Possessiveness with Scorpio

Scorps I needed to come straight to the source for a little help. I have been in a relationship with a Scorpio for 5 years. An incredibly intense bond with loads of chemistry. It has been one hell of ride. They have been totally honest in that they wanted freedom within the relationship to see other people. I agreed to it and it worked out fine until one night I got insecure when they were describing another relationship when we were out together.They read this as possessiveness and our intimacy was cut off for months. As a Taurus this has been something I have had to work extremely hard on. I think I am 100% better because of my natural determination. The intimacy is heating up again but they are holding back because they think I am going to "get possessive" again. What can I can do to change the opinion of this Scorpio? We are missing out on way too much because of this.

"The intimacy is heating up again but they are holding back because they think I am going to "get possessive" again."

You ARE going to get possesive again because you don't really want an open relationship. Stand up for what you want and be ready to leave if you don't get it. Somebody else will give you what you want and respect a monogamous relationship.

you've been with him for 5 years of your life and still wondering? i understand 5 months a year or so but 5? do you want an open relationship?

WOW as a fellow female Taurus, I have to ask....How did you ever agree to a open relationship? That is one thing I know for certain I could Never agree to, Why? because I'm wayyyy to possessive, I never would have made it 5 years without that showing so kudos to you for that! There are 2 things I don't share, my food & my man. As a Taurus you may have natural determination but you may be trying to smother another part of yourself......natural possessiveness. If your naturally possessive, then you just are & there's nothing you can really do about that. You could try to smother it again but it will come back. Like GS said, if this arrangement isn't something your really comfortable with deep down then I'd let the Scorp know this arrangement isn't working out for you any longer 🙂

You won't change his opinion, period. Why would you want to be with someone that you feel the need to change in any way? I could be reading this incorrectly but it sounds like you agreed to the open relationship because it's what he wants and not necessarily what you you want. If that's the case you're just fooling yourself.

Tauras lady here too , no way we any Tauras women agree to that! you will get hurt!

We like attention, passion but no way would I share my guy with other women

Tauras have big hearts , this will do you in

My opinon off course TAKE CARE Scorpios are lovely and you feel attracted to them and the sex is great , but jealousy is a weakness we have unless you can control it.

that is absolutely ridiculous! i don't think there is a person alive who can be intimate with someone who describes other relationships whilst out on a date! i'm a scorpio and so obviously i would raise merry hell if that happened to me but i certainly wouldn't DREAM of putting some guy in that position. having said that, i would never in a million years agree to an 'open' relationship either.

he doesn't want you being possessive? in fact, what he means by this is that he doesn't want you to have expectations which is another way of saying that he doesn't want a relationship with you at all.

tell him to go fuck himself and all his other women and perhaps he will obligingly get syphillis and die.

"he doesn't want you being possessive? in fact, what he means by this is that he doesn't want you to have expectations which is another way of saying that he doesn't want a relationship with you at all." I agree Roxanne

warmtaurus, you said..."THEY wanted freedom within the relationship to see other people."
Do YOU want to see the other people? How would he feel about it if you did? I think Scorps can be on the possessive side as well, atleast my SO is, So why don't you take full advantage of YOUR open relationship & start seeing other men & the next time your out on a date with Mr Scorp.......give a play by play of how things went on your date the other night, See how is ass likes what a REAL open relationship entails.

"EXACTLY! This Scorpio is trying to make you feel bad for feeling the way you feel, which is totally normal and natural. And he's disrespecting you by talking to you about another female while you two are spending time together, and that's totally wrong."

