Incestual relationships

So...I am making a huge decision with my husband, basically the idea of divorce. Among other problems, one of our biggest problems is his relationship with his mom (btw, we're both Scorps). He has a very inappropriate relatioinship with her, a sexual relationship, of sorts, to be more specific. I can never feel comfortable when they hang out alone, with his own mother, it seems so wrong. I also get jealous everytime they talk on the phone. I'm seriously thinking about getting a divorce because I feel second in my husbands life in comparison to his mom. I also can't get over the idea of them doing things together, it's deeply disturbing to me and is stuck in my head anytime we do something intimate. What makes it worse is that he refuses to cut his mom off. I understand it is his mom, but, at the same time, it's not normal to have that kind of relationship with your mother.

What would you do in my situation? I feel like I'm not explaining the situation very well, for I'm pretty sick and can't think too clearly. I just want advice as to what i should do. At this point, I feel like breaking off my marriage is the best decision I could make, but I'm not sure and would like either reassurance or better advice.

Ugh, sorry if this is porrly written or doesn't give enough information.

Oh god, I can't say I blame you. ... that is a minefield I personally would not want to tread. One of my exes had what I considered an inappropriate relationship with mommy, but yours makes him sound tame by comparison ...

Okay sooo like, how sexual are we talking? and when is the last time it happened?
Was it a molestation thing or mutual?

Odd....you wrote on another thread few weeks ago your husband was overseas in the military..right? And that you were happily married...right?

Posted by AutumnalChick
Oh god, I can't say I blame you. ... that is a minefield I personally would not want to tread. One of my exes had what I considered an inappropriate relationship with mommy, but yours makes him sound tame by comparison ...

Okay sooo like, how sexual are we talking? and when is the last time it happened?
Was it a molestation thing or mutual?

I wish it was just a molestation thing, but it's mutual. My uncle actually dated his mom for a period of time and she would disappear at night and sneak into her sons (my husbands) bedroom when he was 16 and sleep naked with him in there. Nothing physical has happened between him and his mom since we've been married (that I know of), but he does things like texts her to brag about all the great sex we'll have that night cuz he knows it'll make her jealous. He'll sneak out of bed and privately call her while I'm sleeping in hopes that I won't know. He also keeps financial secrets with his mom, such as giving her a power of attorney and not even tellig me this before he left for Afghanistan, but claiming he didn't realize he signed a power of attorney once I found out and brought it up to him.

So, even though nothing sexual has most likely happened between them since we've been married, there are still serious issues regarding his mother and how she plays into our marriage. She is also extremely possessive and jealous of our marriage, constantly trying to get us to divorce or find ways to make us lose trust in each other or screw each other over. It's a situation I never dreamed of being in, but makes it difficult for I love my husband deeply, more deeply than I've ever loved anyone before, so it's difficult for me to not be in denial about this situation.

I've read nothing just the OP title... WTF!!!!— ewww.

Posted by BigGirlPanties
Odd....you wrote on another thread few weeks ago your husband was overseas in the military..right? And that you were happily married...right?

lol Yes, I did, I'm trying to face up to the reality of the situation and make a decision. We are happily married.....if his mother didn't exist. Because he's deployed it's easy to forget his mother influences our marriage at all, seeing as I never hear from her, but now that RnR is coming up he wants to go visit his mom with or without me. I suppose you could say it's making me re-examine my marriage.

Oh my Jesus.
Honey? Therapy. Stat.
He has got to make a choice, his wife or his mom, and someone (not you, but a professional who is not emotionally attached to the situation) needs to help him understand how very, very unhealthy and dysfunctional that is.
I really think that unless he is willing to go see a counselor with you, you might as well call a lawyer now.

Posted by exoskeleton
what in the fuck?

i'd be gone as soon as i found out. why have you put up with it so long?

I suppose because we're married and live in a foreign country. I'm not sure where I would go or live if we got a divorce. I don't even have a car to live in cuz I don't own a car. lol It's a little more difficult to get a divorce than it is to break up. No one walks into a marriage with the intentions of giving up on it.

he should marry his mom

p.s. this shits too good to be true

Posted by exoskeleton
"but he does things like texts her to brag about all the great sex we'll have that night cuz he knows it'll make her jealous. He'll sneak out of bed and privately call her while I'm sleeping in hopes that I won't know."

