Kinda miffed with my Scorpio

Need some help here, yall. Dating a Scorpio about 4 months now, so it's new, but we are exclusive. Something happened tonight that bothered me, but I'm not real sure why it bothered me to be honest so I want some advice on how to deal. I'm a Virgo by the way.

He calls, says he wants to chill tonight. We're heading for a real winter storm so I suggest we make plans contingent on the weather. Later, he suggests he stop by after he gets off his 1st job and have dinner at my place which is on the way to his 2nd job. I say that's cool. He gets there, and he gives me that LOOK (and if you dealt with Scorpios yall know what I mean), so we mess around for a little bit. He works manual labor and said his back was hurting him a little so I give him a massage and he falls asleep. He brought dinner (Chinese), so I put that to the side for when he wakes up, which is 2 hours later - he has to be at work a half-hour later than that. So he wakes up, we eat, and he's like "I gotta go," and I get upset. We end up only having a half-hour together.

But I know he has to go to work, so I just say bye. He must've known I was feeling a certain way because he calls me when he gets to work. I tell him I'm gonna lay down (true) and he just says "Ok, bye." and hangs up. So he knows I'm upset, but the thing is, I'm not real sure why I'm upset. Probably because he fell asleep, but he works three jobs (only two tonight, but he worked all three yesterday), and I know he was tired. I guess I just don't want this to become habit, where he feels like he can come over, mess around, sleep, eat real quick and jet. Do I just say that to him? I have a good (gay) male friend I talk to and he said that if I say all that to a guy who went out of his way to see me when he was obviously tired, I'll seem high maintenance. But I'm Virgo and I can't not be me. I was disappointed. If he was gonna come over, I would hope he'd want to spend some quality time and it just felt like halfway a booty call, I don't know. I appreciate any help, I don't know many Scorpio men or otherwise.

Also, I'm not even sure why I'm really mad, but maybe I'll hit up the Virgo board for some insite into that.

I understand that. I guess for me, maybe it's a Virgo thing or a girl thing, not sure, I do it all the way or not at all. I told him with the storm, tonight might not be a good night. If he was that tired, which I completely understand with his schedule, it would've been better for me if he'd just gone home, chilled there and got at me when he was 100% and could spend some time. Again, not sure if it's Virgo thing or female thing, but that's kinda how I feel. I have canceled engagements, dates, etc. if I wasn't feeling all the way right. To me, I need to be at 100% to do anything justice so I guess that is what I am used to. It is nice that tired as he was he still wanted to see me but the result was that we spent half hour together where he's just flipping through the TV and falling asleep because he is so tired. He should've just gone home, honestly.

Maybe I can suggest somehow that getting together on the weeknights won't work. Thing is, he hates a liar (me too) and I am usually free on tuesday and thursday nights. Maybe I should find something to do those days so I'm not lying when I say I am busy.

Leokitten, thank you for your response.

I'm confused.

Is what you are really saying is that he came over, had the big O and fell asleep before you got yours, then woke up, grabbed a bite to eat and left? Cause if that's what happened, then you need to speak up and grab him by the short hairs and scream "I don't think so!" Forget being seen as high maintenance. Who cares? Show him the door. No prize.

But if that ain't what really happened, then I'm wondering what the problem is cause I don't see one. The dude works 3 flippin jobs, still makes time to drop by and see you and brings dinner, but falls asleep?

Help me out here. I'm not getting it.

I really appreciate the advice, especially on stuff he and I can do together. I just want to ensure that he knows that this is a no-booty call zone. What he did borders on that (sex + sleep + little interaction, then leaving). And I learned the hard way that if you put up with something that doesn't make you happy, then if you complain about it later, you have no leg to stand on. I don't want half of him. He works very hard, which I understand and respect, and if he needs his rest, no problem. When anyone spends time with me, I expect that a) they want to and b) they have the time to give of themselves to me. I don't know how to have this conversation with him. Maybe I won't have to, instead if something similar happens just tell him to go home and get some sleep and get at me when he is rested.

Teresa, I understand. You want respect and attention. Perfectly reasonable! I would just caution you that the dude is working several jobs and probably strapped for time to just sleep, and he's a Scorpio, if you going to have the talk, he's gonna walk.