The really sick part of this is that this person is trying to make you think that there is something wrong with YOU for having these feelings. You are not possesive. If you have put up with this crap for 5 years than you are the least posessive person I have ever heard of. He is completely selfish and disrespectful of you to turn this all around and blame you and punish you by taking away his affections for months. What a controlling asshole. But, you can't really blame him. He told you exactly what he was from the very beginning and you still chose to be with him. People only treat you the way you allow yourself to be treated and it is probably too late for you to stand up for yourself now. He will never take you seriously at this point. Get a new boyfriend and demand to be treated right the next time. You are not really in love with this person. You just think you are because you FEEL so much emotion from the relationship and even though it's negative emotions, you are mistaking these intense emotions for love. This is not real love and you will realize this once you get yourself someone who respects you. Only then will you know what real love is.

Unless you've been in an open relationship how in the hell can you (generic you) comment on it? In doing so you are being narrow-minded, to say that nobody can listen to a partner describe a relationship with someone else...pure bullshyte. Not everyone thinks the way you or your peers do. Nothing wrong with monogamy or polyamory as long as all parties are happy with the arrangement.

"Nothing wrong with monogamy or polyamory as long as all parties are happy with the arrangement."

Yes, You are right but obviously their is not a happy arrangement in this scenario or their would be no need for the post. Even if you are going to have a mutual open relationship that both parties want there needs to be some respect and some rules about it. He should have respected her feelings and apologised for his insensitivity of talking about another relationship in front of her if that bothers her not punish her. She is already being very accomodating by letting him have this open relationship in the first place. She should be allowed to set some rules here. He has got a rare person that will let a guy have an open relationship and he should be worshiping the ground she walks on for allowing him this freedom. Where is the respect—

"you are being narrow-minded, to say that nobody can listen to a partner describe a relationship with someone else...pure bullshyte."

Rather or not the OP could or could not handle listening to her partner talk about another relationship was NEVER up for debate, as she clearly stated that she became bothered by it & her scorp took this to be possessive behaviour! DUH! Sure there are some people who I'm sure would be fine with a open relationship....obviously her Scorp B/F is one, BUT the OP is not because of the reaction she's had.

"Nothing wrong with monogamy or polyamory as long as all parties are happy with the arrangement."
My rule of thumb is....."whatever floats your boat" I'm not passing judgement on ones life style /relationship choice, but clearly the OP is not happy due to her reaction & the fact that she's sharing her concerns & asking for advice here. Obviously her boat isn't staying afloat.

^^^^^^ It really was 🙂

What happened to the OP?? We are all talking about her shit and she is not even here. LOL!!

maybe she's lurking 🙂

Now if Elenas still around......Here's my chart from this morning when we were talking on the "freeze out" post LOL

Zodiac in degrees 0.00 Placidus Orb:0
Sun Taurus 19.08 Ascendant Sagittarius 26.54
Moon Gemini 22.19 II Aquarius 2.04
Mercury Aries 22.55 III Pisces 10.12
Venus Gemini 15.35 IV Aries 14.36
Mars Leo 12.07 V Taurus 12.21
Jupiter Cancer 4.44 VI Gemini 5.27
Saturn Leo 23.50 VII Gemini 26.54
Uranus Scorpio 14.10 R VIII Leo 2.04
Neptune Sagittarius 17.42 R IX Virgo 10.12
Pluto Libra 14.27 R Midheaven Libra 14.36
Lilith Cancer 12.33 XI Scorpio 12.21
Asc node Libra 5.14 XII Sagittarius 5.27






Aspects
The following table shows the planetary aspects in your natal chart. Short interpretations are found below.



