Advice/Moral Support

*Grabs some Cider*

Okay, I'm going to try and condense my story as much as possible so not to make this a novella.

So, three years ago I met this Scorpio, we met on a site, no big deal. At first it was definitely just a sex thing. Then, we started hanging out a little bit on a friend level too. Being the Virgal that I am, I didn't open too much as far as emotions are concerned but I did grow to like him. The sex thing went on for about 6 months before anything serious happened, but then I was going through some things regarding finding my biological father. He was extremely interested in how I felt about that among other things and really just became my rock. Actually, that was the first time I ever became emotional with him. Then, we became friends with benefits.

When my dad died (whom I met in the hospital for the first time the day before), he was the only person that was able to pull me out of my depression, out of my head, and out of blaming myself. We became really close fwb. My dad dies on Nov 7th, and Scorpios birthday is November 11th. A few months before that I remember him mentioning some "psycho" Aquarius who has ruined his relationships with other girls in the past, by e-mailing them and the whole bit...(I obviously assumed he has ditched her)...fast forward now to his birthday, after my dad dies on the 7th, to his birthday the 11th.

BAM. That exact girl is there.

He told me I should invite a couple of my friends (ones he met at my birthday the September earlier), so I did... I had this feeling right away when he shows up, walking out of the cab with three girls hovered around him. (I'm thinking who is this fucking guy, Hugh Hefner?) No one introduces themselves (I'm shy at first so I don't either), and he makes no point to tell me who any of them are, but I just now immediately (my intuition tells me), she is in fact one of those girls. Well, I was right...she was. I should mention that at that particular time in my life I was definitely quiet and reserved to a certain degree. So, I said absolutely nothing to her the whole night...forward to the end of the night...she corners me at the bar while he is paying the tab..

Aquarius: Why are you even here? You shouldn't be here. He doesn't love you. I don't know why you torture yourself like this. You do not love ________

Cont:

And On and On...and I'm thinking WTF? Who does this bitch think she is). My friends and I end up leaving and he takes crazy girl home...and apparently has to fight with her to get her in her house. (Scorpio men just loooooove crazy chicks)


So, this is the girl i'm dealing with for not 1 not 2 but 3 years. So, that was the first year, and before any of that birthday thing even happened she took my phone number out of his phone and started texting me...the best text being right after my dad died saying "You're a Bumpkin...do you know that means? You're a bastard Child. And you can go right to hell with your Father."

Now THAT is something I couldn't handle given the whole situation with my father. Which is grounds for me to hate her forever.

She's done everything from that, to making keys to his place and showing up when I was sleeping over, to e-mailing...you name it. Fast forward again to a year later. He tells me (expecting me to be thrilled), that he thinks he has feelings for her. (and I'm thinking WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU THINK YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR HER?)

Of course he ends up dating her, breaking up, dating, breaking up for the past 3 years. All the while I'm put in the "best friend" box. She'll disappear for a year, and come back, and he'll wonder why I'm so pissed when he ends up dating her. All the while, I'm his best friend...he expects me to go out and hang out with him and his married (oldest and very best friends). He wants me to meet his college friends...and then keeps taking her back ever 6 mos to a year.

He's grown a bit since the beginning for sure, but recently (2 months ago) she calls him and says she's moving to NYC. Now, I should mention he and I also dated, last year for the first time since our friendship...or whatever it is. He ends up talking to her, and I tell him, Look I want to meet up with this girl one more time and just tell her it wasn't okay for her to speak to me that way...I want to make peace with it. He asks me if he can bring her out dancing (with me and my friends), and I say sure..

She comes out, and the whole time he's just following ME around. Doesn't even really hang out with her, IM the one who's asking "Where is ____Aquarius?" "Is Aquarius having fun?" he says he doesn't know where she is...out smoking...he doesn't know. Fast forward to end of the night (I'm drunk, it's a gay club, who cares right? LETS DANCE)

I guess they want to leave...so he proceeds after following me around a

all night to whisper in my ear and tell me "_______, don't go home with any of those guys, they only want one thing. Are you sure you don't want to just leave with us?" and then tells my friends to make sure I don't go home with those guys.

