Scorpio Man/Taurus Lady...Long Distance...

Tons of Chemistry...no words...just...absolutely the most intense amazing thing I have ever experianced. He travels for work year round. Any time we see each other is by his initiating it and he comes to me. He is a complete control freak, hasn't said so, but I can pick up on it. He is very calm (which I love and need) but guarded. He went through something last year (scorp secrecy strikes again)and he told me I had been so neccessary during that time. Only thing I haven't managed to deduce is that he is unsure about everyone around him and he feels like everyone wants something from him. We had a brief falling out/distancing through last winter and he reached out in the spring, I was cordial, but hesitant. He reached out again, remembering my birthday. We tried to patch things up and get together, but we are stuck between a rock and a hard place. It is obvious that there is a connection between us. But he wants "to just be happy in the moments he has to be happy" and he feels like clarifying things between us, makes it heavy and complicated. I have told him, I feel like it simplifys. One of the last times we communicated (which is always via text...I've read that is a scorp thing, I dunno)I put my foot in my mouth and basically revealed I was in love with him. I felt like an idiot. He told me he didn't want me to feel that way at all. Begged me not to, telling me that he trusts me more than most of his own family. I told him I was afraid I would always feel like this unless he treated me like crap (thats usually how we Taurus ladys love...steadfast), so I asked him to just go ahead and say something mean and cruel..put me out my misery. He said, he can't do that becuase I am important to him. Also offered to make me more comfortable. Suggested me getting to see him get vulnerable and give up some control. Which is not at all easy for him to do. I know he cares. He is an uber Christian (his words). I am very patient. But I am also scared. I don't want to be taken for a ride. I have expressed this to him and he immediately tries to calm me down, saying that isn't it at all, its not about a booty call, etc. But he isn't quite sure what it is (he has always been better as saying what things aren't rather than what they are).

Any help would be very much appriciated. And I would be happy to provide further info as necessary.

I know this scorp stuff well. Sounds so much like a former scorp to me. Non committal till the end. I will write more later when Im not sleep deprived.

i don't think communicating by text is a scorpio thing. it's something people do when they want to hide behind words on a screen. it prevents a 'real' connection from developing further....from his part at least.

what IS a scorpio thing however is knowing what something ISN'T rather than knowing what something IS. it's the emotional equivalent of a half empty glass. scorps always veer to the negative at the beginning of relationships. almost like sabotaging things before they've even left the ground. if a scorp overthinks things and can't see the long term picture clearly with that person in it, they assume it isn't meant to be and set about throwing rocks and high jumps in the path of the relationship....seeing obstacles before they've appeared.

you know those dishes you get in restaurants that are called something 'deconstructed'? when they take a traditional recipe like bread and butter pudding for example and they break it down into separate pieces and present it on the plate with what they call a 'modern twist'.

well, that's what scorps do with relationships. it's the stinger - which as you know is mostly directed at ourselves. we have this horrible ability to take something really good and break it down into parts so that it doesn't resemble what you started out with at all. it's all designed to prevent us from FEELING something for someone else because that is a scarey place for scorps to be in. huge loss of control.

but cos we're emotional cowards, we would rather you reach the conclusion that there's no point continuing yourself and so our behaviour becomes such that we drive people away cos then we aren't responsible for any hurt or pain.

the one thing that can cut through this is if we feel the other person is 1000% genuine in their feelings. when someone loves us deeply and proves it despite our bad behaviour, it's a very potent drug to us. obvs there has to be something there at the core but there's something that is overwhelmingly compelling to a scorp to be loved no matter how hard we try to sabotage things.

if we don't want to take responsibility for someone else's feelings though....that is a clear sign that the feeling isn't mutual. if i've hurt someone I care about it consumes me and i start laying my cards on the table and being honest about my feelings.

to scorps, professing feelings for someone is a weakness and so if we do, you can be damn sure we mean everything we say.

Thank You R1g0rM0rT1s!!!! I loved how you explained it like deconstructed food! Interesting to me though. I am not like that at all.

In some ways it seems he and I are exactly alike (both very sensitive and sentimental) and in others exact opposites. I tend to deal with things head on and speak very plainly. In my mind that makes things simple and clear. No confusion for all parties involved. I said to him early on, "I figure this is me and people can like me just as I am and if not, oh well". I also tend to look at things from a positive place, very glass half full. It's like there are things about each of us that we can appriciate in the other and use for growth.

Any time I did come out and reveal deep and meaningful thoughts/feelings is when I have noticed he does tend to open up more. But still very slow. I have to initiate and then he seems to follow.

He is the one and only man I have every fully trusted to let be in control. Normally, I am very much the boss. Personnally, Professionally, etc. It is extreamly hard for me not to be, just who I am. But with him, I for some reason, just can't.

Why is having feelings for someone percieved as weak? I do understand scorps are very controlled and strong. I tend to see being able to embrace the unknown and chaos of emotions to be an equally a strong characteristic.

