Should I just give up on this scorpio man?

I met a scorpio who I THOUGHT was interested, but I just couldn't read him. Even though he contacts me daily, I'm just not sure what he's thinking.

Soooo being the straightforward sag that I am (I have the foot in mouth disease too I'm afraid..lol), I asked him about it. I told him I gathered he just wasn't that into me and wished him a great life. Well he seemed shocked and told me that he indeed was interested. I told him I didn't think so b/c he only asked me out a couple of times (though we talk daily). He explained how he's having hard financial times right now and didn't have the option of asking me out. I informed him I don't care WHAT we do and we could go to the park or something free. So anyway, I keep talking to him b/c I think he must be interested.

Fast forward one month and 4 dates later he FINALLY kisses me. It was great. He even called the next day to tell me how much fun he had and how tired he was (he stayed at my house until 4:30 a.m. though nothing happened). Anyway, the only time we get together is when *I* invite him over - sometimes after hinting around from him.

Also, when we IM he will be all flirty and we'll be chit chatting and then he'll just disappear with NO explanation. He stays online, but stops talking. WTF is up with that??!!! That REALLY annoys me. I always just say "well guess you got busy - talk to ya later" or something like that b/c I'm not gonna wait around for him to reply.

So help me scorps!!! He comments on how "hot" I am and either IMs or calls frequently, but I don't think seeing me only 4-5 times in a month shows much interest. He did say he's not used to the dating thing and admits he's shy. He also seems pretty insecure from some comments he's made to me. I told him I don't chase guys and HE needs to pursue ME, but he says he's not used to doing the pursuing. SO what should I do??

I really, really like the guy, but think I might be ready to throw up my hands on this one. Is he playing games w/me?? Why SAY you are indeed interested, but only do something w/me when *I* am the one doing the inviting— It's getting old. Is he doing this on purpose or is he just shy/insecure or what—!! HELP PLEASE!

- Crazy Confused Saggie :-)

I have read here for a week and FINALLY decided to post. lol I don't see anything like my situation since our relationship hasn't taken off the ground yet and also since I KNOW I couldn't have hurt or offended him in any way.

I read all about the "mysterious" behavior but I still didn't see anything close enough to my situation to help. Most have been in a relationship with the guy for quite awhile, even years. That or they've had an argument where he has withdrawn. I even did a word search for "scorpio." Trust me, I have obsessed over this for a week or so. lol I would like help on MY situation. If you can't that's fine. Hopefully someone will take pity on me and explain. I just want to know if I'm completely wasting my time or not. Should *I* withdraw or give it more time. I know I've read to be patient with them too, but I just don't know if he's interested in me enough for me to do that. Thanks! :-)

Thanks Gem! I see what you're saying about a MAN pursuing. I feel the same way NORMALLY, I just REALLY liked this one and it sucks to let him go. lol I guess maybe I need to though.

Just so you know though, I didn't really TELL him to pursue me. I was actually just telling him goodbye b/c I didn't think he was interested in me. He was like don't do that!! And then I explained WHY I didn't think he liked me, that I'm used to being pursued and he said HE was used to being pursued and didn't know what he was doing. So in the end, I said let's agree to compromise then. lol Anyway, even though he has hinted he wants to see me (then I ask him over and he quickly complies), he still hasn't invited me anywhere.

Any other ideas? He does seem insecure so could it be that I DO need to let him know that I'm interested more?? I haven't been b/c that just seems kinda needy/clingy to me and I'm not normally like that.

Yeah id have to agree with GL,.I know you really like him but try just being a friend to him but dont wait for him. Aprilbaby point because there are alot of questions and answers that are particularly in the same area as your question which may help you or give a general idea, listen to your intuition about your situation but not to what you actually want out of this and you'll have an answer: )

Help,

I am a Libra who has very similar experiences with Scorpio men. I have come to the conclusion that they have their own time frame and can't be persuaded otherwise. They will wait Y E A R S. I mean that. Y E A R S.

Since I have never been successful with them, I can't give you much advice. You just have to be patient.

