Dude
@csdude55
10 YearsVirgo
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Can't tell if my Scorpio woman is interested
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Not sure why half of that didn't post...
(unbelievable?) trait for a Scorpio.
2. In spite of that, she talks to a guy friend in another country (that she's never met in person; she's in the US, he's in Egypt), and they both constantly post on her FB page that they love one another. She even posts pictures of couples kissing on his page, and will say something like "You and me some day". She's told me several times that they're just joking and that she just thinks of him as a friend, but he's told me that they're in love... so either she's telling me the truth and leading him on, or she's lying to me.
3. For the last 3 weeks or so, we've hardly talked at all. She claims that FB isn't notifying her when she gets a message, but I've sent texts, too, with luke-warm replies. Example: yesterday, I sent a pic of myself with my shirt off, showing my new sunburn lines (as well as my chest, arms, and abs). She replied with "Hahahaha". I replied with, "I'm glad it's funny to YOU! LOL Now I'm not sexy anymore". It's been over 24 hours now, with no reply **. I kind of feel like a girl that was interested would have replied with something like, "oh, you're still sexy".
My over-analytical side did a quick count of the number of messages over time, to track the regression. I deleted the messages from April, but from 5/2 - 5/8, she sent me 104 messages on FB, plus an unknown number of texts (I'm guessing, 15 or 20 texts). The next week, she sent 55 messages and 0 texts. The next week, 23 FB messages and 3 texts. This last week, 27 FB messages (21 of which were sent on Thursday) and 0 texts. She claims to have a bad signal on her phone for the last few weeks, but she sure has no problem posting on her wall about how much she loves her friend in Egypt.
4. Those days of her texting me as soon as she wakes up, or talking to me until she falls asleep, are long past. I can't remember the last time she talked to me that much; maybe 6 or 7 weeks ago?
5. After 3 months, and me coming to visit her after work several times (at her request), she will not commit to any type of alone time, and has expressed no interest in kissing or anything; not even a kiss goodbye. I've mentioned kissing a lot (eg, "I really wanted to kiss you yesterday, but your boss was there", or sometimes pictures of monkeys kissing, because she likes monkeys), and she's receptive, but never responds in kind (eg, always ":-)" or "OK", never "I wanted to kiss you, too"). I've invited her to my ho
(unbelievable?) trait for a Scorpio.
2. In spite of that, she talks to a guy friend in another country (that she's never met in person; she's in the US, he's in Egypt), and they both constantly post on her FB page that they love one another. She even posts pictures of couples kissing on his page, and will say something like "You and me some day". She's told me several times that they're just joking and that she just thinks of him as a friend, but he's told me that they're in love... so either she's telling me the truth and leading him on, or she's lying to me.
3. For the last 3 weeks or so, we've hardly talked at all. She claims that FB isn't notifying her when she gets a message, but I've sent texts, too, with luke-warm replies. Example: yesterday, I sent a pic of myself with my shirt off, showing my new sunburn lines (as well as my chest, arms, and abs). She replied with "Hahahaha". I replied with, "I'm glad it's funny to YOU! LOL Now I'm not sexy anymore". It's been over 24 hours now, with no reply **. I kind of feel like a girl that was interested would have replied with something like, "oh, you're still sexy".
My over-analytical side did a quick count of the number of messages over time, to track the regression. I deleted the messages from April, but from 5/2 - 5/8, she sent me 104 messages on FB, plus an unknown number of texts (I'm guessing, 15 or 20 texts). The next week, she sent 55 messages and 0 texts. The next week, 23 FB messages and 3 texts. This last week, 27 FB messages (21 of which were sent on Thursday) and 0 texts. She claims to have a bad signal on her phone for the last few weeks, but she sure has no problem posting on her wall about how much she loves her friend in Egypt.
4. Those days of her texting me as soon as she wakes up, or talking to me until she falls asleep, are long past. I can't remember the last time she talked to me that much; maybe 6 or 7 weeks ago?
5. After 3 months, and me coming to visit her after work several times (at her request), she will not commit to any type of alone time, and has expressed no interest in kissing or anything; not even a kiss goodbye. I've mentioned kissing a lot (eg, "I really wanted to kiss you yesterday, but your boss was there", or sometimes pictures of monkeys kissing, because she likes monkeys), and she's receptive, but never responds in kind (eg, always ":-)" or "OK", never "I wanted to kiss you, too"). I've invited her to my ho
I've invited her to my house several times for dinner, to watch a movie, or to just hang out after she gets off work; she always says "maybe", but then doesn't (usually disappearing completely and not talking to me for several days).
6. She goes through periods of just not talking to me at all... sometimes several days. And where we used to talk for hours, for the last few weeks we might just chat for 10 or 15 minutes before she just disappears without saying anything.
A FEW SIGNS THAT SHE IS INTERESTED
1. When I do see her, she seems VERY happy to see me. I surprised her at work on Friday (a few days ago), and she rushed over and gave me a big, 2-armed hug immediately. Then she asked if she could get off work early so she could sit with me.
2. Even though she didn't want to leave with me, she sat beside of me (not across the table) and gave me a bite of her snack. Not in a cute, romantic way, though; she held it up for me to break off a piece.
3. In the recent past, I've mentioned posting on her wall that she loves me to make her Egyptian friend jealous (in a joking way, of course), and she always encourages me to do it. Which, of course, I do! LOL
4. A couple of weeks ago, I told her that I'd come see her when she got off work at 2. I got there at 2:05, but she had already left. That really hurt my feelings, because it appeared that she forgot.
That night, I sent her a message, and she said that she had gone outside and didn't see me, so she left (instead of texting me?). She was pretty mad at me, though, and I asked if she wanted me to go away. She replied, "What? Nooo way!" So both the thought that me not showing hurt her feelings, and her expression that she definitely didn't want me to go away, both implied that she's interested.
5. A few days ago, I mentioned missing "my girl". She asked, "who's ur girl?" I replied, "you, of course!" She replied, "Ooo hahahaha OK 🙂"
6. While together Friday, she suggested getting her cousin to work for her one day next week, so we could spend the day together. I told her that that would be awesome! But the last time we had those same plans, and she backed out literally 30 minutes before time to pick her up, so I'm... dubious.
MIXED SIGNALS
1. About 6 weeks ago, she asked me for a favor: she needed a ride to the DMV at 8am that Friday. I suggested that she get the day off work, and after taking her to the DMV we could spend the day together. She said OK, and seemed excited...
Then
6. She goes through periods of just not talking to me at all... sometimes several days. And where we used to talk for hours, for the last few weeks we might just chat for 10 or 15 minutes before she just disappears without saying anything.
A FEW SIGNS THAT SHE IS INTERESTED
1. When I do see her, she seems VERY happy to see me. I surprised her at work on Friday (a few days ago), and she rushed over and gave me a big, 2-armed hug immediately. Then she asked if she could get off work early so she could sit with me.
2. Even though she didn't want to leave with me, she sat beside of me (not across the table) and gave me a bite of her snack. Not in a cute, romantic way, though; she held it up for me to break off a piece.
3. In the recent past, I've mentioned posting on her wall that she loves me to make her Egyptian friend jealous (in a joking way, of course), and she always encourages me to do it. Which, of course, I do! LOL
4. A couple of weeks ago, I told her that I'd come see her when she got off work at 2. I got there at 2:05, but she had already left. That really hurt my feelings, because it appeared that she forgot.
That night, I sent her a message, and she said that she had gone outside and didn't see me, so she left (instead of texting me?). She was pretty mad at me, though, and I asked if she wanted me to go away. She replied, "What? Nooo way!" So both the thought that me not showing hurt her feelings, and her expression that she definitely didn't want me to go away, both implied that she's interested.
5. A few days ago, I mentioned missing "my girl". She asked, "who's ur girl?" I replied, "you, of course!" She replied, "Ooo hahahaha OK 🙂"
6. While together Friday, she suggested getting her cousin to work for her one day next week, so we could spend the day together. I told her that that would be awesome! But the last time we had those same plans, and she backed out literally 30 minutes before time to pick her up, so I'm... dubious.
MIXED SIGNALS
1. About 6 weeks ago, she asked me for a favor: she needed a ride to the DMV at 8am that Friday. I suggested that she get the day off work, and after taking her to the DMV we could spend the day together. She said OK, and seemed excited...
Then
Then I didn't hear from her for 2 days.
The night before our plans, I sent her a message and asked if we were still on. At 6:45am (an hour and 15 minutes before I'm supposed to pick her up), she sent me a message: "No, I'm not going today". No apologies or other explanation, even though she knew that I had taken the entire day off work to be with her. I didn't hear from her for another 3 days, until she sent me a random "how are you" message. She never brought up going to the DMV again, and never offered an explanation of what happened.
2. A few weeks ago, I went to see her (unexpected) on a Monday. We talked and had a good time, and made tentative plans to go see a place in another town that she's excited to visit (which she hasn't mentioned since). She asked if I could come back on Thursday, when she got off early. She gave me a big hug when we left.
She didn't talk to me the rest of the week, though. On Wednesday, I sent her a message to see if we were still "on" for the next day. She didn't reply, so I went on Thursday, anyway, as planned.
I got there at around 1:30, and she seemed happy to see me, but maybe surprised. She wasn't going to get off work until 3, after all, and didn't act like she remembered that we had plans. I didn't ask if she remembered, but she certainly didn't act like she did.
There were a few customers there, so I told her I'd come back at 2, when they would have slowed down. I got back at around 2:10, and saw her walking towards her car! She saw me and came over, and said that she got off early because the school called and wanted her to pick up her son early. That felt like BS, though, because she's a 20 minute drive to the school, and school lets out at 2:50; so, they called her to pick him up 20 minutes early? And she wasn't going to text me to tell me not to bother coming back?
Before I left, though, she asked me when I could come see her again. I reminded her that I usually work in another county, so coming to see her like that meant clearing my entire evening, and it's not easy to do, so I couldn't be sure when I could come back. She just said, "oh".
I thought that I had played it cool, but I must have been obviously upset, because about an hour later she texted me: "I feel bad... we need to talk... let me get home, ok?" I wrote back and said, "OK". I didn't hear from her again for 2 days, and when she did finally write back, it was just another "hey, how are you" with no mention of her forgetting about
The night before our plans, I sent her a message and asked if we were still on. At 6:45am (an hour and 15 minutes before I'm supposed to pick her up), she sent me a message: "No, I'm not going today". No apologies or other explanation, even though she knew that I had taken the entire day off work to be with her. I didn't hear from her for another 3 days, until she sent me a random "how are you" message. She never brought up going to the DMV again, and never offered an explanation of what happened.
2. A few weeks ago, I went to see her (unexpected) on a Monday. We talked and had a good time, and made tentative plans to go see a place in another town that she's excited to visit (which she hasn't mentioned since). She asked if I could come back on Thursday, when she got off early. She gave me a big hug when we left.
She didn't talk to me the rest of the week, though. On Wednesday, I sent her a message to see if we were still "on" for the next day. She didn't reply, so I went on Thursday, anyway, as planned.
I got there at around 1:30, and she seemed happy to see me, but maybe surprised. She wasn't going to get off work until 3, after all, and didn't act like she remembered that we had plans. I didn't ask if she remembered, but she certainly didn't act like she did.
