Best way to give ultimatum to Scorpio?

I have a Libra moon, but my Sun, Venus and Mars are all in Capricorn. Been seeing a Scorpio 6 months. He said he is not sure about a relationship and needed space. I gave him space after he kept rebuffing me. Then he came back briefly, all was bliss and he's moving back again. I'm tired of the nonsense. What is the best way to deliver a put up or shut up to Scorpio? We Caps are very efficient, but I have tried the direct approach and gotten ignored. I have been considering sending him a letter by registered mail so I know at least he has received it and seen it since he will not respond to my calls, emails or text messages. Thanks for any advice.

Because we are technically still in a relationship in my mind. There has been no breakup talk, no closure. As long as there is not that, the relationship exists, to me. I am trying to clarify what we are doing. If he is not under the impression we are in a relationship, it ceases to exist to me at that point. But as long as I don't know, then I don't know. It's a Cap thing.

Elena, please explain. Is it very typical of a Scorpio to ignore attempts at communication from their supposed girlfriend? This makes very little sense to me.

Starfish, I have laid all this out for him. I did not have sex with him when he came back for weeks because I wanted to make it clear that we were moving forward with a R-E-L-A-T-I-O-N-S-H-I-P not F-W-B. He was a gentleman. But now he's pulling the same crap as when he first needed "space." Again, if it was a fling, it's different, but we call each other bf/gf, and have been introduced to family and friends as such, so I can't just walk away, it is not in my nature.

Branh, each person has their own way of doing that. Are you a Scorpio? That is not my way. Of course, if I never hear from him again, that speaks for itself, but it has been three days since I've been trying to contact him so I need to give it a few more attempts before whatever it is in MY brain that clicks and says it's over. Again, it is Cap thing, or maybe it's just a thing for myself, who happens to be Capricorn.

Elena yes, I do care for him. But I don't like my attempts at communication being ignored. It's rude.

Branh, off base about sex. When we first met, we waited nearly three months for it. He's not a dog last I checked, he can get sex if that is what he wants. I have had one or two inadvertant FWB situations, this isn't one.

Elena, I am a Capricorn. push-pull for us is foreign, at least for females. It's in or out. You're in or you're just not into us. I used to believe that was the case regardless of sign. I know it's not a fling. I know he's not using me just for sex. But the mystery and his refusal to clarify our current status baffles me. When he came back, I expressed the need to talk about our status. His response was I told you that I needed space. I'm here now. What is there to clarify? That response made no sense to me, which is why I had him wait weeks to date and court me before we got into bed. He continued the dating and courting after that and now I've not heard from him in days. It smacks of game playing to me is what I am saying.

@cappysweetie

Elena, I am a Capricorn. push-pull for us is foreign, at least for females. It's in or out. You're in or you're just not into us.

This is very true. There's no gray area when it comes to matters of the heart -- any gray area would be a contradiction.

@Yum

18 Years1,000+ Posts

Maybe he was kidnapped? Was he involved with organized crime, to your knowledge?

Yes, exactly cappysweetie, there's no in between in love with Caps. I have seen this Capricorn board about disappearing Caps and when a Cap is in love, he does not just vanish.

Starfish, that's all I want, is a conversation. What you and Elena are saying is that I must wait for him to seek me out first?

9/13.

Brahn is a Libra. Ok. Time to ignore. Can't stand Libra men. I really even hate my moon is in Libra.

Brahn, if you don't like the topic, bring your shining light to another one.

Starfish, I'm sorry that my topic is spinning you around. I appreciate your advice, but I really never understand why people feel the need to comment on how stupid, shitty or whatever a topic is that they are voluntarily posting on.

Elena, when does patience morph in doormat-ness? Patience, I have. But I don't want to be a revolving door for him or someone he sees as a sure thing for sex.

Am2, well, if I don't hear from him in a reasonable time, it's over. At that point I will simply not respond if he chooses to contact me, so at that point I will have broken off things completely with him.

@Yum

18 Years1,000+ Posts

I don't really do relationship threads, but what's with the people telling her to be a doormat?

Really, Lapsed, are you physically incapable of dumping a dude?

FuckinA, I see your point.

The problem with me personally is that if I walk away, I am done. As cappysweetie has pointed out, Caps don't do shades of gray in relationships. So if I make the decision to walk away from him, the door is closed. I have expressed that to him. If he comes on bended knee the next day, it's done. We are a cautious sign - we do like effieciency, but we also are pretty hard and fast in sticking by our decision. We aren't revolving doors. My heart will not detach from this situation because it does not have that feeling of "doneness" yet. I am sorry if this dismays people, but everyone is different. Everyone has a different timetable. Yum, I can and have dumped men when my heart was "done" without any issues or remorse. My heart's not there yet for whatever reason. It happens.

@wheelhomies

"What is the best way to deliver a put up or shut up to Scorpio?"

you can't, because you can't make him do anything. give him his space and keep yourself busy.

FuckinA, I think many caps have a default time for bullshit. I personally, no matter how much I like someone or feel a certain way have a limit as to what I will and won't take. If he passes that, it's done, no conversation needed. So I'm not going to hang on like a limpet indefinitely. At this point and time I have not reached that saturation point but if things continue in this vein, it will be reached.

Elena, one thing I cannot understand is how he can meet my demands and then just disappear. When he returned I said, look, I need this sort of thing, this level of communication, these sort of dates, want to meet your friends (the family thing was his idea), or it's not going anywhere. He did these things and now it's like I'm a tissue he used that he is discarding. If he was the least bit flaky in his return, I would have bounced him on his ass. If he returned and wanted sex right away, I would have bounced him on his ass. But he took the time to listen to my concerns, meet them, continue meeting them after we resumed sex, continue treating me nicely, and now nothing and I'm getting ignored.

It's the incongruity of his actions that bother me. It seems like an exhausting game to be playing just for a day or two of (admittedly mindblowing) sex.

FuckinA, I had to end things with a very nice man last year because "it" wasn't there. It really wasn't him and it really was me, so the idea of this man not being into me is an ego blow but it is one I could readily accept and understand. Perhaps the Scorpio male way of showing this is different from pretty much every other male's way? Or maybe not. I admit I do not see this with clear eyes as I have feelings for him. I do appreciate your response and your take is just as valid as anyone else's.

@cappysweetie

So if I make the decision to walk away from him, the door is closed. I have expressed that to him.

It hard to walk away from someone that you believe has so much freaking potential lol!!! It's like gee weezzz, if only this man would act right, things would be beautiful.

I know the feeling 🙂

Cappysweetie, exactly! And when he acts right, he is splendid.

@Yum

18 Years1,000+ Posts

Four.

@cappysweetie

Cappysweetie, exactly! And when he acts right, he is splendid.

But he can't act right when he feels like it, he has to act right because its just who he is. In the past, I had a difficult time understanding this. People have their bad days, but when they continue ummmm ....