Can I break the silence and earn his forgiveness?

Within a span of 3 weeks. 3 family members have died of covid and my mom is going blind in one eye which is causing her to have strong depression. I’ve been staying strong being the oldest of all my siblings. But I recently had a breakdown. It was bad. Lashing out on everyone crying one minute angry the next. After seeing a pic of one of the family members who passed away I snapped, I was so close to her. And seeing my mother cry cause of her eyesight made it worse. I lashed out on him the day after we had sex. Blowing up his phone mad cause he didn’t respond to a text I sent hours ago. I’ve been Begging for his forgiveness. He hasn’t responded to any of it. I feel so bad. I’m getting grief counseling from my university tomorrow. And even though we were casual he’s really been a nice person and loved hanging out with me and enjoyed having sex with me a lot, we were becoming friends.I hate to burn bridges. I would at least like to be his friend. But how can I earn his forgiveness and trust? I wasn’t actually even mad at him. My emotions have been horrible. I was holding it all in. I even bought sorry gifts to be sent to his place cause I feel so horrible. We’ve always gotten along and I’ve never been like this before. I’ve just been crying or getting angry a lot. And I feel so bad and guilty that I haven’t been able to sleep.

When I called once he blocked my call but my iMessages aren’t blocked. Honestly I wanted to explain myself and sincerely apologize. We were becoming close. I never told him all the stuff I was going through

That's your own fault for not explaining your situation with him, and sounds like you have not emotionally matured yet.

Even if you're uncomfortable with telling your story to him, at least give him a heads-up that you're not in a good mood and have IRL incidents that came up? He's not a mind reader.

Also, are you the Scorpio or him?

Posted by GemiAwesomeAss

I don’t understand why everyone is labeling Scorpios as asshole SPECIALLY in this situarion where Phsycho gf is getting off on him without any reason (because he doesn’t know her struggle)...

Are you blind? Read the discussion. Nobody here's trying to justify her behavior, except for PhoenixStorm maybe.

Posted by GemiAwesomeAss

Posted by Cancer96

Posted by GemiAwesomeAss

I don’t understand why everyone is labeling Scorpios as asshole SPECIALLY in this situarion where Phsycho gf is getting off on him without any reason (because he doesn’t know her struggle)...

Are you blind? Read the discussion. Nobody here's trying to justify her behavior, except for PhoenixStorm maybe.

Open YOUR eyes! Where have I said anybody justifying HER behavior?

click to expand

Sorry, let me clarify: You are assuming that he is the Scorpio, then exploded in this discussion about 'everyone' labeling him the a $ $ hole. Only Phoenix storm said that.

OP didn't even specify who is the Scorpio in this situation either.

Does he know you lost 3 family members and your mother is going to be blind on one eye? It is understandable that you

act out of line in such a traumatic circumstances. He should shrug off your behavior and support you. Maybe he`ll change

his mind if you open up and let him see the amount of pain and stress you are feeling. If that doesn`t change his attitude you know you can`t count on him when the shit hits the fan.

Posted by PhoenixStorm

There’s a difference between empathizing with someone and justifying.

So you decide to justify hers or his own behavior by calling out the Scorpio guy as being (maybe) an a $ $ hole based on this post ...

Posted by PhoenixStorm

The one thing about scorpios, we might be assholes and might ice you out for the slightest thing, but we are extremely forgiving. [...] Scorpios can be assholes but we do have heart.

Gonna have to agree with Gemi here, that isn't cool. I have Scorpio friends and relatives of my own, and none of them are remotely close to being as a $ $ holes.

The Scorpios ik tend to be vengeful tho, if you do them wrong.

Posted by PhoenixStorm

She posted the same thread under Scorpio men forum.

He is the scorpio.

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Thanks for the update.

Stop hooking up, dating new guys and taking your anger on others.

Focus on yourself and your grief before dealing with anything or anyone else...

Is he your bf or a fwb?

If the first he should be understanding of the situation, accept your apology, and be there for you while you grieve.

If the second, this is a bit more then what he agreed to, to shoulder your grief when he's just in it for the sex.

Either way stop with the constant apologies. Let him know your situation and then stop blowing up his phone and start to process you grief instead of distracting yourself with this drama.

Posted by PhoenixStorm

So you’ve never lashed out at a loved one or said/done something that you regret?

I did, and that was when I was like 20 y/o.

You are a cancer. I KNOW you know all about mood swings. Lol 🤨 C’mon now!

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I don't get moodswings, and haven't had the last one in years. Period.

It's as simple as telling someone, "Hey I may be in a bad mood because of XYZ so just a heads up" so they know.

Though, ik what you mean about Cancers. I've meet some who will spazz out and are constantly leaving/rejoining group chats on Social media because they get offended by the smallest things. Granted, they seem like the immature/undeveloped Cancers types.

Maybe it's because of my Leo moon, my Gemini-Cancer CUSP, or what-have-you. Astrology gets really complicated, to the point where idek what I'm reading lol.

Girl, all you can do is apologize and try to explain yourself. You don’t have to do this more than once for an understanding person. If he doesn’t get it, he doesn’t get it. Not everyone has experienced that kind of grief so they wouldn’t understand where you’re coming from. Best thing for you to do is accept your feelings as they come and forgive yourself for any poor behavior. It’s to be expected though when experiencing all that lost. Everyone grieves differently and you have to give yourself time to collect yourself.

A relationship is probably not the best thing at this time anyway. Sure it’s a good distraction, but it can also distract you from doing the healing you are needing. This is a huge transition in your life so try to stay grounded. Counseling is great and I think that’s the best thing you can do for yourself at this time. Be sure that you are able to say your goodbyes to those who have passed on, but also do what you need to to stay connected to them. They are still with you, you just have a different relationship with them now—more in spirit and in memories.

