit for long. I knew one girl who cheated on her different boyfriends twice with a fuck buddy, when they found out and broke up with her..She found another guy. Then she mentioned that she wanted another side guy.

sags are good friends but relationship wise, it's best to rethink because of course not all sags are the same.

Good for you for putting your foot down, it couldnt be considered acceptable

The fact he didnt tell you this really important thing, makes you wonder what else he is hiding

He lied about so many things but luckily, I spent days gathering all my facts and proof before confronting him. It's even funny how he could wrongly remember the month he got married, telling me it's April 2016 when it's actually December 2016, just 4 months ago. It would be sort of acceptable if he's old with bad memory but he's just 27...

I heard from his friend and he even admitted to his wife being controlling such as checking his phone often (which is why he have to block me when we're not talking) and even keeping his credit cards.

Posted by MyStarsShine
He wants the best of both worlds

Tell him to *get over himself*



Lol at *loving his wife*

Idiot

My sentiments exactly.

I am not sure how a compulsive liar learns not to be

Tbh, i wouldn't touch a guy like this with a barge pole

Posted by arcito

Posted by Undine
What can I say....my ex fuck buddy Sag turned out to be married. Despite the "job description", our wasn't a very sexual relationship either. What he was mainly after was romance, texting, kissing, drinks in a club and daily banter. A teenage dream, lol! Then, I discovered his wife...and her FB page...she was a fit, good looking Leo, with a larger than life personality. It put me off of even talking to him afterwards.

I discovered his wife FB 2 days ago. She's a regular looking Jane, chubby which surprises me since he like to boast about himself, I was expecting someone drop dead gorgeous. He even lied to me saying she's a photographer but in truth, she works as administrative officer at a school and there's nothing that points towards her artistic tendency on her FB's post. Admittedly, my self-esteem did took some hit when I saw how pretty she look in their wedding pic but it was very obvious later on, based on her FB post that it was all make up, photoshop editing and plain old trick of the light.

click to expand

Aww I know your sad and jealous. But you can't blame the girl. It's not her fault. And it's not your fault either because you didn't know. Personally I think you should tell her. It would create drama, which isn't good but I'd want the truth if I was the other woman.

What a loser.

Could he mean it when he said it?

Hmm do you think he means it when he tells his wife he loves her? Because regardless of what you think or the friend tells you, believe me he tells his wife he loves her. Plus all the other girls he talks to. Do you not think he feeds them lies too?

He's the lowest of the low. Wife is pregnant, has an emotional, slightly sexual relationship with you, and has other women on the side who excite him sexually (or he wouldn't keep going to them.)

Geez what a keeper this one is.

Seriously WHO CARES what he means or doesn't mean, what his wife looks like or doesn't look life, where she works, if she's "controlling" (he could just be a damn cheater who she is now paranoid about because she's MARRIED to him and is going to have his BABY), etc. I wouldn't even give this guy a second thought. I wouldn't ask questions, look up his/her info. Nothing. Move on OP. Why you are wasting time even caring is beyond me.

Why did he do it? Simple, he's a loser.

Side note: I know MANY Sag men and women who are great people, been around them enough to know that they don't cheat, are happy in their relationships, and are excellent family people.

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by arcito

Posted by Undine
What can I say....my ex fuck buddy Sag turned out to be married. Despite the "job description", our wasn't a very sexual relationship either. What he was mainly after was romance, texting, kissing, drinks in a club and daily banter. A teenage dream, lol! Then, I discovered his wife...and her FB page...she was a fit, good looking Leo, with a larger than life personality. It put me off of even talking to him afterwards.

I discovered his wife FB 2 days ago. She's a regular looking Jane, chubby which surprises me since he like to boast about himself, I was expecting someone drop dead gorgeous. He even lied to me saying she's a photographer but in truth, she works as administrative officer at a school and there's nothing that points towards her artistic tendency on her FB's post. Admittedly, my self-esteem did took some hit when I saw how pretty she look in their wedding pic but it was very obvious later on, based on her FB post that it was all make up, photoshop editing and plain old trick of the light.

Aww I know your sad and jealous. But you can't blame the girl. It's not her fault. And it's not your fault either because you didn't know. Personally I think you should tell her. It would create drama, which isn't good but I'd want the truth if I was the other woman.

Posted by FknNerd
Tell his wife

click to expand

No, I've never blame the girl. He is the main perpetrator. The part about her looks and job is just me reinstating what a liar and insecure person he is. I too, want to know the truth if I am in her shoes, but I would want it to be done anonymously and not have it be trace back to me.

Posted by arcito

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by arcito

Posted by Undine
What can I say....my ex fuck buddy Sag turned out to be married. Despite the "job description", our wasn't a very sexual relationship either. What he was mainly after was romance, texting, kissing, drinks in a club and daily banter. A teenage dream, lol! Then, I discovered his wife...and her FB page...she was a fit, good looking Leo, with a larger than life personality. It put me off of even talking to him afterwards.

