Evaluating Scorp-Capricorn Friendship

Question on Scorpio behavior. Background : I'm a Capricorn male and my relatively new friend of 8 months is a Scorpio male. Platonic brotherly relationship. I'm several years older. We used to work together and became fast friends. I was his "unofficial" mentor and he shared different personal aspects of his life. We formed a bond. He was let go from work beginning of June and is still unemployed. The day after he contacted me and gave me his cell# and a gmail address and said "keep in touch. I'd love to use you as a reference." I have made every effort to keep in touch sending an email or text message once a week. I eventually get an email reply 2 weeks later if I'm lucky. Or just when I'm ready to delete him I get a reply back. We did catch up over lunch one time at end of June and made plans again recently. I had him select the day that works best for him being sensitive to his unemployment. He chose last Thurs and contacted me that AM saying "sorry have to cancel. how about Monday? I'm going away for w/e" I replied that he should contact me Mon AM to finalize lunch plans. Well that never happened, thus my continued frustration. Caps like to stick to a schedule y'know. I did send an email & text on Tues AM asking "Are you okay?" No reply. I find this to be rude but I'm not going to lash out until I know the story.

I read that Scorps like their space to regroup which I am sensitive to b/c of his unemployment but as a Cap I hate to be ignored. I never had a Scorp buddy before but heard Scorps-Caps friendships are solid. I am just confused by the hot/cold disappearing act then reappear like nothing happened. It doesn't help that he has adult ADHD.

I want to think better of this guy b/c he is like a kid bro but I can't shake the thought I'm being used for a reference when the time arises.

Any insight into the Scorp psyche would be greatly appreciated!

hmmm....my two cents..

ok.. I expect my friends to not be so sensitive about these kind of matters actually. If I don't reply one day, it means our friendship is over? come on now cappy... that's just weak.. as a person I need intense loyalty.. maybe I'm busy.. maybe I forgot to reply.. maybe I didn't feel like talking to anybody at that particular moment.. but that doesn't mean they're not my friends... do you see my point cappy70?

also, it's funny but I do this often.. ask my friends to hang out on this and that day.. but I always cancel. My friends are used to this already..that's why when there is a party and I'm there.. that's like a big deal for them cos I showed up! LOL reason behind it: 1. I'm lazy..2. something came up.. 3. I'm just lazy... hehe...

in any case, I posted on one of the threads here that I got accused before of using someone because I didn't attend her whatever choir concert..so according to her, I only called her when I needed help... I was shocked when she said that because for me... we're not that close.. =S anyway... he might think of u the same way... I say, just help him..whats wrong with helping others without expecting anything in return?? plus he's going through rough time right now.. he's unemployed u said.. someday, when you're in need... he'll return the favor 10x as much... unless u want a romantic relationship with this person.. that's another story.

I get what the posters above are saying. I still want to be friends with this person and believe they do too. It's just frustrating b/c the "unwritten rule" among all my other buds is text me, respond w/in 24 hrs. Maybe he's a flake. Btw, I will give a good reference no matter what. good karma!

Posted by cappy70
I get what the posters above are saying. I still want to be friends with this person and believe they do too. It's just frustrating b/c the "unwritten rule" among all my other buds is text me, respond w/in 24 hrs. Maybe he's a flake. Btw, I will give a good reference no matter what. good karma!

hi cappy... he prolly does not know this "unwritten rule" of yours.... why not tell him about it when you get to talk to him again...

in the mean time, don't think too much... you don't need anything from him... he does from you.. so surely, he'll contact you soon enough.. =)

Posted by LadyLibra12
I strongly disagree with fall&rise that you may have some 'romantic' feelings for him and I disagree with ALL of the other posters who are saying that you are "too sensitive". They are just excusing the Scorpio's bad behavior.

Quite frankly, your Scorpio is not a good friend and the best thing to do would be to just let him go. If he isn't going to put any effort into your friendship, then it is not worth it.

I have gone through something very similar with a Scorpio in my own life. You are NOT being sensitive, OP, and you aren't alone in being unfairly treated by a Scorpio "friend". This is just how Scorpios are. The only difference between your case and mine is that I'm a Libra and also the Scorpio and I were closer.

Scorpios (*referring ONLY to those who act like this and not to the civilized Scorpios who actually know how to treat people*), you really need to get your acts together and stop treating people like this! It isn't fair and it isn't right. We are NOT being "sensitive". We simply ask that you treat us decently and fairly. DECENT people do not ignore their friends and treat them as little pets to have around when it's convenient. Friendship means that you actually communicate and put some EFFORT into the relationship. Without regular maintenance, things fall apart, no matter how sturdy they are. Scorpios are known for their intensity and passion, so we know that you guys aren't lazy. Also, people know that Scorpios aren't stupid, thoughtless, careless, or inattentive to detail, so it's pretty obvious that Scorpio behavior is no mere accident or oversight. You people are too smart for that: you know *exactly* what you are doing, and the rest of us aren't as stupid as you think.

