Dude
@csdude55
10 YearsVirgo
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Can't tell if my Scorpio woman is interested (Page 2)
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She's still NOT into you.
She's still NOT into you.
Hi again csdude55,
Some people can seem cold or curt when texting and/or e-mail compared to how they speak, it's true. I always find it odd because that's not the way people I'm close with do things, usually - they show consideration via text/e-mail and when speaking, at least in a small way with "sorry" and "thank you" at least, and those kinds of statements.
"This could easily be the case. After all this time, she hasn't told me what happened to her mom, or why she left her ex. She's obviously pretty shy and secretive, but I wouldn't be shocked for there to have been some abuse there. Unfortunately, though, that brings out the White Knight in me, so I kinda wish you hadn't brought it up! LOL"
Sorry, lol! 🙂
The problem is that being a "rescuer" like you're tinging into with that can be very damaging for both people when problems are not minor. You'd be assuming a father role more than a boyfriend role too, and even if you were her father it isn't something for you to take on and think that you can help her with. Support, yes, but if she hasn't opened up to you yet about certain things, so she doesn't trust you fully yet, and may never. This isn't because you aren't trustworthy, I'm not implying that.
If she was abused, which you feel is possible, she may be overly cautious about trusting people. Not just shy or a bit secretive, instead it can be low level paranoia to some degree. You may think that surely over time she will see that she can trust you if you show enough loyalty and consideration, but that isn't how it works with someone who is very troubled usually. They will continue to feel fear, and sometimes will deny that, but it rules them in a way that is hard to comprehend unless you have experience with that kind of fear and have overcome it yourself..
They can tend to form relationships that aren't truly close and if those relationships do get close they distance from the person, then they might come back, then off they go running again when things seem too close once more. She initiated some things with you and probably felt in control at that point, then didn't feel in control when you showed that you had deeper feelings for her. I wonder if she can identify that she's doing this in the first place. She isn't self aware enough to see her patterns, it seems - you've had to point things out to her.
I don't see why what happened with talking about dating her friend in the past would ruin anything if she cares about you
Some people can seem cold or curt when texting and/or e-mail compared to how they speak, it's true. I always find it odd because that's not the way people I'm close with do things, usually - they show consideration via text/e-mail and when speaking, at least in a small way with "sorry" and "thank you" at least, and those kinds of statements.
"This could easily be the case. After all this time, she hasn't told me what happened to her mom, or why she left her ex. She's obviously pretty shy and secretive, but I wouldn't be shocked for there to have been some abuse there. Unfortunately, though, that brings out the White Knight in me, so I kinda wish you hadn't brought it up! LOL"
Sorry, lol! 🙂
The problem is that being a "rescuer" like you're tinging into with that can be very damaging for both people when problems are not minor. You'd be assuming a father role more than a boyfriend role too, and even if you were her father it isn't something for you to take on and think that you can help her with. Support, yes, but if she hasn't opened up to you yet about certain things, so she doesn't trust you fully yet, and may never. This isn't because you aren't trustworthy, I'm not implying that.
If she was abused, which you feel is possible, she may be overly cautious about trusting people. Not just shy or a bit secretive, instead it can be low level paranoia to some degree. You may think that surely over time she will see that she can trust you if you show enough loyalty and consideration, but that isn't how it works with someone who is very troubled usually. They will continue to feel fear, and sometimes will deny that, but it rules them in a way that is hard to comprehend unless you have experience with that kind of fear and have overcome it yourself..
They can tend to form relationships that aren't truly close and if those relationships do get close they distance from the person, then they might come back, then off they go running again when things seem too close once more. She initiated some things with you and probably felt in control at that point, then didn't feel in control when you showed that you had deeper feelings for her. I wonder if she can identify that she's doing this in the first place. She isn't self aware enough to see her patterns, it seems - you've had to point things out to her.
I don't see why what happened with talking about dating her friend in the past would ruin anything if she cares about you
Continued:
in the way that you're hoping if she's stable enough to handle it. I don't think she's stable, that still stands out to me. It's the truth and not disrespectful that you mentioned it.
It's odd that she doesn't remember that you already told her about it. She likely doesn't pay as much attention to things that you say compared to how much attention you pay to things that she says. Also, are you sure that she was jealous? Maybe she was just curious.
in the way that you're hoping if she's stable enough to handle it. I don't think she's stable, that still stands out to me. It's the truth and not disrespectful that you mentioned it.
It's odd that she doesn't remember that you already told her about it. She likely doesn't pay as much attention to things that you say compared to how much attention you pay to things that she says. Also, are you sure that she was jealous? Maybe she was just curious.
Also, some people, if they get jealous, it isn't a romantic type of jealous. They like to think that they are the most special person to the person in their life and knowing about someone else makes them insecure, which is quite ridiculous, but jealousy can be rather crazy. That's not your fault, it's hers, if she's jealous. She needs to mature and get herself together if that's her reaction because that relationship with that person is over and you've expressed your feelings about her to her.
And some people want people they can't have, and don't want them when they can have them, so they'll do hot and cold depending on what seems to be going on. They are messed up, of course, if they do that.
And some people want people they can't have, and don't want them when they can have them, so they'll do hot and cold depending on what seems to be going on. They are messed up, of course, if they do that.
There's a word limit. That's why the stupid board cuts you off. Write less or spread it out over more posts. Use preview button.
Yeah, I figured that out. It wouldn't be so bad if the system would give you a count on characters so you would know. On my end, this site is SUPER slow, though. I click on preview, and it might take 3 minutes to load the next page! And I have a decent 5M DSL connection with no spyware. So making a post that takes 2-3 submissions can take awhile.
Anyway.
They can tend to form relationships that aren't truly close and if those relationships do get close they distance from the person, then they might come back, then off they go running again when things seem too close once more. She initiated some things with you and probably felt in control at that point, then didn't feel in control when you showed that you had deeper feelings for her.
I think that you're right here, for sure. Except, the cycle always feels like SHE gets close, then backs off. Then gets close again, then backs off. This is the 3rd time we've repeated that cycle. And you're right, she doesn't seem to be aware that she's doing it.
I don't see why what happened with talking about dating her friend in the past would ruin anything... Also, are you sure that she was jealous?
Oh, she was DEFINITELY jealous! And angry, and hurt, there's no denying it. We were having a fun, light conversation, and then after this it turned in to "Mmmm" and "Ok". When she asked, "did you kiss her?", it clearly wasn't just a general curiosity. I replied and told her that yes, we did kiss. She read it immediately, and hasn't replied since.
My worry is that she thinks I was keeping it a secret from her, and I know that a Scorpio is quick to feel betrayed. But I KNOW we talked about it before, at length. I can't imagine that she forgot, because it was our main topic of conversation for the first 2 weeks! And I KNOW that her friend told her about us. I just think that she didn't realize that we were as close as we were.
Which is extremely unfair of her (and childish, I think). She can publicly tell her friend from Egypt that she loves him, and post pictures of people kissing and say "me and you someday", and that's OK? But I kissed a girl 7 months ago, a month before she and I even really met, and I'm in trouble? Nah, sorry, that's not going to work for me.
Yeah, I figured that out. It wouldn't be so bad if the system would give you a count on characters so you would know. On my end, this site is SUPER slow, though. I click on preview, and it might take 3 minutes to load the next page! And I have a decent 5M DSL connection with no spyware. So making a post that takes 2-3 submissions can take awhile.
Anyway.
They can tend to form relationships that aren't truly close and if those relationships do get close they distance from the person, then they might come back, then off they go running again when things seem too close once more. She initiated some things with you and probably felt in control at that point, then didn't feel in control when you showed that you had deeper feelings for her.
I think that you're right here, for sure. Except, the cycle always feels like SHE gets close, then backs off. Then gets close again, then backs off. This is the 3rd time we've repeated that cycle. And you're right, she doesn't seem to be aware that she's doing it.
I don't see why what happened with talking about dating her friend in the past would ruin anything... Also, are you sure that she was jealous?
Oh, she was DEFINITELY jealous! And angry, and hurt, there's no denying it. We were having a fun, light conversation, and then after this it turned in to "Mmmm" and "Ok". When she asked, "did you kiss her?", it clearly wasn't just a general curiosity. I replied and told her that yes, we did kiss. She read it immediately, and hasn't replied since.
My worry is that she thinks I was keeping it a secret from her, and I know that a Scorpio is quick to feel betrayed. But I KNOW we talked about it before, at length. I can't imagine that she forgot, because it was our main topic of conversation for the first 2 weeks! And I KNOW that her friend told her about us. I just think that she didn't realize that we were as close as we were.
Which is extremely unfair of her (and childish, I think). She can publicly tell her friend from Egypt that she loves him, and post pictures of people kissing and say "me and you someday", and that's OK? But I kissed a girl 7 months ago, a month before she and I even really met, and I'm in trouble? Nah, sorry, that's not going to work for me.
I wouldn't take a guy seriously either if he dated my friend then tried to date me.
Gross.
And then for you to mention it like you did. What the fuck?
Also, considering how accomplished you are, are there really no women in town around your age you can prey on? Based on the little bit I read, she had two kids and is a divorced at 25. That's a whole lot for anyone, especially a person her age.
If someone else hasn't already mentioned it, you should be looking moreso into why you'd go after someone so vulnerable and young. It screams predator. And her friend: is she around the same age as the Scorp? If yes then you should be ashamed.
Gross.
And then for you to mention it like you did. What the fuck?
Also, considering how accomplished you are, are there really no women in town around your age you can prey on? Based on the little bit I read, she had two kids and is a divorced at 25. That's a whole lot for anyone, especially a person her age.
If someone else hasn't already mentioned it, you should be looking moreso into why you'd go after someone so vulnerable and young. It screams predator. And her friend: is she around the same age as the Scorp? If yes then you should be ashamed.
Almost 40 preying on chick young enough to be your daughter and your confused at her lack of maturity/handling of certain situations. Lol
Fix it Jesus.
Fix it Jesus.
You're**
Ew. Omg.
Ew. Omg.
Remarkably accurate, I must say! I was never one to read my horoscope or anything because it was too general, but the more I learn about the zodiac, the more impressed I am.
My favorite activities include kayaking, whitewater rafting, skiing, snowboarding, biking... physical activities that take a bit of concentration. At night, I love to read, and will read for about an hour before going to sleep... usually classic literature or something with metaphors.
But you're right, that does explain why I have a harder time connecting with women my own age. It's rare to find anyone my age that's as active as me (male or female), so it makes sense that I will gravitate towards younger people. My ex-LTR said that I acted like a child all the time (during big family get-togethers, I always hang out with the kids), so I chalked it up to me simply being immature.
And I think that I'm flirty, almost to a fault. I have a habit of flirting with all of my female friends, regardless of age or marital status. They know it's just a joke, though. Don't get me wrong, I don't tell them I love them and want to kiss them, like my Scorpio and her Egyptian friend! LOL I'm just more likely to call them "sexy" or "gorgeous"; eg, "hey, sexy, whatcha doing today?"