There were a few customers there, so I told her I'd come back at 2, when they would have slowed down. I got back at around 2:10, and saw her walking towards her car! She saw me and came over, and said that she got off early because the school called and wanted her to pick up her son early. That felt like BS, though, because she's a 20 minute drive to the school, and school lets out at 2:50; so, they called her to pick him up 20 minutes early? And she wasn't going to text me to tell me not to bother coming back?
Before I left, though, she asked me when I could come see her again. I reminded her that I usually work in another county, so coming to see her like that meant clearing my entire evening, and it's not easy to do, so I couldn't be sure when I could come back. She just said, "oh".
I thought that I had played it cool, but I must have been obviously upset, because about an hour later she texted me: "I feel bad... we need to talk... let me get home, ok?" I wrote back and said, "OK". I didn't hear from her again for 2 days, and when she did finally write back, it was just another "hey, how are you" with no mention of her forgetting about
with no mention of her forgetting about me.
3. As I mentioned before, she's always asking me to come see her at work. But she's made no effort at all to see me on evenings or weekends, to go out on a real date, or to be alone together. Even when we hang out after she gets off work, we stay at the restaurant where there are a few people there. I suspect that she does this because she's afraid I'll try to kiss her or something.
4. A month ago, I was a LOT more flirty with her. I would send her sexy pics (PG-13), and she would reply with "Nice" or something similar, but never return with pics of her own. I would tell her about sexy "dreams" involving her, and she would reply with :-) or something similar, but that's all.
At one point, we were talking about sex, and she said that she hates sex. I thought she was joking, but she said that it really makes her sick to her stomach after her second kid (which, apparently, isn't that uncommon of a problem). She doesn't particularly like to kiss or cuddle, either. I don't know if she was joking (that is the type of joke she would make), or testing me (wouldn't be the first time), or discreetly telling me that she's not physically interested in me, but I haven't mentioned sex or kissing since, and neither has she. I've talked about caring about her (usually when she's depressed), but she's never once reciprocated (even when I'm depressed).
5. I always use pet names like "gorgeous", "princess", etc, which she seems to like, but the only pet name she's ever used for me were "7bbi" (Arabic for "my darling" or "my love"), sweetie, or sometimes "dear" (as in, "yes, dear").
The last time she used a pet name like that for me was May 8, until she called me "dear" on Thursday of last week ("Sure, dear, have a nice dinner").
6. Last Saturday (just over a week ago) I told her that it really bothered me that she was constantly flirting online with her "friend" and saying she loves him, but won't even admit to liking me. I said that I was going to back off romantically, but we could still be friends.
She replied quickly (for once) and seemed upset by that ("you don't want to talk to me, just because of that?"). This was right at midnight, so she wanted to talk the next day (Sunday), at 6pm. I sent a text the next day at 6pm to ask if I could call her, sent her a message by FB, and posted a comment on her wall (the last to say, "I sent you a message, in case you don't get a notification") but she didn't reply.
3. As I mentioned before, she's always asking me to come see her at work. But she's made no effort at all to see me on evenings or weekends, to go out on a real date, or to be alone together. Even when we hang out after she gets off work, we stay at the restaurant where there are a few people there. I suspect that she does this because she's afraid I'll try to kiss her or something.
4. A month ago, I was a LOT more flirty with her. I would send her sexy pics (PG-13), and she would reply with "Nice" or something similar, but never return with pics of her own. I would tell her about sexy "dreams" involving her, and she would reply with :-) or something similar, but that's all.
At one point, we were talking about sex, and she said that she hates sex. I thought she was joking, but she said that it really makes her sick to her stomach after her second kid (which, apparently, isn't that uncommon of a problem). She doesn't particularly like to kiss or cuddle, either. I don't know if she was joking (that is the type of joke she would make), or testing me (wouldn't be the first time), or discreetly telling me that she's not physically interested in me, but I haven't mentioned sex or kissing since, and neither has she. I've talked about caring about her (usually when she's depressed), but she's never once reciprocated (even when I'm depressed).
5. I always use pet names like "gorgeous", "princess", etc, which she seems to like, but the only pet name she's ever used for me were "7bbi" (Arabic for "my darling" or "my love"), sweetie, or sometimes "dear" (as in, "yes, dear").
The last time she used a pet name like that for me was May 8, until she called me "dear" on Thursday of last week ("Sure, dear, have a nice dinner").
6. Last Saturday (just over a week ago) I told her that it really bothered me that she was constantly flirting online with her "friend" and saying she loves him, but won't even admit to liking me. I said that I was going to back off romantically, but we could still be friends.
She replied quickly (for once) and seemed upset by that ("you don't want to talk to me, just because of that?"). This was right at midnight, so she wanted to talk the next day (Sunday), at 6pm. I sent a text the next day at 6pm to ask if I could call her, sent her a message by FB, and posted a comment on her wall (the last to say, "I sent you a message, in case you don't get a notification") but she didn't reply.
Around 7pm, she posted a few pictures, though, and made a few posts to her friend in Egypt (this time, only 1 was flirty). And that night, she disabled her FB page entirely.
On Thursday, she came back online and sent me a message: "Hey, how are you". I replied, and after a little talking I said that I had missed her all week. She asked, "why didn't you text me?" It seemed that she was hurt that I didn't text her, even though she had ignored my last 5 messages. She said that she had disabled her account because she was overwhelmed with problems from her ex (father of her children).
After a little more chatting, I was about to log off, and ended with, "I really missed you this week :-) I seriously think we would be great together, if we give it a chance." She replied with, "😄 Same" (note that I'm on a computer, and she's on a phone, so her replies are always short). That's why I went to see her the next day.
7. As I mentioned before, I went to see her Friday, and she seemed happy about it. But I did note that, while she was sitting beside of me, she spent a lot of time on her phone looking at FB, and sometimes showing me funny pics on her News Feed. The fact that FB was more interesting than me does bother me, but I don't know if that's a sign of the age difference or a sign of disinterest. At one point, I did jokingly refer to it (the other waitress was cleaning and apologized for the noise, and I replied that I had really just come to watch her clean and to watch my girl play on FB), and she sat her phone down pretty quickly. Regardless, I know now that she at least has a signal at work, so when she gets off at 2 and is just sitting there, she could easily reply to me if she wanted to.
She hugged me 3 times, though, and as she left she said that she would text me. But, as I said before, it's now Sunday, and all I've heard from her was "hahaha" after I sent her a pic of my sunburn.
** Update: she finally texted me at 8:30pm Sunday night, after all, but it just said one word: my name (no smiley). I replied 10 minutes later with "Hey!" It's now 4am on Monday, and she didn't reply back. So, again, confusing... she was thinking of me and wanted to talk, but 10 minutes later she had moved on and didn't want to talk anymore?
Sorry that this is so long, but I'm trying to be pretty detailed so you'll understand my confusion. What do you all think? I've tried to exude confidence, give her space when she wants it, and I've tried to be surprising
On Thursday, she came back online and sent me a message: "Hey, how are you". I replied, and after a little talking I said that I had missed her all week. She asked, "why didn't you text me?" It seemed that she was hurt that I didn't text her, even though she had ignored my last 5 messages. She said that she had disabled her account because she was overwhelmed with problems from her ex (father of her children).
After a little more chatting, I was about to log off, and ended with, "I really missed you this week :-) I seriously think we would be great together, if we give it a chance." She replied with, "😄 Same" (note that I'm on a computer, and she's on a phone, so her replies are always short). That's why I went to see her the next day.
7. As I mentioned before, I went to see her Friday, and she seemed happy about it. But I did note that, while she was sitting beside of me, she spent a lot of time on her phone looking at FB, and sometimes showing me funny pics on her News Feed. The fact that FB was more interesting than me does bother me, but I don't know if that's a sign of the age difference or a sign of disinterest. At one point, I did jokingly refer to it (the other waitress was cleaning and apologized for the noise, and I replied that I had really just come to watch her clean and to watch my girl play on FB), and she sat her phone down pretty quickly. Regardless, I know now that she at least has a signal at work, so when she gets off at 2 and is just sitting there, she could easily reply to me if she wanted to.
She hugged me 3 times, though, and as she left she said that she would text me. But, as I said before, it's now Sunday, and all I've heard from her was "hahaha" after I sent her a pic of my sunburn.
** Update: she finally texted me at 8:30pm Sunday night, after all, but it just said one word: my name (no smiley). I replied 10 minutes later with "Hey!" It's now 4am on Monday, and she didn't reply back. So, again, confusing... she was thinking of me and wanted to talk, but 10 minutes later she had moved on and didn't want to talk anymore?
Sorry that this is so long, but I'm trying to be pretty detailed so you'll understand my confusion. What do you all think? I've tried to exude confidence, give her space when she wants it, and I've tried to be surprising
surprising and interesting. But I simply can't read her; one minute she seems like she's super in to me, but then she doesn't talk to me for days on end. I have no idea if she's disappearing because she needs space, or because she wants me to chase her, or if she really doesn't really care that much about my feelings. And my usual direct approach (simply asking) only results in her sending a :-), or at best her saying that she's just shy. Neither of which explain her disappearing for days at a time, or openly flirting with her Egyptian friend while neglecting me.
I've always gone by the rule that a change in behavior is indicative of a change in feelings, so less interest in talking means that there's less interest in being together, and less interest in flirting means that there's less interest in being together, physically... both of which she has portrayed in the last several weeks. And forgetting that we had plans a few weeks ago is a clear indication that she wasn't very excited about them. But if that's the case, why keep asking me to come see her? Why suggest that we spend time together at all, if she doesn't want to spend time with me? Why reply at all after a few days, if she doesn't want to talk? If she just wants to be friends, wouldn't it be easier and less frustrating (for both of us) to just say, "I only want to be friends"? Or if that's too direct, just stop talking to me altogether?
Please, somebody help me figure this Scorpio woman out! 😄
** Sorry, I didn't realize that each post had to be so short. I had to break this down in to a million posts.
I've always gone by the rule that a change in behavior is indicative of a change in feelings, so less interest in talking means that there's less interest in being together, and less interest in flirting means that there's less interest in being together, physically... both of which she has portrayed in the last several weeks. And forgetting that we had plans a few weeks ago is a clear indication that she wasn't very excited about them. But if that's the case, why keep asking me to come see her? Why suggest that we spend time together at all, if she doesn't want to spend time with me? Why reply at all after a few days, if she doesn't want to talk? If she just wants to be friends, wouldn't it be easier and less frustrating (for both of us) to just say, "I only want to be friends"? Or if that's too direct, just stop talking to me altogether?
Please, somebody help me figure this Scorpio woman out! 😄
** Sorry, I didn't realize that each post had to be so short. I had to break this down in to a million posts.
^^^scratch that. You second point already answers your question.
I'll respond to each statement all the same...
Signs she's really not interested:
1) Don't believe the hype. A Scorp can be just as shy as the next person. I was very shy for much of my life.
2) see first post.
3) stop fishishing for compliments. It's unattractive. I would have ignored your text as well. Scorps are not really into ego stroking.
@the over analytical blab fest kind of endearing but yeah....see #2.