"She is also extremely possessive and jealous of our marriage, constantly trying to get us to divorce or find ways to make us lose trust in each other or screw each other over."

again, what in the fuck?

Alright...so I'm not the only that thinks it's fucked up. lol It's hard to tell sometimes, to be honest, being around my husband so much, it's almost as though I've had to somewhat be accepting of it in order for the marriage to survive. I can't do it anymore though.

It's a little more difficult to get a divorce than it is to break up. No one walks into a marriage with the intentions of giving up on it.

True, but if a real deal breaker comes up along the way, you gotta protect yourself and consider the big D. This is most definitely a deal breaker.
You can always pull yourself back onto your feet after leaving him, it is infinitely better than being sucked into his SERIOUSLY MESSED UP family dynamic. After a while, the abnormal starts to become normal.
That's what has happened with him ... and like I said earlier, professional intervention really is the only way he will have a chance of recognizing how deeply disturbing his behavior is.
No marriage could contain something like that and be healthy.

Posted by exoskeleton
what sign is his mom? curious.

OMG exo why hahaha.. ugh.. is he really a mother fucker😢

Posted by exoskeleton
what sign is his mom? curious.

I think her birthday is in....February, but I'm not 100% positive. So an aquarius or pisces maybe.

Posted by oldskoolflavor
looking on the bright side:
at least, he isn't doing your mom

that would be fucked up + betrayal

lmao thanks for the optimism. 😛

Posted by oldskoolflavor
looking on the bright side:
at least, he isn't doing your mom

that would be fucked up + betrayal

Really oldskool?.... Dazed play nice.... Wait is she hot.. I kinda have a thing for older attractive women..😛

Posted by DazedScorp
Is his mom at least good looking?

Is she a Milf?

I guess she might be a MILF. She's like 48 and has fake boobs the size of balloons and is a size three, but has a fucked up looking face. lol why do you want to know? Don't even talk about her being a MILF considerig my jealousy meter. lol

Posted by ThePixilator

Posted by DazedScorp
Is his mom at least good looking?

Is she a Milf?

I guess she might be a MILF. She's like 48 and has fake boobs the size of balloons and is a size three, but has a fucked up looking face. lol why do you want to know? Don't even talk about her being a MILF considerig my jealousy meter. lol

click to expand

That's kewl... ya see in Texas we call that the brown bag special🙂

lol ya, he's from Florida and grew up on a farm when he was young. I'm from Michigan, we basically met through my Uncle who had moved to Florida. He had a southern accent when I first met him, which, at the time, I thought was kind of cute.

Get in touch with JAG. Regardless of the counseling, they can advise you on the legal side of things. If he is proven to be committing any sort of adultery, he will be dishonorably discharged fyi.

So...let me change it a bit...let's say you met your soulmate, like, he's the fucking one, but then you find this out about him. I mean, I've never felt so spiritually connected to someone, intellectually connected, and emotionally connected. Basically connected in every way, but yet we have this hanging over our heads...should I still divorce him? Is it possible to feels this way with more than one person in your life?

Posted by GemIKnow
Get in touch with JAG. Regardless of the counseling, they can advise you on the legal side of things. If he is proven to be committing any sort of adultery, he will be dishonorably discharged fyi.

I actually work as a paralegal in JAG at our base. I have no intentions of getting him in trouble and, besides, he technically isn't committing adultery right now, and I would have to have a picture or video of actual penetration occurring between them for anything to even be done about it. If I don't have that kind of evidence, then he's innocent in the eyes of JAG.

Best thread eva

Man I was looking @ random youtube stuff and porn and checked dxp.. This thread made my balls fall off. Sick fucker!!!

It's your mom... Now my penis is just for show.. Fucking great!!! Fucking scorp board..... I might have a problem😛

You knew of this when you married, or not?

Posted by DazedScorp

Posted by exoskeleton
what sign is his mom? curious.

LMAO!

You Exo, of all people...

Figured Elle would be the one to ask this question.

click to expand

Nah, Elle's specialty is Lilith signs 🙂

Sorry, Im not buying this story.

Even though the internet is totally anonymous and we don't know you, this is way too personal to post....on an astrology board no less...to seek advice. You should've posted it on a legal or psychology board.

