What is your experience with Aries?

My Sag friend is with an ARies. He's a good man. Looks after her, takes care of her, provides for her, very stable and dependable man, kind, just a great guy. She loves him very much. Here's the problem, she confessed to me that the things he says and the way he disses her ideas makes her feel down-graded and is starting to hurt her self esteem. He's a good man, would never purposely hurt her, but Aries is just a little blunt, hot-headed and gruff as a general trait. She isn't used to this behavior. She knows he's a good man and isn't interested in leaving him. But she's wondering what she can do to prevent him from harming her self esteem.

Any of you have experience on this subject? I'm not not sure what to tell her. She's talked to him and he tries, but then he gets in one of his huffy moods and she takes it to heart. She knows better, but can't help but feel he is condescending toward her at times. He's not always, just when gruffy or irritated - sometimes by her, sometimes by something else.

My Sag mom is with my Aries dad, she just learned to ignore him, go about her business and re-approach later. My Sag friend has a hard time with that, she's more vocal than my mom.

Thanks for whatever words of advice you have that I can pass on to her.

Rationally, she knows not to take it to heart. Personally, it hurts her feelings. Head isn't overruling heart and she's trying to find a way to deal with it, prevent it, cope with it, etc.

I'm a sag and I have 2 Aries older brothers. In my experience they do get like this and it has a lot to do with them wanting to feel superior over me. I've accomplished a lot of things in my life and though I know they are proud of me they never want to feel like I'm better than them, that's the alpha male in both of them.
I've learned to handle it just like your mom, I ignore them because the mood always passes and I know they don't mean any harm they're just being vocal about their opinions which they both think are always right. SOMETIMES I would choose to start arguments with them if I disagree with something but those arguments NEVER end in a agreement. It's just us fighting for the last word and disagreeing til the end. Id say the best advice for your friend is just to get thicker skin and ignore it or else she might start fights that don't have a resolution.

What's up TrueCap?

Yeah, Aries are that way in general. We understand that to a certain extent being fellow fire signs. I just ignore them mostly. Sometimes I "return" the favor to let them know they need to chill. Let them know that there are certain lines you can't cross.

With your friend, she needs to be direct but tactful. Remember Aries is the God of War so attacking them won't work. But I've found most of them to be pretty reasonable if you actually sit down and talk to them. She shouldn't accuse, but let him know how he hurts her.

Hmm, I've only really known one aries boy and he was very nice.

She's done that. She is very good about presenting issues in a non-threatening way. She noticed the efforts he made and that he tries, but then his core personality comes back.

All I know to tell her is don't let it get to you. Ignore it and be like teflon. Let the words roll off instead of soaking them in.

Posted by Sag89
Hmm, I've only really known one aries boy and he was very nice.

Yes, Aries are sweet, generous people. They like to take care of the ones they love, but it can be a little over-bearing and condescending sometimes.

Posted by beautifulsoul74
What's up TrueCap?

Trying to stay warm! How's life treating you?

Aries are great. Surrounded by em

i have mixed feelings about arian people. my advice would only be clouded with bias.

i will say that, others around here helped me out when i was having problem with my ex aries bff.

in the end, people on here were right. I cant be the victim because i alone stood for it the first time it happened. Id give the same advice to your friend, if u want the behavior to stop with ANY fire sign, you have to put them in their place.

if it doesnt work, meaning that behavior is a part of the psyche, then either stop complaining or move on.

I agree, tell her to put him in his place.

That sounds like some pretty solid advice! That's what I will tell her.

I mean, I'll tell her what each of you said, then she can choose and decide the best way for her.

Unfortunately, this isn't something I think they can change...blame that cold planet Mars of theirs lol.

I'm surrounded by Aries, and am currently dating one. They can certainly side swipe you with a underhanded comment, be brutally sarcastic that it cuts your core, and sometimes even treat you as if they resent you for no reason.

I find a lot of Aries have pent up aggression/anger, that stems from something that happened in their past. I think this is where a lot of that coldness comes from. Aries are actually very sensitive souls, but hide behind that cold exterior as a defense mechanism.

What works for me...to ignore it, and realize no one is perfect. We all have our flaws, but I think it's easier for me because I'm a Scorp, and we both share the same bastard father - Mars.

Posted by candyapples88
Unfortunately, this isn't something I think they can change...blame that cold planet Mars of theirs lol.

I'm surrounded by Aries, and am currently dating one. They can certainly side swipe you with a underhanded comment, be brutally sarcastic that it cuts your core, and sometimes even treat you as if they resent you for no reason.

I find a lot of Aries have pent up aggression/anger, that stems from something that happened in their past. I think this is where a lot of that coldness comes from. Aries are actually very sensitive souls, but hide behind that cold exterior as a defense mechanism.

What works for me...to ignore it, and realize no one is perfect. We all have our flaws, but I think it's easier for me because I'm a Scorp, and we both share the same bastard father - Mars.