Let me just say... I WOULD NEVER GO HOME WITH SOMEONE I MET IN A BAR!!!!

They Leave. And for the next week, I deal with him...not being around...(we hang out at least 3-4 times a week normally)
Now, I don't really hear from him except once a week or something. OF COURSE!

A month before she comes into the picture again he had invited me to disney world (he was going on a business trip and he knew I always wanted to go to disney). I told him I couldn't go, I couldn't afford it cause a friend was visiting from san francisco and I had to save money to go on a float trip with her. He tries and tries and tries to convince me to ditch my friend and I won't do it. So, I guess as punishment he decides he will invite Aquarius to go (because after much thought he decides he NEEDS to go on the work trip).

We're on a crowded highway on our way to dinner when he decides to tell me he is in fact going to disney, and since I didn't go on the float trip anyway would I like to go now... and I can see in his eyes that he's hiding something from me. I ask "Why...is someone else going with you?? Is that why you're asking me?" and he turns his head and says "Not on those days when you're going."

I'm not even going to lie. I wanted to FUCKING KILL HIM. I freaked out. We went to dinner, I ate/he ate, I stared off and he tried to talk to me and I said nothing the whole time. He dropped me off outside my house (because I refused to go to his after even though he tried to sway me). I exploded on him. I literally fucking lit into him about it, and he said I didn't have a right to be mad...So, he left.

Two weeks later (a few days before he leaves for disney), we are supposed to hang out but I cancel. He goes to disney, and recently last week comes back.

While he was away, I went to UPS, and simply sent all his stuff back to him. Every picture, every gift, this art he got me the last time I wouldn't speak to him. (only a month)
When he gets back I don't hear from him for another week, and yesterday he leaves a voicemail... it was REALLY sad and depressing, but he even mentions he still doesn't think I have a right to be mad because "he tried and tried to get me to go and I made every excuse why I couldnt..."

So...

I sent him this e-mail, and I want advice on what to do/if the e-mail sound reasonable. (keep in mind he is 35)
E-mail:

I wasn't going to respond at all, but that is simply not the way I'm wired...So.

I appreciate your call but I won't be hanging out with you until you start learning how to be respectful to other people. Especially to me and other women. It's simple really. I feel that in the past 3 years you've disrespected me tremendously and taken me for granted. I understand you don't feel like you have, but it's true. And maybe you were more respectful to me than to other women/people, but that simply doesn't count.
I demand a level of respect from other people, including you, that you have failed to give me. So for a long time, I've had you in my life and lowered the amount of respect I expect to receive for myself. All just to have you in my life. Which I will never do again. I shouldn't have allowed it to begin with, but that's irrelevant. Especially since you are a grown man, and know how you should treat other people. I'm not your parent. So, I will not take all of the blame.
Do I miss you? Absolutely. Does that mean I'm going to come running back to you now that we've semi spoken? No.
I'm simply speaking my mind (and heart), which I will not allow to be broken any more because of your selfishness. You say that you don't think I have a right to be mad?
Well, I think you know exactly why I'm mad. It's not rocket science. No. I don't want to be invited to some sort of "polygamist" vacation with you and Aquarius. You disrespect me by even inviting me to come when you know she's coming a couple of days later. How dare you treat me with such a lack of respect, Scorpio. I expect ALOT more from you.
I deserve a lot more than your blatant lack of respect.
It is a great big slap in the face whether it comes from a friend or a lover. When I was trying to be civil, nice, and the bigger person even allowing her to socialize with me because I know she means something to you. It doesn't mean I really give a shit about the girl. It just shows how much I love you, but a little is never enough. You want everything. You want to have "the proverbial cake and to eat it too". Which I don't blame you, if you can get it, but I refuse to be a part of it, I want more for my life than to be a part of someone else's big ass cake.

I love you, Scorpio, with my whole entire heart, I really do.

But, I love myself enough, to walk away when I have to.

...and you choose to be involved in this drama because why?

Words are meaningless, actions are everything. He wont believe what you say, just what you do.

So make your actions match those words....cus he aint gonna change.