Your post history says you've been posting since only 12-20-11. Im thinking attention seeker? Just my 2 cents.

Never a dull moment on the Scorpio board, eh!

Posted by ThePixilator
So...let me change it a bit...let's say you met your soulmate, like, he's the fucking one, but then you find this out about him. I mean, I've never felt so spiritually connected to someone, intellectually connected, and emotionally connected. Basically connected in every way, but yet we have this hanging over our heads...should I still divorce him? Is it possible to feels this way with more than one person in your life?

1. Yes, it is possible to feel that way with more than one person in a lifetime.
2. I am assuming you are being honest about this situation, and if you are you can see from everyone's reactions how very screwed up and wrong this is. If you want your marriage to survive, you have to get rid of this SICKNESS that is infecting it. May I suggest getting a therapist for yourself through JAG and make an appointment with that person ASAP. Then have him or her help you find a couples counselor for you and your husband when he gets back.

If your husband refuses to go to counseling with you, even if you tell him you will end the marriage if he doesn't, there really is no hope. if he is not willing to go to therapy to save the marriage, you can't expect him to willingly change this unhealthy situation in his life, especially since from his extremely warped point of view, there is nothing wrong with it.

Only through professional help will your husband recognize how sick the dynamic with his mother is, and how much she has truly damaged him and harmed his ability to have normal, happy, healthy adult relationships.

But, regardless of what he does, get some counseling for yourself. Seriously. You are gonna need some guidance in figuring out how to fix this with your husband, or how to get out of the marriage.

Posted by BigGirlPanties
Sorry, Im not buying this story.

Even though the internet is totally anonymous and we don't know you, this is way too personal to post....on an astrology board no less...to seek advice. You should've posted it on a legal or psychology board.

Your post history says you've been posting since only 12-20-11. Im thinking attention seeker? Just my 2 cents.

Is that even important?

DXP is just entertainment, if she really wanted help for her problem she would be somewhere else.

I'm not so quick to dismiss it as fabrication. Maybe it is, but my best friend is a therapist/ social worker, and through her I have come to learn that this type of sick shit happens waaaay more frequently than you would ever imagine. Incest between parents and children, siblings, cousins, aunts/uncles with nieces/ nephews. Sometimes different combinations within the same family and a lot of times it is the most outwardly normal, sane-looking families that have this little secret. and no they are not all from the South ;p

Yep. My ex had the same with his mother. It wasn't sexual but emotionally she did incest him.

Posted by AutumnalChick
I'm not so quick to dismiss it as fabrication. Maybe it is, but my best friend is a therapist/ social worker, and through her I have come to learn that this type of sick shit happens waaaay more frequently than you would ever imagine. Incest between parents and children, siblings, cousins, aunts/uncles with nieces/ nephews. Sometimes different combinations within the same family and a lot of times it is the most outwardly normal, sane-looking families that have this little secret. and no they are not all from the South ;p

Yep yep

Posted by Pecheresse
Fake.

ur posts seem fake, your sign please.

Posted by ThePixilator
So...I am making a huge decision with my husband, basically the idea of divorce. Among other problems, one of our biggest problems is his relationship with his mom (btw, we're both Scorps). He has a very inappropriate relatioinship with her, a sexual relationship, of sorts, to be more specific. I can never feel comfortable when they hang out alone, with his own mother, it seems so wrong. I also get jealous everytime they talk on the phone. I'm seriously thinking about getting a divorce because I feel second in my husbands life in comparison to his mom. I also can't get over the idea of them doing things together, it's deeply disturbing to me and is stuck in my head anytime we do something intimate. What makes it worse is that he refuses to cut his mom off. I understand it is his mom, but, at the same time, it's not normal to have that kind of relationship with your mother.

What would you do in my situation? I feel like I'm not explaining the situation very well, for I'm pretty sick and can't think too clearly. I just want advice as to what i should do. At this point, I feel like breaking off my marriage is the best decision I could make, but I'm not sure and would like either reassurance or better advice.

Ugh, sorry if this is porrly written or doesn't give enough information.

Posted by Sag89
Yep. My ex had the same with his mother. It wasn't sexual but emotionally she did incest him.

