Men & Attention

Sorry if this has already been asked, I looked & couldn't find anything related

So, I go on to a social networking site that both myself & my Scorp B/F belong to last night & I see that he's posted some new pics of him self.....The 1st 4 were fine BUT as I continued looking through them......he started shedding clothes! LOL The last pic was of him standing in his bathroom with Ummmm clearly no pants on! WTF!!!! You couldn't see his package but... you know those two lines that run down a guys pelvis that point to the prize? Yeah those were visible.

Personally I think it's kinda cheezy but I know he works his ass off to stay in shape & eats really well so I guess he wants to show himself off but seriously.....is attention that important? I give him lots of attention but it must not be enough if he feels the need to flaunt his naked self on the Internet.

So Scorp guys or ladies who've had the pleasure of dealing with them.....
How important is attention & is this something I should make a issue of? Is this appropriate behaviour? We all know how Scorps are & if I posted nude pics of myself well.......I think we know what the reaction would be 🙂

Thanks for your responses

If he is a really outgoing Scorpio then he is just a physical scorpio and just needs a lot of reasurrance and attention. Just start telling him how hot his body is and give him lots of sex and he won't stray. If he is the quiet type of Scorpio than watch out. He is up to something. My Scorpio used to be a professional bodybuilder. Talk about needing a ton of attention. Geesh!! I am constantly telling him how much better he looks now 15 years and 15 lbs. later. He loves the compliments.

yeah..it's easy..
Scorps and maybe all other men seek attention even if you give him that, he only need assurance from other girls just to check if he is desired by other girl and in other way to show you that he is chased by women 🙂
it's very normal and it doesn't mean ever that he doesn't love you, on the opposite it could be a sign he wants to impress you more.

"if I posted nude pics of myself well.......I think we know what the reaction would be"

Double standards exist, like it or not..actually it's very stupid to equal men and women esp in the sexual area..so i don't recommend driving him crazy this way 😉

Can Taur, He may even have done it to get your attention. Does he like it when you get jealous? If it bothers you I would bring it up. I would not however post a pic of yourself like that, but you might want to just ask him how he would like it if you did. Then he will understand why you don't like it.

"Now, where exactly can I find this man's pictures? Which website is it so I can judge for myself..."

haha..you naughty girl.

CanTaur: ...I know he works his ass off to stay in shape & eats really well so I guess he wants to show himself off but seriously...

He's advertising his vanity - and to a WIDE audience!

Lots of us guys work out, but few of us post nude self-portraits on the Internet...

You should be concerned.

"quit blaming Leos"

Leos are guilty always, this is the policy in Scorpio board and you should strict to it.

"but few of us post nude self-portraits on the Internet..."

oh comon, should i tell them about your facebook pics? 😛
You are busted.

You are busted.

You are joking. I've never had a Facebook account. Even if I did, I would never post nude pictures of myself - got a Scorp Wife...

Plus... Virgos don't do shit like that. Cappies will - if they can make money at it.

"got a Scorp Wife..."

I am so sorry to hear that.

Speaking of Cappies, i never ever ever saw a Cap man not working out..ever.
So this might be the reason? oh i should warn my sister from her Cap fiance then.

Thanks for all your responses

Elena this is his chart:
HIS 10/28/1976 5:25p.m.

Zodiac in degrees 0.00 Placidus Orb:0
Sun Scorpio 5.36 Ascendant Aries 9.33
Moon Capricorn 22.55 II Taurus 17.55
Mercury Libra 29.29 III Gemini 13.38
Venus Sagittarius 9.57 IV Cancer 5.08
Mars Scorpio 13.45 V Cancer 27.28
Jupiter Taurus 28.46 R VI Leo 26.08
Saturn Leo 16.03 VII Libra 9.33
Uranus Scorpio 7.22 VIII Scorpio 17.55
Neptune Sagittarius 12.21 IX Sagittarius 13.38
Pluto Libra 12.33 Midheaven Capricorn 5.08
Lilith Taurus 10.22 XI Capricorn 27.28
Asc node Scorpio 3.30 XII Aquarius 26.08

So we talked about it....... he's insecure, why I don't know he looks great to me but whatever. Just as I knew would happen, a bunch of chicks left him picture comments WHICH he has yet to approve so I can't see them! UGGHHH! I asked him when he planned on doing that & he said probably never...My response: FUCK THAT! reveal the comments! LOL

I wonder what went through his head when he decided to post those pics, KNOWING I wouldn't be thrilled & KNOWING he'd get reactions from other women. I'm thinking he did this to stir up some shit, create a little drama & excitement? I dunno but what I do know is, I'm not real happy about someone who supposedly "loves" me going out of his way to bring forth jealousy & insecurity so that he may have a ego boost.