4) and 5) see reply to #2
6) She's a Scorp. We welcome and embrace our alone time. It happens often. If you mean something to us (and she's mature) you will get the courtesy "I just need a few days to deal with some things" heads up. If not, well refer to how she's behaving.
Signs she not really interested in me romantically---but I believe these are signs I can clutch on to because I hope that she is interested:
1) Unless you're contagious there is no reason why she wouldn't hug you warmly. You are a friend.
2) That is merely an indication that she is somewhat thoughtful. Also, if she is shy, sitting next to you is a way to mask that. I use to do it all the time. That's not about you it's about her.
3) Dude, you're simply helping her out with the Egyptian guy and don't even know it.
4) It actually doesn't. Her ego was at play there.
5) Ego....
6) I would be interested to see how this plays out. If she doesn't bail or cut the day short, I'd be surprised.
Not really mixed signals, but we'll call them that:
1) Disrespectful and thoughtless. The basic reply "ok" should have told you enough. Not sure how this is a mixed signal.
2) See above and more than likely, she did forget.
Signs she's really not interested:
1) Don't believe the hype. A Scorp can be just as shy as the next person. I was very shy for much of my life.
2) see first post.
3) stop fishishing for compliments. It's unattractive. I would have ignored your text as well. Scorps are not really into ego stroking.
@the over analytical blab fest kind of endearing but yeah....see #2.
4) and 5) see reply to #2
6) She's a Scorp. We welcome and embrace our alone time. It happens often. If you mean something to us (and she's mature) you will get the courtesy "I just need a few days to deal with some things" heads up. If not, well refer to how she's behaving.
Signs she not really interested in me romantically---but I believe these are signs I can clutch on to because I hope that she is interested:
1) Unless you're contagious there is no reason why she wouldn't hug you warmly. You are a friend.
2) That is merely an indication that she is somewhat thoughtful. Also, if she is shy, sitting next to you is a way to mask that. I use to do it all the time. That's not about you it's about her.
3) Dude, you're simply helping her out with the Egyptian guy and don't even know it.
4) It actually doesn't. Her ego was at play there.
5) Ego....
6) I would be interested to see how this plays out. If she doesn't bail or cut the day short, I'd be surprised.
Not really mixed signals, but we'll call them that:
1) Disrespectful and thoughtless. The basic reply "ok" should have told you enough. Not sure how this is a mixed signal.
2) See above and more than likely, she did forget.
3) You're right.
4) Already covered the "fishing for compliments" bit above. Also, Scorps will only do something because they want to, not because it's expected. This isn't tit for tat.
PS I'd reevaluate your definition of "flirting". It leave something to be desired and scream of ego stroking. Flirting is suppose to be about the other person, not your abs.
5) *shrug* I only give nicknames to people I like or adore.
6) You're the back up plan if thing don't work out with the Egyptian guy. You're also pushing too hard for that spot. You have no idea if "you could be great together", if she give it a chance. Regardless, she's not hearing it because she has her sights elsewhere.
Overall, move on. It sounds like she enjoys your attention and company when things with the Egyptian gets confusing or dull.
4) Already covered the "fishing for compliments" bit above. Also, Scorps will only do something because they want to, not because it's expected. This isn't tit for tat.
PS I'd reevaluate your definition of "flirting". It leave something to be desired and scream of ego stroking. Flirting is suppose to be about the other person, not your abs.
5) *shrug* I only give nicknames to people I like or adore.
6) You're the back up plan if thing don't work out with the Egyptian guy. You're also pushing too hard for that spot. You have no idea if "you could be great together", if she give it a chance. Regardless, she's not hearing it because she has her sights elsewhere.
Overall, move on. It sounds like she enjoys your attention and company when things with the Egyptian gets confusing or dull.
^^^....nothing more. She won't tell you she just wants friendship because you are her safety net in case things go no where with the Egyptian.
Sorry.
Sorry.
I maybe not be a Scorpio but I am polar to them and sometimes we are similar..
1. Well that makes my blood boil, when someone is on the phone and it's our time.
2. You sending pics is flattering but sometimes it's for attention because someone isn't paying attention to you. So if you don't get attention you may be wanting to show others what you're packing with....
3. Are you ready for kids, seriously? Do you want kids, does she? Sometimes that's a deal breaker for some people..
4.Age is about maturity and having a stable life. Yeah you're stable, but she may not because she has a life ahead of her, work, college, and guys, and then lover..So many things can happen for her now till 30, you're older...she's like years apart from you.
I met a Taurus who was 39 about to be 40, I just turned 34, he was already in the mindset of not having kids but wanted a long term relationship.. I asked my questions about this, but we were able to compromise if we got along and that time came...
But I asked him would you accept adoption. He said yes. Because then that means if I am unable to have kids or if I can..I have till next year to get to know this twin mate of mine within a year and time is ticking biologically. Well I'm not in a hurry and neither was he..
5. Think about her interest and yours, your common interests, what you are willing to accept and her too, all about give and take and loyalty. But you have to communicate and be honest, and trusting..
1. Well that makes my blood boil, when someone is on the phone and it's our time.
2. You sending pics is flattering but sometimes it's for attention because someone isn't paying attention to you. So if you don't get attention you may be wanting to show others what you're packing with....
3. Are you ready for kids, seriously? Do you want kids, does she? Sometimes that's a deal breaker for some people..
4.Age is about maturity and having a stable life. Yeah you're stable, but she may not because she has a life ahead of her, work, college, and guys, and then lover..So many things can happen for her now till 30, you're older...she's like years apart from you.
I met a Taurus who was 39 about to be 40, I just turned 34, he was already in the mindset of not having kids but wanted a long term relationship.. I asked my questions about this, but we were able to compromise if we got along and that time came...
But I asked him would you accept adoption. He said yes. Because then that means if I am unable to have kids or if I can..I have till next year to get to know this twin mate of mine within a year and time is ticking biologically. Well I'm not in a hurry and neither was he..
5. Think about her interest and yours, your common interests, what you are willing to accept and her too, all about give and take and loyalty. But you have to communicate and be honest, and trusting..
Thanks for all of the replies! Very helpful insight, really. When I read the replies earlier today, though, there were more than I'm seeing now; the main page says there are 20, but I'm only counting 17. The last one I see is from "ScorpiosHarmony".
So, I apologize if I'm missing some of the replies.
I do want to reply to a few of the comments I do see, though:
"3) stop fishishing for compliments. It's unattractive. I would have ignored your text as well. Scorps are not really into ego stroking."
She has sent me a few pictures in the past that were fishing (she sent one a week or so ago of herself, totally G-rated, with a caption of, "what do you think?"), so I was really following her lead.
On Thursday (after she came back from her 4-day hiatus), we had chatted awhile, and later I sent her a G-rated pic of myself with the caption, "in case you forgot what I look like". She replied with "you're so silly, I couldn't forget". And then on Friday, right before she left, she said something like, "I saw your pic, you looked good!"
So, the idea of sending pics like that wasn't entirely from left field or anything.
At the very least, she could have replied with something like, "so how did you get sunburned?" Ignoring texts that you don't find appealing is a good step towards ending a relationship.
"3) Dude, you're simply helping her out with the Egyptian guy and don't even know it. "
This was my thought, too. But the thing is, I couldn't tell if she was using me to make him jealous, or vice versa. Either way is childish and unattractive, though. I'm really too old for games like that.
I can't imagine that she's serious about the Egyptian guy. I mean, they've never met in person, and probably never will; the guy is 6,000 miles away. My thought was that, maybe he's a safety for her, and she thinks that she can flirt with him without it meaning anything.
But if so, she's being very cruel to him. He thinks they're in love, but she tells me that they're just friends and joke a lot.
** Don't know why this board cuts off the posts, I'll finish in a second post...
So, I apologize if I'm missing some of the replies.
I do want to reply to a few of the comments I do see, though:
"3) stop fishishing for compliments. It's unattractive. I would have ignored your text as well. Scorps are not really into ego stroking."
She has sent me a few pictures in the past that were fishing (she sent one a week or so ago of herself, totally G-rated, with a caption of, "what do you think?"), so I was really following her lead.
On Thursday (after she came back from her 4-day hiatus), we had chatted awhile, and later I sent her a G-rated pic of myself with the caption, "in case you forgot what I look like". She replied with "you're so silly, I couldn't forget". And then on Friday, right before she left, she said something like, "I saw your pic, you looked good!"
So, the idea of sending pics like that wasn't entirely from left field or anything.
At the very least, she could have replied with something like, "so how did you get sunburned?" Ignoring texts that you don't find appealing is a good step towards ending a relationship.
"3) Dude, you're simply helping her out with the Egyptian guy and don't even know it. "
This was my thought, too. But the thing is, I couldn't tell if she was using me to make him jealous, or vice versa. Either way is childish and unattractive, though. I'm really too old for games like that.
I can't imagine that she's serious about the Egyptian guy. I mean, they've never met in person, and probably never will; the guy is 6,000 miles away. My thought was that, maybe he's a safety for her, and she thinks that she can flirt with him without it meaning anything.
But if so, she's being very cruel to him. He thinks they're in love, but she tells me that they're just friends and joke a lot.
** Don't know why this board cuts off the posts, I'll finish in a second post...
"6) You're the back up plan if thing don't work out with the Egyptian guy. You're also pushing too hard for that spot. You have no idea if "you could be great together", if she give it a chance. Regardless, she's not hearing it because she has her sights elsewhere."
This wasn't entirely out of left field, either. We were having a very serious conversation about her ex (the father of her children). He's been wanting to get back together, and she said that she feels obligated because of money and the kids, and her family thinks that she should. But she regularly says that she doesn't love him, and doesn't think they will be happy.
At first, I told her to "just tell him that you're with me now, and that he should back off". She replied with "😄 I like that idea".
After more discussion about it, I told her that if she did go back to him, I would understand and not get in the way. How can I stand between kids and their dad? But I also told her that I really hoped she didn't, and that if she did then I would be hurt and would always want to be more than just friends.
I told her that I really hoped she gave us a chance before making any permanent decisions. To which she replied with 🙂
So the "we could be great together" comment was in reference to her not going back to her ex, and had nothing to do with the Egyptian dude. This is why her "😄 Same" comment was meaningful.
"She won't tell you she just wants friendship because you are her safety net"
I think you may be right; not necessarily with the Egyptian guy, who I can't imagine she's really serious about, but with her ex, and possibly any other local guy she's talking to. I do feel like a backup plan, though.
"3. Are you ready for kids, seriously? Do you want kids, does she? Sometimes that's a deal breaker for some people.."
I ended a 20 year relationship last year, so I'm not really a stranger to long term committments. I'm in a place in my life where I do want a family and kids, and the idea of being with a woman that already has kids appeals to me. A lot.
She and I haven't had a "serious, sit down" conversation about kids, but she has mentioned not wanting more, and I'm OK with that. A wife, two kids, and their real dad being part of their lives (but not intruding on my relationship) seems almost ideal to me.
** One more post...
This wasn't entirely out of left field, either. We were having a very serious conversation about her ex (the father of her children). He's been wanting to get back together, and she said that she feels obligated because of money and the kids, and her family thinks that she should. But she regularly says that she doesn't love him, and doesn't think they will be happy.
At first, I told her to "just tell him that you're with me now, and that he should back off". She replied with "😄 I like that idea".