Planet Aspect Planet Orb/Value
Sun Square Saturn 4.43 -21
Sun Opposition Uranus 4.57 -117
Moon Sextile Mercury 0.36 289
Moon Conjunction Venus 6.44 210
Moon Sextile Saturn 1.32 112
Moon Opposition Neptune 4.37 -107
Moon Trine Pluto 7.52 2
Moon Opposition Ascendant 4.35 -88
Moon Trine Midheaven 7.43 3
Mercury Trine Saturn 0.56 74
Mercury Trine Neptune 5.13 35
Mercury Opposition Pluto 8.28 -11
Mercury Trine Ascendant 3.59 40
Mercury Opposition Midheaven 8.19 -12
Venus Sextile Mars 3.28 35
Venus Opposition Neptune 2.06 -138
Venus Trine Pluto 1.08 69
Venus Trine Midheaven 0.59 61
Mars Square Uranus 2.03 -59
Mars Trine Neptune 5.34 24
Mars Sextile Pluto 2.20 59
Mars Sextile Midheaven 2.29 46
Jupiter Opposition Ascendant 7.49 -17
Saturn Trine Neptune 6.09 10
Saturn Trine Ascendant 3.04 17
Neptune Sextile Pluto 3.14 11
Neptune Conjunction Ascendant 9.13 6
Neptune Sextile Midheaven 3.05 9
Pluto Conjunction Midheaven 0.09 39
1151 -570 581

Tell me we're a match made in heaven! LOL or better yet...the truth will do just fine 🙂

"Yes, You are right but obviously their is not a happy arrangement in this scenario or their would be no need for the post. Even if you are going to have a mutual open relationship that both parties want there needs to be some respect and some rules about it. He should have respected her feelings and apologised for his insensitivity of talking about another relationship in front of her if that bothers her not punish her. She is already being very accomodating by letting him have this open relationship in the first place. She should be allowed to set some rules here. He has got a rare person that will let a guy have an open relationship and he should be worshiping the ground she walks on for allowing him this freedom. Where is the respect—"

Typical myopic thinking. She is being accommodating? Pfft, completely the wrong way to look at this, either they both enjoy it or one of them is lying about their true feelings. Why should he worship the ground she walks on? Here's a newsflash for ya; there are hundreds of thousands of men and women who equally enjoy an open relationship and yes...enjoy discussing their exploits with each other, hard swaps, soft swaps, the list of sexual preferences is almost limitless. So why should he not feel the way he does? She said she agreed to the open relationship, now he feels betrayed. Did they discuss any rules of talking about what they do and with whom? We don't know, but the point I was making is that some respondents here are saying that NOBODY can be expected to endure that conversation and I say that is bullshyte.

"Well Mr scorp seeking fish...clearly all parties are not happy with this arrangement or the bull would not be getting all possessive and stuff...and pretty much voicing her grievances here."

Look at the OPs closing statement, she want's to know how to change the Scorps' mind about her possessiveness, which would indicate that she is claiming not to be, or she is lying to herself and willing to lie to him.

She is saying that she's not happy to be missing out on the great times they could be having. Whether she is being truthful to herself we don't know, but if you read her entire post it clearly does not state that she is still possessive.

Sigh, does anyone comprehend what they read anymore? What many of you are doing is putting yourselves in her place and responding as though it were happening to you.

The question she asked was in how to change his mind...about thinking she is possessive.

Again, I ask where is the respect??

An open relationship does not give someone free reign to trample all over someone's feelings. Agreeing with the arrangement and then to be expected to have a heart of stone and not ever get hurt feelings is two different things. I don't care what you say. Having an open relationship opens you up to hurt feelings just like any other kind of relationship and if you do or say something that hurts someones feelings or you step over the bounderies you should apologize not punish and control someone. I don't buy that he is feeling betrayed.

Again, I ask where is the respect??

An open relationship does not give someone free reign to trample all over someone's feelings. Agreeing with the arrangement and then to be expected to have a heart of stone and not ever get hurt feelings is two different things. I don't care what you say. Having an open relationship opens you up to hurt feelings just like any other kind of relationship and if you do or say something that hurts someones feelings or you step over the bounderies you should apologize not punish and control someone. I don't buy that he is feeling betrayed.

Because that is the way that you feel? So everyone in that situation must feel the same way? You have not information enough to make that statement about them. But in either case, she is allowed to voice her objections, but he is not allowed to voice his? Bullshyte. Respect? Again you girls seem to think that the guy should be oh so appreciative to find a girl that will allow him to phuk other girls. Get real, they're all over the place.