Yeah Gem, I too usually want someone who has it together - WITHOUT me. I would like to ENHANCE someone's life, not become it or "fix" it. I just don't think he's "normally" like this. He's going through a rough time right now which he's informed me about and I am hoping this is all out of character for him, though I do believe he's shy regardless. That I can handle though. Hell I'm outgoing enough for the both of us!! LOL

Thanks BlueAqua! I think my intuition might be broken though. lol I read many posts on scorpios and all about the push/pull, and if he'd pulled enough in the beginning, maybe I wouldn't be at such a loss. I just don't know if he was EVER into me you know?? Therefore, I can't be secure in knowing he's just taking time to reflect, think, etc. Though I have read they SAY what they mean and he did SAY he liked me so...

Thanks Dancing Bread :-) Yeah, you are right in that I do know he's on edge right now - he's going through a lot at the moment, that's why I didn't want to write it off too quickly, but it's sort of driving me nuts at the moment. lol I'm also actually fine with only seeing each other once or twice a week - I can find my own entertainment - that is IF I KNOW you are interested and that you aren't just seeing a few others on the sly. lol I actually like my space at times too. I just hate that it's the beginning b/c I'm not secure enough yet to know WHAT to think of it. It just seems to early (a little over a month) to talk to him about how often we should see each other - you know?

Good!! So the "shy" scorps aren't players then usually?? That's exactly what I'm worried about b/c I've read about the player scorpios. I was HOPING it wasn't just an act. He definitely seems nervous when we hang out and even on his phone messages, so I'm hoping he's a good guy. Oooooooh so the MORE he likes me the LESS likely he is to make a move—!!! I did read if you sleep w/them too soon they lose interest (which is fine b/c I never do..lol), but did't know it included kissing.

Are you a scorpio Dancing Bread— If so, PLEASE tell me all you can that will help me understand them more. I am completely intrigued - I can't explain it, but he's gotten under my skin somehow and I am NOT easily "gotten." LOL

Thanks again everybody!!! :-)

Gem's right - I ain't fragile at all - I'm a SAG remember? LOL Then again, I do appreciate your looking out for me Dancing Bread. :-)

little sparrow - YEARS??!! Are you kidding me??!! Well if that's the case he can definitely forget it. I have too many others pursuing me to wait around for years on a wishy-washy man. lol Thanks!! :-)

*toO early (had to fix that, hate typos lol)

I think everyone is a little insecure at the beginning of a new relationship Help. I think it is very common. 🙂

Interesting about the more he likes you the less likely he is to make a move thing. I know in one of my Scorp cases that is very true. He told me he was always afraid because it would be too intense but at least 7 yrs later, he is talking about it. That is progress! lol!

LOL @ Gem! Actually, I will take ANY advice I can get at the moment. lol

DB - Hmmm specific question. Well, how about this? Can you tell me why he just disappears on IM for no reason or explanation - even when HE is the one who contacted ME. If he were at work at the time, I would understand, but he's not. I think this is rude. It's kind of like calling me, asking a question and then hanging up on me before I finish answering. lol Could it be that he's talking to other girls at the same time or when you are "into" a girl are you sometimes afraid to talk or something? What gives? Also, in general, do you normally back away because you LIKE the girl or b/c you aren't interested?? I've just read quite a few places where if they want you - YOU WILL KNOW. THat they pursue you relentlessly. This obviously isn't the case w/my scorp, which has me confused. Can you give me more insight into how the "shy" scorp acts when he really likes someone? I HATE games, but if he's playing them on me, I MUST win. lol Should I be MORE or LESS available do you think?? I normally go with LESS b/c I have a life too, but I do really want this guy!!!! lol

little sparrow - Seven YEARS later??!!! Damn!! My eggs will be shriveling up by then LMAO (I'm 32).

I find Scorp men are just weird with me. They usually pop up every couple of months look at me with big moon eyes, then run away for awhile. They ALWAYS come back, but it is the damnest thing.

If they want you sexually you know it. Usually when they back you into a wall, start kissing you, and hand you something.

If they want more, I am not sure how true that statement is.

Scorp girl here..I say, he's defo interested and yes he's the shy type..so u will have to be patient..The fact that he wanted to make an effort when you said your leaving etc, is a sign. Scorpio men do have a habit of disapearing, they are very independent..so you just have to deal with that..trust me, they shy type are better than the player type..the latter would drive you to an early grave..just leave him to deal with things. He obviously is busy at the moment..Don't think about it, get on with your life..trust me he'll be back. I don't think Scorp guys wait for years..thats crazy..I certainly don't have that much time to waste on anyone..