After more discussion about it, I told her that if she did go back to him, I would understand and not get in the way. How can I stand between kids and their dad? But I also told her that I really hoped she didn't, and that if she did then I would be hurt and would always want to be more than just friends.
I told her that I really hoped she gave us a chance before making any permanent decisions. To which she replied with 🙂
So the "we could be great together" comment was in reference to her not going back to her ex, and had nothing to do with the Egyptian dude. This is why her "😄 Same" comment was meaningful.
"She won't tell you she just wants friendship because you are her safety net"
I think you may be right; not necessarily with the Egyptian guy, who I can't imagine she's really serious about, but with her ex, and possibly any other local guy she's talking to. I do feel like a backup plan, though.
"3. Are you ready for kids, seriously? Do you want kids, does she? Sometimes that's a deal breaker for some people.."
I ended a 20 year relationship last year, so I'm not really a stranger to long term committments. I'm in a place in my life where I do want a family and kids, and the idea of being with a woman that already has kids appeals to me. A lot.
She and I haven't had a "serious, sit down" conversation about kids, but she has mentioned not wanting more, and I'm OK with that. A wife, two kids, and their real dad being part of their lives (but not intruding on my relationship) seems almost ideal to me.
** One more post...
"She's not really interested. Back off from her and it will become more obvious."
To a large degree, I have. I do not plan to go see her again, and haven't initiated any conversations; I've only been replying when she initiates. I've been hesitant to back off completely, though, because if this hot-cold treatment is typical for a Scorpio then I don't want to leave just when she's getting serious.
Based on the replies here, though, I AM backing off emotionally. There's no need for me to become emotionally invested if she's not.
To a large degree, I have. I do not plan to go see her again, and haven't initiated any conversations; I've only been replying when she initiates. I've been hesitant to back off completely, though, because if this hot-cold treatment is typical for a Scorpio then I don't want to leave just when she's getting serious.
Based on the replies here, though, I AM backing off emotionally. There's no need for me to become emotionally invested if she's not.
I am a girl born on november 12 as well, single mother as well, with a foreign fling as well.
A scorpio woman doesn't give her heart easy, she puts you to a series of tests first. She needs to know you are honest, reliable, and most of all, she wants to know she owns you. The part about being busy with her kids i understand, and she wont expose her kids to a man just like that, no matter how much she likes you. I also relate to being depressed. Scorpios are obsessive and a single word will hurt them deeply. The scorpio woman isn't impressed with your job or your wealth, she is impressed by your kindness, and if you do practical things for her, she will appreciate it and give back 10 times more. I'm not talking about gifts like jewelry or perfume, i'm talking practical things that she needs and may not afford or may not have time for. If I were you i'd get her something for her kids, a game or tickets to the circus for them to enjoy. That way she will see you care about her and her kids.
In my opinion she likes you, and she likes playing with you too, yes scorpios are gamers, but once they set their minds on someone, their love is the most precious thing. She wants you to care about her, ask her what she needs, how you can help her, how you can get involved. She will act all independent, but deep down she wants to give control to someone else so badly, at least for a few hours.
Being a scorpio is a full time job, it's hard and it gets so dark sometimes. Bring light to her life, stop worrying whether she likes you or not. Obviously she does. Don't insist on spending too much time together, you will push her away, her kids are more important to her, and they should be to any mother. You will have to be very patient with this scorpio, as she likes your attention, but only when she wants it.
Scorpios are demanding and will not give up until they obtain what they want from a person. If you really want to persuade this woman, you need to be prepared to give her control over you. She's not a dictator, but she likes things done a certain way. Maybe that's part of the reason he's not sending more time with you. She senses youre not the kind that would give in. Think about it more before you throw yourself body and soul into it.
Once you get her attention more, you can talk about the egyptian guy. He's a potential danger to you. The scorpio woman likes to have a backup. And if you upset her she will go back to him in a heart beat.
Good luck!
A scorpio woman doesn't give her heart easy, she puts you to a series of tests first. She needs to know you are honest, reliable, and most of all, she wants to know she owns you. The part about being busy with her kids i understand, and she wont expose her kids to a man just like that, no matter how much she likes you. I also relate to being depressed. Scorpios are obsessive and a single word will hurt them deeply. The scorpio woman isn't impressed with your job or your wealth, she is impressed by your kindness, and if you do practical things for her, she will appreciate it and give back 10 times more. I'm not talking about gifts like jewelry or perfume, i'm talking practical things that she needs and may not afford or may not have time for. If I were you i'd get her something for her kids, a game or tickets to the circus for them to enjoy. That way she will see you care about her and her kids.
In my opinion she likes you, and she likes playing with you too, yes scorpios are gamers, but once they set their minds on someone, their love is the most precious thing. She wants you to care about her, ask her what she needs, how you can help her, how you can get involved. She will act all independent, but deep down she wants to give control to someone else so badly, at least for a few hours.
Being a scorpio is a full time job, it's hard and it gets so dark sometimes. Bring light to her life, stop worrying whether she likes you or not. Obviously she does. Don't insist on spending too much time together, you will push her away, her kids are more important to her, and they should be to any mother. You will have to be very patient with this scorpio, as she likes your attention, but only when she wants it.
Scorpios are demanding and will not give up until they obtain what they want from a person. If you really want to persuade this woman, you need to be prepared to give her control over you. She's not a dictator, but she likes things done a certain way. Maybe that's part of the reason he's not sending more time with you. She senses youre not the kind that would give in. Think about it more before you throw yourself body and soul into it.
Once you get her attention more, you can talk about the egyptian guy. He's a potential danger to you. The scorpio woman likes to have a backup. And if you upset her she will go back to him in a heart beat.
Good luck!
OK, so that's very interesting, energycreature! LOL You're the first (apparent) poster with the same bday, and you're the first one that suggests that she might really like me. The similarities you listed are almost uncanny.
Admittedly, her devotion to her kids is one of the things that attracted me to her the most. At my age, I'm looking for long term, not a playmate, and being a good mother is extremely important to me. I would never even consider dating someone that would put me before her children.
I was also very attracted to how she initiated contact, and asked me on a date first. I like a strong, confident woman. Again, I'm looking long term, and as a strong, confident man, I want a woman that is a match. I'm looking for a partner, not a subordinate. And honestly, this whole "shy" act is a bit of a turn off. It was cute and endearing for a short period, but at 3 months it's starting to get tiring.
It's in my nature, though, to want to talk to and be with my love interest a lot; if just to say "good morning" when I wake up to let her know I'm thinking of her. So this concept of acting aloof, not replying to messages, and disappearing for days seems counter-productive... that is how I treat people that I don't like at all! But then, I would never initiate contact with someone I don't like, or ask them to come see me, or even pretend to set up a date. Thus the confusion.
She does regularly refer to me being extremely kind, though, so it's interesting that you said that. I was actually concerned that being listed as "kind" might be interpreted by her as a weakness and a turn off; maybe I'm TOO soft. Which, if that's a turn off, it's OK. I AM kind and gentle, and the right woman will love that about me.
I do think that I exhibit a lot of the qualities you mentioned. For example, last night she sent me a message saying "I feel desperate 😭" (I'm not entirely sure what she meant, but it's clear that she was depressed about something). I sent her 2 messages in an attempt to get her to talk to me, and my last one reminded her that I care about her, and will do anything to help. She didn't reply, although she read the messages almost immediately. And today, I sent her a text telling her that I'm worried about her, and to please call me! She didn't call, though.
continued...
Admittedly, her devotion to her kids is one of the things that attracted me to her the most. At my age, I'm looking for long term, not a playmate, and being a good mother is extremely important to me. I would never even consider dating someone that would put me before her children.
I was also very attracted to how she initiated contact, and asked me on a date first. I like a strong, confident woman. Again, I'm looking long term, and as a strong, confident man, I want a woman that is a match. I'm looking for a partner, not a subordinate. And honestly, this whole "shy" act is a bit of a turn off. It was cute and endearing for a short period, but at 3 months it's starting to get tiring.
It's in my nature, though, to want to talk to and be with my love interest a lot; if just to say "good morning" when I wake up to let her know I'm thinking of her. So this concept of acting aloof, not replying to messages, and disappearing for days seems counter-productive... that is how I treat people that I don't like at all! But then, I would never initiate contact with someone I don't like, or ask them to come see me, or even pretend to set up a date. Thus the confusion.
She does regularly refer to me being extremely kind, though, so it's interesting that you said that. I was actually concerned that being listed as "kind" might be interpreted by her as a weakness and a turn off; maybe I'm TOO soft. Which, if that's a turn off, it's OK. I AM kind and gentle, and the right woman will love that about me.
I do think that I exhibit a lot of the qualities you mentioned. For example, last night she sent me a message saying "I feel desperate 😭" (I'm not entirely sure what she meant, but it's clear that she was depressed about something). I sent her 2 messages in an attempt to get her to talk to me, and my last one reminded her that I care about her, and will do anything to help. She didn't reply, although she read the messages almost immediately. And today, I sent her a text telling her that I'm worried about her, and to please call me! She didn't call, though.
continued...
And I have to admit, I like a little bit of drama, and I like to help people to solve their problems. I'm more likely to be attracted to a woman with a few problems that I can help fix than to a woman that's perfectly happy in every way and doesn't need me at all. I would love for her to cry on my shoulder when she's depressed; I don't want her to be weak, but I want her to see me as strong.
This is why I've thought we are a good match: I seem to have a lot of the qualities that she likes in a man, and she has a lot of the qualities that I like in a woman. After 3 months of this, I can't help but have gotten a little emotionally involved, but I have great concerns about being the only one that feels anything. I don't want to be the fool that keeps chasing a woman that everyone else can see is clearly not interested.
"Scorpios are demanding and will not give up until they obtain what they want from a person."
FWIW, I'm loyal and devoted to a fault. If I love someone, and they love me, I'll do anything for them. But at the first sign of betrayal, I'm out... usually for good. So if she's really telling her Egyptian friend that she loves him, and telling me that they're just friends, then I would see that as an unforgivable betrayal.
"If you really want to persuade this woman..."
Now, this might be the Leo in me, but... I don't want to persuade her, at all. I need to be with a woman that loves me and dreams about being with me, not a woman that has to be persuaded that I'm a viable choice. And if she's lying in bed at night thinking about her Egyptian friend (a logistically impossible choice) or her ex instead of me, then frankly, I can do better. I'm not going to be someone's Second Place Trophy, no matter how sweet and gorgeous she is. I'll fight for her, but she needs to fight for me, too, or it's not a balanced relationship.
This is why I've thought we are a good match: I seem to have a lot of the qualities that she likes in a man, and she has a lot of the qualities that I like in a woman. After 3 months of this, I can't help but have gotten a little emotionally involved, but I have great concerns about being the only one that feels anything. I don't want to be the fool that keeps chasing a woman that everyone else can see is clearly not interested.
"Scorpios are demanding and will not give up until they obtain what they want from a person."
FWIW, I'm loyal and devoted to a fault. If I love someone, and they love me, I'll do anything for them. But at the first sign of betrayal, I'm out... usually for good. So if she's really telling her Egyptian friend that she loves him, and telling me that they're just friends, then I would see that as an unforgivable betrayal.
