How do you know when....

Opinions needed. I had a conversation with a girlfriend the other day and I was pretty offended by what she said. We were discussing my feelings that I've been having for the past year for a Mr. Special Somebody. And her response was: "I don't think you really like him. You just like the IDEA of him" I was sitting there thinking "WHAT?!?!?! I know how I feel and I don't appreciate you downsizing that by any means" (of course I didnt say that to her, I just listened patiently)

So I thought maybe the topic was worth exploring a little more.

How do you know when you are really having genuine feelings for a person vs. liking the IDEA of being with that person?

"Aedimus --->The fact that you seek answers outside yourself is reason enough the think you overly question yourself. That being the case, no answer you find here will help. You know the answers for your questions, especially in matters like these. The only 'question' is, will you find your answer in time, or will a lesson in hardship have to suffice as your resolve?"

Please don't misunderstand my questioning. It's the Virgo in me wanting to look at all aspects. Just because I question and ask the opinions of others DOES NOT mean that I haven't already made up my mind and it DOES NOT mean that I will change my mind. I know how I feel and only time will tell. And the reality is that when you have those feelings, either time will tell or most often times, those feelings are not reciprocated. And life goes on. Doesn't mean that I don't know how to face reality.

"emeraldgem --->Your feelings are valid and she's not downsizing them. But you have to understand when the feelings are being channeled into something you are projecting rather than what is in front of you."

Ok, that makes sense. I took offense with my friend because I felt that she was saying that my feelings weren't valid.
And somebody else put it this way:
In love with person: You feel happy when you're with them and when you're thinking about them. In love with idea of person: Unhappiness, confusion and disappointment.

"Aedimus --->reassurance?"

Once again, to look at things from different aspects. Not reassurance.

"TaurusBabe -->Well ST...if you're having genuine feelings for a person....and are on the same continent...same state and even same town, I don't see how it can take a year for you to express them.
Is this a Virgo thing——??"

Simple...Timing.

"Obviously something is not working here. I mean, the chase is all good fun, but a year? Yes, I think your friend is gently trying to let you know you are wasting your time."

I've come to terms with MY situation. He is not interested. I understand that.

That wasnt the point of this thread. My question was do we as people run into situations where we like the idea of being with a person vs the reality of that person?

"Costipated thinking SouthernT. There's a difference between thinking too much, and thinking just to think. In other words, you are over-thinking about this because you want to. Do you need to? No. Do you like to? Yes. Why? Pfeh, a Virgo's mind is like a rubix cube, only those who REALLY give b*tter will take the time to figure it out. Everyone else will find something more interesting. And do you know why no one will ever solve that puzzle? Because when you aren't looking, a Virgo will move the colors around."

If you're aggravated, or don't give a b*tter, then don't entertain with a response. Simple.

"Another Virgo characteristic. If they don't like what they hear, they quash it or ignore it, or find some way to turn it back at the giver."

wow...It's a matter of simply allowing people to be who they are and not trying to controll who they are or get upset about who they are or how they think. Just let people be who they are instead of concentrating or pointing out negative bull. And what you said is sooo backwards. If I'm asking for opinions and aspects, that means that I am open to whatever may come.....but there is a difference between giving your opinion about a situation and attacking or showing dislike for the opinion that is expressed. You're entitled to your opinion and I'm entitled to mine. But I'm putting you down or attacking you for yours. See the difference? GREAT.

"TaurusBabe--->ST...you know your time with that Scorp flew by...he was interested and you didnt make it a reality. So your friend is right..actually, I agree with her. It seems like you liked the idea of him...and not him."

LOL....see I was trying REALLY hard not to bring him up again. 🙂 The ONLY reason that I didn't is because he was sending hints that he wanted something way more casual than what I wanted. What's the point in expessing how you feel when the other person is expressing that they do not want anything serious? And is trying to slowly let you down gently? What's the point in expressing feelings at that point? I would come off as desperate and I would look and feel like a fool for expressing them when he is basically hinting that rejection is right around the corner...

"TaurusBabe--->But think about it ST. If you were really capable of taking people as they are and not building ideas...would you have raised the question in the first place—?"

Huh? ::scratching my head::

"Aedimus--->Another Virgo characteristic. If they don't like what they hear, they quash it or ignore it, or find some way to turn it back at the giver.
and
"Aedimus--->But Virgo's will not change from their point of view, regardless. Therefore, my answer does not matter because you will use it only for satisfying your curiosity and not for actually answering any of your problems, if in fact you have one. So I guess this was just a test in grammar.

You have to be gentle with your approach when it comes to a Virgo. That's all. 🙂
We are not the emotionless beings that everything thinks we are.

"MercInAries--->i think your friend meant you like who you think he is actually is.
but then, get this, who he is is a perception of what you think of him."

True, but the only thing we have to go off of IS perception. Perception is reality. For example, if a guy percieves a woman to be a slut, then he is only basing that off of how she behaves. The only thing he has to go off of is his perception of her.

"TaurusBabe--->So if you're like me and hate hints...and cloudiness...and all that sh1t...just sit them down and break it down to them. That way...you've expressed how you feel...and it's up to them to act on it or not."

Yeah...tried to do the "talk" and he avoided having the talk all together. So....hey....

Why because you can't fertilize a woman?

I learn from the best. 😉

Thass fo sho

You have to work on insults, ma boy. I see the wheel spinning but the hamster looks dead.

Sorry, I shouldn't call you stupid. I don't want to offend the retards.