"Aquarius: Why are you even here? You shouldn't be here. He doesn't love you. I don't know why you torture yourself like this. You do not love ________

I don't think he wants the Aqua chick at all, in fact, I think he brings her around and keeps her around in hopes that you will show some possessiveness and say "Leave her and be with me!"

On the other hand...

I fear I'm missing the part(s) where he's shown you such a lack of respect. He invited YOU to Disney first knowing you "always wanted to go to disney" (AWWWWWW!!!) You declined due to previous plans (commendable on your part). He invites Aqua girl. Your plans fall through and he invites you again on Aqua's "off" days. Your response is "to explode on him" and you "literally fucking lit into him". Why? When did you two become exclusive? When did you give him an ultimatum "It's either her or me"? Was that before or after you told him to invite her out because YOU wanted to meet up with her to let her know it wasn't OK for her to speak to you like that?

To me it's obvious he wants you as more than FWB.

I don't think she ever really disappeared from this guys life, being that I'm an Aquarius and love love my friends I'd never disappear for good, I'm always there for them.

Thanks for clarifying your relationship with him but I have a question. When you said "we are serious" what exactly does that mean? Did he actually tell you he was going to be monogamous with you, not date anyone else? It's important that you both agreed to be exclusive and it's not just an assumption.

@he made it sound that way.

Well if you did not receive clarification from him that he was not sleeping with her then you assumed wrong, no one comes to you and says he doesn't like you unless she has some kind of agenda, the mere fact that you were a threat to her should have set off your internal alarm that you and her had something in common...mainly sex with him.

I love Mimi's take on FWB relationships. When it comes to "Friends With Benefits," it's "Game Over. You Lose!"

Men hear "friends with benefits" and to them, that means sex without her crying about anything! Women hear "friends with benefits" and they think that means sex with emotional benefits...

When HE said "friends with benefits," crying on his shoulder was not the benefit he had in mind. Men who want to be your FWB are ALREADY telling you that they want LIMITS on getting close. A woman may be focusing on the FRIEND part as in, "He's my New Best Friend!!"

A man is focusing on the BENEFIT part. The "Friend" part means, "What a relief, she's not officially my Girlfriend, so I don't owe her anything...." which explains why he's saying you have no right to feel angry.

*damn typos!

Oy Vey.

She said some real shitty things to you, why hold it against him?
From the very first time you met her you should have seen her for what she is: an immature child who quite obviously felt threatened by your mere existence. And then dismissed her.

You can't control anyone else but yourself. Neither can he. Don't hold him accountable for HER actions. Hold HER accountable.

Posted by ellessque
you focus more on her than him.

Definitely.

"other women being her) The difference is, him and I have a real relationship...and he just likes fucking her."

And you believe that? You might wanna rethink that.

"If anything I feel more bad for her. The problem is, she made the mistake of being a heinos bitch to me, when I truly came into the situation innocently. She did NOT have to bring my personal shit out on me with me dad just because she hated me for coming along (not knowing what he was doing to her too). Yes, we were official, as in we dated officially."

He's the blame for her getting your number, he's the blame for allowing this to go on, you both are triangulating yourselves around him and he's getting the REWARD, the reward is more love,more sex, more attention, more affection, more more more. He is experiencing his masculinity--dominating 2 women through you both and that's a huge reward, this has got to be very fun for him.

She's not the enemy nor is she the problem, HE IS. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer..

Posted by OProserpina
atsirk, what is your sun? you sound just like him. haha.

My sun's in Gemini but my moon's in Scorpio

You believe he didn't like her back. If you believe that then you are mistaken, oh he liked her back and that's why he's with her, spending time with her, letting her look through his phone, she's the perfect cheerleader. Immature Aqua's can act crazy as all hell, don't react to her nasty words, don't let her see you sweat, strength magnetizes and dominates an Aqua, let it all roll off your back and she'll respect you for it, become your cheerleader and you'll gain an ally, he'll lose interest in her once that happens, this coming from me the Aquarius Cusper.

...am I the only one who doesn't see what the big deal is? :/

I don't understand why she got so mad about Disney.

I don't get how he supposedly disrespected her.

She got into a FWB and got involved with some crazy friend of his.

...and?