You're also dead-on about the drive and ambition. I don't want to give too much info about myself, but if you knew me in person, I think you'd say "yep, that's him!" LOL
As for "my" Scorpio, she messaged me early this morning (as soon as she woke up) and didn't mention last night. Then I sent her a message when I got up, and she replied immediately and was very sweet, just like she used to do. She's done this for a few days now, almost immediately after I mentioned it in this thread! It's all very confusing; I think maybe we're just on the upward swing of another of those cycles that CopperDove mentioned. Which is OK, because the upswing is the good part :-)
My favorite activities include kayaking, whitewater rafting, skiing, snowboarding, biking... physical activities that take a bit of concentration. At night, I love to read, and will read for about an hour before going to sleep... usually classic literature or something with metaphors.
But you're right, that does explain why I have a harder time connecting with women my own age. It's rare to find anyone my age that's as active as me (male or female), so it makes sense that I will gravitate towards younger people. My ex-LTR said that I acted like a child all the time (during big family get-togethers, I always hang out with the kids), so I chalked it up to me simply being immature.
And I think that I'm flirty, almost to a fault. I have a habit of flirting with all of my female friends, regardless of age or marital status. They know it's just a joke, though. Don't get me wrong, I don't tell them I love them and want to kiss them, like my Scorpio and her Egyptian friend! LOL I'm just more likely to call them "sexy" or "gorgeous"; eg, "hey, sexy, whatcha doing today?"
You're also dead-on about the drive and ambition. I don't want to give too much info about myself, but if you knew me in person, I think you'd say "yep, that's him!" LOL
As for "my" Scorpio, she messaged me early this morning (as soon as she woke up) and didn't mention last night. Then I sent her a message when I got up, and she replied immediately and was very sweet, just like she used to do. She's done this for a few days now, almost immediately after I mentioned it in this thread! It's all very confusing; I think maybe we're just on the upward swing of another of those cycles that CopperDove mentioned. Which is OK, because the upswing is the good part :-)
I wouldn't take a guy seriously either if he dated my friend then tried to date me.
Please remember that she was the one that came after me, not the other way around. She sent me a friend request on FB after she found out that her friend and I had broken up. She started talking to me first. She asked me on a date first.
We stopped talking for a few months, and she reestablished contact with me. Had you bothered to read any of the thread before jumping to conclusions, you would know this already.
She might not remember it now, but we met because I was dating her friend. Her friend is the one that introduced us.
And then for you to mention it like you did. What the treetrunk?
It was mid-chat, and I was just trying to explain a timeline of when something happened. She's talked about her friend several times (usually in an attempt to pick on me), including once yesterday, so I didn't think it was a big secret.
Also, considering how accomplished you are, are there really no women in town around your age you can prey on?
Not that I've found. Before you start blindly insulting people, please at least briefly read the discussion. Or at least the post right before yours. You tell me where to find a single, fit, fun, and physically active 39 year old woman in a rural area, and I'm all ears! If this relationship fails, of course; I'm really a 1-woman kind of guy.
If someone else hasn't already mentioned it, you should be looking moreso into why you'd go after someone so vulnerable and young. It screams predator.
It's already been discussed. I didn't go after her, she came after me. We connected before I knew her age, and I've already explained that, yes, it was a bit of a concern for me.
Considering that she approached me about 2 weeks after a break up, I wonder if you would ask why she would go after someone so vulnerable and old? Now that you know the facts (not that you'll read them), do you now think she is the predator?
I can't speak for her, but I'm guessing that she had such a negative experience with her same-aged ex that she wanted to be with someone more mature and stable. I can only imagine that these are positive traits to a 25 year old divorcee with 2 kids. That, and I'm sexy as hell (hahaha).
I certainly don't understand your animosity. Did you rage when Hugh Jackman married a woman 13 years older than him, when he was 28? Was she a predator?
Please remember that she was the one that came after me, not the other way around. She sent me a friend request on FB after she found out that her friend and I had broken up. She started talking to me first. She asked me on a date first.
We stopped talking for a few months, and she reestablished contact with me. Had you bothered to read any of the thread before jumping to conclusions, you would know this already.
She might not remember it now, but we met because I was dating her friend. Her friend is the one that introduced us.
And then for you to mention it like you did. What the treetrunk?
It was mid-chat, and I was just trying to explain a timeline of when something happened. She's talked about her friend several times (usually in an attempt to pick on me), including once yesterday, so I didn't think it was a big secret.
Also, considering how accomplished you are, are there really no women in town around your age you can prey on?
Not that I've found. Before you start blindly insulting people, please at least briefly read the discussion. Or at least the post right before yours. You tell me where to find a single, fit, fun, and physically active 39 year old woman in a rural area, and I'm all ears! If this relationship fails, of course; I'm really a 1-woman kind of guy.
If someone else hasn't already mentioned it, you should be looking moreso into why you'd go after someone so vulnerable and young. It screams predator.
It's already been discussed. I didn't go after her, she came after me. We connected before I knew her age, and I've already explained that, yes, it was a bit of a concern for me.
Considering that she approached me about 2 weeks after a break up, I wonder if you would ask why she would go after someone so vulnerable and old? Now that you know the facts (not that you'll read them), do you now think she is the predator?
I can't speak for her, but I'm guessing that she had such a negative experience with her same-aged ex that she wanted to be with someone more mature and stable. I can only imagine that these are positive traits to a 25 year old divorcee with 2 kids. That, and I'm sexy as hell (hahaha).
I certainly don't understand your animosity. Did you rage when Hugh Jackman married a woman 13 years older than him, when he was 28? Was she a predator?
Did you rage when Hugh Jackman married a woman 13 years older than him, when he was 28? Was she a predator?
Excuse me, he was 27 when they married, and she was 40. And they are still happily married.
Excuse me, he was 27 when they married, and she was 40. And they are still happily married.
This site can be very frustrating with post limits, delays, etc. Other forums I've been on, including simple Yahoo ones, weren't this frustrating.
"I think that you're right here, for sure. Except, the cycle always feels like SHE gets close, then backs off. Then gets close again, then backs off. This is the 3rd time we've repeated that cycle. And you're right, she doesn't seem to be aware that she's doing it."
Yes, that seems to be quite common with people who have this pattern - they establish the closeness and do the pursuing most of the time! Strange, isn't it? It's unnerving when they withdraw. It makes you wonder why they opened up at all. Someone I dated did that with me close to 14 years ago, then did it again twice after we reconnected as friends in recent years. He hadn't changed much in more than a decade. Fortunately the second and third time I wasn't interested in him romantically like I had been the first time, so it didn't hurt as much. I also have friends who have been involved with people who have done this. In most cases the person never changed their pattern. They would seem to, then it would swing back to them running.
People who do this on some level want closeness, but they can't handle it. Hence the hot and cold. That isn't the only reason for hot and cold, of course. But I've seen this pattern with people with abuse in their pasts a lot, particularly sexual abuse.
Good that things seem to be cleared up after the mention of you dating her friend in the past. Maybe because she didn't feel as strongly for you back when you first told her about it she didn't pay as much attention to it, working out the details of what might have happened (intimacy, etc).
"Which is extremely unfair of her (and childish, I think). She can publicly tell her friend from Egypt that she loves him, and post pictures of people kissing and say "me and you someday", and that's OK? But I kissed a girl 7 months ago, a month before she and I even really met, and I'm in trouble? Nah, sorry, that's not going to work for me."
I agree with you. If she takes issue with this again, or something similar, it's definitely not fair or together of her.
Has she seen you interact with your female friends much? I ask because you've mentioned being flirty in a harmless way that your friends understand, but I wonder if she has ever witnessed it and if she felt jealous at all.
"I think that you're right here, for sure. Except, the cycle always feels like SHE gets close, then backs off. Then gets close again, then backs off. This is the 3rd time we've repeated that cycle. And you're right, she doesn't seem to be aware that she's doing it."
Yes, that seems to be quite common with people who have this pattern - they establish the closeness and do the pursuing most of the time! Strange, isn't it? It's unnerving when they withdraw. It makes you wonder why they opened up at all. Someone I dated did that with me close to 14 years ago, then did it again twice after we reconnected as friends in recent years. He hadn't changed much in more than a decade. Fortunately the second and third time I wasn't interested in him romantically like I had been the first time, so it didn't hurt as much. I also have friends who have been involved with people who have done this. In most cases the person never changed their pattern. They would seem to, then it would swing back to them running.
People who do this on some level want closeness, but they can't handle it. Hence the hot and cold. That isn't the only reason for hot and cold, of course. But I've seen this pattern with people with abuse in their pasts a lot, particularly sexual abuse.
Good that things seem to be cleared up after the mention of you dating her friend in the past. Maybe because she didn't feel as strongly for you back when you first told her about it she didn't pay as much attention to it, working out the details of what might have happened (intimacy, etc).
"Which is extremely unfair of her (and childish, I think). She can publicly tell her friend from Egypt that she loves him, and post pictures of people kissing and say "me and you someday", and that's OK? But I kissed a girl 7 months ago, a month before she and I even really met, and I'm in trouble? Nah, sorry, that's not going to work for me."
I agree with you. If she takes issue with this again, or something similar, it's definitely not fair or together of her.
Has she seen you interact with your female friends much? I ask because you've mentioned being flirty in a harmless way that your friends understand, but I wonder if she has ever witnessed it and if she felt jealous at all.
CS,
Your birthday is one day before my ex's birthday and you have all the exact same placements except he's Libra rising.
I agree with what the others have said. The Aries moon gives you your more bombastic, fire type 'energy'. I liked that as it was rather fun but the anger/temper was hard to deal with, very reactionary but then forgets very quickly. The Virgo Venus was a nice 'of service' taking care kind of attitude. He started off very interested and attentive, like a knight in shining armour... Then reality set in. He never was good with dealing with reality!!
Your birthday is one day before my ex's birthday and you have all the exact same placements except he's Libra rising.
I agree with what the others have said. The Aries moon gives you your more bombastic, fire type 'energy'. I liked that as it was rather fun but the anger/temper was hard to deal with, very reactionary but then forgets very quickly. The Virgo Venus was a nice 'of service' taking care kind of attitude. He started off very interested and attentive, like a knight in shining armour... Then reality set in. He never was good with dealing with reality!!
-- Also, I imagine that her friend didn't tell her much about the dating relationship she had with you. Maybe she made it seem like it was a friendship? It's still odd that she didn't remember certain things about that, but who knows how much her friend opens up to her.
I can understand why you would find it challenging to meet women closer to your age who are compatible given that you are youthful in appearance and energy, etc. I look young for my age too and have a youthful attitude and energy. I also get along well with kids and don't think that makes a person immature if that's the case. Youthful and immature are not synonyms (some people automatically seem to assume that). I also live in a small town which limits options - you're absolutely right about the pitfalls of that with dating!
