fellow scorps, need someone to lean on (Page 2)

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by alicialicia
My Cancer man just broke up with me... over text. We dated on and off for 8 months and then finally a month ago made it official. We told each other we loved each other. The last month has been the best one yet, with minor disagreements. Then this morning we were going back and forth because I told him I was disappointed that he forgot our plans for today. Last night he was supposed to come over after work because I was feeling really down. But he blew me off. And today when I explained to him that I was disappointed that he a) didn't come over like he promised and b) completely forgot our plans for today, he suddenly says this isn't working and we both know it. It floored me. It was one little disagreement and he just dumped me........But how do I heal? I can't eat, I don't know how I'm going to sleep. And he won't even talk to me on the phone, let alone in person, about what happened.

I'm late, but I figured I'd comment anyway. Given the fact that you have been off and on for 8 month I'm guessing this break up wasn't over one "little disagreement". The fact that you're choosing to focus solely on that or you're oblivious to the ongoing issues you were having may be part of the problem. You both sound to be struggling to make things work and he pulled the plug. It's possible that he did love you or cared for you, but that isn't enough of a reason to stay with someone. It doesn't make the statement a lie. Love does not mean one should stay in an unhappy situation.

I'm not sure trying to talk to him about it would make much difference simply because you would be doing something that conflicts with the other: accept the break up and work things out. Choose one and my suggestion would be the former. I mean be honest with yourself, even if he explained "what happened" would it really matter? Certain things stick with Scorps and how this played out will be one of those things for you. You sound too deeply wounded to move past any explanation he could give you, so it makes sense to try to move forward.

Anyway, try to simply to do something nice for yourself. Everyday. The goal isn't to forget him, because you won't be able to do that and that approach will lead to you to beat yourself up when it's not happening fast enough. The goal is to do something small or nice to take your mind off of him for a few moments to an hour. Also, purge your thoughts into a journal. Don't let them occupy your mind. Purge, do something nice, purge, do something nice. You will see over time you will think of him less and less. Your appetite will return in time.

click to expand

I don't think it's fair for anyone to say they 'guess' this isn't the only reason but whatever. We DATED on and off and then became serio

about 6 weeks ago. Once I'm all in, I'm all in. I take that stuff seriously. Anyway, he texted me yesterday "Don't think I didn't or don't care..." I didn't reply. The damage is done. Thanks for your advice though!

Posted by BlackMamba

Posted by alicialicia
about 6 weeks ago. Once I'm all in, I'm all in. I take that stuff seriously. Anyway, he texted me yesterday "Don't think I didn't or don't care..." I didn't reply. The damage is done. Thanks for your advice though!

Obviously you weren't all in or he wouldn't have dropped you!

Something about you makes him feel insecure about the relationship.

click to expand

Or he's just a self absorbed narcissist. Plenty of those in the world.