OMG!!! How the hell did you do it for 3 years!!! Where is that Aries rising when you need her? I would've had to "see" her about that text if you know what I mean. Him? Oh hell no...he's a lying, manipulating little fucker. He doesn't take you seriously & calls your bluff. Time to toughen up hun. It's hard but you MUST.

Posted by OProserpina
Hahahahahahaha.

Yep, that's exactly what happened, and now you can go back to sleep.

Laugh all you want, but you were the one who was too stupid to see the blatant red flags from the very beginning and continued to tolerate his shit for THREE YEARS. This is why I'm so wtf and not understanding what the big deal is. How it ended was easily foreseen and could have been avoided had you not been hypnotized by his dick.

If I got into a casual thing like that and some crazy ho started acting like that around me, I would have been gone in a heartbeat. That shit just isn't cool and you should consider yourself lucky you had such an obvious red flag from the beginning. Not all women get that. His talking crap about her and then her talking crap about him would have been the tell all red flag. Guys like that are not casual material, let alone relationship material. They obviously have crap in their life to work out.

After that, it was all on you for sticking around. This is why I don't get why you got so pissy about Disney and are so pissy about how he behaved after. If you play with fire around something that's tagged as flammable and you get burned, you have nobody but to blame but yourself, you know?

Not excusing his behavior- he's a total ass, but your sticking around doesn't make you look any better.

Consider this a lesson learned and know what to avoid next time. I sympathize for you that you were treated that way and that you had to deal with such bullshit, but I really don't sympathize the fact that you stuck around despite the obvious signs so very early on.

Props for sending his crap back the way you did though. Nothing beats handing a jerk's ass back to him.

i think he's made a mug out of you over the last 3 years and you seem to enjoy it! personally, anything smacking remotely of 'love triangle' would put me off. he sounds like a complete prick tbh.

So the girl asks for moral support becaused she obviously is feeling bad about an emotional situation and some people say she is stupid and dumb? People never cease to amaze me...

You have trouble leaving people even when obviously they are bad for you. This might be because you never had guidance/ relantionship with your dad and never learned that some behaviors are not ok, specially when thye make you feel so down. Due to your dad absence from your life (I am guessing maybe you didnt had a stepdad to fill this role?) you are probably lost in how to make healthy connections with others. It really doesn't matter what type of label your relantionship has, it is not moral judgement. Some people stay with others all their lifes and they don't get married. But the fact that someone is just dating around to me means that he is not putting any effort in making the relationship work. It doesn't mean to me you are dumb, it just means you have problems with knowing your worth. And thus you are getting your self worth from this relationship and unfortunately this is not a good one. A good relationship is one (regardless of titles) where you feel secure and accepted. He can't make you happy and you stay with him out of your loyalty because that is what you think is love. That is what you craved as a child and the way you treat this person is way noble of you. But you are giving your love to someone that doesn't understand it. Bring all that love back to you, understand that it is ok to leave a bad relantionship and forgive yourself. We all make mistakes. Knowing that you are worth loving and believing are tow different things. If your father is dead, you will never get any acceptance from him nor love for who you are. But you can get it from a loving husband, your children when you ahve them. So until then listen to your inner voice saying whatever defenses you built to cope with life disappointments when you were a defenseless child was ok, but now thei aren't working anymore. Being with emotional unavailable men is a way of protecting yourself from hurt and painful feelings, but
as you have started noticing it doesn't work. It brings pain as well. You need to connect and form healthy relationships with people that do want the same thing.
Best of luck honey

Sounds like this guy needs his ego stroked, and what a better way to have your ego stroked by someone completely jealous and crazy? In a twisted unevolved scorpio mindset it is probably flattering that someone would go to these lengths to claim him as "her's". You can't give him what he wants and keep him interested if you try and have a mature adult relationship. You'd need to lower yourself and give in to that stupid, stupid drama and you sound too smart for that. He's 35 years old and won't change, I can guarantee it.

As usuall, EEE is brief and to the point. Wise words.

Id ask "Why did YOU endure this all these years?"...what have you gotten out of it?