"If you really want to persuade this woman..."
Now, this might be the Leo in me, but... I don't want to persuade her, at all. I need to be with a woman that loves me and dreams about being with me, not a woman that has to be persuaded that I'm a viable choice. And if she's lying in bed at night thinking about her Egyptian friend (a logistically impossible choice) or her ex instead of me, then frankly, I can do better. I'm not going to be someone's Second Place Trophy, no matter how sweet and gorgeous she is. I'll fight for her, but she needs to fight for me, too, or it's not a balanced relationship.
I wish you well. Good luck..
Thank you :-)
Just one more thing I wanted to add here. I would have absolutely no problem just being friends, if she told me that's what she wanted. When she first contacted me last year, I assumed that's all she wanted, anyway, because I had only recently been dumped by her cousin. It was only because she asked me on a date and acted romantically interested that it advanced any further.
But when I told her a few weeks ago that I was going to back off and just be friends because I had no desire to compete with her Egyptian friend, it seemed to really hurt her feelings and she quickly tried to talk me out of it (as someone said earlier, maybe her ego kicked in).
It seems simple to me: I'll be whatever she wants, she just has to be clear about what she wants. If she only wants a friend, she can't pretend to have romantic feelings for the sake of her ego. Right now, by playing games, she's on a path to lose me both romantically AND platonically.
Just one more thing I wanted to add here. I would have absolutely no problem just being friends, if she told me that's what she wanted. When she first contacted me last year, I assumed that's all she wanted, anyway, because I had only recently been dumped by her cousin. It was only because she asked me on a date and acted romantically interested that it advanced any further.
But when I told her a few weeks ago that I was going to back off and just be friends because I had no desire to compete with her Egyptian friend, it seemed to really hurt her feelings and she quickly tried to talk me out of it (as someone said earlier, maybe her ego kicked in).
It seems simple to me: I'll be whatever she wants, she just has to be clear about what she wants. If she only wants a friend, she can't pretend to have romantic feelings for the sake of her ego. Right now, by playing games, she's on a path to lose me both romantically AND platonically.
"Can you pretty please share both yours and her chart? Curios to know the other planets in play here particularly moon, mercury, mars, and venus"
You're getting a little above my range of expertise :-) I was born 8/24/75 at 9:31pm, in Hickory, North Carolina. You can view the chart here:
http://www.alwaysastrology.com/birth-chart-calculator.html<BR>
I have no idea how to read it myself, though.
I know that her birthday is 11/12/91 (I'm counting back for the year, it's not on her FB page), but she hasn't been very talkative lately so I haven't been able to ask the time or city of her birth.
"What's she's really saying if you read between the lines is that she isn't ready for a relationship and she is using sex as an excuse."
I had a very similar thought myself, but in a slightly modified way... this could be her way of saying that she just doesn't want to have sex with ME. Either way, same result.
I also thought that she could be testing me, to see if my interest was primarily sexual. This wouldn't have been her first test! And this was earlier in the relationship, when she was texting me every morning when she first woke up and chatting all night.
But since she referred to it as a physical problem, that night I did a search online and found that it wasn't uncommon to get nauseous after sex after childbirth, and there were several solutions online. So the next day, I sent her a message that told her I had found a possible solution. She replied with, "OMG, REALLY!! How??" So... maybe it wasn't a test or message at all, and just an honest complaint? She hasn't brought it up since, so I still have no idea.
continued...
You're getting a little above my range of expertise :-) I was born 8/24/75 at 9:31pm, in Hickory, North Carolina. You can view the chart here:
http://www.alwaysastrology.com/birth-chart-calculator.html<BR>
I have no idea how to read it myself, though.
I know that her birthday is 11/12/91 (I'm counting back for the year, it's not on her FB page), but she hasn't been very talkative lately so I haven't been able to ask the time or city of her birth.
"What's she's really saying if you read between the lines is that she isn't ready for a relationship and she is using sex as an excuse."
I had a very similar thought myself, but in a slightly modified way... this could be her way of saying that she just doesn't want to have sex with ME. Either way, same result.
I also thought that she could be testing me, to see if my interest was primarily sexual. This wouldn't have been her first test! And this was earlier in the relationship, when she was texting me every morning when she first woke up and chatting all night.
But since she referred to it as a physical problem, that night I did a search online and found that it wasn't uncommon to get nauseous after sex after childbirth, and there were several solutions online. So the next day, I sent her a message that told her I had found a possible solution. She replied with, "OMG, REALLY!! How??" So... maybe it wasn't a test or message at all, and just an honest complaint? She hasn't brought it up since, so I still have no idea.
continued...
"At 25 she is very young and now divorced with two kids she probably just wants to flirt and relax and have fun. You on the other hand are nearer the age to 'settle down '. I don't mean to be mean but have you considered dating someone your own age who will more than likely be on the same page as you?"
Please don't think that I'm just out there chasing young women! She approached me, not the other way around. I would gladly date a woman closer to my age, but that's easier said than done. Finding an athletic, active, and fun-loving 39 year old single woman in a relatively rural area that's not just going to be using me for my money is more challenging than you would think!
In the beginning, after she asked me on a date for the first time, I asked her what she was looking for; friend, flirt buddy, relationship, or what. She said that she's looking for a serious relationship.
Now, whether that's changed and she didn't tell me, or whether she was just telling me what she thought I wanted to hear at the time... I don't know. Maybe. But I did make it clear that I was looking for a serious relationship, not just someone to have fun with. So after we stopped talking for a few months, and then she reached out to me again in March, she should have known that I would still be wanting something more serious than a flirt buddy.
But the age difference is a real concern for me, I can't lie about that. With 2 kids, she does seem very mature; she doesn't go clubbing or to frat parties, at least (she doesn't drink, either). She hasn't mentioned the age difference at all, though, so I don't think it's a concern for her; I always got the feeling that my local reputation and stability were positives for her.
I do expect a few childish things (like testing me or trying to make me jealous), and as long as those are few and far in between, I'm OK with it. It WILL get annoying if she doesn't grow out of it, though.
Please don't think that I'm just out there chasing young women! She approached me, not the other way around. I would gladly date a woman closer to my age, but that's easier said than done. Finding an athletic, active, and fun-loving 39 year old single woman in a relatively rural area that's not just going to be using me for my money is more challenging than you would think!
In the beginning, after she asked me on a date for the first time, I asked her what she was looking for; friend, flirt buddy, relationship, or what. She said that she's looking for a serious relationship.
Now, whether that's changed and she didn't tell me, or whether she was just telling me what she thought I wanted to hear at the time... I don't know. Maybe. But I did make it clear that I was looking for a serious relationship, not just someone to have fun with. So after we stopped talking for a few months, and then she reached out to me again in March, she should have known that I would still be wanting something more serious than a flirt buddy.
But the age difference is a real concern for me, I can't lie about that. With 2 kids, she does seem very mature; she doesn't go clubbing or to frat parties, at least (she doesn't drink, either). She hasn't mentioned the age difference at all, though, so I don't think it's a concern for her; I always got the feeling that my local reputation and stability were positives for her.
I do expect a few childish things (like testing me or trying to make me jealous), and as long as those are few and far in between, I'm OK with it. It WILL get annoying if she doesn't grow out of it, though.
This might be a better link for my birth chart:
http://astro.cafeastrology.com/cgi-bin/astro/natal?member=&recalc=&name=csdude55&sex=t&d1day=24&d1month=8&d1year=1975&d1hour=21&d1min=31&citylist=Hickory% 2C+NC+% 2837% 29% 2C+United+States&lang=en
It refers to me being embarrassed easily, though, and not comfortable in the limelight. I totally disagree with that! My friends have often joked that it's not possible to embarrass me, and I'm regularly on stage in front of large groups of people (and enjoy it). That wasn't always the case, though, as I was a shy and awkward youth.
Otherwise, the synopsis is shockingly accurate.
http://astro.cafeastrology.com/cgi-bin/astro/natal?member=&recalc=&name=csdude55&sex=t&d1day=24&d1month=8&d1year=1975&d1hour=21&d1min=31&citylist=Hickory% 2C+NC+% 2837% 29% 2C+United+States&lang=en
It refers to me being embarrassed easily, though, and not comfortable in the limelight. I totally disagree with that! My friends have often joked that it's not possible to embarrass me, and I'm regularly on stage in front of large groups of people (and enjoy it). That wasn't always the case, though, as I was a shy and awkward youth.
Otherwise, the synopsis is shockingly accurate.
Fella, I'm a Scorp.
She's NOT interested in you.
However, if you're hot then feel free to send me that pic of your sunburn! 😉
She's NOT interested in you.
However, if you're hot then feel free to send me that pic of your sunburn! 😉
I can't help but point this one out! Energycreature:
"stop worrying whether she likes you or not. Obviously she does."
AgentP911:
"She's NOT interested in you."
She did send me a message a few minutes ago, though, that kinda puts me back in the "she does" frame of mind:
That was very unexpected! I felt like she had really cooled off a lot lately, and this was pretty warm.
"Can you pretty please share both yours and her chart? Curios to know the other planets in play here particularly moon, mercury, mars, and venus"
She told me her info this evening. She was born 11/12/90 at 9:00am, in Mexico City, Mexico. I did a comparison, and the relationship seems pretty positive; not perfect, but generally positive.
"stop worrying whether she likes you or not. Obviously she does."
AgentP911:
"She's NOT interested in you."
She did send me a message a few minutes ago, though, that kinda puts me back in the "she does" frame of mind:
I was waiting for u today
Wishing
To see u
At work
Idk
Maybe i m getting used to see u
That was very unexpected! I felt like she had really cooled off a lot lately, and this was pretty warm.
"Can you pretty please share both yours and her chart? Curios to know the other planets in play here particularly moon, mercury, mars, and venus"
She told me her info this evening. She was born 11/12/90 at 9:00am, in Mexico City, Mexico. I did a comparison, and the relationship seems pretty positive; not perfect, but generally positive.
"Can't tell if my Scorpio woman is interested"
If you don't even know if she is interested and/or haven't even had the talk about exclusivity, you can't refer to her as yours.
Yet so many people do this.
Yeah I'm no help. Boo.
If you don't even know if she is interested and/or haven't even had the talk about exclusivity, you can't refer to her as yours.
Yet so many people do this.
Yeah I'm no help. Boo.
True, Anu. I actually had to try several variations on the subject, because this board kept cutting off my better ones. I started with "my love interest", but it didn't fit.
That really does seem dead-on accurate. But it also sounds like she would gladly cheat if we were together, just for the fun of it, and probably not even think of it as cheating. Just like she currently doesn't understand why it bothers me for her to tell another guy that she loves him and wants to be with him.
That's not what I would consider to be a positive trait, at all.
This is for her, I this can explains a bit
Sun Scorpio (strong willed, secretive, intense emotions)
Mars Gemini (can get bored easily and jump back and forth, likely to cheat)
Venus Scorpio (cautious, all or nothing in love)
Virgo Moon (worries too much, reserved, modest, shy)
That really does seem dead-on accurate. But it also sounds like she would gladly cheat if we were together, just for the fun of it, and probably not even think of it as cheating. Just like she currently doesn't understand why it bothers me for her to tell another guy that she loves him and wants to be with him.