I discovered his wife FB 2 days ago. She's a regular looking Jane, chubby which surprises me since he like to boast about himself, I was expecting someone drop dead gorgeous. He even lied to me saying she's a photographer but in truth, she works as administrative officer at a school and there's nothing that points towards her artistic tendency on her FB's post. Admittedly, my self-esteem did took some hit when I saw how pretty she look in their wedding pic but it was very obvious later on, based on her FB post that it was all make up, photoshop editing and plain old trick of the light.

Aww I know your sad and jealous. But you can't blame the girl. It's not her fault. And it's not your fault either because you didn't know. Personally I think you should tell her. It would create drama, which isn't good but I'd want the truth if I was the other woman.

Posted by FknNerd
Tell his wife

No, I've never blame the girl. He is the main perpetrator. The part about her looks and job is just me reinstating what a liar and insecure person he is. I too, want to know the truth if I am in her shoes, but I would want it to be done anonymously and not have it be trace back to me.

click to expand

You could make a new Facebook account and message her.

He is selfish and probably does like you.

He is also a liar and who wants one of those?

Do yourself a HUGE favor! Run! Get rid of this jerk! Don't allow yourself to look like a fool. You have been too kind. Go now, while you still have some marbles in tact. He is a manipulative love-bomber.

Okay so what' s the problem? Gemini women are perfect side chicks.

Posted by jane84
What a loser.

Could he mean it when he said it?

Hmm do you think he means it when he tells his wife he loves her? Because regardless of what you think or the friend tells you, believe me he tells his wife he loves her. Plus all the other girls he talks to. Do you not think he feeds them lies too?

He's the lowest of the low. Wife is pregnant, has an emotional, slightly sexual relationship with you, and has other women on the side who excite him sexually (or he wouldn't keep going to them.)

Geez what a keeper this one is.

Seriously WHO CARES what he means or doesn't mean, what his wife looks like or doesn't look life, where she works, if she's "controlling" (he could just be a damn cheater who she is now paranoid about because she's MARRIED to him and is going to have his BABY), etc. I wouldn't even give this guy a second thought. I wouldn't ask questions, look up his/her info. Nothing. Move on OP. Why you are wasting time even caring is beyond me.

Why did he do it? Simple, he's a loser.

Side note: I know MANY Sag men and women who are great people, been around them enough to know that they don't cheat, are happy in their relationships, and are excellent family people.

This. I know the OP is wrapping her mind around it and she's going to have "why" questions wondering what the bloody eff, but she shouldn't be reading into anything. She's not the magical vagina here. A lot of women tend to think they're something special if they can get a guy to cheat and it's pretty fucking pathetic basing your worth on another loser's infidelity.

What I don't understand, OP, is if you guys only had sex a few times in 14 months, why weren't red flags going off then? :/

? Barf.... turn off central

Thank you so much for your comments guys. This is my first post on this forum and I did hesitate to post in fear that nobody would bother to comment.

Regarding to tell or not to tell. I'd pick no for now. She's in pregnancy and there were some oddities that I noticed which might indicate there's problem with the marriage and/or her in-laws. I'd feel bad if I make things worse.

From the moment I discovered, I decided to put things to an end. Thinking back, the reasons I try to find out more was cause that was my way of grieving. Instead of letting the emotions go, I put all my energy and focus into hunting it instead of confronting my own feelings. Not surprisingly, getting the information didn't make me feel any better.

Another reason was I was curious, here is a man, in his late 20s and already very successful in his careers. Why would he do such thing?

Thank you for your input guys, I really appreciate it.

This is very normal these days... why did you go out with him with out getting to know him... Obviously if someone is married you missed something really big and your communication failed...

This is what is wrong with the world. Congrats on rewarding a man for doing the wrong thing... If you want to do the right thing you need to tell his wife... men like this will keep doing this. I hope he has kids and she take him for every cent he is worth.

It is amazing woman are this dense... how could you go for 14 months sleep with a man and not know he is married...

was he your sugar daddy...

Piscesmoon

Posted by arcito
After I break things off with him 1 month ago, he continued to send me messages using different phone numbers, letters and making calls from anonymous numbers begging me to return. I ignored and even block every new numbers he used.

Yesterday I found out via our mutual friends that his wife gave birth which means she was already 3 months pregnant by the time they got married. The greatest shock was that the baby daughter's first name was based on mine. He told me once that if he can't have me, he's name his daughter after me so that he can love her the way he loves me. I am so creep out right now since I never thought he'd follow through.

He sounds unhinged

If it was me, i would send one last msg to him saying that if he doesn't stop contacting me, there will be consequences

Nobody cares about an update .... you shouldn't either. Nor should you care what he named his daughter.



You sound like you enjoy him chasing you, and you seem tickled to be in the know of his comings and goings.



You must be tricky ..... even to people here when you tell them that you don't care, because that's obviously not the truth.