Ok the first thing I read on here is ADVICE/MORAL Support... Not tell me how my decisions are fucked up, clearly she knows she made some bad decisions shes a Virgo all she does is sit and think about the things she does, Analyzes her imperfections, and contemplates ways she can fix all of her flaws.

The guy - well I think that when you were FWB that was embedded in his head and regardless of the relationship he figured since you put up with it before you would continue to do so regardless of what your words say and by you not leaving him alone that gave him the "Okay" to continue to treat you bad. Once again this goes back to "A Man/Woman is ONLY going to do what you allow them too"

The Girl - Only because I am a witness, Aquarius' are aloof and detached and more than likely that is what keeps him going back to her, the chase, they probably have intense sex but more than likely thats all it is unfortunately intense sex can confuse a Scorpio and the craziness is a turn on to him so that may be why he keeps her around, or he may just be an unfaithful douchebag and his mental state is fucked up.


To you - You have taken a CHUNK of your life and basically put it down a garbage disposal. My dear Oproserpina, You remind me a lot of myself as I am too a Virgal and I am 28. I have had my "toxic man" and thats exactly what he is. He is toxic, he is only hurting you. Lust can be confused for love, and it is a SEVERE addiction that can mentally and physicaly destroy someone. As much as it may pain you to do it, you have got to get your life back. Do not waste another second on this man who clearly does not care about you. I have no idea if you are going to take my advice, but I will pray non-stop that you do, stop contact, COMPLETELY. I lost my father at 16, because of that I have a serious fear of loss and I think thats the case with you as well. Just know this, when you let go of something that is toxic in your life you aren't losing you are gaining, gaining a space for something better and thats really what you deserve. This is the honest truth, you are a pretty woman and it seems like you have a big heart, There are GOOD guys out there and if you just be a little more cautious, DO NOT accept FWB, and have a man wait on you... you will see that all the things you have gone through with these Toxic men were to just apart of gaining strength and showing you how to be grateful for the guy who is coming you way. IF YOU LET GO OF THE TOXIC ONE!

I find it quite comical that you spew off at the mouth about his lack of respect ... while your actions = sleeping with him while he was in a relationship with Aqua.

Opros, Learn this, and learn it quick. It doesn't matter what you do you can not change or fix someone they have to do it for themselves so you sticking around so he will learn isn't going to change a dang thing. You are just wasting more of your time you could be spending on someone who isn't going to use you. You are a fixer/helper but some people are just broken and cant be fixed.
Trust me, Cut your losses, you will be winning not losing by losing him.

P-Angel, I find it funny that you assume things and post about shit that doesn't even apply to people -- always trying to stir someone up, get them riled up because you are miserable. You have such a narrow mind. Like I have told you before read thoroughly before you post your psycho babble.

Posted by OProserpina
Hahahahahahaha.

Yep, that's exactly what happened, and now you can go back to sleep.

For those of you who can't read and failed to see this part.

You don't enable bad behavior like this by jumping to her defense. If someone asks a question, trying to understand wtf is going on in the mess that they created for themselves, the correct answer is not snarkiness.

Silly me, I forget we have coddlers on this forum.

Also, I don't care if you're a Virgo or what your deal is. Going around trying to "fix" someone, especially a guy in his mid 30s, is just asking for trouble. Do yourself a favor and break out of this mindset. All too often, women try this bullshit and all they do is get burnt in the process. Screwing yourself over for the sake of some jack ass isn't smart.

There's no problem in trying to help others. But when you see the crazy up front, you just gotta walk away for your own well being. In the long run, it's not fair to you to be sucked into their bullshit.

Also, aren't Virgos supposed to be all logical or some bs? If so, use it. It sure wasn't in this scenario. :/

Posted by GodMadeBeauty


P-Angel, I find it funny that you assume things and post about shit that doesn't even apply to people -- always trying to stir someone up, get them riled up because you are miserable. You have such a narrow mind. Like I have told you before read thoroughly before you post your psycho babble.

Agreed. I'm not understanding where it was obvious in the beginning that this chick was his relationship. Fuck buddy, yes. But not relationship. For someone who seems to preach about the cons of fwb, she sure as hell missed the obvious signs in this one.

I think she was too busy twisting things around again.