I asked him how he'd feel if I did the same & he said he was just going to take his pics down, he didn't wanna play the who can out do who game..... A HA! What's good for the goose is good for the gander in my opinion! BUT I'm not going to do that cuz I think it's tacky 🙂

Thanks again everyone 🙂

What about us Venus in Leo types??

this is much more psychological than astrological...and unfortunately it's not about you. he said he is insecure...with insecurity (some times) there are bouts of extreme vanity and an almost illusion of grandeur. then there are periods of complete feelings of worthlessness and self-doubt. posting those pics appease both sides of the dichotomy; to prove himself to himself and to exploit the parts he think work best for him. scorpios usually know how they measure up and don't care what other people think, at least as far as appearances are concerned. but since scorps are heavy on the ego issues it's probably just a whirlwind of contradiction. does the attention really matter if it amounts to nothing tangible?

as far as the caps, we too care about our appearance but we're more on the ego side that is of the psychoanalytical variety. we care what other people think about us although we're not conformists. i like to keep in shape and i would work out everyday if i wasn't so busy working.

yeah, about $ 230/hr.

After Taxes, of course!

OMG, I would kill him. He was naked? I've seen guys in boxers or board shorts but not naked ever. He is trying to make you jealous. I say you should put a pic up of you in a hott bikini, just for a little while! Hehe!

Elena I did a little Venus in Sag research....I can see why you feel the way you do! I'm a bit disappointed to say the least LOL

War I understand what your saying BUT "unfortunately it's not about you." Though I'm sure his insecurities were with him loooong before me, they DO affect me. I'm not exactly thrilled to find my boyfriend posting semi-nude pics in a public arena. If his insecurities are so bad that he needs attention from other women at the risk of HURTING his SO then perhaps he shouldn't be in a relationship? Then he'd be free to search out alllll the attention his heart desires. There are boundaries in relationships that you shouldn't cross, I think this is one, for me anyway. "does the attention really matter if it amounts to nothing tangible?" YES it matters to me, this is a extreme way of gaining attention. Now I'm expected to sit back & read comments from horny women about what they'd like to do to my man? LOL who would be expected to put up with that bullshit? & that's what pisses me off, it's not so much the pictures, it's not so much the ego boost, it's the blatant disregard for my feelings & then shoving the shit in my face.

Arch Yeah he was naked but the you couldn't see the package, the pic got cut off just above the pubic bone. YAY what a wonderfull surprise to find!

It would be like me posing for playboy magazine & then sending him a copy.....SURPRISE HONEY! 🙂 or maybe operating a web cam site from my living room & sending him the link to watch... again....SURPRISE HONEY. Posting pics like he did should be something he should have discussed with me prior. Ummm ya know communicating about why he'd want to do something like that & the repercussions it "could" have on OUR relationship. That's the thing this is suppose to be OUR relationship, meaning we make decisions TOGETHER....NOT he makes the decisions & I deal with it, with my mouth shut like a good little woman LOL

Had he talked to me about his needs, maybe we could have worked something out, found a different website....something I dunno? but you see on this site, MY friends are also his friends meaning, my friends are viewing my naked man! LOL I can only laugh at the insanity of his man brain 🙂 I'm a Taurus & I'm trying really hard not to see red & look at this from his point of view & let me just say.....this isn't easy 😢

Well one good thing he's not hiding. I mean he knows you can see he posted pics so maybe its like others say just needed an ego boost. One friend had this guy she was seeing on myspace and he wouldn't add her, turns out he was putting up pics of him and other girls and she thought she was his gf!! So at least he's not hiding from you, so maybe it's not all bad. I still think you should put sexy pics up of you. Who knows, maybe it will lead to hot sex!!!

LOL we have more hott sex then I know what to do with Arch......that's not the problem & Noooo I won't be posting pics of myself nude because I think it's cheezy & tacky which was just one more off-putting thing about the pics to begin with. It made me look at him like Ewwwwwwww while all the other women are probably like Ahhhhhh LOL 🙂

Ok girl, you can post your pics here..just for prepairation.

LOL thanks Hypno 🙂 I'll keep that in mind. He posts one more pic & MY clothes are commin off!

Heeeeeeeey..viva las Tauruses.

maybe it is all about you then. sorry, my bad.