You are going to be okay. If this dudes worth anything, he will understand. If he doesn’t, he doesn’t need to be a part of your life right now. You need a lot of understanding and acceptance right now, so make sure you are seeking it in the right people. I’m so sorry for your loss. Just know eventually it will get easier but you will have to give it time and put in the work to get past it. It’s okay to not be okay sometimes, if there were any time like that it’s now.

Just realize you only have control over one thing in this life and that is yourself. Do what you can to reconnect with yourself and your soul right now and that can help you to control any unnecessary outbursts. Shit happens though so forgive yourself for these small past ones and move on from them. Tomorrow is another day and one day at a time it gets better. Your support group, your family, friends and counselor, will be your saving grace right now so do what you can to strengthen the good relationships you still have here with you. Best wishes, dear.

Posted by Cancer96

That's your own fault for not explaining your situation with him, and sounds like you have not emotionally matured yet.

Even if you're uncomfortable with telling your story to him, at least give him a heads-up that you're not in a good mood and have IRL incidents that came up? He's not a mind reader.

Also, are you the Scorpio or him?

I posted an update. I have never behaved this way before in my life, I’ve always been the level headed nice person. The deaths hit me really hard, I couldn’t go to the funeral cause of covid, also I couldn’t afford to fly out of state to see them. I was barely sleeping or eating and I was very irritable and emotional. I was going to tell him but I’ve been through a lot of bad stuff in my life and I thought I could handle this like I always do. But I was wrong. I saw a pic of one of the dead family members and had a complete breakdown; and he had text me right when the breakdown started. I was lashing out on everyone

Posted by Marai

I agree that Scorpios can be very forgiving if they are about you, but take full accountability for what went wrong and explain yourself if he's willing to hear it. If he's not, you have your answer.

I'm sure he'll understand because of the kind of FWB situation you didn't wanted to go in that emotionally and not tell all.

Take good care of yourself during your sessions and give it time.

Thanks. I posted an update and I hope he can forgive me, we were closing getting closer and he was even willing to cook for me even though he didn’t know how to make my favorite meal. The counseling has helped so much, I discovered how to find my closure, I had just got a higher paying job and was able to afford to fly back home out of state to visit their graves and I felt so much better afterwards.

Posted by BlueStar

Focus on finding a way to live with your grief before you do anything else.

Thank you. I posted an update. The grief counseling has helped drastically. Before I was barely eating and sleeping. But now I am and they helped me find a way to cope and get closure. I recently got a better paying job and was able to fly out of state to body my families graves, I felt so much better after

I am actually shook by the number of people lashing out on this poor girl who's already going through so much. The guy isn't at fault, but neither is she. 3 people died in her family in a span of 3 weeks, her mother isn't doing well either. Being the eldest she has a lot of responsibility to handle everyone else, the guy isn't talking to her and you guys are saying/using words like rude, psycho, irrational etc. Fuck you all. For shame.

For the OP - If your messages aren't blocked then you should text him explaining your situation and what made you behave the way you did. If he's a good person he'll understand, if he doesn't then fuck him.

Posted by bad_at_usernames

I am actually shook by the number of people lashing out on this poor girl who's already going through so much. The guy isn't at fault, but neither is she. 3 people died in her family in a span of 3 weeks, her mother isn't doing well either. Being the eldest she has a lot of responsibility to handle everyone else, the guy isn't talking to her and you guys are saying/using words like rude, psycho, irrational etc. Fuck you all. For shame.

For the OP - If your messages aren't blocked then you should text him explaining your situation and what made you behave the way you did. If he's a good person he'll understand, if he doesn't then fuck him.

Thank you so much. I really appreciate your kind words. I posted an update please feel free to read it and give your feedback

Posted by GirlyATL12

Posted by bad_at_usernames

I am actually shook by the number of people lashing out on this poor girl who's already going through so much. The guy isn't at fault, but neither is she. 3 people died in her family in a span of 3 weeks, her mother isn't doing well either. Being the eldest she has a lot of responsibility to handle everyone else, the guy isn't talking to her and you guys are saying/using words like rude, psycho, irrational etc. Fuck you all. For shame.

For the OP - If your messages aren't blocked then you should text him explaining your situation and what made you behave the way you did. If he's a good person he'll understand, if he doesn't then fuck him.

Thank you so much. I really appreciate your kind words. I posted an update please feel free to read it and give your feedback

click to expand

Hey I checked it out and gave my input❤

Posted by GirlyATL12

Posted by Cancer96

That's your own fault for not explaining your situation with him, and sounds like you have not emotionally matured yet.

Even if you're uncomfortable with telling your story to him, at least give him a heads-up that you're not in a good mood and have IRL incidents that came up? He's not a mind reader.

Also, are you the Scorpio or him?

I posted an update. I have never behaved this way before in my life, I’ve always been the level headed nice person. The deaths hit me really hard, I couldn’t go to the funeral cause of covid, also I couldn’t afford to fly out of state to see them. I was barely sleeping or eating and I was very irritable and emotional. I was going to tell him but I’ve been through a lot of bad stuff in my life and I thought I could handle this like I always do. But I was wrong. I saw a pic of one of the dead family members and had a complete breakdown; and he had text me right when the breakdown started. I was lashing out on everyone

click to expand

I’m not saying how you were feeling/acting for your trauma is wrong.

My point was the poor communication you had with him on explaining this matter. It was wrong. Communication is key in a relationship.