Posted by OProserpina

Who does this bitch think she is.

She thinks that she is exactly who she is .... a woman important to him. Important enough for him to want to be with in a relationship.

Posted by OProserpina

She's done everything from that, to making keys to his place

oh look, he gave her a key to his place. Bet you don't have one.

Posted by OProserpina

He tells me (expecting me to be thrilled), that he thinks he has feelings for her.

click to expand

Oh, look where his feelings are.

Oh, look, he doesn't give a rats ass about how feel .. infact, why aren't you thrilled for him and her?


Bet that makes your knickers fall to the ground .... yes, it does. Because while she has a key to his place, in order to make a new key .. you, the whore, is still in his bed.


I'm not sure what is funnier .... you, or the stupids who enable you

Posted by OProserpina


She's done everything from that, to making keys to his place and showing up when I was sleeping over.

I missed this. WHAT!!!!!—? Homegirl had a key to his house & you were there? What in the fuckety fuck? I'm sorry hun but "just sex" doesn't get you a set of keys. Sounds like he was in a relationship with her. She's crazy but like someone mentioned here, he's addicted to the attention she shows him. She sounds like she has alot of passion & that may drive him nuts. *shrugs* Only saying that out of experience. I've been pretty "psycho" myself & the person kept coming back to me (sick, I know) but it was totally unhealthy for both of us & we had to part ways. I know you've had issues with your father & everything but there is no way in HELL you should tolerate this blatant disrespect & total lack of care/concern.

I don't know you personally & forgive me if I'm jumping the gun, but do you think you have developed some ways like your mom? I've read in another thread that you mentioned she went through alot with your dad & you witnessed her hurt. I believe you may have been mislead on how to be treated in a relationship with a man. I could be wrong but the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Cut contact totally from him. EVERYTHING. Don't just say it. DO IT. Re-evaluate yourself & realize that you're a great person & that asswhole NEVER deserved you. Like I said before, you have to toughen up. Everyone is not going to be so accepting of your big heart.

P-Angel, you are clearly miserable but then again I would be too if i was in a 40 year marriage with no knowledge of dating and reality. You've been in the same robotic relationship for all these years and have to use lifetime movies to misconstrue peoples issues in relationships. Go to counseling or church you sullen poor excuse for a woman. Your assumptions and outrageous misconceptions of peoples NORMAL relationship issues is typical for an attention craving w... that you are. Your twisted little mind goes crazy thinking of ways to make a situation more than what it is. You will take one sentence and twist it to fit your demented mind so that you can believe peoples lives are as miserable as yours is. Your Virgo probably runs all over you and you feel the need to come on DXP to make people feel like butter because you are a naive simple cookiemonster at home. Get a hobby or a new husband and stop harassing people on DXP.


RealTalk, She basically said shes done a lot crazy shit to blah blah and she even MADE a key... Which means she took the dudes keys and made a key. Which is typical of a psycho chick. Of course PAngel twisted the words to make OPros look bad.

Posted by OProserpina

.... three years ago I met this Scorpio, we met on a site...

.... At first it was definitely just a sex thing.

.... The sex thing went on for about 6 months before anything serious happened

.... Then, we became friends with benefits.

.... We became really close fwb.

Posted by OProserpina

Of course he ends up dating her, breaking up, dating, breaking up for the past 3 years.

click to expand

According to your first post, you met him 3 years ago .. according to your second post, he's been dating her for 3 years.

All the while, while you know he has this Aqua girlfriend .. you lay in his bed.

Fucking two-bit whore

P-Angel, are you a fucking retard? Seriously. Do you read or do you just pick and choose what you want to show. You really are sad.

Maybe you suffer from dementia or something.

She met him 3 years ago, the Aqua and him have been dating OFF AND ON for 3 years meaning they werent together at times during the 3 years. Once again here you go making a mountain out of a molehill. She also stated that she wanted to be FWB at the time, you imbecile.

This bitch^^^. AGAIN...fuckery coming from a dead fish. At least she didn't allow him to beat her ass like you did with your Gemini ex. Stop throwing stones, your glass house has been crushed along time ago pisces. How the hell are you going to pass judgement on her like that? Is the marriage to your VIRGO skipping in the field of daisies? I didn't think so...