As to the good Scorpios out there, please educate the others on what it means to be a loyal friend.

(o.O) I find this too demanding for me.. especially if we didn't grow up together (OP said they know each other for 8 months)... we all have lives to attend to... plus what if we got nothing nice to talk about anyways? and we didn't want to discuss it with others? i mean.. a lot of things can be happening here...So yes, sometimes, I don't pick up calls. yes, Sometimes I don't answer text messages. But most often than not, I'll return the call/text.. sooner or later when I feel better or when I'm not too busy... it doesn't make me a bad person..

FRI

damn my msg has been cut off and I"m lazy to type it again.. so nevermind..

I am too a cappy! This goat will kick ya but has mellowed over the years and give people second chances. Been burned before by so-called "friends". First time Scorpio friendship. Regardless of the sign I think it is common courtesy to reply to someone if they make the effort to contact you. The person in question has made it a point to keep me updated on their life (dad has health problems, job search, etc) - just on their own time table. That is why it is confusing for me. I don't beg anyone to be my friend and already have a romantic relationship. Guess I will wait for his eventual (?) response.

Posted by cappy70
I am too a cappy! This goat will kick ya but has mellowed over the years and give people second chances. Been burned before by so-called "friends". First time Scorpio friendship. Regardless of the sign I think it is common courtesy to reply to someone if they make the effort to contact you. The person in question has made it a point to keep me updated on their life (dad has health problems, job search, etc) - just on their own time table. That is why it is confusing for me. I don't beg anyone to be my friend and already have a romantic relationship. Guess I will wait for his eventual (?) response.

GOOD ANSWER cappy!!! now be patient.. then get your revenge! WAHAHAHAHA!!! (just kidding) I guess I'm not evolved.. don't listen to me.

Posted by pigeonpie

The friends I still keep in contact/non contact😛😛 with I've known since 12+, and We're all pretty much the same when it comes to communication, as we've developed our own lives and preferences alongside the constant bickering,arguing, laughing at their pain🙂 etc etc.
Love it or hate it, people outside of that are usually (but not always) fleeting, passing through.
A reason,a season, a lifetime and all that jazz.
Plus, they openly admit they're a bit jealous of the amount of freedom I still have 🙂





haha! my friends have been with me since we were 3y/o!!! we don't talk too often as well..but yeah.. they're my chosen family.. no need to talk everyday or every week... we just update each other every now and then.. that's what I'm trying to say.. (yes we fight.. yes we sometimes hurt each other unintentionally.. but we're still friends... that's how loyalty is tested...)


@ LS: i see your point... yeah.. that's kinda wrong.. at least have the decency to cancel LOL. but then again, he prolly didn't take it seriously so he thought cappy forgot.. or he forgot..who knows..

"Caught in a bad BRO-mance." Cappy dry wit. Told ya so.

Seriously though, someone mentioned that my friend may be in a "depression". I thought of this too. Right after he lost the job he went to the beach (water sign) to regroup. This was by himself and he was incommunicato. I also think there me be a quarterlife crisis brewing if it is not in full swing already. That coupled with the fact that he seriosly does have ADHD and may not be able to afford the meds has left me "empathetic" not "sympathetic" because his past actions have come back to haunt him (lost job). Since our friendship started at work I do not want to keep pestering him if I am a reminder of the lost job. This is why even though it irks me I will wait awhile to see if he initiates communication. I did tell him in an email that I hate to be ignored. Passive agressive way to get my point across since I could not do it face to face.

Who's Mr. Tate or BG? First time poster today - for real - after reading through the Capricorn and now Scorpio forums for weeks.

Reviewed the topics, not the names of the OP's I DO remember Scorpio Chick b/c of her Avatar. : )

Posted by LovelyScorp
No, wait...

Cappy70 is BG and danceRfromTheEasT is pigeonpie.

Cappy70 can't be BG... BG is from the UK base on his profile.. Cappy is American.. or at least uses American english.. =)

@ LS: way to go proving Scorpio-women-paranoia! hahaha...

I don't see why people can't believe this is a Cap. Capricorns are sensitive they have just have the cold facade they put up and they do it better than anyone else. And I agree with LadyLibra. You're there for your friends whether they need to talk, vent, going through shit or any other time not just when its convenient for you. Bullshit. And SMH at people calling this gay just cause its a man, but men still have feelings they bottle up too much and I see why.