It's about sex pure and simple. Some people like to get pissed on, is that disrespectful? Not to those involved, maybe to you, but not to them. Now if someone allows themselves to be pissed on just because their partner enjoys it...tough shyte on them for not standing up and saying "no, I don't like it"

"They have been totally honest in that they wanted freedom within the relationship to see other people."

Where in this statement do you see that this is a mutual open relationship agreement? She did not say that they both wanted to have freedom to see other people. Of course it's working for him. He is having his cake and eating it too. It doesn't look like the OP is seeing other people or having this open relationship. She is just putting up with it in order to keep the relationship. Like another poster said. How would he like it? I bet not much or he would be in an actual real open relationship with someone who doesn't have any possesivness issues. I'm sure he loves the fact that he is the only one having the open relationship. It's easy for him to be secure.

"And the answer to that Mr Scorp seeking fish (Ha! can I call you that?) is that she's kidding herself. What she wants to do is lie to him that she's not possessive...when in actual fact, she is.

She's just wasting her friggin time."

I tend to agree with you, but we can only go by what she actually said and ask her if that is true.

You can call me whatever you like, I won't cry 😉

"They have been totally honest in that they wanted freedom within the relationship to see other people."

"Where in this statement do you see that this is a mutual open relationship agreement? She did not say that they both wanted to have freedom to see other people. Of course it's working for him. He is having his cake and eating it too. It doesn't look like the OP is seeing other people or having this open relationship. She is just putting up with it in order to keep the relationship. Like another poster said. How would he like it? I bet not much or he would be in an actual real open relationship with someone who doesn't have any possesivness issues. I'm sure he loves the fact that he is the only one having the open relationship. It's easy for him to be secure."

That's whatcha call irony; you point out an inference and follow it up with your own baseless conjecture.

you must really love him

i would only put up with that if i truly, truly, truly, truly loved someone. i would put up with anything i suppose if that were so.

you are so devoted to this person. you're on here asking how you can let him know that you are not possessive? that makes me want to cry. that's all you can think about? how to show him that you're not possessive? after 5 years of putting up with what he wants, you're still working on aspects of yourself to make sure that you don't lose him? and he sits and talks about other women to you? how can you handle that?
god you are amazing.
you are probably too good for him.
don't let him take advantage of you. we scorps know what we're doing, we know when we have power and control. don't let him take advantage of how you feel about him.

oh, sorry i just realized you didn't make any gender specifications and i made assumptions. (apologies if they were wrong).

:-) You always know you are winning the argument when the personal attacks start.

"oh, sorry i just realized you didn't make any gender specifications and i made assumptions. (apologies if they were wrong)."

I was thinking the same thing. For all we know this could be two men or two women, but it doesn't matter. The advice would all still be the same.

right. correct gslove but i wanted to correct that anyway, just out of, respect i guess. the advice that has been given still holds, except anywhere that generalizations about male and female behavior have been made.

you know, i basically did something like this to a man. i didn't want commitments. he put up with everything i did. he really loved me. i should never have let him go through all of that. i excused it because i was honest about it all and told him right from the start, but that doesn't make up for it. he went through a lot because of me. i hate what i allowed.

"i wanted to correct that anyway, just out of, respect i guess."

I think you are awesome for bringing it up.

I have a feeling that even though you did this to someone and they allowed it that when he got hurt feelings over something you said or did that you apologised about it and understood his emotions and didn't punish the person for having feelings. Am I right?

":-) You always know you are winning the argument when the personal attacks start."

I missed the personal attack, would you point it out?

"Yes I remember...you're totally bad-ass with that cap moon"

Heckuva memory you have there. Given what I've read about that placement, facetiousness comes to mind 🙂

you are very right gslove.