:::shakes head:::

That was directed at Ms. GutterRat.

LOL @ us thinking the same thing.
I'll be damned if I am going to sit here while this old lady makes up false accusations and tries to be little people who clearly need advice and are already hurting.

I may be a B.. but its only to people who deserve it.

Posted by GodMadeBeauty


RealTalk, She basically said shes done a lot crazy shit to blah blah and she even MADE a key... Which means she took the dudes keys and made a key. Which is typical of a psycho chick. Of course PAngel twisted the words to make OPros look bad.

Damn...I've been psycho, but never to that extent, geeeze. But anywho IDK, that just doesn't sound right to me. Why did he even allow her access to his keys? Or even allow her to come in & open the damn door with the key for that matter, & not say anything? That would mean he couldn't get into his own house if she took them. I'm thinking that's just a lie he told her. That she "took" the keys & MADE a key. He didn't seem to have much concern about it, unless there is more to the story & he totally flipped out. If not I believe he's lying & "gave" her a key.

Posted by RealTalk
Damn...I've been psycho, but never to that extent, geeeze. But anywho IDK, that just doesn't sound right to me. Why did he even allow her access to his keys? Or even allow her to come in & open the damn door with the key for that matter, & not say anything? That would mean he couldn't get into his own house if she took them. I'm thinking that's just a lie he told her. That she "took" the keys & MADE a key. He didn't seem to have much concern about it, unless there is more to the story & he totally flipped out. If not I believe he's lying & "gave" her a key.

The only reason why it sounds right to me is because I have seen someone do it actually twice! An AQUAINTENCE not friend of mine was sleeping with a guy, and she thought he was sleeping with other people of course so she said she was going to run to the store and made a copy. My ex did it to me, he took my keys right out of my purse and went to the UPS store and made a copy of EVERYTHING not just the house key. I had a police report & everything, but they said since he had a key and stuff at my house they wouldn't charge him. It's really flipping psycho but its possible. I dont know if thats the case in this scenario but it may just be a lie he told her. Either way the fact that she wants something more than just FWB says, she needs to let this guy go. The past is the past God put eyes in the front of our face to look forward instead of back, so she needs to do that. I guess we all make mistakes, make downright absurd decisions, but we are human... Learn and let go.

Sheeeeesh!!!! That's some fatal attraction ish right there...WHOA. Could be, but damn...He should've flipped out behind that & never talked to her again, but he was still involved with her. That's why I'm kinda iffy. *shrugs*.

Who knows, either way I'd get FAR FAR away from him and her.

If I had two dumasses stringing along for 3 years I would have them cooking and cleaning and raising my stock. The fact is you realized you were a dumbass which is good so it's your pick of email or no email. BTW 3 years from today in your recovery I never hope to here of this again. Manipulations and games are fun but it will land you directly back on this board. Good luck.

For the flexible record I agree with.

P-Ankle
Elle
EllyB
Evere

Basically all the Es.

-Eats a purple Skittle-

Posted by OProserpina

At the beginning (when I first met him), I absolutely believed her too. He was a fucking dick, and we became friends along the lines, and I knew exactly what was going on. Actually, I stick up for her to him as well. She essentially has always wanted the same from him as I do. (which is why in my e-mail I reference me "and other women". other women being her) The difference is, him and I have a real relationship...and he just likes fucking her. If anything I feel more bad for her. The problem is, she made the mistake of being a heinos bitch to me, when I truly came into the situation innocently. She did NOT have to bring my personal shit out on me with me dad just because she hated me for coming along (not knowing what he was doing to her too). Yes, we were official, as in we dated officially.

Key phrases from above:

... at the beginning

... I knew exactly what was going on

... she essentially has always wanted the same from him as I do

Posted by OProserpina

So, this is the girl i'm dealing with for not 1 not 2 but 3 years. So, that was the first year,


.... and showing up when I was sleeping over

You can lie and say she wasn't there in the beginning, eventhough I've already quoted 2 instances from your own words that stated she's been present for 3 years, while in the opening sentence you say this has been going on for 3 years, and any person who can count to 3 gets that she has been present since day one.