"You know CanTaur...it's a bull trait to see red in circumstances such as those"
Oh do I ever know Elena! As I get older I find myself trying to keep that side of myself more in check but I have my challenging moments 🙂

War.... It's not that I don't understand, I do, I have insecurities as well, I think most everyone does. My issue was that he didn't discuss with me his need for more attention, maybe I could have done more? maybe not? Either way, I sure would have listened, did my best to understand & find a solution. It's NOT all about me, just like its not ALL about him. This is a relationship/a partnership & what's one of the major rules......Respect & another....Honesty.... and how about one more.....communication? The fact is, I'm aware of the decisions I make & how they may affect him & our relationship so I show respect in regards to the decisions I make & I'd ask that he do the same.....is that too much to ask?

i agree...but mistakes happen before they're made.

Hmm, i admit we Scorpios are very jealous but not to that degree, we know that you girls can't reach those celebrietes and sport men ever..so nah, your theory is false.

How long have you been together? I think that wouldn't bother me too much in a very new relationship (well, new enough for the first fluch to have worn off) BUT if you two are supposedly really comitted to each other... it's a red flag in my book. Why? BECAUSE he knew you would see them. So that's designed to do what - turn you on? Hurt you? Pique youj?

All results he could achieve by talking. I think it sucks. Just my opinion, but I'm with Elena here (and probably on the Venus thing too!)

I'm glad at least to see your own healthy self esteem shining through here.

I took pics of myself at the beach yesterday in a bikini top WITH shirt over it. The shit hit the fan! I didn't post them on the computer, I showed only him.....Now I'm "trying to stir shit up" according to him, I'm trying to "pay him back" for the nude photos he posted LOL Whatever! I swear on all that is holy....I do NOTHING right in this guys eyes. Half the time I don't even realize I've done something "wrong" until he's giving the silent treatment or giving major attitude. Then I'm standing there looking dumb struck like WTF just happened?

I have never in all of my life met a guy who was so insecure. He posted the nude pics cuz he's insecure, according to him. I'm not giving him enough attention, he doesn't feel like I want him, need him etc. I don't know what more I can do for him! I don't know if he wants me to throw myself at his feet or constantly text & call him to tell him how much I love , need, want him.....To tell him how sexy, smart & great he is? Meanwhile.....I get nothing but complaints about all the shit I'm not doing. Well it's a two way street & there are plenty of things that he does that I don't like, God forbid I mention something, such as..."could you please try to listen to me before you get angry & try to understand my point of view?" Ohhhhhhh NO!!!! No No No I can't say anything like that because he's so insecure that he takes that to mean that I don't love him AT ALL & I'm putting him down! NO it's called communicating MY wants & needs because yes I happen to have those as well! UGGGHHHHH! Sorry just ranting & raving, I'm frustrated cuz I know we could get along great if not for this insecurity & it's so frustrating to try so hard to make something work & it never be enough! 😢

Elena....I pretty much tried to convey that to him nicely last night, I called him & said look, This isn't working for me, I can't take the constant judgements & walking on eggshells. You tell me what you need out of a relationship & I do my best to accommodate you YET it's still not enough. His response....." Well if I'm so miserable to live with, just leave me" immediately followed by....."Your mad at me now" in this little boy worried voice. BLAH....No it's not anger, it's hurt, it's rejection, it's sadness! I understand feeling insecure, I have my insecurities as well, I try not to let them get the best of me. I'm trying to be patient, I'm trying to be understanding, I'm trying to help him see how great he can be BUT I can't fix him, I know that. 😢 I don't want to end things but Damn he's making it really hard not to & I have the guilt because I know if I do end it, it's only gonna make his insecurities worse & i don't want to be responsible for that

Yeah but before that I'm gonna give a him a dose of reality & call him out on his shit. He HAS to know what he's doing is fucked up & my feeling is this.....If he feels for me the way he says he does....He'd recognize what he already knows, that for the most part it's him & his insecurities & he'd cut the shit out. If not he's going to loose the relationship. Period & point blank. I have to tell myself I've done what I could to make it work but I can only do so much. Oh yeah & he just sent me a text saying.... "Find something else to do tonight" so I reply...." Fine, I expected that response anyway" Oh man, did that set him off.....now he says, I don't care cuz I didn't give a reaction, I must have other plans with some mystery man I supposedly met at the beach yesterday either that or I'm going to the bar tonight & I'll meet a man & take him home & fuck his brains out........WOW! what a imagination, especially considering, I didn't break plans....he did!

Does the insecurity ever go away——

Branh.... I'm not without my flaws, I've stated in another post that I'm insecure too, I don't pretend for a minute that my insecurities don't contribute but I do handle mine in a different way...I don't react to mine openly, instead I choose to talk myself out of my worries & doubts.....most times, sometimes it's not that easy.