People I've dated have been closer to my age, within 3 years usually, but they, too, are youthful. My friends, male and female, vary in age a lot, but the older ones are youthful types, and the younger ones are mature for their age. So youthful people in your age range exist, but I understand why it's difficult, particularly if you are active and keep in good form and would like that in a partner. I'm the same way - usually far more into fitness and related than people I meet.
I can understand why you would find it challenging to meet women closer to your age who are compatible given that you are youthful in appearance and energy, etc. I look young for my age too and have a youthful attitude and energy. I also get along well with kids and don't think that makes a person immature if that's the case. Youthful and immature are not synonyms (some people automatically seem to assume that). I also live in a small town which limits options - you're absolutely right about the pitfalls of that with dating!
People I've dated have been closer to my age, within 3 years usually, but they, too, are youthful. My friends, male and female, vary in age a lot, but the older ones are youthful types, and the younger ones are mature for their age. So youthful people in your age range exist, but I understand why it's difficult, particularly if you are active and keep in good form and would like that in a partner. I'm the same way - usually far more into fitness and related than people I meet.
Fortunately the second and third time I wasn't interested in him romantically like I had been the first time, so it didn't hurt as much.
Now, to be perfectly honest, I was WAY more interested the first time around. I was being a little flip before with Magenta, but she really did catch me at a pretty vulnerable time. I ended a LTR last year, then dated her friend, who dumped me to go reconcile with her kids' dad. That really hurt me and I was very depressed, thinking that I'd be alone forever, so I was emotionally... weak, I guess, when she approached me.
You'll recall that I ended that one after she kept standing me up with no warning, and when she acted distant and uninterested.
This being the second time around, I'm not as vulnerable as before. I'm not in a bad place, emotionally, and I don't expect as much. So this time, if it doesn't work out, I'm not going to lose any sleep. I'll be disappointed, sure, but not like the first time.
Has she seen you interact with your female friends much? I ask because you've mentioned being flirty in a harmless way that your friends understand, but I wonder if she has ever witnessed it and if she felt jealous at all.
Not really, because we haven't really spent THAT much time together in person. It's interesting that you mention it, though.
A few weeks ago, I went to see her at work at 2, but she wasn't going to get off until 3. The other waitress got off at 2, though, and instead of leaving, came over and hung out with me. That was the first time we met, and she was very friendly and outgoing. My Scorpio girl told me that they used to be best friends in school, and were still very close, but she hadn't told her that we were talking (I know Scorpios like their secrets).
That night, her friend sent me a friend request on FB, and chatted with me a little.
Now, I didn't flirt with her AT ALL. I mean, we had just met. But I did notice that my Scorpio got a little jealous about it. She kept "jokingly" bringing her up, asking if we've talked, etc. And one day I went to see my Scorpio at work, and she was convinced that I had gone to see her friend. She was kind of angry about it, really.
So, the short answer is that the one time she's seen me interact with another woman, she did get a little jealous. She's never seen me with my group of regular friends, though.
continued...
Now, to be perfectly honest, I was WAY more interested the first time around. I was being a little flip before with Magenta, but she really did catch me at a pretty vulnerable time. I ended a LTR last year, then dated her friend, who dumped me to go reconcile with her kids' dad. That really hurt me and I was very depressed, thinking that I'd be alone forever, so I was emotionally... weak, I guess, when she approached me.
You'll recall that I ended that one after she kept standing me up with no warning, and when she acted distant and uninterested.
This being the second time around, I'm not as vulnerable as before. I'm not in a bad place, emotionally, and I don't expect as much. So this time, if it doesn't work out, I'm not going to lose any sleep. I'll be disappointed, sure, but not like the first time.
Has she seen you interact with your female friends much? I ask because you've mentioned being flirty in a harmless way that your friends understand, but I wonder if she has ever witnessed it and if she felt jealous at all.
Not really, because we haven't really spent THAT much time together in person. It's interesting that you mention it, though.
A few weeks ago, I went to see her at work at 2, but she wasn't going to get off until 3. The other waitress got off at 2, though, and instead of leaving, came over and hung out with me. That was the first time we met, and she was very friendly and outgoing. My Scorpio girl told me that they used to be best friends in school, and were still very close, but she hadn't told her that we were talking (I know Scorpios like their secrets).
That night, her friend sent me a friend request on FB, and chatted with me a little.
Now, I didn't flirt with her AT ALL. I mean, we had just met. But I did notice that my Scorpio got a little jealous about it. She kept "jokingly" bringing her up, asking if we've talked, etc. And one day I went to see my Scorpio at work, and she was convinced that I had gone to see her friend. She was kind of angry about it, really.
So, the short answer is that the one time she's seen me interact with another woman, she did get a little jealous. She's never seen me with my group of regular friends, though.
continued...
Also, I imagine that her friend didn't tell her much about the dating relationship she had with you. Maybe she made it seem like it was a friendship?
This is my thought, too. Her friend (my ex) told me that she had told her about us, but you're right, she could have downplayed it a LOT. It was a complicated relationship; she had approached me earlier in the year and we talked a lot, but she was still with the father of her children. She left him, and wanted to be with me immediately. Then, they got back together, and I'm sure that she doesn't want him to know that she was intimate with another man during that break.
Long term, this is a problem just waiting to happen, and I'm not sure how to handle it. If my Scorpio asks me for details, I don't want to lie, but at the same time I don't want to reveal things that my ex wouldn't be comfortable with her knowing.
I can understand why you would find it challenging to meet women closer to your age who are compatible given that you are youthful in appearance and energy, etc... So youthful people in your age range exist, but I understand why it's difficult, particularly if you are active and keep in good form and would like that in a partner. I'm the same way - usually far more into fitness and related than people I meet.
I don't mean for this to be offensive to anyone, but I suspect that people our age that are fit, active, and fun loving are the types that partners simply don't let go easily. So, if we're single later in life, it doesn't usually last long. For the most part, the people I've met that match my lifestyle are either considerably younger, or considerably older (eg, widows).
I seriously had a 17 year old girl ask me on a date a few weeks ago. That really threw me off! I told her I was flattered, but a 39 year old man with a 17 year old girl is just TOO much. She said that she thought I was 24 or 25! So while that was pretty flattering, you can also imagine that most women my age, even if they match my lifestyle, might be thrown off by my appearance because they don't want to be with a (presumably) younger man.
This is my thought, too. Her friend (my ex) told me that she had told her about us, but you're right, she could have downplayed it a LOT. It was a complicated relationship; she had approached me earlier in the year and we talked a lot, but she was still with the father of her children. She left him, and wanted to be with me immediately. Then, they got back together, and I'm sure that she doesn't want him to know that she was intimate with another man during that break.
Long term, this is a problem just waiting to happen, and I'm not sure how to handle it. If my Scorpio asks me for details, I don't want to lie, but at the same time I don't want to reveal things that my ex wouldn't be comfortable with her knowing.
I can understand why you would find it challenging to meet women closer to your age who are compatible given that you are youthful in appearance and energy, etc... So youthful people in your age range exist, but I understand why it's difficult, particularly if you are active and keep in good form and would like that in a partner. I'm the same way - usually far more into fitness and related than people I meet.
I don't mean for this to be offensive to anyone, but I suspect that people our age that are fit, active, and fun loving are the types that partners simply don't let go easily. So, if we're single later in life, it doesn't usually last long. For the most part, the people I've met that match my lifestyle are either considerably younger, or considerably older (eg, widows).
I seriously had a 17 year old girl ask me on a date a few weeks ago. That really threw me off! I told her I was flattered, but a 39 year old man with a 17 year old girl is just TOO much. She said that she thought I was 24 or 25! So while that was pretty flattering, you can also imagine that most women my age, even if they match my lifestyle, might be thrown off by my appearance because they don't want to be with a (presumably) younger man.
I agree with what the others have said. The Aries moon gives you your more bombastic, fire type 'energy'. I liked that as it was rather fun but the anger/temper was hard to deal with, very reactionary but then forgets very quickly. The Virgo Venus was a nice 'of service' taking care kind of attitude. He started off very interested and attentive, like a knight in shining armour... Then reality set in. He never was good with dealing with reality!!
I do think that I (and maybe others in my sphere) need a lot of attention, possibly more than a typical Scorpio is willing to give. I tend to be happiest when I have a group of close friends to hang out with regularly, so that when my GF is slacking on the attention then I can call my buddies.
My temper, though, is on the opposite spectrum. I have a VERY long fuse, and it's almost impossible to make me angry. I'm too logical for all that. When something bothers me, I usually back away from the issue for awhile so that I can approach it calmly. Or I might turn to a message board to vent, so that I don't ruin something over nothing (like I've done with this thread).
Like your ex, though, I do tend to get over things quickly. When I get angry, a common tactic for me is to go mow the yard or do some other mindless task for an hour. If I'm still upset after I'm done, we can discuss it. But more often than not, by time I'm done, I've already forgotten about it.
I've been told that that's a pretty frustrating trait. It's not uncommon that a GF just wants to fight and get something off her chest, but I just don't do that. That may be a learned trait, though, stemming from growing up in a home where my parents fought regularly and violently.
I do think that I (and maybe others in my sphere) need a lot of attention, possibly more than a typical Scorpio is willing to give. I tend to be happiest when I have a group of close friends to hang out with regularly, so that when my GF is slacking on the attention then I can call my buddies.
My temper, though, is on the opposite spectrum. I have a VERY long fuse, and it's almost impossible to make me angry. I'm too logical for all that. When something bothers me, I usually back away from the issue for awhile so that I can approach it calmly. Or I might turn to a message board to vent, so that I don't ruin something over nothing (like I've done with this thread).
Like your ex, though, I do tend to get over things quickly. When I get angry, a common tactic for me is to go mow the yard or do some other mindless task for an hour. If I'm still upset after I'm done, we can discuss it. But more often than not, by time I'm done, I've already forgotten about it.
I've been told that that's a pretty frustrating trait. It's not uncommon that a GF just wants to fight and get something off her chest, but I just don't do that. That may be a learned trait, though, stemming from growing up in a home where my parents fought regularly and violently.
Great, csdude55, I'm glad that this time around you're not as vulnerable. I understand why you were the first time, given what you had just been through.
So she does have a jealous nature, at least a bit, at least with the situations you've described. Thanks for sharing those details. It's good that you know that about her. Even though I'm a Scorpio, with Scorpio Venus, I don't tend to get jealous much but I know that it's common for Scorpios to feel that way more than some signs. She hasn't handled it really badly, it seems, which is good. You see a bit of a reaction but she doesn't launch an attack. Some people get vindictive when they feel jealousy, for example, which usually ends in catastrophe, often more for them than the person on the receiving end of it.