That's not what I would consider to be a positive trait, at all.
Posted by AgentP911
Fella, I'm a Scorp.
She's NOT interested in you.
However, if you're hot then feel free to send me that pic of your sunburn! 😉
😆
dude55,
She missed you.
She missed you.
I reckon if she said she was interested and made a definite move towards him that he'd run the other way. Suddenly the chase loses its appeal...
What is it, exactly, that you like about this girl who is almost 15 years your junior and who already has a divorce and two kids to her name?
You're searching for any little scrap of anything which might indicate even the smallest of small hints that she might like you even 1% .
You're picking and analysing every single word, message, chat (typical Virgo) and making it fit what you want. You're so concerned with the smaller details that the bigger picture is going unnoticed. You're looking over 'there' when you should be looking right in front of you, so to speak.
Her behaviour is not that of someone who is interested. She may not be taking you seriously. There is a large age gap. She doesn't sound mature to me despite what you say.
She LOVES the attention. It's bullshit attention. The reality is that she's wasting her time with pointless messages with some dude miles away who probably cannot get a visa to visit her and probably cannot afford the plane ticket. She's not looking for anything real with this guy. Meanwhile, you're stood right in front of her yet she's not doing anything but playing with you like a kitten with a ball of wool. Every time you cool off she comes back with another bullshit message to give you a tid bit and keep you hooked.
Why?
Because she can.
In some way, it's kind of refreshing to see a guy being strung along for once. In another way, it's not nice at all.
If she was interested. You'd know about it.
You need to ask yourself why or what it is about her you're interested in. There doesn't seem much there and whatever you think is there is in your head.
What is it, exactly, that you like about this girl who is almost 15 years your junior and who already has a divorce and two kids to her name?
You're searching for any little scrap of anything which might indicate even the smallest of small hints that she might like you even 1% .
You're picking and analysing every single word, message, chat (typical Virgo) and making it fit what you want. You're so concerned with the smaller details that the bigger picture is going unnoticed. You're looking over 'there' when you should be looking right in front of you, so to speak.
Her behaviour is not that of someone who is interested. She may not be taking you seriously. There is a large age gap. She doesn't sound mature to me despite what you say.
She LOVES the attention. It's bullshit attention. The reality is that she's wasting her time with pointless messages with some dude miles away who probably cannot get a visa to visit her and probably cannot afford the plane ticket. She's not looking for anything real with this guy. Meanwhile, you're stood right in front of her yet she's not doing anything but playing with you like a kitten with a ball of wool. Every time you cool off she comes back with another bullshit message to give you a tid bit and keep you hooked.
Why?
Because she can.
In some way, it's kind of refreshing to see a guy being strung along for once. In another way, it's not nice at all.
If she was interested. You'd know about it.
You need to ask yourself why or what it is about her you're interested in. There doesn't seem much there and whatever you think is there is in your head.
I reckon if she said she was interested and made a definite move towards him that he'd run the other way. Suddenly the chase loses its appeal...
You mean that I would lose interest without the chase? Oh, I'm quite the opposite of that! I hate games, and find the whole concept of chasing someone to be tiring, childish, and irritating.
What is it, exactly, that you like about this girl who is almost 15 years your junior and who already has a divorce and two kids to her name?
Excellent question! The answer is a little more complicated, though.
When this first began, remember that we would talk for hours on end, every day. I had actually only seen her in person twice (briefly) before we began talking online (which she initiated), so our connection (for me) was almost entirely emotional and intellectual. We had interesting discussions about things like religion and foreign politics, we talked about emotional issues like my recent break-up and her fighting with her family, etc. I thought it was a very deep connection.
After she asked me on a date the first time, we did have a brief discussion about the age difference. I don't look my age at all (most people would say late 20's), and I was concerned that she might have thought I was much younger. She WAS surprised, but not turned off by it; at least, she said she wasn't. Her words: "that's OK, I don't want to date a baby".
We also talked about her children, and I don't want to bore you with the details. But briefly, I pointed out that her being a good mother was a very attractive quality to me.
After that, she really made me feel special; as I mentioned before, she would wake up early to text me before I went to bed, and she would stay up late to chat with me... often falling asleep while chatting with me. She would call me a few pet names, and would say sweet things in Arabic because she knew I didn't understand them (eg, "wahashtini awiiiiii", which means, "I miss you a looooot"). It was sweet, and made me feel loved. That's not something I feel very often.
During that period (the first 6-8 weeks), I don't think I was reaching for scraps at all. I felt like it was pretty clear that she was in to me.
continued...
You mean that I would lose interest without the chase? Oh, I'm quite the opposite of that! I hate games, and find the whole concept of chasing someone to be tiring, childish, and irritating.
What is it, exactly, that you like about this girl who is almost 15 years your junior and who already has a divorce and two kids to her name?
Excellent question! The answer is a little more complicated, though.
When this first began, remember that we would talk for hours on end, every day. I had actually only seen her in person twice (briefly) before we began talking online (which she initiated), so our connection (for me) was almost entirely emotional and intellectual. We had interesting discussions about things like religion and foreign politics, we talked about emotional issues like my recent break-up and her fighting with her family, etc. I thought it was a very deep connection.
After she asked me on a date the first time, we did have a brief discussion about the age difference. I don't look my age at all (most people would say late 20's), and I was concerned that she might have thought I was much younger. She WAS surprised, but not turned off by it; at least, she said she wasn't. Her words: "that's OK, I don't want to date a baby".
We also talked about her children, and I don't want to bore you with the details. But briefly, I pointed out that her being a good mother was a very attractive quality to me.
After that, she really made me feel special; as I mentioned before, she would wake up early to text me before I went to bed, and she would stay up late to chat with me... often falling asleep while chatting with me. She would call me a few pet names, and would say sweet things in Arabic because she knew I didn't understand them (eg, "wahashtini awiiiiii", which means, "I miss you a looooot"). It was sweet, and made me feel loved. That's not something I feel very often.
During that period (the first 6-8 weeks), I don't think I was reaching for scraps at all. I felt like it was pretty clear that she was in to me.
continued...
It's the period after that that's gotten confusing. She went from hundreds of messages a week to a handful. She went from texting me when she first woke up to texting me every few days. And she started openly flirting with her Egyptian friend. But at the same time, she would ask me to come see her, get off work early to sit with me when I did, and act sad (or angry) when I didn't.
And when I confronted her with the fact that her flirting with him was hurting me and that I was going to back off, it sent her in to a depression for 4 days, during which time she disabled her FB page and didn't talk to anybody.
Just a few weeks earlier, she was mad that I didn't come see her at work (I was a few minutes late and missed her). Then, too, I asked if she wanted me to go away, and she acted horrified: "What? Noooo way!!".
What I want is for her to act like she did before. I want her to make it obvious that she's in to me, and make me feel special, like before. What I'm trying to figure out here, though, is whether that ship has sailed. I was 100% convinced that it was, and was ready to bail, but then her message tonight that she was wishing she could see me was reminiscent of things that she used to say.
The worst thing here is that I don't know what's going on in the background. After the divorce, she's now living with her dad, and they fight a lot. Maybe they've been fighting for the last few weeks. Maybe she's been getting pressured from her ex. School is about to end and she'll have to find daycare while she works, so maybe money is stressing her out. For all I know, I could be reading everything as a reflection on me, when she might just have a lot going on right now.
Or, maybe it's exactly what she said... she's really just shy. Maybe she's brave when she thinks it doesn't mean anything, but when it gets serious she gets shy and nervous.
It would be nice to be able to read minds, if just for a day... :-)
And when I confronted her with the fact that her flirting with him was hurting me and that I was going to back off, it sent her in to a depression for 4 days, during which time she disabled her FB page and didn't talk to anybody.
Just a few weeks earlier, she was mad that I didn't come see her at work (I was a few minutes late and missed her). Then, too, I asked if she wanted me to go away, and she acted horrified: "What? Noooo way!!".
What I want is for her to act like she did before. I want her to make it obvious that she's in to me, and make me feel special, like before. What I'm trying to figure out here, though, is whether that ship has sailed. I was 100% convinced that it was, and was ready to bail, but then her message tonight that she was wishing she could see me was reminiscent of things that she used to say.
The worst thing here is that I don't know what's going on in the background. After the divorce, she's now living with her dad, and they fight a lot. Maybe they've been fighting for the last few weeks. Maybe she's been getting pressured from her ex. School is about to end and she'll have to find daycare while she works, so maybe money is stressing her out. For all I know, I could be reading everything as a reflection on me, when she might just have a lot going on right now.
Or, maybe it's exactly what she said... she's really just shy. Maybe she's brave when she thinks it doesn't mean anything, but when it gets serious she gets shy and nervous.
It would be nice to be able to read minds, if just for a day... :-)
Stop spinning in circles.
I overthink a lot too but God damn..
I overthink a lot too but God damn..
^^^ lol
@OP. Please grow up. You are 39 years of age but you are acting more like her age (25)!!
OK? I'm not sure that I understand the insulting tone, but OK. I'm not sure what part of this is acting like I'm 25, but I guess I can't be too shocked by that. After leaving a 20 year relationship, I've only dated one other girl. So, emotionally, I guess that I do have the experience of a 25 year old.
You cant get someone to do what YOU WANT them to do!! They have feelings and emotions all of their own.
LOL Whaaat? I do hope you'll explain what I said to make you think that I was implying something like that.
And you may think your "virgo traits" have disappeared. But I can guarantee you by just reading your "analytical analysis" above, your virgo traits are very much alive and KICKING!!
I never said "disappeared", I said, "I used to act more like a Virgo, but as I've gotten older my Leo side has taken over... although I can still be a bit of an emotion-driven romantic sometimes."
It is kind of interesting to read over this thread myself, though. In real life, people have often asked if I'm a Leo unprompted, so I guess that my personality and business mind is more like a Leo. But inside and emotionally, maybe I'm more of a Virgo.
Please do yourself a favour and cut this down to experience. Move on with your life and date someone of your own age.
Is that an offer? LOL Because, as I said before, finding an active, fit, attractive, friendly, and single 39 year old woman in a somewhat rural area isn't the easiest job in the world. In fact, I have yet to meet one.
Virgos like to "control" too and to feel needed. Perhaps that is your general attraction to her ie she is young (control) and has two young kids on her own (need) .... move on .
Nope, not at all. As I explained last night, the general attraction was based on a mutual intellectual and emotional connection, before I really even knew her age. We had only seen each other twice at that point (briefly), and I hadn't paid that much attention to her, so I had no idea how old she was at the time.
continued...
OK? I'm not sure that I understand the insulting tone, but OK. I'm not sure what part of this is acting like I'm 25, but I guess I can't be too shocked by that. After leaving a 20 year relationship, I've only dated one other girl. So, emotionally, I guess that I do have the experience of a 25 year old.
You cant get someone to do what YOU WANT them to do!! They have feelings and emotions all of their own.
LOL Whaaat? I do hope you'll explain what I said to make you think that I was implying something like that.
And you may think your "virgo traits" have disappeared. But I can guarantee you by just reading your "analytical analysis" above, your virgo traits are very much alive and KICKING!!
I never said "disappeared", I said, "I used to act more like a Virgo, but as I've gotten older my Leo side has taken over... although I can still be a bit of an emotion-driven romantic sometimes."