Agreed. Mars is actually one of my chart rulers, being a second decan Sag. I'm all fire and water(mostly Scorp) which is why I can handle most of what they dish out. It is very true about their sensitive side. What's funny is, if they revealed it more often, their softer side, it would actually win them more favor.

Posted by truecap

Posted by beautifulsoul74
What's up TrueCap?

Trying to stay warm! How's life treating you?

click to expand

Here Here! Not used to this cold weather down south lol but I'm hanging. Other then that, life's cool. Doing my things. How's it treating you?

Self esteem jabs doesn't sound like a good time to me, imo

Oh and it really pisses me off when people are offended/hurt by something that I have said and then don't tell me! They just walk around mad and I'm like.. what'd I do? Ugh.. I realize that most of my comments are stupid comments and that I should keep my thoughts in my head but damn.. tell me when you're upset.. how can I fix things if I'm not exactly sure what set you off..

Posted by AriesIntrovert16
Oh and it really pisses me off when people are offended/hurt by something that I have said and then don't tell me! They just walk around mad and I'm like.. what'd I do? Ugh.. I realize that most of my comments are stupid comments and that I should keep my thoughts in my head but damn.. tell me when you're upset.. how can I fix things if I'm not exactly sure what set you off..

i feel you on this. this is exactly why i was upset with my aries friend. I had a problem with her and brought it to her attention. i didnt get afforded that same courtesy.

how am i supposed to correct a situation or my behavior if you never tell me.

i think that if a friend has trouble bringing something to your attention, theres an underlying problem.

The user who posted this message has hidden it.

Why did you hide your post? I'm interested in what another Aries has to say. 🙂

sorry...i had inverted who was sag and who was aries and wanted to edit, but couldn't find option and then had to run to work.

here's my 2 cents - event though old thread.

first, i can only speak for my experience. everyone is different though there are common threads. I have 2 aries friends born on the exact same day (one same hour) and we are very different. It happens to me very often that I get caught up in the heat of discussion, in the heat of being funny, or in the heat of being and I say things that end up offending people...even deeply. I am always aware of when this happens and feel AWFUL after the fact. Historically my pride would never allow me to apologize, but recently after much internal work anytime I think I may have offended someone I apologize and try to explain what I meant or just apologize and that's it. According to the books, the aries is the baby of the zodiac...so I would think about sometimes when babies play with their parents and sometimes give them headbutts or smack them in the face. That said I've met plenty Aries men who love to wound (remember that the Aries is the warrior). Other then opened my mouth too much, I too love fighting and sometimes say things that can be found offensive by others in those situations too. Intentionally and otherwise. I'm working on it :-)

The real issue here is that this girl hangs her self esteem on what the guy says. The only person who can be responsible for keeping her self esteem up is her. Otherwise she's just gifting her power and it's not a question of aries/taurus/cancer because if an unkind word from outside changes her view of herself then anyone can do that. It's also completely up to her to set boundaries and make sure they're respected. If he's rude and she says stop and he keeps it up - it's up to her to change her behavior (not his) and then let him decide if he wants to change or not. I've been through this whole stuff myself and unless you're owning your esteem and your boundaries there's nothing astrology can ever do to make you feel better.

sorry for the sermon - but i've been there too.

Posted by triplearies
sorry...i had inverted who was sag and who was aries and wanted to edit, but couldn't find option and then had to run to work.

here's my 2 cents - event though old thread.

first, i can only speak for my experience. everyone is different though there are common threads. I have 2 aries friends born on the exact same day (one same hour) and we are very different. It happens to me very often that I get caught up in the heat of discussion, in the heat of being funny, or in the heat of being and I say things that end up offending people...even deeply. I am always aware of when this happens and feel AWFUL after the fact. Historically my pride would never allow me to apologize, but recently after much internal work anytime I think I may have offended someone I apologize and try to explain what I meant or just apologize and that's it. According to the books, the aries is the baby of the zodiac...so I would think about sometimes when babies play with their parents and sometimes give them headbutts or smack them in the face. That said I've met plenty Aries men who love to wound (remember that the Aries is the warrior). Other then opened my mouth too much, I too love fighting and sometimes say things that can be found offensive by others in those situations too. Intentionally and otherwise. I'm working on it :-)

The real issue here is that this girl hangs her self esteem on what the guy says. The only person who can be responsible for keeping her self esteem up is her. Otherwise she's just gifting her power and it's not a question of aries/taurus/cancer because if an unkind word from outside changes her view of herself then anyone can do that. It's also completely up to her to set boundaries and make sure they're respected. If he's rude and she says stop and he keeps it up - it's up to her to change her behavior (not his) and then let him decide if he wants to change or not. I've been through this whole stuff myself and unless you're owning your esteem and your boundaries there's nothing astrology can ever do to make you feel better.

sorry for the sermon - but i've been there too.

Sorry, misquote.

This is a great post, very insightful! 🙂