It's rational and right to be more guarded this time, with lower expectations. It tends to nip enthusiasm quite hard when someone runs. It can still hurt if they do it again, but the pain is far less.
Some people who have trust issues (which she might have) can act in untrustworthy ways. It seems to be part of the strange sabotage they do to avoid being close to someone.
The person I mentioned who I dated 14 years ago admitted that to me (that he sabotaged, just not consciously at the time). Good that he could admit to it without me saying anything to prompt him, but he hadn't fully worked on himself so he did it again! That's worse, in a way, than someone who does it but has no idea they are doing it. You'd think that if someone shows self awareness, they're self aware. But for some people self awareness is only temporary, unfortunately.
I think you're right about people like us being snapped up (or lots of attempts to snap us up, lol) quickly once we're single again. Wow about the 17 year old girl, but it's flattering she thought you were so young, I agree.
When I was in my mid twenties I looked like I was maybe 18 at most. At an event I attended with the person I was dating at the time, someone took him aside and asked, with concern, "How old is she?" When he answered 25, or whatever I was, the person was VERY relieved that I wasn't a teenager. lol
So she does have a jealous nature, at least a bit, at least with the situations you've described. Thanks for sharing those details. It's good that you know that about her. Even though I'm a Scorpio, with Scorpio Venus, I don't tend to get jealous much but I know that it's common for Scorpios to feel that way more than some signs. She hasn't handled it really badly, it seems, which is good. You see a bit of a reaction but she doesn't launch an attack. Some people get vindictive when they feel jealousy, for example, which usually ends in catastrophe, often more for them than the person on the receiving end of it.
It's rational and right to be more guarded this time, with lower expectations. It tends to nip enthusiasm quite hard when someone runs. It can still hurt if they do it again, but the pain is far less.
Some people who have trust issues (which she might have) can act in untrustworthy ways. It seems to be part of the strange sabotage they do to avoid being close to someone.
The person I mentioned who I dated 14 years ago admitted that to me (that he sabotaged, just not consciously at the time). Good that he could admit to it without me saying anything to prompt him, but he hadn't fully worked on himself so he did it again! That's worse, in a way, than someone who does it but has no idea they are doing it. You'd think that if someone shows self awareness, they're self aware. But for some people self awareness is only temporary, unfortunately.
I think you're right about people like us being snapped up (or lots of attempts to snap us up, lol) quickly once we're single again. Wow about the 17 year old girl, but it's flattering she thought you were so young, I agree.
When I was in my mid twenties I looked like I was maybe 18 at most. At an event I attended with the person I was dating at the time, someone took him aside and asked, with concern, "How old is she?" When he answered 25, or whatever I was, the person was VERY relieved that I wasn't a teenager. lol
I understand why you were the first time, given what you had just been through.
I have to admit that the first time around, I really didn't handle it well at all. I expected way too much from her, and overreacted when she didn't meet my impossible standards. I was really in no position (emotionally) to date, I just didn't know it.
So I was really surprised when she approached me again. She should have thought I was a psycho.
So she does have a jealous nature, at least a bit, at least with the situations you've described... She hasn't handled it really badly, it seems, which is good.
Jealousy is an odd thing for me to understand, because I'm not usually a jealous person. When she told her friend from Egypt that she loved him, I was only jealous because when I tried to get her to admit liking me, she would only say that she was too shy. If she had been more affectionate with me, then I doubt I would have even noticed.
To me, jealousy implies a romantic connection that is being threatened in some way. So by definition, her being jealous means that she feels a romantic connection. Yet another reason why I was confused as to her intent; why be jealous if she didn't want me for herself?
It's rational and right to be more guarded this time, with lower expectations.
The unfortunate thing, though, is that I'm considerably less excited myself. I'm expecting her to cut and run, so I'm already putting less of myself in to it.
I hope other Scorpios are reading this and learning; if they're not getting 100% from their partner, it may be because they trained their partner to be on their guard.
When I was in my mid twenties I looked like I was maybe 18 at most.
Same here! When I look in a mirror, I think I look old as dirt; I see gray hairs, lines in my forehead, etc. But I guess that if you're not paying close attention, you don't see it. I still occasionally get carded at a bar, which is kinda cool, but also kinda annoying.
I have to admit that the first time around, I really didn't handle it well at all. I expected way too much from her, and overreacted when she didn't meet my impossible standards. I was really in no position (emotionally) to date, I just didn't know it.
So I was really surprised when she approached me again. She should have thought I was a psycho.
So she does have a jealous nature, at least a bit, at least with the situations you've described... She hasn't handled it really badly, it seems, which is good.
Jealousy is an odd thing for me to understand, because I'm not usually a jealous person. When she told her friend from Egypt that she loved him, I was only jealous because when I tried to get her to admit liking me, she would only say that she was too shy. If she had been more affectionate with me, then I doubt I would have even noticed.
To me, jealousy implies a romantic connection that is being threatened in some way. So by definition, her being jealous means that she feels a romantic connection. Yet another reason why I was confused as to her intent; why be jealous if she didn't want me for herself?
It's rational and right to be more guarded this time, with lower expectations.
The unfortunate thing, though, is that I'm considerably less excited myself. I'm expecting her to cut and run, so I'm already putting less of myself in to it.
I hope other Scorpios are reading this and learning; if they're not getting 100% from their partner, it may be because they trained their partner to be on their guard.
When I was in my mid twenties I looked like I was maybe 18 at most.
Same here! When I look in a mirror, I think I look old as dirt; I see gray hairs, lines in my forehead, etc. But I guess that if you're not paying close attention, you don't see it. I still occasionally get carded at a bar, which is kinda cool, but also kinda annoying.
Csdude you need to stop over analyzing and obsessing about her so much.
Just stop.
Ask her like a man, would you want or consider a serious relationshop(possibly marriage) with me or not? Tell her you would like to take her out on a serious date ?
Yes means yes ,anything else means no. Why waste your precious time by obsessing like this? Its just games otherwise. Are you aware that the new generation is all about flirty comments and likes on instagram and fb with lots of people to inflate their ego? You must be serious and very open and direct to get any results, positive or negative.
Just stop.
Ask her like a man, would you want or consider a serious relationshop(possibly marriage) with me or not? Tell her you would like to take her out on a serious date ?
Yes means yes ,anything else means no. Why waste your precious time by obsessing like this? Its just games otherwise. Are you aware that the new generation is all about flirty comments and likes on instagram and fb with lots of people to inflate their ego? You must be serious and very open and direct to get any results, positive or negative.
I can see that flirting with her or chasing her is fun to you and its good for your ego but you are investing too much time and thought into this. It seems to me that its really time to have a serious conversation with her and if it doesn't work our then move on.
Is her dad a muslim? If so then maybe she is not even allowed to date?
It seems to me that she is just using you guys so that she doesn't feel lonely.
If she was in love with you there would be none else, and she would expect serious conversations from you about love and marriage.
It seems to me that she is just using you guys so that she doesn't feel lonely.
If she was in love with you there would be none else, and she would expect serious conversations from you about love and marriage.
Choco, my friend, I guess you haven't read the majority of this thread? I've said a few times that I DID come right out and ask her, and she always replied with an emphatic "YES!! But...". The most recent "but" was a complication with her ex (father of her children) that's pressuring her to go back to him, and her dad is on his side about it. She was considering it, mainly for financial reasons.
Thus the confusion... words and actions didn't match. But for the last few days, she's acted a lot more interested, so there's the distinct possibility that her distance WAS because of outside irritants, and had nothing to do with a lack of interest in me.
And I really do understand that. When kids are involved (as well as a child-support paying father), things get more complicated. She really does have to put their welfare first, and I'd be offended if she didn't.
I'm not obsessing about it; you're misinterpreting by interest in this thread for an obsession with her. We're supposed to have a serious date Saturday (her suggestion), and I've already said (a few times) that if she bails on me this time then I'm demoting her to friend status.
Thus the confusion... words and actions didn't match. But for the last few days, she's acted a lot more interested, so there's the distinct possibility that her distance WAS because of outside irritants, and had nothing to do with a lack of interest in me.
And I really do understand that. When kids are involved (as well as a child-support paying father), things get more complicated. She really does have to put their welfare first, and I'd be offended if she didn't.
I'm not obsessing about it; you're misinterpreting by interest in this thread for an obsession with her. We're supposed to have a serious date Saturday (her suggestion), and I've already said (a few times) that if she bails on me this time then I'm demoting her to friend status.
Is her dad a muslim? If so then maybe she is not even allowed to date?
No, but she does come from a particularly religious family. They believe that she is sinning by leaving the father of her kids, which is why they are pressuring her to go back to him.
It seems to me that she is just using you guys so that she doesn't feel lonely.
This is entirely possible, yep.
If she was in love with you there would be none else, and she would expect serious conversations from you about love and marriage.
Not being on the dating scene all that long, I'm not sure what the etiquette here would be. She and I have known each other for 7 months, and been talking (this time around) since sometime in March. Even though we've talked (almost) every day, we haven't even had a first kiss yet. So, when is too soon to talk about love, exclusivity, relationships, and marriage?
There's also the fact that, according to her, she hasn't been on a date since her ex. They've been separated for about 3 years, so I think that she puts a lot of value in to the ideas of dating and physical contact.
I hate to constantly overthink it, but people just aren't that simple. I can only imagine that she's wanting to be 100% sure that I'm not going to hurt her before risking her heart (or her children's hearts) on me.
No, but she does come from a particularly religious family. They believe that she is sinning by leaving the father of her kids, which is why they are pressuring her to go back to him.
It seems to me that she is just using you guys so that she doesn't feel lonely.
This is entirely possible, yep.
If she was in love with you there would be none else, and she would expect serious conversations from you about love and marriage.
Not being on the dating scene all that long, I'm not sure what the etiquette here would be. She and I have known each other for 7 months, and been talking (this time around) since sometime in March. Even though we've talked (almost) every day, we haven't even had a first kiss yet. So, when is too soon to talk about love, exclusivity, relationships, and marriage?
There's also the fact that, according to her, she hasn't been on a date since her ex. They've been separated for about 3 years, so I think that she puts a lot of value in to the ideas of dating and physical contact.
I hate to constantly overthink it, but people just aren't that simple. I can only imagine that she's wanting to be 100% sure that I'm not going to hurt her before risking her heart (or her children's hearts) on me.
I got involved with the guy I mentioned not long after a LTR ended. I was more vulnerable and ideally shouldn't have gotten into something so soon even though the end of my LTR wasn't traumatic and I'd been moving on from it mentally/emotionally during the last year of it.
"To me, jealousy implies a romantic connection that is being threatened in some way. So by definition, her being jealous means that she feels a romantic connection. Yet another reason why I was confused as to her intent; why be jealous if she didn't want me for herself?"
