Sags and cheating spouses or gf

have you guys ever taken back a cheating spouse back after they had an affair for a couple years? why? did it work out? are you still together? if not - how long did it take before it went down the drain?

and noooo... I'm not the cheating gf or spouse here - in case you all wonder 🙂

xo

When I was with my Leo ex I did. I was young and naive. The story is long and I can't go into it but eventually my brain caught up with the rest of me and I waved him off 6 years later. He was a serial cheater and liar but very clever in what he did. It was turbulent to say the least but I also cherish some cracking memorable moments with him.

Obviously if he didn't cheat I'd still be with him but by the end of it he'd confessed what he did...what my gut instinct was telling me all along...we both had a row...it ended bitterly and I went *poof* changed my number and blocked him (had to as he'd stalk and harass me). It's been 2 years and apart from him popping up on my views on a dating website I haven't heard from him.

Since then I've been cautious about relationships and I can't seem to tolerate them or commit to them fully. I use the self-sabotage button a lot. I've friend-zoned an Aqua I was seeing for a year. He proved to be trustworthy but we still couldn't go fully in there. Sometimes the whole idea of relationships and babies makes me feel nauseous LOL. I swing from really wanting someone to share with to not at all. Usually I enjoy and thrive being in a loving committed relationship but the ex left me shaken and stirred... and not in a good way LOL.

I'm still for relationships, but trust is paramount next time in. A man that crosses my path will unfortunately share my wrath on this, and will have to have staying power. He will restore my faith in trust-related issues. The Aqua did but for some reason we both can't seem to commit to each other. When I was with the ex we discussed children but now I don't think I'd have any although I absolutely love them. I'm studying to become a social worker so at least I'd be around them helping and supporting them.

Hope this helps. 🙂

I've taken one back but it was short lived.

never been cheated on that i know of. but if i did, no i wouldnt take them back. once a cheater, always a cheater.

it wasn't him that cheated - it was her. during their marriage, it was a full out relationship after along with living together and getting a puppy - really. then 2 years after the affair started she got dumped and he took her back. it's been six months and they are still together, but not officially and he now still doesn't know if this was right or wrong.

he emailed me saying so and whatever other butter men say to string women along - like he expect to keep our door open. but that's just not going to happen. at this point he is confused and if that's the case, they deserve each other, if he has a wondering eye towards me while being with her. just my opinion.

I'm just curious about this. I know a lot of Sags and this is the first that I see with such wishy washy behavior - so I need enlightenment.
I personally took my kids father back 3 times. Obviously it never worked out. Once trust is gone with infidelity - it's gone for ever.
I truly believe, once a cheater always a cheater, especially when it's not one night stand or a short lived fling, but an all out "you changed my life together for ever" butter.

I'm just mind boggled.

My son's father cheated on me from the time my son was born up to almost a year when I found out. I was devastated and heartbroken to say the least.
About 4 years after...we tried to get back together. For our son, and for us (maybe?).
It did not work. I was disgusted by him....his eyes, which I once adored, were shadowed and black, his hair had flakes in it, his breath smelled, his ears were crusty. He was physically repulsing me. He tried to have sex with me, but I had to stop this madness!

All in all, it was a smart move on my part-the girls he told he kept at bay (when we tried to get back together) kept calling and now, he cheats on his current girlfriend. Same ol', same ol'!

At least I am not the girlfriend at home wondering where he is, and why he smells of womans perfume! Now, I cannot tolerate nor stand cheaters. I know-to each his own, but if you can't stick your OWN girl, then leave her to stick the other!

silly - the dog she got with the bf she cheated with not the husband. btw she's 35 - not like we are talking about someone young.
the question is - can a man really forgive and forget something like this and re built a now divorced marriage? how long before he croaks?

I give another 3-6 months. tops.

Sag men certainly do seem to be more forgiving of cheaters than Sag women. And I'm just going by threads created here by Sag men, btw.

I guess you could wait (waste?) the 3 to 6 months to see if you're right.

I did. I told him he needs to be alone and figure out what it is he wants. Because if he's with me look int at her and with her looking at me, then he's not looking at either one of us.
Whatever she did, he's convulting himself into delusional abyss and someone somewhere will get really hurt emotionally.

I love him still... but will never trust him.

I give it another 3-6 months, he deploys in a few months and so she will do it again and that will be it after that at the most.

men... such smart creatures and so dumb at times.

Aqua. same date of birth as my ex. the irony.

true, and so the naive sag will chase what made him a fool once and will make him a fool twice.

meh... now I'm bitter, lol. oh bother...

Posted by Wynter
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I guess you could wait (waste?) the 3 to 6 months to see if you're right.

you know I heart you for the "waste" - real talk... just you know... I'm hard headed and that Gem Kurios Kat is alive and kicking. I'm my own calamity.

Posted by everevolvingepithet
Wouldn't it be better for yourself to just leave them to it if that's the case though?

it is better to leave.
I could not get back with him now anyways. I wasn't important enough, nor appreciated enough. To earn my trust by him now would be impossible. I know my nature. I could never trust, and it would take years for me to feel that he is here to stay, and who knows how long for me to get over that the second handed me. All that besides the point.


I don't see how truly this can be forgive and forget between them. The sheer circumstances are so dramatic and so heartbreaking that I don't see how it is possible for any man to really move on and truly build something substantial with such past. Men will not contort themselves to be what they are not. Nor do men in general want to be the doormats to someone who will be willingly and openly making asses out of them. No man in prominent position with a very strong achieving drive will be a doormat. Not for long. Not to anyone.

just my humble thoughts.

I remember your story. 😢

As far as Sagis taking back cheating exes...Idk...we are naive? I haven't been in that position, but I've seen a Sagi friend take back a cheating boyfriend numerous times. I think she just really wanted it to work, and made a million excuses for him.
The weirdest part is she knows he'll do it again and openly admits this..... bizarre.

I just really hope you send him the message he should have sent his ex...and you do that by NOT taking him back.
don't be plan B, please. I know it sucks because you really wanted it to work...but if you send the wrong message and take him back, he's only going to continue to treat you this way because there is no consequence for his behavior.


♥

oh, I know. I can't. not now, not later. things are broken. I refuse to be with someone who wants be because someone else does not. that's not a way to build anything. He got the message. I told him: you were with me and were looking at her and now you are with her and looking at me. what are you doing?". I doubt we will speak again. That's ok. It's been a long 6 months, but it's done and no one should go through this. He made his choice. Women always make excuses for men's wrong doing, as if they were children. They are not. He is not. Nor is she. "These are conscious choices and they have to take the consequences, be cheated on and live with it, or be always tempted to cheat and have a wondering eye" - my best friends words (Sag too apparently).
In the end they both need therapy. Toxic.

In any case... I find it odd for a such a strong sign even with his placements like Scrop, and Gem and Taurus, well, he has that Cancer moon, that makes him weak. But still... Sag is a strong sign and I would expect it from Virgo man or Cancer or Pisces, maybe even Taurus for their love of stability. Just odd to me. I know 3 male Sags aside for him and all are in the WTF faze of what he's done.