I am back.I am feeling the heat from the responses and I must admit that perhaps I wasn't ready for the "open" part. They have had a couple of really bad relationships and just cannot commit their heart. They show me they love me in a lot of incredible ways. I spend time with their entire family and we all travel together. They were "honest" that I cannot be the "one". I guess I have foolishly believed if I just perservered that this "free-spirit" would give way to all I have to offer. But you cannot change people and even though I am as stubborn as they come I may have to finally admit that I need more and call it a day. What a waste though. They have everything I was looking for.

No one is fighting here FA. Just a healthy debate where everyone's opinions are being challenged, but respected is the way I see it. If nothing was ever debated nothing in the world would ever be changed. If everyone thought exactly the same where would our world be? Still in the dark ages I would guess.

"They have everything I was looking for."

Except for that one thing you wanted most. I think we have all been there!
You WILL find all of those good qualities and everything else you want!! You just need to see your worth and allow it to come to you.

i'm sorry warmtaurus, i have felt the same before for someone. the "free-spirit" and thinking i could perservere..."They have everything I was looking for." it's hard to give up someone like that.

"They have had a couple of really bad relationships and just cannot commit their heart."
very true, especially with us scorps.

"How can I forget? I was on the fish board trying to read your chart (when you first posted your grievances over your fish not trusting you etc etc) when that other whacko fish decided to attack me with her whining.

So how's your fish doing?"

Lol, I forgot about that bit of cat fighting...never did get any mud wrestling action out of that.

Well, little Ms. Fish and I had an incredible time for awhile, but personal circumstances and the long geographical distance between us has cooled things off. Might heat back up later on, remains to be seen.

((((WarmTaurus)))) Hugs for you 😢 I think many of us have been there, when we meet someone who has so many good qualities we're looking for & we choose to overlook the ones we don't find so appealing or often times, hope that if we just give them enough of something that we'll "change" their minds. That trap is so easy to fall into.

"They have had a couple of really bad relationships and just cannot commit their heart."
This excuse though.......I hate it! LOL Who hasn't had a couple of bad relationships? I've known people in their early 20's who could say they've had a couple of bad relationships! Are we to use that as a excuse for the rests of our lives though? That's life....you take a chance, if you get hurt, you grieve, pick yourself back up & move along.

In the guys defense though, he was honest that he wanted a open relationship so that is exactly what you have here. Like I said before, if that's what he wants that's what I'd give him. I'd stop worrying about how to prove to him your not something that you clearly are, instead, go on some dates yourself & be a active participant in the open relationship he asked for. Maybe after he sees you dating he'll be miraculously healed from his previous relationship wounds & will decide that a open relationship isn't what he wants after all 🙂

"Nah...forget about those fish. I dont remember the rest of your chart, but just going by your cap moon you're better off with a cap or a cancer"

Lol, well I was married to a Cancer...way too emotional and clingy for me. Never had a Cap relationship, though I've read it's supposed to be a good match. But those fishies...mmmm, can't imagine a better connection, Venus in Scorpio, eh 😉

Well if I don't post it up I'll risk being accused of being a typical secretive Scorp, lol. Although it's in that original thread and one of the nice fish on here has helped me with it, but I don't mind more input:


Planetary positionsplanet sign degree motion
Sun Scorpio 23?49'45 in house 7 direct
Moon Capricorn 15?20'32 in house 10 direct
Mercury Scorpio 25?44'33 in house 7 retrograde
Venus Scorpio 25?43'43 in house 7 direct
Mars Virgo 20?25'04 in house 6 direct
Jupiter Leo 4?26'40 in house 5 stationary (R)
Saturn Pisces 23?00'09 in house 12 retrograde
Uranus Virgo 23?33'08 in house 6 direct
Neptune Scorpio 21?58'42 in house 7 direct
Pluto Virgo 20?16'27 in house 6 direct
True Node Taurus 16?09'12 in house 1 retrograde

House positions (Placidus)Ascendant Taurus 9?10'03
2nd House Gemini 9?54'37
3rd House Gemini 28?14'59
Imum Coeli Cancer 14?42'41
5th House Leo 4?08'39
6th House Virgo 5?13'47
Descendant Scorpio 9?10'03
8th House Sagittarius 9?54'37
9th House Sagittarius 28?14'59
Medium Coeli Capricorn 14?42'41
11th House Aquarius 4?08'39
12th House Pisces 5?13'47

Umm, yeah...did I mention first wife was a Taurus? Talk about jealous...holy shyte she was a green eyed monster, and a temper to match mine. Sex was great though, so was the Cancer and the Pisces, and...well anyway, I'll see what you can derive from my placements.