Why don't I just leave? Well do you know anything about Taurus people? LOL Once I've invested myself in something or someone I find it nearly impossible to just get up & walk away at the 1st sight of a problem. I'm stubborn & I'll stay & fight if I think it's worth it.....for awhile anyway. I don't just give my heart away freely so when i do it's not exactly easy to just snatch it back, I go back & forth, many times for too long on if I should pull myself away from where I've grown comfortable.

I hate more then anything to give up on people, especially when I see something so great in them. Of course he's not bad all the time & it's the good times & the good parts of him that make me want to stay. I know that it's wrong but I keep finding myself saying...I know that he's insecure so if I could just show him that he could trust me, if I could just make him see how much he means to me, if I could just make him see how great he is.....things could be different. Like I said I know that's wrong, I know that I can't change anyone but it's really easy to get stuck on the if onlys....I'm human, I have feelings & unfortunately I can't flip them off like a light switch 😢

Cantaur


"Oh yeah & he just sent me a text saying.... "Find something else to do tonight" so I reply...." Fine, I expected that response anyway" Oh man, did that set him off.....now he says, I don't care cuz I didn't give a reaction, I must have other plans with some mystery man I supposedly met at the beach yesterday either that or I'm going to the bar tonight & I'll meet a man & take him home & treetrunk his brains out........WOW! what a imagination, especially considering, I didn't break plans....he did!"

This is just a BLUFF.

Thanks ScorpLady.... well I figured it was until I got a text saying....."CanTaur, I want NOTHING more to do with you, you purposely did something to get a reaction out of me, a reaction that you KNEW wouldn't be good." So.... I guess I just got dumped through text, how lovely! But then about 2 hours later he texts me again & says "I don't know what to do, I'm not happy & you don't seem to be very happy either" To which I reply, I'm sorry I don't make you happy I've certainly try ed, & I thought I was doing OK most of the time, as for me I'm mostly happy but the idea of never speaking to you again DOESN'T make me happy at all 😢 Now he's going to the river to think AND to torture me for awhile longer I suspect. I dunno maybe it's for the best if we call it quits. I don't want to keep someone around if I can't make them happy 😢 That's not love at all.

Thanks Elena, glad to see it's not just specific to me 🙂 So we're back on. He called me & asked me to come over & talk last night. I did most of the talking, he mumbled every now & then. I brought up how we really needed to find a way to get over this insecurity with each other, he says that's' not easy & I know it's not but I know that he doesn't trust me & that makes things really hard. We'll see what happens.

So his concern is that we argue, he says too much considering this is new. My feeling is & maybe I'm totally wrong but at the beginning of a relationship, when your learning each other, aren't you going to do things/mess up with each other more because you don't know what makes the other person tick yet? I think at the beginning often times, people are really happy & everything wonderfull ONLY because they aren't really being who they are but instead putting their best foot forward. After a few months you drop the act & that's when the real person comes out....thus the arguing ensues & the "honeymoon" is over.

So is it better to be real from the beginning, go through the "learning you" process with the miscommunication & disagreements from the very beginning? Or does arguing early on in the relationship indicate that we aren't compatible & things won't work out in the long run? Is there even a way to tell? I dunno personally I'd rather be real from the beginning & get the learning process over quickly so that there'll be less to argue about in the future & if we can withstand the problems in the beginning & fight through them, not give up, isn't that a good sign? I don't know maybe my thought process is completely warped LOL 🙂 anyone have any thoughts on this?

FA
I totally understand what you are trying to get these young women to understand, I think women need to understand that maturity, confidence, security etc., within onesself also plays a part. I believe that most young women want a man and feel they need a man in their life, because it's the thing to do, or having a man makes them feel whole, and happy, not to mention hormones raging mad, they try their hardest to please a man knowing that everything they try to do is futile.

I don't think no women should ever try and change a man, men don't like that and they will leave you because of it. And women need to remember that we mature way faster than men. Women need to except men for who/what they are because they are men and if you can't handle the man or it becomes stressful then you should leave. All men have flaws and fuck up just as much as women. Wa all do shit that don't make any sense sometimes. It's all about how you deal with it that counts.

Personally I don't have time for games anymore I would rather build a friendship first than try and rush into a relationship. Since dating my Gem,let me say the last 9 months some of it has not been easy but he won't let me go and the many times I told him I want some space it just goes from one ear to the next as if I never said anything. So I make him suffer a little bit, I won't take his calls and when I do I don't say much and he huff and puffs on the phone and get so frustrated and I do it for 2-3 days and doing that has actually paid off. because he does not get me upset and when he knows he had done something that I might get upset about he catches himself. He can't stand it when I give him silent treatment.