It is kind of interesting to read over this thread myself, though. In real life, people have often asked if I'm a Leo unprompted, so I guess that my personality and business mind is more like a Leo. But inside and emotionally, maybe I'm more of a Virgo.
Please do yourself a favour and cut this down to experience. Move on with your life and date someone of your own age.
Is that an offer? LOL Because, as I said before, finding an active, fit, attractive, friendly, and single 39 year old woman in a somewhat rural area isn't the easiest job in the world. In fact, I have yet to meet one.
Virgos like to "control" too and to feel needed. Perhaps that is your general attraction to her ie she is young (control) and has two young kids on her own (need) .... move on .
Nope, not at all. As I explained last night, the general attraction was based on a mutual intellectual and emotional connection, before I really even knew her age. We had only seen each other twice at that point (briefly), and I hadn't paid that much attention to her, so I had no idea how old she was at the time.
continued...
You are just amusing for attention for her when she gets bored or needs a break from her usual routine.
On this, you may be right.
I should point out, though, that I was her usual routine for 8-9 weeks. Then there was a lull for 2-3 weeks, and as of yesterday she's returned to her old self... sweet messages, a text this morning when she woke up, and she's been talking to me a lot today. It almost makes me wonder if she's read this thread.
So while there were several red flags for the last 2-3 weeks, how can we be sure that that period reflected her true feelings, as opposed to the 8-9 weeks before, and now? I don't think that's an immature question to ask, I'm simply trying to not make a rash decision.
Besides, it's not like I have any other "prospects" at the moment.
I have backed away emotionally, almost entirely. If I'm just "fun" for her right now, then that's fine, I like to have fun, too. And it's better than working 24/7. But I'm not completely closing the door on the potential.
On this, you may be right.
I should point out, though, that I was her usual routine for 8-9 weeks. Then there was a lull for 2-3 weeks, and as of yesterday she's returned to her old self... sweet messages, a text this morning when she woke up, and she's been talking to me a lot today. It almost makes me wonder if she's read this thread.
So while there were several red flags for the last 2-3 weeks, how can we be sure that that period reflected her true feelings, as opposed to the 8-9 weeks before, and now? I don't think that's an immature question to ask, I'm simply trying to not make a rash decision.
Besides, it's not like I have any other "prospects" at the moment.
I have backed away emotionally, almost entirely. If I'm just "fun" for her right now, then that's fine, I like to have fun, too. And it's better than working 24/7. But I'm not completely closing the door on the potential.
^^^ potential...
That's the problem. You're seeing the 'potential' not the 'reality' here.
That's the problem. You're seeing the 'potential' not the 'reality' here.
Posted by csdude55
In the beginning, after she asked me on a date for the first time, I asked her what she was looking for; friend, flirt buddy, relationship, or what. She said that she's looking for a serious relationship.
Now, whether that's changed and she didn't tell me, or whether she was just telling me what she thought I wanted to hear at the time... I don't know. Maybe. But I did make it clear that I was looking for a serious relationship, not just someone to have fun with. So after we stopped talking for a few months, and then she reached out to me again in March, she should have known that I would still be wanting something more serious than a flirt buddy.
I am not going to even attempt to read through the novel you wrote on the last few pages, but this stood out to me as the main issue you're struggling with.
Just because you've stated your expectation (e.g. wanting a serious relationship) does not mean you relinquish control to the other person. In other words, sticking around when she clearly hasn't given you any reason to continue this "dance" as if you do not have a choice here. People will still try to offer you crumbs if you let them---even if you clearly stated your expectations. When they do it's up to you to say "this isn't good enough" and move on, not try to turn those crumbs into a meal. What she should know is irrelevant and isn't really the issue. Your inability to hold firm to the expectations you've set is.
I am not going to even attempt to read through the novel you wrote on the last few pages...
Sorry. I focus on details for a living, and often write reports / proposals / presentations that are 40-50 pages long, overnight. So writing a 3-paragraph synopsis might seem excessive to you, but to me it's painfully brief, and leaves out WAY too many details! LOL
I do kind of want to clarify my feelings here, though. I'm not madly in love, or painfully grasping at straws, which is what I think many of you are thinking. If she told me tomorrow that she has decided to go back to her ex and that she and I can just be friends, I'd be OK. I'd be disappointed, sure, but OK.
I've mainly just been trying to figure out her intent. If she's taking me seriously, then great, I can do that, too. But if she's not, then it's not a tragedy, I'm OK with just having fun. I think my (over) analytical nature has made that point unclear here.
But it really is interesting to see the different points of view. For me, if I wasn't at least somewhat serious about someone, I simply wouldn't waste my time. At all! I definitely don't see the point in playing with somebody, leading them on, or pretending to have feelings that don't exist, if that person has no long term value. That just seems like an illogical waste of time to me. Which, of course, is why I was confused by her intent.
Sorry. I focus on details for a living, and often write reports / proposals / presentations that are 40-50 pages long, overnight. So writing a 3-paragraph synopsis might seem excessive to you, but to me it's painfully brief, and leaves out WAY too many details! LOL
I do kind of want to clarify my feelings here, though. I'm not madly in love, or painfully grasping at straws, which is what I think many of you are thinking. If she told me tomorrow that she has decided to go back to her ex and that she and I can just be friends, I'd be OK. I'd be disappointed, sure, but OK.
I've mainly just been trying to figure out her intent. If she's taking me seriously, then great, I can do that, too. But if she's not, then it's not a tragedy, I'm OK with just having fun. I think my (over) analytical nature has made that point unclear here.
But it really is interesting to see the different points of view. For me, if I wasn't at least somewhat serious about someone, I simply wouldn't waste my time. At all! I definitely don't see the point in playing with somebody, leading them on, or pretending to have feelings that don't exist, if that person has no long term value. That just seems like an illogical waste of time to me. Which, of course, is why I was confused by her intent.
Just something interesting that helped contribute to my confusion:
http://scorpioland.org/scorpio-dating-tip-9-scorpio-move-yet/<BR>
I'll find out on Saturday whether I'm in the friend zone, one way or another! Either way, the confusion ends this weekend.
Scorpio Dating Tip # 9
So, the Scorpio wants to bed everyone but you?
It means 1 of 2 things:
1. You're in the Friend Zone.
2. You're too special to sabotage and the Scorpio wants to proceed cautiously while debating whether or not you are the one.
http://scorpioland.org/scorpio-dating-tip-9-scorpio-move-yet/<BR>
I'll find out on Saturday whether I'm in the friend zone, one way or another! Either way, the confusion ends this weekend.
Posted by csdude55
I am not going to even attempt to read through the novel you wrote on the last few pages...
Sorry. I focus on details for a living, and often write reports / proposals / presentations that are 40-50 pages long, overnight. So writing a 3-paragraph synopsis might seem excessive to you, but to me it's painfully brief, and leaves out WAY too many details! LOL
No need to apologize. I'm use to it. Two days ago I called my sister (a Virgo) to ask her advice about something rather simple and ended up on the phone for 3 hours. I don't think Virgos know how to be concise, even if their lives depended on it. For example, that ^^^up there could have been summed up to "Sorry. I focus on details for a living." 😛. I tease....but not really.
Anyway,
Posted by csdude55
But it really is interesting to see the different points of view. For me, if I wasn't at least somewhat serious about someone, I simply wouldn't waste my time. At all! I definitely don't see the point in playing with somebody, leading them on, or pretending to have feelings that don't exist, if that person has no long term value. That just seems like an illogical waste of time to me. Which, of course, is why I was confused by her intent.click to expand
Right. Feelings are logical after all.... 😛. The thing is, the world isn't made up of you or people that mirror your way of thinking. Your need to find logic in her behaviour is part of the reason you're stuck right now, picking apart a simply hug or the offering of a snack in an effort to understand its underlying meaning. There are people with baggage, along with a whole list of other things that influence why and when they do something. The simple "I like you, so I will pursue you in a straighfoward way" tends to apply to people that aren't saddled with those additional issues.
If you want to simplify this to astrology, you are dealing with a water sign. We are ruled by our emotions, especially when it comes to personal matter. That is not to suggest water signs lack the ability to think logically, but to highlight the fact that we simply utilize our emotions much more to make decisions. As you are aware feelings change. Frequently.
Last thing, I get the whole "she knows I'm looking for a serious relationship" issue you're stuck on. She may have been---and still is looking for one too. However, it appears that at some point that shifted for her as it relates to you (d*mn water signs >😢) and although she no longer see you as a romantic interest she sees value in keeping you around because you have traits she appreciates and values. Perhaps she values your friendship and enjoys your company. You may not see the "long term value" in those feelings and think it's a waste of time, but Scorps don't generally think that way. Finding someone your comfortable with and truly like, as a friend is very valuable---even if it never becomes more than that.
At the end of the day you could simply do the logical thing and simply ask her outright "are you interested in me romantically and if so, why are you putting distance between us", but you don't want to go there do you? A little assertiveness goes a long way with a Scorp.
At the end of the day you could simply do the logical thing and simply ask her outright "are you interested in me romantically and if so, why are you putting distance between us", but you don't want to go there do you? A little assertiveness goes a long way with a Scorp.
There may be some typos up there *shrug*. I tend not to care as much about correcting them when I'm interacting with Virgos. It may be because I know it gets under your skin 😈.
Phoenix took the time to read all your goddamn thought ramblings..bless her scorpio soul.
Just..stop. Stop.
Just..stop. Stop.
Posted by csdude55
Just something interesting that helped contribute to my confusion:
Scorpio Dating Tip # 9
So, the Scorpio wants to bed everyone but you?
It means 1 of 2 things:
1. You're in the Friend Zone.
2. You're too special to sabotage and the Scorpio wants to proceed cautiously while debating whether or not you are the one.
http://scorpioland.org/scorpio-dating-tip-9-scorpio-move-yet/<BR>
I'll find out on Saturday whether I'm in the friend zone, one way or another! Either way, the confusion ends this weekend.click to expand
This is true for me.
You are in the friend zone.
Right. Feelings are logical after all....
LOL Well, to me, they are! The last girl that I was with told me she loved me and wanted to be with me forever, and I loved her deeply. Then when she told me that she didn't love me anymore, my feelings went away within minutes. My soul was crushed, but then it all just went away because it was no longer logical.
At the end of the day you could simply do the logical thing and simply ask her outright "are you interested in me romantically and if so, why are you putting distance between us", but you don't want to go there do you? A little assertiveness goes a long way with a Scorp.
Oh, I've gone there, a few times!! She always says that, yes, she is still interested, buuuut... something. The most recent "something" is that her ex is pressuring her to go back to him, and her dad is pressuring her, too, because he wants her to move out. And she's considering it, mainly for financial reasons, even though (she says) that she doesn't love him.
(Is this her way or telling me that she may be ditching me soon, or asking me to make a play?)
That's where I really get stuck, I think. She says that she's interested, but then doesn't make an effort to be with me (other than asking me to come see her at work). In person, she acts like she likes me (all the signs are there; touching me, giggling a lot, sitting close to me, sharing food, etc), but online she's distanced herself a bit. If she has other things on her mind, then it's perfectly understandable that romance might not be her top priority right now, and that's OK... except when she's on her FB wall and flirting with her Egyptian friend instead of me.