However, the exact day she comes along is irrelevant ... what is relevant is that at some point you realize she is there, and you still lay in his bed.

that makes you a whore

Now, you can get pissed off all you want to ... doesn't change the fact that you're a whore.

Posted by OProserpina

Obviously, I know that I was stupid in the beginning.

Posted by OProserpina

One thing not mentioned by anyone is a VIrgo's tendency to try and "fix" people. I think in the beginning I wanted to be the one to change his ways.

... we had a real friendship, which I honestly cared about just as much as anything else. I didn't want to lose that, but I also didn't want to deal with her.

I DID do my own dating in between. As the years progressed again though, If I had a man he reared his ugly head about it, and became fixated on breaking it up.

I'm not really one to walk away from a challenge to fix a problem. Call it a warped way of thinking, but I feel that if you just "walk away" from people that need to grow the fuck up like him...they never learn.

click to expand

If your new tongue now says that she wasn't around in the beginning and in the beginning you and him were awesomely great friends .. then why would you say that you knew you were stupid in the beginning?

Oh yes, we get to the next phrase where you stated ..... you didn't want to lose a real friendship with him, but, you also didn't want to deal with her. which means = she was always there.


Then when people come in and call you out on your bullshit you change your story and try to say you only felt compelled to fix him because you're a Virgo.

However ..... in your defense to me you've already fully stated (your lie) and said that she wasn't there in beginning, and that you and him were great friends.

Tell me then ... what part of great friends were you intended to fix?

Instead of being real here, you come up with another lie.

Try being real.


You want to throw around the Virgos wonderful attributes ... only problem is that you don't possess them.


You're a liar and a bullshitter.


If you want people to take you seriously then speak the truth of it ... say what really happened, and don't put blame on anyone except yourself.


You fell for a taken man, and attempted to win him over by using your kitty. When you failed (as a woman always will), you then tried to throw it back in his face and make him feel guilty for not falling love with you, which is what you were trying to accomplish. And now, you're heart and mind are stuck in a checkmate and you don't know how to handle it.


If you had come in here and said something like that ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ then you would have recieved support. Instead, you came in here with bullshit. I guess because you can't handle the truth.

PAngel stop acting holier than thou. She is fully aware of the fact she accepted FWB, and she also is fully aware of the fact he had another. Who gives a FUCK? She's not saying shes sleeping with multiple men so who the fuck are you to call someone a wh.....o.....re do you even know the definition? It's a prostitute someone who has sex for money. Shes not a whore you retarded old lady. I mean shit the word was used a lot back in your day you should know what it means.
PAngel, Like Real said your ex beat the hell out of you and you stayed so who are you to point fingers? You are a bruised battered miserable old woman,
and Opros, she has a sag rising and merc in aquarius, so thats why she tries to hurt people and has an opinion about everything, has low self worth and is an emotional basketcase inside, so just ignore her old ass.
She was in an abusive relationship and clearly has pent up aggression that she chooses to take out on others instead of the man who beat the hell out of her.

Of course you would agree with PAngel Article when she makes shit up and twists stories around. Dick rider.

Posted by GodMadeBeauty
Of course you would agree with PAngel Article.

Yip my terms on agreeing equal a person who said something of sense. I usually 1+ them and such rarely do I go back and disagree even if my views have changed I just leave it. As far as switching up the story I don't see to much of that I guess I'll go back to read to see if my right is wrong and your wrong is right. As far as dick/pussy riding I am a pro at it my version of it states itself in the first sentence and second sentence of this post. BTW if you post something I find smart I'll dick ride you to unless you actually have a pussy.

Definitely life is full of fucked up situations for instance I have this amazing cramp that keeps setting in. I don't know if it's the chair or my back. Or maybe one is manipulating the other. It's been 2 days and I keep going back to this same chair. Now either I like it or I can't find anything better. This is called complaining about nothing.

Interesting thoughts lady's and gentlemen here's mines.

There are dumbass.
There are smart asses.

The choice between the two gives you two cars to be in control of one is pain one is pleasure. A mixture of both is already known but which in the end gravitates you.