Posted by everevolvingepithet
At least he can claim to be a real motherfucker if nothing else lol

how can you write that?

you are disgusting, need to sort your little brain out!

he was molested as a child? is that a justification. he needs to hung himself and drown/shoot himself and leave the wealth to the wife as MINIMUM. a letter that states he needs immediate attention and a strong overdose of alcohol and drug antagonists.

He also keeps financial secrets with his mom, such as giving her a power of attorney and not even tellig me this before he left for Afghanistan, but claiming he didn't realize he signed a power of attorney once I found out and brought it up to him.

Um, yeah, I'm calling bullshit on this entire scenario too. Incest is a more common situation than it should be, and if you work as a paralegal for JAG than you are more than aware of the number of these cases that occur, as you would have access to some confidential material. Also, you would have plenty of inspiration for hypothetical scenarios to write out in the hopes of some attention here on DXP.
That being said, if you are a paralegal for JAG than you are also privy to information regarding YOUR OWN HUSBAND'S FUCKING FILE and would be aware who he signed a POA over to, as well as when. I wasn't insinuating you should get him in trouble with the military, but IF you were to get free legal advice from JAG than you would be opening the door to him being dishonorably discharged. JAG (if you truly are a paralegal for them) I'm sure you're aware offers counseling as well as legal advice. The counseling they'd most likely refer you to would be one of the chaplains, and if you were to involve a chaplain they wouldn't be allowed to release any personal information you would provide.

Thanks for a bit of entertainment, regardless of the honest truth of the matter.

My first thought when I saw the thread title, was oh it's that gemini that likes to see how many people she can get to comment on her posts. Then I saw that it wasn't her name. It's probably her, under a new name...

Posted by LadyScorpP
Sigh I guess only the Scorpio board can get all this random threads.....

Scorpios love drama.

Posted by Shagattarius
My first thought when I saw the thread title, was oh it's that gemini that likes to see how many people she can get to comment on her posts. Then I saw that it wasn't her name. It's probably her, under a new name...

Oh Lord...no it is NOT that Gemini that likes to rile people up...seriously get over me allready.All of you.

Posted by GemFiregirl1978

Posted by Shagattarius
My first thought when I saw the thread title, was oh it's that gemini that likes to see how many people she can get to comment on her posts. Then I saw that it wasn't her name. It's probably her, under a new name...

Oh Lord...no it is NOT that Gemini that likes to rile people up...seriously get over me allready.All of you.

click to expand

Oh so you have 2 names. clever clever.

Posted by Shagattarius

Posted by GemFiregirl1978

Posted by Shagattarius
My first thought when I saw the thread title, was oh it's that gemini that likes to see how many people she can get to comment on her posts. Then I saw that it wasn't her name. It's probably her, under a new name...

Oh Lord...no it is NOT that Gemini that likes to rile people up...seriously get over me allready.All of you.

Oh so you have 2 names. clever clever.

click to expand

Nope,I do not.I just get tired and take a DXP break.No need to keep same old name as I don't see the point.

Posted by LadyScorpP

Posted by Shagattarius

Posted by LadyScorpP
Sigh I guess only the Scorpio board can get all this random threads.....

Scorpios love drama.

A stereotypical response....too much of a generalization I'd say.

Do keep in mind many of the threads here were not opened by Scorpios themselves, rather they were opened by other signs coming in here with their questions

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Agree to disagree.

To the OP:

So,are you sure that his relationship with his Mom is really sexual in nature?In some cultures,though not US one,family is very tight-knit and there is a lot of physical contact/affection.Actually in most of the world,other than US and Western Europe.But anyways,some people are very close to their family members.I am,but I am not American either.I guess what I am trying to say is,maybe it makes you feel uncomfortable but you are not sure yet?

IF however the relationship is sexual,I would definitely get a divorce.That is just wrong,wrong,wrong and they both need a lot of help.I am sorry you had to get caught in the middle of that:/

Posted by everevolvingepithet
At least he can claim to be a real motherfucker if nothing else lol

lol

THis all sounds highly improbable. I mean what are the odds of that ever happening? One in a million?
With your luck, you should play the lottery. 😉 Then you could buy yourself a better outcome.

Posted by libore

Posted by Sag89
Yep. My ex had the same with his mother. It wasn't sexual but emotionally she did incest him.

his sign?

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Scorpio

Anyone notice how the OP has NOT returned to this thread since we called bullshit?

I was wondering that myself, BGP