I have trouble understanding jealousy, too, since like you I don't feel it often. Some people get jealous when their friend hangs out with another friend, or starts to date someone, and/or they think someone is closer to their friend than they are, no romantic feelings involved necessarily. I have no way of knowing what is the case with the woman you're writing about, I'm just mentioning it because I've seen it happen.
"The unfortunate thing, though, is that I'm considerably less excited myself. I'm expecting her to cut and run, so I'm already putting less of myself in to it."
It sucks to be in that position, but I think it's better than if you got excited and put a lot into it like you did before and she ran again.
"I hope other Scorpios are reading this and learning; if they're not getting 100% from their partner, it may be because they trained their partner to be on their guard."
The unevolved Scorpios, as they're often called on this site, hopefully will wake up, yes.
"When I look in a mirror, I think I look old as dirt; I see gray hairs, lines in my forehead, etc. But I guess that if you're not paying close attention, you don't see it. I still occasionally get carded at a bar, which is kinda cool, but also kinda annoying."
haha, yes, same! I dread the day when someone guesses my age correctly, lol.
"No, but she does come from a particularly religious family. They believe that she is sinning by leaving the father of her kids, which is why they are pressuring her to go back to him."
That's interesting, and could play a large role in conflicts she has, even if she doesn't share the strict views. Ideally she'll be strong and block out their influence.
One thing I've found is that many people experience something dramatic in their development at close to 30. In astrology this is explained by something called "Saturn return." It's when Saturn returns to the exact sign and degree it was at the time of the person's birth. When it happens, it can be either imprisoning or liberating, depending on how the person handles it. It's a chance to make some big changes that can improve one's life, taking responsibility for oneself.
I got out of a LTR at close to 30 then went through the very disappointing relationship with the person who ran. I got through that and in some ways passed the test, so to speak, of Saturn, in other ways I didn't do enough work so I ended up in another difficult relationship later on.
That's interesting, and could play a large role in conflicts she has, even if she doesn't share the strict views. Ideally she'll be strong and block out their influence.
One thing I've found is that many people experience something dramatic in their development at close to 30. In astrology this is explained by something called "Saturn return." It's when Saturn returns to the exact sign and degree it was at the time of the person's birth. When it happens, it can be either imprisoning or liberating, depending on how the person handles it. It's a chance to make some big changes that can improve one's life, taking responsibility for oneself.
I got out of a LTR at close to 30 then went through the very disappointing relationship with the person who ran. I got through that and in some ways passed the test, so to speak, of Saturn, in other ways I didn't do enough work so I ended up in another difficult relationship later on.
I got involved with the guy I mentioned not long after a LTR ended. I was more vulnerable and ideally shouldn't have gotten into something so soon even though the end of my LTR wasn't traumatic and I'd been moving on from it mentally/emotionally during the last year of it.
I so understand! My LTR was completely loveless for at least 12 years, and when it ended, I wasn't really upset at all. The financial burden was more upsetting than anything else.
The next relationship after, though (my Scorpio's friend) was VERY painful! We talked for months, and got extremely close. She said things, like that she loved me and wanted to be with me forever. And when she went back to her ex, she told me that she really loved me and knew she was making a mistake, but she was doing what she thought was best for her kids.
That left me in a bad state. I couldn't easily get over her, because I felt like she was making this big sacrifice, and just waiting for me to save her. That was 1,000 times harder than the LTR!
And that's why I was in such a bad position when my Scorpio first approached me. I was emotionally wrecked by that break up, and thinking that I had made a mistake and should just reconcile with my LTR. Then after my Scorpio ended badly, too, I spent a good month or two just believing that I was worthless and never going to meet anyone worth loving.
It sucks to be in that position, but I think it's better than if you got excited and put a lot into it like you did before and she ran again.
Being totally honest, I spent about 15 years of my life believing that love doesn't exist and isn't worth chasing. Then I finally met a woman that I thought was proving me wrong, and it just ended in heartbreak.
This left me in a bad emotional place, and I'm still there. I love romance, but I'm finding myself being more and more emotionally distant. After this ends, I don't think I'll have any interest in dating for awhile. If I can't get excited about it, then what's the point?
That's interesting, and could play a large role in conflicts she has, even if she doesn't share the strict views. Ideally she'll be strong and block out their influence.
She doesn't; in fact, she rebels against them pretty hard. But since she lives with her dad and he helps pay her bills, I can imagine that dating against his wishes is a pretty scary move. She hasn't said that, though, I'm just making up my own conclusion.
continued...
I so understand! My LTR was completely loveless for at least 12 years, and when it ended, I wasn't really upset at all. The financial burden was more upsetting than anything else.
The next relationship after, though (my Scorpio's friend) was VERY painful! We talked for months, and got extremely close. She said things, like that she loved me and wanted to be with me forever. And when she went back to her ex, she told me that she really loved me and knew she was making a mistake, but she was doing what she thought was best for her kids.
That left me in a bad state. I couldn't easily get over her, because I felt like she was making this big sacrifice, and just waiting for me to save her. That was 1,000 times harder than the LTR!
And that's why I was in such a bad position when my Scorpio first approached me. I was emotionally wrecked by that break up, and thinking that I had made a mistake and should just reconcile with my LTR. Then after my Scorpio ended badly, too, I spent a good month or two just believing that I was worthless and never going to meet anyone worth loving.
It sucks to be in that position, but I think it's better than if you got excited and put a lot into it like you did before and she ran again.
Being totally honest, I spent about 15 years of my life believing that love doesn't exist and isn't worth chasing. Then I finally met a woman that I thought was proving me wrong, and it just ended in heartbreak.
This left me in a bad emotional place, and I'm still there. I love romance, but I'm finding myself being more and more emotionally distant. After this ends, I don't think I'll have any interest in dating for awhile. If I can't get excited about it, then what's the point?
That's interesting, and could play a large role in conflicts she has, even if she doesn't share the strict views. Ideally she'll be strong and block out their influence.
She doesn't; in fact, she rebels against them pretty hard. But since she lives with her dad and he helps pay her bills, I can imagine that dating against his wishes is a pretty scary move. She hasn't said that, though, I'm just making up my own conclusion.
continued...
One thing I've found is that many people experience something dramatic in their development at close to 30. In astrology this is explained by something called "Saturn return." It's when Saturn returns to the exact sign and degree it was at the time of the person's birth. When it happens, it can be either imprisoning or liberating, depending on how the person handles it.
Hmph. I didn't change a thing at 30! Maybe I should have; life would certainly be different now. I didn't start making big changes until I was almost 39, so this has been an emotionally important year for me. Not exactly positive, just... important.
Hmph. I didn't change a thing at 30! Maybe I should have; life would certainly be different now. I didn't start making big changes until I was almost 39, so this has been an emotionally important year for me. Not exactly positive, just... important.
Better late than never with making changes. 🙂
Taking a break from dating might be the best thing for you. Some repair work might be in order, since you've been through a lot. I agree that it isn't good to have no enthusiasm. Likely your keenness will return if a person you're interested in doesn't give you reason to doubt. I don't think this Scorpio woman will be stable enough to not risk making you dim your feelings, even if she agrees to date, but again, if I'm wrong because she works on things, great. That said, if she works on things it will take a while for her to be stable.
I know what it's like to doubt one's worth connected to romantic relationships, and to doubt romance can exist in a real way instead of something that is based on fleeting infatuation. It's a difficult place to be - deeply depressing at times. It can take a while to fully move away from that kind of thinking.
Rejection, like you experienced when dating this Scorpio woman's friend, serves to reinforce doubts of that kind. Sometimes, until that thinking starts to wane/cease, people get into relationships that match what they believe to some extent - they're attracted to unstable people who will reject them. You're still in that kind of pattern with this Scorpio woman who hot and colds you, for example.
To find great potentially long lasting compatibility isn't easy. The more complex a person is, the more that can be the case. I've spent long periods of my life being single and am glad for those times. Other people I've known have jumped into many relationships to try to avoid being lonely and that didn't work out well - they would have been better off feeling a bit lonely sometimes! This didn't save me from all mistakes, but it cut down on them, lol. 🙂
I wonder if what you mentioned about how you grew up - seeing your parents fight like they did, including violently - influences you to this day. If you witnessed a lot of behaviour that isn't loving, even if the people told each other that they loved each other, that can have an impact. Excellent that you don't use their communication style to resolve differences, though - you aren't perpetuating that abuse.
I look forward to your update about what goes down on Saturday. I hope that whatever it is gives you clarity.
Taking a break from dating might be the best thing for you. Some repair work might be in order, since you've been through a lot. I agree that it isn't good to have no enthusiasm. Likely your keenness will return if a person you're interested in doesn't give you reason to doubt. I don't think this Scorpio woman will be stable enough to not risk making you dim your feelings, even if she agrees to date, but again, if I'm wrong because she works on things, great. That said, if she works on things it will take a while for her to be stable.
I know what it's like to doubt one's worth connected to romantic relationships, and to doubt romance can exist in a real way instead of something that is based on fleeting infatuation. It's a difficult place to be - deeply depressing at times. It can take a while to fully move away from that kind of thinking.
Rejection, like you experienced when dating this Scorpio woman's friend, serves to reinforce doubts of that kind. Sometimes, until that thinking starts to wane/cease, people get into relationships that match what they believe to some extent - they're attracted to unstable people who will reject them. You're still in that kind of pattern with this Scorpio woman who hot and colds you, for example.
To find great potentially long lasting compatibility isn't easy. The more complex a person is, the more that can be the case. I've spent long periods of my life being single and am glad for those times. Other people I've known have jumped into many relationships to try to avoid being lonely and that didn't work out well - they would have been better off feeling a bit lonely sometimes! This didn't save me from all mistakes, but it cut down on them, lol. 🙂
I wonder if what you mentioned about how you grew up - seeing your parents fight like they did, including violently - influences you to this day. If you witnessed a lot of behaviour that isn't loving, even if the people told each other that they loved each other, that can have an impact. Excellent that you don't use their communication style to resolve differences, though - you aren't perpetuating that abuse.
I look forward to your update about what goes down on Saturday. I hope that whatever it is gives you clarity.
Taking a break from dating might be the best thing for you. Some repair work might be in order, since you've been through a lot.
FWIW, that was my intention, until Scorpio contacted me. It's really very rare that I meet a girl that's a decent match for me and there's a mutual attraction, so I can't exactly afford to just pass one up. It would feel a lot like spitting in the face of fate.
After this, though... yeah, I'm done for awhile.
I wonder if what you mentioned about how you grew up - seeing your parents fight like they did, including violently - influences you to this day. If you witnessed a lot of behaviour that isn't loving, even if the people told each other that they loved each other, that can have an impact.
Oh, there's absolutely no doubt! Seeing their miserable marriage has given me a dim outlook on marriage in general. Seeing them fight has made me avoid fighting, almost to an extreme level. Seeing my mom unhappy, and me being unable to help her, has turned me in to a White Knight, always looking for women that I can help. The list goes on and on.