Unless, of course, the Egyptian friend just represents a way to blow off a little steam, where if she said the same things to me then it would turn in to something.
So do I believe her excuse(s), or are they just excuses to keep me on the line? That's where I get stuck. I don't usually lie, so I tend to trust people. But past experience makes me worry about always being the fool that won't take a hint, too.
Back and forth we go. Regardless, all should be clear on Saturday.
LOL Well, to me, they are! The last girl that I was with told me she loved me and wanted to be with me forever, and I loved her deeply. Then when she told me that she didn't love me anymore, my feelings went away within minutes. My soul was crushed, but then it all just went away because it was no longer logical.
At the end of the day you could simply do the logical thing and simply ask her outright "are you interested in me romantically and if so, why are you putting distance between us", but you don't want to go there do you? A little assertiveness goes a long way with a Scorp.
Oh, I've gone there, a few times!! She always says that, yes, she is still interested, buuuut... something. The most recent "something" is that her ex is pressuring her to go back to him, and her dad is pressuring her, too, because he wants her to move out. And she's considering it, mainly for financial reasons, even though (she says) that she doesn't love him.
(Is this her way or telling me that she may be ditching me soon, or asking me to make a play?)
That's where I really get stuck, I think. She says that she's interested, but then doesn't make an effort to be with me (other than asking me to come see her at work). In person, she acts like she likes me (all the signs are there; touching me, giggling a lot, sitting close to me, sharing food, etc), but online she's distanced herself a bit. If she has other things on her mind, then it's perfectly understandable that romance might not be her top priority right now, and that's OK... except when she's on her FB wall and flirting with her Egyptian friend instead of me.
Unless, of course, the Egyptian friend just represents a way to blow off a little steam, where if she said the same things to me then it would turn in to something.
So do I believe her excuse(s), or are they just excuses to keep me on the line? That's where I get stuck. I don't usually lie, so I tend to trust people. But past experience makes me worry about always being the fool that won't take a hint, too.
Back and forth we go. Regardless, all should be clear on Saturday.
Sorry dude, she likes the attention and you are bringing in business to the establishment she works at
FWIW, every time I go to see her, she insists on paying for my food.
Phoenix took the time to read all your goddamn thought ramblings..bless her scorpio soul.
Just..stop. Stop.
I truly apologize. I didn't realize that reading my thread was mandatory.
FWIW, every time I go to see her, she insists on paying for my food.
Phoenix took the time to read all your goddamn thought ramblings..bless her scorpio soul.
Just..stop. Stop.
I truly apologize. I didn't realize that reading my thread was mandatory.
Hi csdude55,
All the best for Saturday. Hopefully all will be clear, or at least clearer. 🙂
I like the level of detail you've gone into. You've conveyed things very clearly, and conversationally, making what has transpired easy to follow for me.
I'm a Scorpio woman and while that doesn't make me an expert on all Scorpio women, hopefully what I'm picking up on will be helpful in some way to you. I'm a rather Virgo-like Scorpio thanks to several planets in the 6th house. The way that you express yourself reminds me of myself at times, so that helps too.
I think that your desire to be helpful - to help this woman with any issues she has - comes from a good place, but from what you've conveyed about her I don't think she's stable enough to actually work on herself. She also comes across as very immature from what you've detailed, but I don't blame her age for that because I've known people who are younger than her who are more mature and responsible with how they treat people.
I found myself feeling angry at the lack of respect she has shown you at times, notably when she didn't apologize for cancelling on you, and also for dragging things out so much with her "yet but" type responses about having more than a friendship with you. She doesn't seem to be able, or willing, to put herself into someone else's shoes. If this Egyptian guy believes that she loves him, likely he has told her so, and she shouldn't play a game with him, and if she actually thinks she loves him and is lying to you then that, of course, is bad too. It's bad no matter what - nothing redeems it unfortunately.
I think that even if she agreed to date you she'd be very difficult to deal with, and likely would "run" in many different ways, like she already has. I think she likes you as a person but can't handle being more than friends - she's too troubled and self involved to make a good partner at this time, if ever.
All the best for Saturday. Hopefully all will be clear, or at least clearer. 🙂
I like the level of detail you've gone into. You've conveyed things very clearly, and conversationally, making what has transpired easy to follow for me.
I'm a Scorpio woman and while that doesn't make me an expert on all Scorpio women, hopefully what I'm picking up on will be helpful in some way to you. I'm a rather Virgo-like Scorpio thanks to several planets in the 6th house. The way that you express yourself reminds me of myself at times, so that helps too.
I think that your desire to be helpful - to help this woman with any issues she has - comes from a good place, but from what you've conveyed about her I don't think she's stable enough to actually work on herself. She also comes across as very immature from what you've detailed, but I don't blame her age for that because I've known people who are younger than her who are more mature and responsible with how they treat people.
I found myself feeling angry at the lack of respect she has shown you at times, notably when she didn't apologize for cancelling on you, and also for dragging things out so much with her "yet but" type responses about having more than a friendship with you. She doesn't seem to be able, or willing, to put herself into someone else's shoes. If this Egyptian guy believes that she loves him, likely he has told her so, and she shouldn't play a game with him, and if she actually thinks she loves him and is lying to you then that, of course, is bad too. It's bad no matter what - nothing redeems it unfortunately.
I think that even if she agreed to date you she'd be very difficult to deal with, and likely would "run" in many different ways, like she already has. I think she likes you as a person but can't handle being more than friends - she's too troubled and self involved to make a good partner at this time, if ever.
-- I want to add that I don't think she's capable of being a good friend to you either, from what you've described, thanks to how out of touch she seems to be with herself and how to treat people with respect consistently.
Again I don't blame her age, I blame whatever issues she has personally that she's holding onto. Perhaps she has a past filled with abuse of some kind. I've seen this kind of behaviour/pattern with people with that in their history. Sad, but they need to get outside help, sometimes professional, when that's the case, and it can take a long time for them to be ready to have healthy relationships.
It's good that you aren't deeply in love so it won't be more than disappointing to you if it doesn't work out the way you're hoping.
And if I'm wrong and she's capable of being wonderful with you, that's super of course. It just doesn't seem likely at this point in time to me.
Again I don't blame her age, I blame whatever issues she has personally that she's holding onto. Perhaps she has a past filled with abuse of some kind. I've seen this kind of behaviour/pattern with people with that in their history. Sad, but they need to get outside help, sometimes professional, when that's the case, and it can take a long time for them to be ready to have healthy relationships.
It's good that you aren't deeply in love so it won't be more than disappointing to you if it doesn't work out the way you're hoping.
And if I'm wrong and she's capable of being wonderful with you, that's super of course. It just doesn't seem likely at this point in time to me.
I like the level of detail you've gone into. You've conveyed things very clearly, and conversationally, making what has transpired easy to follow for me.
Thank you :-) I've always been pretty detailed and verbose on message boards, and I simply don't understand how I could have gotten the details across without giving... details.
I found myself feeling angry at the lack of respect she has shown you at times, notably when she didn't apologize for cancelling on you, and also for dragging things out so much with her "yet but" type responses about having more than a friendship with you. She doesn't seem to be able, or willing, to put herself into someone else's shoes.
This is very true! And why I originally stopped talking to her for so long. After I called her out on it, she was very apologetic and upset that she had hurt me, but she clearly had no understanding of just how rude it was to stand me up. I had gone to some pretty great lengths to plan a perfect date, for nothing.
The odd thing is that she's completely different in person than online, possibly due to her messaging me through a phone. Most of her responses are I blame whatever issues she has personally that she's holding onto. Perhaps she has a past filled with abuse of some kind. I've seen this kind of behaviour/pattern with people with that in their history.
This could easily be the case. After all this time, she hasn't told me what happened to her mom, or why she left her ex. She's obviously pretty shy and secretive, but I wouldn't be shocked for there to have been some abuse there. Unfortunately, though, that brings out the White Knight in me, so I kinda wish you hadn't brought it up! LOL
Update: I guess none of it really matters, I think that I accidentally ruined any potential myself.
Before talking to her, I briefly dated her friend (Nov-Dec 2014). She knew about it, because we talked about it in December, but I guess she forgot. I mentioned it in passing tonight (eg, "that was right before blah-blah and I broke up"), and she got VERY jealous, quiet, and distant. She said that she didn't know, and kept asking details... Did you kiss her? Were you in a relationship?
I told her the truth, and apologized profusely for bringing it up because I truly thought she knew. I really do f
Thank you :-) I've always been pretty detailed and verbose on message boards, and I simply don't understand how I could have gotten the details across without giving... details.
I found myself feeling angry at the lack of respect she has shown you at times, notably when she didn't apologize for cancelling on you, and also for dragging things out so much with her "yet but" type responses about having more than a friendship with you. She doesn't seem to be able, or willing, to put herself into someone else's shoes.
This is very true! And why I originally stopped talking to her for so long. After I called her out on it, she was very apologetic and upset that she had hurt me, but she clearly had no understanding of just how rude it was to stand me up. I had gone to some pretty great lengths to plan a perfect date, for nothing.
The odd thing is that she's completely different in person than online, possibly due to her messaging me through a phone. Most of her responses are I blame whatever issues she has personally that she's holding onto. Perhaps she has a past filled with abuse of some kind. I've seen this kind of behaviour/pattern with people with that in their history.
This could easily be the case. After all this time, she hasn't told me what happened to her mom, or why she left her ex. She's obviously pretty shy and secretive, but I wouldn't be shocked for there to have been some abuse there. Unfortunately, though, that brings out the White Knight in me, so I kinda wish you hadn't brought it up! LOL
Update: I guess none of it really matters, I think that I accidentally ruined any potential myself.
Before talking to her, I briefly dated her friend (Nov-Dec 2014). She knew about it, because we talked about it in December, but I guess she forgot. I mentioned it in passing tonight (eg, "that was right before blah-blah and I broke up"), and she got VERY jealous, quiet, and distant. She said that she didn't know, and kept asking details... Did you kiss her? Were you in a relationship?
I told her the truth, and apologized profusely for bringing it up because I truly thought she knew. I really do f
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She contacted me again at the end of March, just to say hi, and we've been talking ever since.
She goes through occasional periods of depression, and at one point (back in December) mentioned having medicine for it.
In the beginning of our re-connection, we talked online all day, every day; literally, hundreds of messages sent each week. She would send me a message as soon as she woke up, then I would send her a message when I got home from work, and we would chat all night until she went to sleep. She acted like she really liked me, always talking about me being "awesome", but would never commit to a date; presumably because she has children and no one to watch them. She asked me to come see her at work several times, though. I would come see her at 2 when she would get off work, and she would sit and eat with me before leaving at 3 to go pick up her kids.
I've gotten EXTREMELY confusing mixed signals, though, so I can't determine whether she's really interested in me, leading me on, or if I'm in the friend zone and she just doesn't want to tell me.
A FEW SIGNS THAT SHE'S NOT REALLY INTERESTED
1. She will not admit to liking me. I'll bring it up, and she'll reply with a :-) or something. I've told her several times that I like her, care about her, want to be with her, etc, but all I get in reply is a :-) or something similar. In person, she says that she's just shy, which is kind of an unexpected (unbeli