Don't want to be a booty call? I don't blame you there either. Still, don't use sex to get what you want. That will backfire and you won't like yourself for using it either.

I think it's pretty amazing that he found time to spend with you whilst he's working 3 jobs...I know you want more, but seriously, how much more can you ask for??

If I were you, i'd put myself in his shoes before saying anything. It may or may not change your perspective, but i've always found it very important to consider things from the other person's perspective before confronting an issue.

Good luck with it 🙂

he doesn't have time for a relationship but he's trying... you accept his job or you don't... no need frustrating yourselves going half measures to try at something so hard.
when does he plan to stop working so much? if it's a short-term thing, ok, if not then it's tough.

I'll seem high maintenance. But I'm Virgo and I can't not be me.
this is your excuse for....?

you have to face up to reality and I thought virgos were good at realism? the virgos i know are always working 😕

Sex is a way scorp shows his love.

Okay.... I get the part of sort of feeling like a booty call if a guy has sex with you and leave. I do. But, the two of you are in an exclusive relationship right? So, there is no booty call action if this is true. He bought dinner and spent some of his (sleeping or rest time) with you before he went to his other job. APPRECIATE IT.

If you were just a booty call he wouldn't have thought twice about coming over there and spending any of the time he could have been sleeping. What else did you expect to do in the 2 hours before he had to go to work? Scorps are serious about their jobs and ofcourse children. We are very responsible for ourselves and ours, so, there is really nothing to talk about.

You could tell him how you felt, but first let him know how much you appreciate him spending the time he did with you, then say something to the affect." I wished we could have spent more quality time together during the time you were here." then wink and smile. He will get it trust me and this way won't get defensive.

Tell me, do the two of you normally go out often? A lot of scorp men I know don't like hanging out a whole lot with their sig other they perfer intimate quiet alone time. I have had a problem with that a time or two, but I am thinking that is just their preference.

True enough scorp men will show love through sex and you will know the difference between it just being a booty call or love making.

Yeah, I don't see what there is to complain about. I think he was actually considerate. The scorp I started seeing works two jobs and has definitely made extra time in between and after (only getting a few hours of sleep) for me. I greatly appreciated them sometimes to go to dinner or a movie, sometime just to spend time.

However, every person is different and I do believe communication is key in a relationship. We also know how defensive we scorps can be when we don't feel we have done any harm, so express yourself if you still think it is necessary for discussion, just be contious of the way you do it.

TeresaT: I'm not real sure why it bothered me

I don't think you understand your Scorpio yet. They don't look at things the way we do, and they are very much "impulsive" compared to us Virgs. Yes, YOU would not drop by unless you had sufficient time & energy to give 100% for the duration. But I guarantee, your Scorp thinks HE was showing you how much he cares - braving the weather, and working 3 jobs, and still making sure he sees you even for a little while...

When I first started dating my ScorpWife, she was working full time, plus raising a teenage son, plus finishing her degree - and I sometimes thought I was imposing on her, but I had to have some of her precious time, too.

Use your Virgo skills at planning & organizing, and help your Scorp find other days & times y'all can be together that feel less like a Booty Call to you.

In my case, I would drop by Debra's right after work, and we'd take a 30-45 minute walk together around her neighborhood before she headed to night classes.

LT: Sex is a way scorp shows his love.

No doubt about that!

TT,

I suggest you re-read the second paragraph of your first post, where y'all are trying to work something out. Y'all seem to have very good communication - both verbal & physical - for so early in the relationship.

Take encouragement from that, and do what you can to make your schedules mesh better - you'll both be happier for it.

QS: express yourself if you still think it is necessary for discussion, just be contious of the way you do it.

Yes, TT, be careful!

Scorps don't take criticism any better than we do; and, like us, if they feel that you're ungrateful / unappreciative of their efforts, you're gonna wish you'd kept your trap shut!

Take it from me: I've been stung hundreds of times over the past 3 years, but they still hurt!

As a woman, we feel a bit used if a man approaches, conquers and then leaves... we are left putting our emotions back in all proper places in the puzzle. Scorpio men seem to always switch the pieces around because they have a different structure entirely.

he had "Home" with you. Consider that the compliment of a Lifetime.

"send him my way"

I hear you, Bella. If I were single, I'd say the same thing. There are plenty of women who are looking for and willing to love a good MAN like him.