I look forward to your update about what goes down on Saturday. I hope that whatever it is gives you clarity.
I have absolutely no hope for Saturday. None at all. I asked her earlier today if she's looking forward to it, and she said something like "my dad is planning something, and needs my help". Which was total BS, because we never established a time. He can't possibly need her help from 7am until midnight. But I said, "I'll help, I don't care", to which she replied with 😄
But still, being the optimist that I am, I said, "How about lunch, then? Just 1 hour". She replied with, "I will try", then changed the subject and asked if I've seen some movie about "love".
That feels like a pretty clear "no" to me. There could be all kinds of honest reasons, but she's had plenty of time to plan for it, and there's no conceivable way that she couldn't get away for an hour to meet me for lunch somewhere.
I'm 98% convinced that as of Saturday evening, I'll be an official Hermit.
FWIW, that was my intention, until Scorpio contacted me. It's really very rare that I meet a girl that's a decent match for me and there's a mutual attraction, so I can't exactly afford to just pass one up. It would feel a lot like spitting in the face of fate.
After this, though... yeah, I'm done for awhile.
I wonder if what you mentioned about how you grew up - seeing your parents fight like they did, including violently - influences you to this day. If you witnessed a lot of behaviour that isn't loving, even if the people told each other that they loved each other, that can have an impact.
Oh, there's absolutely no doubt! Seeing their miserable marriage has given me a dim outlook on marriage in general. Seeing them fight has made me avoid fighting, almost to an extreme level. Seeing my mom unhappy, and me being unable to help her, has turned me in to a White Knight, always looking for women that I can help. The list goes on and on.
I look forward to your update about what goes down on Saturday. I hope that whatever it is gives you clarity.
I have absolutely no hope for Saturday. None at all. I asked her earlier today if she's looking forward to it, and she said something like "my dad is planning something, and needs my help". Which was total BS, because we never established a time. He can't possibly need her help from 7am until midnight. But I said, "I'll help, I don't care", to which she replied with 😄
But still, being the optimist that I am, I said, "How about lunch, then? Just 1 hour". She replied with, "I will try", then changed the subject and asked if I've seen some movie about "love".
That feels like a pretty clear "no" to me. There could be all kinds of honest reasons, but she's had plenty of time to plan for it, and there's no conceivable way that she couldn't get away for an hour to meet me for lunch somewhere.
I'm 98% convinced that as of Saturday evening, I'll be an official Hermit.
I can understand why you changed what you decided to do with not dating when you met her since it seemed so promising at first.
It sucks that she seems to be withdrawing again. If that's the case it's better she did it now rather than keep you going for a while then doing it again when you were feeling more enthusiastic potentially, but I know that doesn't make this a happy thing at this time in any way. 😢
It's good that you can see the effect your parent's marriage has had on you. Hopefully you'll be able to overcome some of the ill effects. Not easy to do, but possible. 🙂
The Hermit in the tarot deck is ruled by Virgo, interestingly. But it's only one facet of Virgo, don't worry. 🙂. Being a hermit can be good and healing at times. Not if you do it forever, obviously, but it can help lead to better relationships if the time is spent working on patterns so they have less of a chance to repeat.
I had to be a hermit for a while after the last LTR I was in. Not the one that was before the guy who ran from me, the one I'm referring to ended a few years ago. It was traumatic because the person, toward the end, increasingly suffered with mental illness. It took a long time for me to be ready to date anyone after that. I maintained my friendships, and got lots of great support, and finally I emerged better off than I had been before I entered that relationship. But I'm still working on undoing some of the ways that the person affected my sense of myself. I got so used to bracing for disappointments, etc. with them.
It sucks that she seems to be withdrawing again. If that's the case it's better she did it now rather than keep you going for a while then doing it again when you were feeling more enthusiastic potentially, but I know that doesn't make this a happy thing at this time in any way. 😢
It's good that you can see the effect your parent's marriage has had on you. Hopefully you'll be able to overcome some of the ill effects. Not easy to do, but possible. 🙂
The Hermit in the tarot deck is ruled by Virgo, interestingly. But it's only one facet of Virgo, don't worry. 🙂. Being a hermit can be good and healing at times. Not if you do it forever, obviously, but it can help lead to better relationships if the time is spent working on patterns so they have less of a chance to repeat.
I had to be a hermit for a while after the last LTR I was in. Not the one that was before the guy who ran from me, the one I'm referring to ended a few years ago. It was traumatic because the person, toward the end, increasingly suffered with mental illness. It took a long time for me to be ready to date anyone after that. I maintained my friendships, and got lots of great support, and finally I emerged better off than I had been before I entered that relationship. But I'm still working on undoing some of the ways that the person affected my sense of myself. I got so used to bracing for disappointments, etc. with them.
Copper... I read Tarot, too (daily) :-) The Hermit is also my Soul and Personality card. Which is odd considering that I'm very outgoing and love having a group of friends, but it makes me think that I'm destined to be alone, anyway.
But anyway, she and I chatted this morning. She texted me as soon as she woke up. She mentioned me coming to see her at work next week, and I asked why I couldn't see her today.
She said that today is her sister's First Communion, and her whole family is there. She promises to make time for me one day next week.
See, perfectly legitimate excuse, right? I mean, how can I argue with that? Except that I can't imagine this was a surprise Communion, so she knew about it when we made plans on Tuesday.
As an added bonus, when she suggested one day next week, she asked if she could bring her kids. That was a shock to me, since I've never met them. On the one hand, that's a big step... introducing me to her kids, who will then tell their dad about it? On the other hand, they're out of school now, so she probably just doesn't want to pay for a sitter... and with kids there, it's not like I'm going to go for a kiss or anything.
I left it at, "sure, just let me know". I'm certainly not holding my breath or getting excited (again). As far as I'm concerned, I made tentative plans with a flaky friend, and that's all.
But anyway, she and I chatted this morning. She texted me as soon as she woke up. She mentioned me coming to see her at work next week, and I asked why I couldn't see her today.
She said that today is her sister's First Communion, and her whole family is there. She promises to make time for me one day next week.
See, perfectly legitimate excuse, right? I mean, how can I argue with that? Except that I can't imagine this was a surprise Communion, so she knew about it when we made plans on Tuesday.
As an added bonus, when she suggested one day next week, she asked if she could bring her kids. That was a shock to me, since I've never met them. On the one hand, that's a big step... introducing me to her kids, who will then tell their dad about it? On the other hand, they're out of school now, so she probably just doesn't want to pay for a sitter... and with kids there, it's not like I'm going to go for a kiss or anything.
I left it at, "sure, just let me know". I'm certainly not holding my breath or getting excited (again). As far as I'm concerned, I made tentative plans with a flaky friend, and that's all.
Lost interest? No, definitely not! I've thought of nothing but her all day.
But I asked for advice from people that understand her, and I'd be a fool to ignore it. The wide majority think that she's not really interested and is maybe just playing with me (all but 1 person, really), and I have to accept that.
Until there's some sort of proof to show otherwise (a genuine effort to be with me, a kiss, something), then I have to protect myself. If she makes that kind of gesture, though, then I'm all in!
** It'd have to be soon, though. She can't wait a month, and THEN decide to make an effort. By then, I'll have already moved on.
But I asked for advice from people that understand her, and I'd be a fool to ignore it. The wide majority think that she's not really interested and is maybe just playing with me (all but 1 person, really), and I have to accept that.
Until there's some sort of proof to show otherwise (a genuine effort to be with me, a kiss, something), then I have to protect myself. If she makes that kind of gesture, though, then I'm all in!
** It'd have to be soon, though. She can't wait a month, and THEN decide to make an effort. By then, I'll have already moved on.
I agree that a surprise First Communion is rather unlikely!
It's hard to imagine that she's that poor at planning and/or remembering things, though with her reaction of surprise that you dated her friend, who knows, maybe she's very scatty at times.
That stated, the timing of when she gets scatty seems to me to be distancing that she may not be consciously aware of to some degree. And perhaps she has problems being direct with people in general so she can't say no directly and she takes a bit of a coward's way out.
Whether she is consciously playing with you or not I can't prove, but I doubt it's masterminded, so to speak. It might be more that she's not stable and lacks maturity and can't see the consequences of her actions properly because she's too self involved to think about your side of things. But the feedback you got from people who know her, if they seem trustworthy, is good to pay attention to.
So her background is Catholic, and her family is strict. That could explain a few things about the kinds of dilemmas she has, and even if she rebels against them she's still being influenced by them, most likely, particularly since she doesn't live apart from them. I've noticed that many people who grew up Catholic are prone to feeling guilty about all kinds of things, even if they aren't practicing Catholics any more. They might even start to feel guilty if they don't think they're feeling guilty enough about something - it's that pervasive at times. I've known many very indecisive people with that background thanks to the guilt they wrestle with.
With the bringing her kids plan, I can see why you're weighing the reasons she might have for that. She seems so self focused to me that I'd be more inclined to say she doesn't want to hire a babysitter, or whatever, but who knows. I hope that if it goes ahead you'll be able to see if you want to even bother being a friend to her or not.
Cool about the tarot! Any favourite decks? One of my favourites is The Tarot of the Sevenfold Mystery by Robert M. Place. The artwork is inspired by the Pre-Raphaelite artist Edward Burne-Jones.
Hopefully your destiny isn't that you're going to be alone. If it is, then try to trust that you'll be happy about it. lol I know what it's like to wonder if that's going to be the way it is. I've sometimes thought that about myself. I'm currently dating a great person but I have no idea what the future will be with them, I'm still getting to know them.
It's hard to imagine that she's that poor at planning and/or remembering things, though with her reaction of surprise that you dated her friend, who knows, maybe she's very scatty at times.
That stated, the timing of when she gets scatty seems to me to be distancing that she may not be consciously aware of to some degree. And perhaps she has problems being direct with people in general so she can't say no directly and she takes a bit of a coward's way out.
Whether she is consciously playing with you or not I can't prove, but I doubt it's masterminded, so to speak. It might be more that she's not stable and lacks maturity and can't see the consequences of her actions properly because she's too self involved to think about your side of things. But the feedback you got from people who know her, if they seem trustworthy, is good to pay attention to.
So her background is Catholic, and her family is strict. That could explain a few things about the kinds of dilemmas she has, and even if she rebels against them she's still being influenced by them, most likely, particularly since she doesn't live apart from them. I've noticed that many people who grew up Catholic are prone to feeling guilty about all kinds of things, even if they aren't practicing Catholics any more. They might even start to feel guilty if they don't think they're feeling guilty enough about something - it's that pervasive at times. I've known many very indecisive people with that background thanks to the guilt they wrestle with.
With the bringing her kids plan, I can see why you're weighing the reasons she might have for that. She seems so self focused to me that I'd be more inclined to say she doesn't want to hire a babysitter, or whatever, but who knows. I hope that if it goes ahead you'll be able to see if you want to even bother being a friend to her or not.