Lol, well, she'll have her hands full convincing me that Pisceans are bad for me. Only ever been intimate with one, but known a few in a flirty way and it's always an intense attraction. The whole Capricorn thing admittedly has me intrigued though.

"Elena is on a mission to make sure all Scorpio men stay away from Pisces women, and stick with Taurus women."

LOL It's kind of cute she thinks her crack brand of astrology can refute hundreds of books and thousands of websites on the subject. As well as the pile of confused Taurus women on this board. Was that five or six threads in one week?

Just continue ignoring him and don't communicate, ladies! That's how you will win his trust and build a wonderful future together. 😉

"Oh God, now you sound like Dyar with his hundreds of book and thousands of astrologers nonsense."

LOL Um...*whisper* this is an astrology forum whether or not people use it for that. But, okay...if I can just make up my own brand and discount the popular opinion...I'll get started on that.

I'm starting a new religion! 🙂

LOL @ Sea Siren

i love you

"LOL SS! I have to laugh. I know I've had it with one particular Scorp. I'm running out of signs to play with"

Okay..Ferdy...I'm sticking with "real" astrology here. Have you ever dated a Cancer? For real! Go ask the Cancer's how they feel about Taurus people. My Taurus friend I went to high school loves hers. 😉

"If this board were left up to Dyar, we'd all have cut and paste conversations b/c everything has to be cleared with astrologers first"

LOL! Well, that is how you're supposed to have an intellectual debate, FA. I just did one tonight in class on free speech, and I had like 15 different sources. I'm sure with his 97 master's degrees, that's what Dyar was attempting to do.

"I got tired of bending over, so I fell asleep on the couch."

HAHA! Yeah, you're gonna get a GOOD spanking tonight for telling me I'm not allowed to complain on DXP...The complaint capital of the Internet. Where did I put those notes on free speech.....Damnit...oh yeah...SWAT! 🙂

You guys are hilarious, I don't see astrology as being the definitive guide to anything, it is however entertaining and for some the accepted placement descriptions fit well. Not so much for others, my brother is Virgo and he is not even close to being organized, ordered and all of the other common attributes he supposedly should have.

I don't understand why it's so difficult to just disagree with someone here without resorting to personal attacks, but hey, it's the internet what else would I expect?

"LOL @ Sea Siren. i love you"

Well, I hope so, because I left you something in my DXP will. MsP I left something for you, too? Did you guys even see it? 😢

"FINALLY!!! I see I have to be mean and pick at you to get the responses I want ~thinks of some other devious ways to get her to punish her~"

Are you wearing that Debbie Harry outfit, while doing these devious things?

"I don't understand why it's so difficult to just disagree with someone here without resorting to personal attacks, but hey, it's the internet what else would I expect?"

Oh my, well this place is a cakewalk compared to other places I've frequented on the net. There, there, SSP, it will all be alright. Shall I sing something for you?

The sun will come out toooomooorrrrooooowwww...

"Oh my, well this place is a cakewalk compared to other places I've frequented on the net. There, there, SSP, it will all be alright. Shall I sing something for you?

The sun will come out toooomooorrrrooooowwww..."

Yes, very tame compared to some places I frequent from time to time, I could have a field day in here with all of the sensitive posters around here. You don't seriously think I'm offended by any of this do you? I just get tired of it after a while, probably because I've been involved in my fair share of e-thuggery over the years, but if you must sing to me try "So Hott" by Kid Rock, that might soothe me.