Posted by BigGirlPanties
I know this scorp stuff well. Sounds so much like a former scorp to me. Non committal till the end. I will write more later when Im not sleep deprived.

Thanks!!! Looking forward to it! 🙂

Rig, shut your mouth!!!!!!!!!!! 😛

you disagree?

No I believe Elle does agree...she just doesnt want the *family* secrets getting out.

😉

:-)

I can understand that.

After Rig posted, I felt a bit calmer about the whole thing. She doesn't even know me was just trying to be helpful. It meant a great deal.

Well, that tells me something. Why is it such a big secret? I truely don't understand.

i'm sorry elle.....i broke the scorpio code of conduct. do we have to shoot emerald now? LOL

the biggest problem with scorps is that they come over as 'mysterious' cos there's more going on inside than there is on the surface. we are great poker players for that reason.

you are just best off not knowing what's going on inside tbh....there's constant dialogue going on in there....it can be quite deafening.

i dunno. i just always have this feeling that if i admit my feelings to someone out loud they're just gonna use it against me at some point, lol. paranoid? WHO SAID THAT!!??!!! *eyes dart from side to side*

First time I ever post, lol, and my death is imminant...HA!

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s

well, that's what scorps do with relationships. it's the stinger - which as you know is mostly directed at ourselves. we have this horrible ability to take something really good and break it down into parts so that it doesn't resemble what you started out with at all. it's all designed to prevent us from FEELING something for someone else because that is a scarey place for scorps to be in. huge loss of control.

but cos we're emotional cowards, we would rather you reach the conclusion that there's no point continuing yourself and so our behaviour becomes such that we drive people away cos then we aren't responsible for any hurt or pain.

the one thing that can cut through this is if we feel the other person is 1000% genuine in their feelings. when someone loves us deeply and proves it despite our bad behaviour, it's a very potent drug to us. obvs there has to be something there at the core but there's something that is overwhelmingly compelling to a scorp to be loved no matter how hard we try to sabotage things.

If I'm understanding correctly, it seems like it would be really difficult to be a Scorp if you really do care about someone. You care about them, but you're not convinced they care about you, you assume the worst, and push them away since you're thinking it probably wouldn't work out anyway, then you're bummed that they don't try harder, but at the same time, you kind of expected it.

I would think it would be easier if you ("you" as in Scorps, not you specifically) shared more of your thinking with your object of affection so they could better understand where you're coming from, but it doesn't seem to happen often. Is it because the fear of rejection or fear of being vulnerable by sharing feelings is stronger than the desire to be understood? (not being judgmental, just genuinely curious).

i'm only really talking about the initial stages of a relationship. Of course you should be able to share and communicate with your partner at a deep level but personally, i have to warm up considerably to have that amount of trust.

personally, i just don't like talking about 'feelings' mine or anyone else's, lol. i've never initiated a 'talk' in my life and if anyone i was seeing suggested a talk....i'm off!!

the thing is. feelings are 'feelings' and i don't know how they can be expressed to adequately explain them so it's better just to feeeeeel and shut yer gob!!

I was talking with my mom this morning (pieces) and she tends to show her love by dropping anything and everything for the people she cares about and doing acts of service to help or be there for them. But she does that bc when she was little her parents never behaved that way and she never felt loved. We all tend to show/communicate our feelings in different ways based on what means the most to us. It always comes down to miscommunication. A hug means more to this person, saying 'I love you' means more to that person. When we don't let each other know how we best recieve love, it sets all parties up for hurt feelings. And ironically the ones we love the most end up being those we most often hurt, unintentionally.

Communication is key! Just makes life easier, I think.

Posted by ellessque


....and it's really not fear

fear of rejection, insecurities....none of that crap

it's just like rig said....feelings are feelings.

so many times we are told our feelings are "wrong" or "too much"...emotional, passionate, intense...blah blah blah

so why bother? just feel.

Gotcha, I think I understand it a little better now. Scorps (generally speaking) innately just don't like to discuss feelings. Even more so because others often misinterpret them.

My ex Scorp gave me the impression often that he felt misunderstood as a person. When we split up and he wanted to get back together, I asked why, and he said that I "got" a lot of things about him that others didn't. I thought that was funny in a way, because there were a lot of things I was still thoroughly confused about!

Geez, I hope you guys have better luck at finding people who "get" you more than he has.

I guess I've never really though about feelings just being feelings.

I loooooove the intensity!!!!! Feels so much more meaningful. And I often see myself as marching to beat of a different drum, lol. Over thinking is just part of who I am. Haha!

But, I am (in many, but not all ways) an open book. Makes it easier for me to tell who really likes me.

Also, it is a personal annoyance to me to be misunderstood or falsely accused. So I don't leave any options for misinterpretation.

I think Scorps just handle that the opposite way Taurus does. We confront, you avoid?

oh yeah.....i HATE confrontation but if confronted, i don't run away from it but i'll be agressive in my responses.