Cool about the tarot! Any favourite decks? One of my favourites is The Tarot of the Sevenfold Mystery by Robert M. Place. The artwork is inspired by the Pre-Raphaelite artist Edward Burne-Jones.
Hopefully your destiny isn't that you're going to be alone. If it is, then try to trust that you'll be happy about it. lol I know what it's like to wonder if that's going to be the way it is. I've sometimes thought that about myself. I'm currently dating a great person but I have no idea what the future will be with them, I'm still getting to know them.
But the feedback you got from people who know her, if they seem trustworthy, is good to pay attention to.
I meant, on here 🙂 I know better than to talk about our "relationship" to her friends, at least until she does! Scorpios hate that! LOL
That could explain a few things about the kinds of dilemmas she has...
Very true. A few weeks ago we had plans that she couldn't make, and two days she texted me that she felt really bad and wanted to talk. That's when she first told me about her ex pressuring her to go back to him. But the thing is, she couldn't tell me that immediately; she had to wait until I was hurt and giving up.
Cool about the tarot! Any favourite decks?
I only have the Enchanted Tarot. I got it when I was a teenager, so it's been with me for more than 20 years. I like to think that it knows me best 🙂 Plus, I like that it has Hearts instead of Cups, and Prince/Princess instead of Knights/Pages (3 out of 4 court cards being male doesn't make sense to me). I only read for myself, though; if I read for other people, I'd probably get a different deck for that.
I've recently started learning about Elemental Dignities, too, which is taking my readings up a notch.
I meant, on here 🙂 I know better than to talk about our "relationship" to her friends, at least until she does! Scorpios hate that! LOL
That could explain a few things about the kinds of dilemmas she has...
Very true. A few weeks ago we had plans that she couldn't make, and two days she texted me that she felt really bad and wanted to talk. That's when she first told me about her ex pressuring her to go back to him. But the thing is, she couldn't tell me that immediately; she had to wait until I was hurt and giving up.
Cool about the tarot! Any favourite decks?
I only have the Enchanted Tarot. I got it when I was a teenager, so it's been with me for more than 20 years. I like to think that it knows me best 🙂 Plus, I like that it has Hearts instead of Cups, and Prince/Princess instead of Knights/Pages (3 out of 4 court cards being male doesn't make sense to me). I only read for myself, though; if I read for other people, I'd probably get a different deck for that.
I've recently started learning about Elemental Dignities, too, which is taking my readings up a notch.
@busyeyes:
As far as I'm concerned, I made tentative plans with a flaky friend, and that's all.
That was several hours ago.
As far as I'm concerned, I made tentative plans with a flaky friend, and that's all.
That was several hours ago.
lol, okay, thanks for explaining that you meant people here, not people who know her in person.
Finding out things a lot after the fact from her must be very frustrating. I agree it shouldn't take you showing obvious hurt, etc. for her to come forward with things that she should be telling you ASAP.
the Enchanted Tarot looks great. I've never had that one. I agree about the problem with most decks and the Knight and Page. The tarot deck I mentioned has them as Lady and Knight and uses more equal divide between male and female with the other cards as well.
I'm quite new to the Elemental Dignities too but it really helps! Long ago I had tarot cards but I didn't learn the meanings and symbols in depth and back then I tended to use them to ask questions about a guy I really liked at the time. That was when I was a teenager. The deck I mostly used became too associated with him. I don't use that deck any more - it's long gone.
I also found it helpful to learn numerology to understand the numbering system in tarot.
Finding out things a lot after the fact from her must be very frustrating. I agree it shouldn't take you showing obvious hurt, etc. for her to come forward with things that she should be telling you ASAP.
the Enchanted Tarot looks great. I've never had that one. I agree about the problem with most decks and the Knight and Page. The tarot deck I mentioned has them as Lady and Knight and uses more equal divide between male and female with the other cards as well.
I'm quite new to the Elemental Dignities too but it really helps! Long ago I had tarot cards but I didn't learn the meanings and symbols in depth and back then I tended to use them to ask questions about a guy I really liked at the time. That was when I was a teenager. The deck I mostly used became too associated with him. I don't use that deck any more - it's long gone.
I also found it helpful to learn numerology to understand the numbering system in tarot.
What have your tarot readings said about your relationship with the Scorpio woman?
Finding out things a lot after the fact from her must be very frustrating.
EXTREMELY!! Of course, I've learned along the way that people treat you the way they expect to be treated. I guess that she wouldn't take it personally at all if I bailed at the last minute, and she would neither expect nor care about a reason. So she assumes that's how I am.
I also recognize that she's only had 2 real boyfriends in her life, one of which being the father of her kids and the other preceding him, so she has about as much experience in dating as I have. I've chalked a lot of her behavior up to simply not knowing better.
Which isn't exactly fair to me.
If we even remain friends, I'm going to have to start calling her out on these kinds of things. Not to hurt her, but to teach her what's socially acceptable.
What have your tarot readings said about your relationship with the Scorpio woman?
For the most part, everything is totally positive! I get positive Hearts cards with just about every read. Through the whole week that she had disappeared, the Shadow card was the Ace of Hearts, every time.
This is one of the reasons I've stuck it out; the cards keep promising great things if I have patience. And, like I said before, it's not like a have a ton of other prospects beating at my door.
I'm quite new to the Elemental Dignities too but it really helps!
Same here. I've never used reversals, and it was suggested that I use ED's as an alternative. This concept makes sense to me (Water beats Fire, shocker! LOL), so when a traditional reading doesn't make sense, ED's have been helping pull it together.
I also found it helpful to learn numerology to understand the numbering system in tarot.
This is VERY recent for me... like, this week. I had a reading with all 9's that didn't make a bit of sense, and looking online suggested numerology. Using that, it all made perfect sense, and was dead-on accurate. So for now, I'm thinking of it as sort of a back up when a traditional reading and ED's don't make sense 🙂
EXTREMELY!! Of course, I've learned along the way that people treat you the way they expect to be treated. I guess that she wouldn't take it personally at all if I bailed at the last minute, and she would neither expect nor care about a reason. So she assumes that's how I am.
I also recognize that she's only had 2 real boyfriends in her life, one of which being the father of her kids and the other preceding him, so she has about as much experience in dating as I have. I've chalked a lot of her behavior up to simply not knowing better.
Which isn't exactly fair to me.
If we even remain friends, I'm going to have to start calling her out on these kinds of things. Not to hurt her, but to teach her what's socially acceptable.
What have your tarot readings said about your relationship with the Scorpio woman?
For the most part, everything is totally positive! I get positive Hearts cards with just about every read. Through the whole week that she had disappeared, the Shadow card was the Ace of Hearts, every time.
This is one of the reasons I've stuck it out; the cards keep promising great things if I have patience. And, like I said before, it's not like a have a ton of other prospects beating at my door.
I'm quite new to the Elemental Dignities too but it really helps!
Same here. I've never used reversals, and it was suggested that I use ED's as an alternative. This concept makes sense to me (Water beats Fire, shocker! LOL), so when a traditional reading doesn't make sense, ED's have been helping pull it together.
I also found it helpful to learn numerology to understand the numbering system in tarot.
This is VERY recent for me... like, this week. I had a reading with all 9's that didn't make a bit of sense, and looking online suggested numerology. Using that, it all made perfect sense, and was dead-on accurate. So for now, I'm thinking of it as sort of a back up when a traditional reading and ED's don't make sense 🙂
She might take it personally if you bailed last minute. I've known people who are quite hypocritical with things like that. But I'm not an advocate of trying to teach someone a lesson that way, and I imagine you aren't either. It usually doesn't work, based on what I've observed when other people I know have tried that. Being direct is better, like you plan to do if you at least remain friends. If a person cares enough they will try to improve. It's a lot to take on if they have multiple poor ways of dealing with things, of course. Then it can be more like trying to raise a child, and often a power imbalance happens and it can be pretty miserable, from what I've seen with people who were in relationships of that kind.
She has very limited romantic relationship experience, I agree! But I don't think that excuses some of the things that have happened because they aren't specifically about dating, they're about how to treat a friend. I assume she's had friends since childhood, which is enough time to practice being a trustworthy friend. Or maybe she isn't a good friend to anyone either. A lot of unknowns!
But I can understand why you persist when the cards are so clear and consistent, if you find that readings you do for yourself are accurate. I find readings I do for myself accurate, but the more emotion I feel about a situation the harder it can be to interpret something if the situation is complex, but then when something comes to pass, my reading will make a lot of sense. "Oh, that's what it meant!" And sometimes it's quite literal, too, but I was overly complicating things with my interpretation, lol.
I don't use reversals either. I love it when a reading is clear right away, but I agree that using other tools for analysis like ED's and numerology are great when they're needed.
She has very limited romantic relationship experience, I agree! But I don't think that excuses some of the things that have happened because they aren't specifically about dating, they're about how to treat a friend. I assume she's had friends since childhood, which is enough time to practice being a trustworthy friend. Or maybe she isn't a good friend to anyone either. A lot of unknowns!
But I can understand why you persist when the cards are so clear and consistent, if you find that readings you do for yourself are accurate. I find readings I do for myself accurate, but the more emotion I feel about a situation the harder it can be to interpret something if the situation is complex, but then when something comes to pass, my reading will make a lot of sense. "Oh, that's what it meant!" And sometimes it's quite literal, too, but I was overly complicating things with my interpretation, lol.
I don't use reversals either. I love it when a reading is clear right away, but I agree that using other tools for analysis like ED's and numerology are great when they're needed.
So...
What was the end result or conclusion...??
What was the end result or conclusion...??
But I can understand why you persist when the cards are so clear and consistent, if you find that readings you do for yourself are accurate.
I started keeping a journal of all of my readings about 6 months ago. I usually stick to a 3-card spread, counting jumpers and the shadow card. Then I write down my interpretation of the reading, then later the outcome of the reading and how accurate I think it was.
In that time, there has only been 1 time that I thought it was entirely wrong. There was simply no way to misinterpret it; I had done a 1-card draw, asking for general advice for the day, and the result was the 3 of Hearts (celebration, joy, happiness). That was the day that my Scorpio's ex told me that she had never loved me, and was consciously lying the whole time because I was kind and she was hoping that she could grow to love me.
Other than that one time, every other reading has been very accurate. Sometimes, shockingly accurate! So yeah, they did make it easier to persist on this, well past the point where I think I should have given up.
I started keeping a journal of all of my readings about 6 months ago. I usually stick to a 3-card spread, counting jumpers and the shadow card. Then I write down my interpretation of the reading, then later the outcome of the reading and how accurate I think it was.
In that time, there has only been 1 time that I thought it was entirely wrong. There was simply no way to misinterpret it; I had done a 1-card draw, asking for general advice for the day, and the result was the 3 of Hearts (celebration, joy, happiness). That was the day that my Scorpio's ex told me that she had never loved me, and was consciously lying the whole time because I was kind and she was hoping that she could grow to love me.
Other than that one time, every other reading has been very accurate. Sometimes, shockingly accurate! So yeah, they did make it easier to persist on this, well past the point where I think I should have given up.
What was the end result or conclusion...??
Hahahahahaha!
Just for Copper's sake, I'll mention that my Tarot reading for Saturday said that I would be disappointed in love, my main focus would be on work, but I need to be understanding and keep my emotions in control.
So.
I said before that early Saturday morning, she said that she wouldn't be able to come because of her sister's First Communion. Legitimate excuse as usual, I guess, but again, why make plans on Tuesday if she knew this was going to be the same day? I can't imagine it was a big surprise.
But she kept texting me all morning long, sending me pics of the Communion, etc. She was worried that I didn't believe her. And honestly, I was a little cool towards her; I believed her about the Communion, but like I said, I was backing off emotionally and just treating her like every other friend.
At around 1pm, I mentioned that she should sneak away and come to see me, anyway (I live maybe 5 minutes away from her). She said OK, and asked for my address! I was surprised, but sent it to her.
An hour and a half later, still hadn't seen her. I sent her a message and asked if she's still coming, and she said "Yes".
Another hour and a half later... where are you? No reply, so I went to eat dinner.
At 7:30, she finally replied and said, "I can't get away, I'll come see you Monday, I promise".
So, as usual, this felt like very mixed signals. She certainly made it feel like she WANTED to be with me, and went to some lengths to make sure I didn't think she was lying. But, as usual, the actions didn't match the words. From 9am until 7:30pm, she couldn't find a single point in the day where she could say "I'm going to the store, be right back"?
Of course, I'm not holding my breath for Monday, and I'm not going to be in the least bit surprised when she doesn't show. If she does, though, that will be the first time that we'll have been alone for any significant amount of time. But I'm looking at this as a friend that's potentially coming to see me until she gives me a significant reason to see it as something more.
I'm totally receptive to whatever, but my days of being the one to make all the effort are pretty much over.
Oh, and Copper... just like the cards said, I got a lot of work done today 🙂
Hahahahahaha!
Just for Copper's sake, I'll mention that my Tarot reading for Saturday said that I would be disappointed in love, my main focus would be on work, but I need to be understanding and keep my emotions in control.
So.
I said before that early Saturday morning, she said that she wouldn't be able to come because of her sister's First Communion. Legitimate excuse as usual, I guess, but again, why make plans on Tuesday if she knew this was going to be the same day? I can't imagine it was a big surprise.
But she kept texting me all morning long, sending me pics of the Communion, etc. She was worried that I didn't believe her. And honestly, I was a little cool towards her; I believed her about the Communion, but like I said, I was backing off emotionally and just treating her like every other friend.
At around 1pm, I mentioned that she should sneak away and come to see me, anyway (I live maybe 5 minutes away from her). She said OK, and asked for my address! I was surprised, but sent it to her.
An hour and a half later, still hadn't seen her. I sent her a message and asked if she's still coming, and she said "Yes".
Another hour and a half later... where are you? No reply, so I went to eat dinner.
At 7:30, she finally replied and said, "I can't get away, I'll come see you Monday, I promise".
So, as usual, this felt like very mixed signals. She certainly made it feel like she WANTED to be with me, and went to some lengths to make sure I didn't think she was lying. But, as usual, the actions didn't match the words. From 9am until 7:30pm, she couldn't find a single point in the day where she could say "I'm going to the store, be right back"?
Of course, I'm not holding my breath for Monday, and I'm not going to be in the least bit surprised when she doesn't show. If she does, though, that will be the first time that we'll have been alone for any significant amount of time. But I'm looking at this as a friend that's potentially coming to see me until she gives me a significant reason to see it as something more.
I'm totally receptive to whatever, but my days of being the one to make all the effort are pretty much over.
Oh, and Copper... just like the cards said, I got a lot of work done today 🙂
That was the day that my Scorpio's ex told me
Sorry, typo there in the next to last post. I meant to say "That was the day that my ex, my Scorpio's friend, told me..."
Sorry, typo there in the next to last post. I meant to say "That was the day that my ex, my Scorpio's friend, told me..."
You leave her big tips when you come to see her at work, am I right?
Fella, it ain't happening. Did you even come up with ten reasons/things you liked about her when I asked the other day or did you just waffle lots again? Your cards know you well. It's horrible when you like someone or think you like them only to not see the reality right in front of you. Been there, done that. Now, about that photo you had of those sunburn lines...
Hi csdude55,
That's great that your reading predicted things accurately (it's disappointing that it was true, I'm sure, but good that you got a lot of work done!). Excellent that you keep track of your readings. I haven't been tracking most of mine, unless I do a reading for someone else, but I should!
Another disappointment. 😢 I wonder if she'll flake again on Monday.
If a person repeatedly doesn't keep their word like this Scorpio woman, that's definitely bad. If someone was doing this to me I'd be fed up and I would think of them as an acquaintance at most. It repeatedly breaks trust.
It seems that she likes the attention you give her and she doesn't want to lose that but when a real relationship starts to form she flees in one way or another.
That's great that your reading predicted things accurately (it's disappointing that it was true, I'm sure, but good that you got a lot of work done!). Excellent that you keep track of your readings. I haven't been tracking most of mine, unless I do a reading for someone else, but I should!
Another disappointment. 😢 I wonder if she'll flake again on Monday.
If a person repeatedly doesn't keep their word like this Scorpio woman, that's definitely bad. If someone was doing this to me I'd be fed up and I would think of them as an acquaintance at most. It repeatedly breaks trust.
It seems that she likes the attention you give her and she doesn't want to lose that but when a real relationship starts to form she flees in one way or another.
You leave her big tips when you come to see her at work, am I right?
Actually, every time I go, she insists on paying.
Fella, it ain't happening.
I'll be surprised, too!
Did you even come up with ten reasons/things you liked about her when I asked the other day or did you just waffle lots again?
I didn't see that post, sorry. But that's happened several times here. I remember the first day I posted, there were 20 replies, but then that evening there were only 17.
I'll create a second post for this, I'm afraid it will end up being pretty long.
Your cards know you well. It's horrible when you like someone or think you like them only to not see the reality right in front of you.
Yup.
Now, about that photo you had of those sunburn lines...
Sorry, they're faded now. All I have left is my 48" chest, shoulders, and 4-pack abs 😢
Actually, every time I go, she insists on paying.
Fella, it ain't happening.
I'll be surprised, too!
Did you even come up with ten reasons/things you liked about her when I asked the other day or did you just waffle lots again?
I didn't see that post, sorry. But that's happened several times here. I remember the first day I posted, there were 20 replies, but then that evening there were only 17.
I'll create a second post for this, I'm afraid it will end up being pretty long.
Your cards know you well. It's horrible when you like someone or think you like them only to not see the reality right in front of you.
Yup.
Now, about that photo you had of those sunburn lines...
Sorry, they're faded now. All I have left is my 48" chest, shoulders, and 4-pack abs 😢
Excellent that you keep track of your readings. I haven't been tracking most of mine...
I downloaded iDailyDiary from download.com, and it worked out pretty well. A lot of people use Evernote, but it's WAY too big and complicated for my needs.
I note jumpers, then put them back in the deck for shuffling, but when I had a lot of jumpers I would forget them before the end of the shuffle. So I had to start putting them in Notepad. From there, it was an easy transition to just putting the whole thing in iDailyDiary. I can't tell you how interesting it has been to go back over them later!
I wonder if she'll flake again on Monday.
I'll be taking bets, 4:1 odds. The difference this time, though, is that every other time (since our reconnection) she's said "I'll try" or something similar. This is the first time she said "I promise".
I would think of them as an acquaintance at most.
That's one of the reasons I started this thread. About half the time, she has a way of making me feel very special, like I'm the only man in the world to her. She always talks about how awesome and incredible I am, and she's incredibly sweet (and in person, flirty). If she mentions another guy, she's very quick to say "he's just a friend", so I won't get jealous. It all feels like she's 100% in to me.
And when I back away, she always pulls me back in. Like this one... stand me up on Saturday, but then text me all day and promise to come see me Monday.
But when it comes to being together, she puts the work on my lap 100% (I have to come see her when she gets off work), and she avoids alone time like I'm a leper. It makes me constantly ask, why? Is it that she doesn't want to be alone with me because she doesn't really like me? Is she afraid I'm going to make a move? Or is she just shy and nervous? Or is it that she doesn't trust herself (sexually) to be alone with me, potentially putting her in a vulnerable position (emotionally)?
Maybe this is the Virgo in me, but the odd thing is that all of this makes her somewhat more appealing. I'm constantly trying to figure her out, so she's on my mind all the time. I'm constantly trying different tactics to see what works and what doesn't. So, on some level, it's been kind of fun. Whether she knows this or not, though, I don't know.
But if she's really not interested and making a fool out of me, then that's not so much fun anymore.
continued...
I downloaded iDailyDiary from download.com, and it worked out pretty well. A lot of people use Evernote, but it's WAY too big and complicated for my needs.
I note jumpers, then put them back in the deck for shuffling, but when I had a lot of jumpers I would forget them before the end of the shuffle. So I had to start putting them in Notepad. From there, it was an easy transition to just putting the whole thing in iDailyDiary. I can't tell you how interesting it has been to go back over them later!
I wonder if she'll flake again on Monday.
I'll be taking bets, 4:1 odds. The difference this time, though, is that every other time (since our reconnection) she's said "I'll try" or something similar. This is the first time she said "I promise".
I would think of them as an acquaintance at most.
That's one of the reasons I started this thread. About half the time, she has a way of making me feel very special, like I'm the only man in the world to her. She always talks about how awesome and incredible I am, and she's incredibly sweet (and in person, flirty). If she mentions another guy, she's very quick to say "he's just a friend", so I won't get jealous. It all feels like she's 100% in to me.
And when I back away, she always pulls me back in. Like this one... stand me up on Saturday, but then text me all day and promise to come see me Monday.
But when it comes to being together, she puts the work on my lap 100% (I have to come see her when she gets off work), and she avoids alone time like I'm a leper. It makes me constantly ask, why? Is it that she doesn't want to be alone with me because she doesn't really like me? Is she afraid I'm going to make a move? Or is she just shy and nervous? Or is it that she doesn't trust herself (sexually) to be alone with me, potentially putting her in a vulnerable position (emotionally)?
Maybe this is the Virgo in me, but the odd thing is that all of this makes her somewhat more appealing. I'm constantly trying to figure her out, so she's on my mind all the time. I'm constantly trying different tactics to see what works and what doesn't. So, on some level, it's been kind of fun. Whether she knows this or not, though, I don't know.
But if she's really not interested and making a fool out of me, then that's not so much fun anymore.
continued...
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