Oh they will wait years. I just watched my best friend drive a Leo into submission after 10 yrs.

If they want you and the timing isn't good, they will wait years.

Well, it wasn't their hearts. 😉

.... or maybe it was ... that would explain somethings. lol

One of them is seven year boy

DB

Do what? Attract Scorps?

I dunno. They seem to find me. Indian Jones would be terrified of the number of Scorpios scurrying about in my life. I don't mind though. I think Scorps are good people.

Wait about while they figure things out?

I don't.

I have two planets in Water and they are weak planets. Everything else is Air (libra) and Fire including my ascendent.

I went through the same thing with Virgos a few years ago. Everyone in my life was a Virgo. Now, everyone is a Scorp. *shrugs*

My ascendent is Sag.

Yep. We are Libra/Aquarian twins.

(The others are shaking in fear.)

Thanks for all your help again guys!!

I think I f-ed it all up now though. We talked on Tuesday and it was all going well - he said a couple flirty comments and then just stopped talking again. Sooo I said "well, guess you got busy. If you ever want to do something, feel free to call or drop me a line. Otherwise, good luck to ya :-). He was still online but didn't respond to me. I haven't heard anything since. Do you think I pissed him off?? I would just really like him to step up to the plate and ask me to do something, instead of making it MY duty. I am also pissed at myself now b/c I've been single and dating for 5 years since my divorce and NEVER let a guy get under my skin like this. Friends tease me that my signature phrase is "NEXT!" so what the hell has this guy done to me?! I mean, we haven't even slept together!! LOL HELP again, please :-)

Dancing bread or any other scorps or those that know scorps - if you had to guess, would you say I'll hear from him again eventually or did I piss him off too badly?? Should I wait it out or contact him?? I wish I could get this boy off my mind!!!

That's the thing though, I HAVE been sharing my feelings. I told him I was interested and I have been doing the inviting. I don't know what more I can do to show interest other than to chase him - which I just don't think I can (or want) to do. HE is the one I can't read. He told me he was interested and liked me back, but only when I told him I was moving on b/c he obviously wasn't that into me. Trust me, I HATE games and only started backing off b/c he seemed to be. That's why I laid it on the line about calling if he wants to do something - so he knew where I stood WITHOUT the games. But now I'm second guessing myself b/c I'm wondering if I'll ever hear from him again.

I agree with the Bread man.

You told him if he was interested in meeting up with you to contact you. There aint much more you can do. Ball is in his court.

I think if you mark it down on your calander and count he will reappear within 8 weeks. (Just my theory.)

8 Weeks!!! Thats a long time...but maybe not to a Scorpion...My Scorpio called me the night before last and made my whole week,,,,I love him.

"If they want you and the timing isn't good, they will wait years. "

true. mine has just began ti come closer to a bity of trust in my love for him, after I went throuhg hell and back, and so him, after 3 YEARS, hon.
and it's just the start.

sorry, I typed it bad.

Yes, I remember a Sag girl who had the same complaint with me when we first started dating. Eight years later, the relationship just kept getting stronger. Patience is the key. Good luck.

Help,

are you still around the dxp boards? I'd love to find out what happened between you and your Scorp because I'm kind of going through the same thing right now! Although, I don't think my Scorp is the "shy" type like you mentioned yours was.

But we've hung out a total of 9 times in about 3 months, and he's yet to make a move on me...we haven't kissed or ANYTHING...just some cuddling and that's about it. If he's not into me, why ask me to hang out so much?! Is he trying to be a nice guy, but all he really wants is sex and he's trying to get me to trust him or something? I don't get it. I want to be patient with this Scorp because I really like hanging out with him but as you also stated, you want to make sure he's actually into you and not playing you so that you don't waste your time...and that's how I feel right now too!

Anyways, I'd love an update on you and your Scorp if you're still around! You Scorps are so hard to read!! :-P

- unsure_aries

I agree with LS, if timing is bad & they have a lot going on in their life, they will hold back. If you back off, they wil contact you & the game plays on, lol. I've been doing this with a scorp for 2 years. It's been exhausting, hurtful & at times painful. Sounds great doesnt it!!! Lol. Finally, I've learned that not putting pressure on him & maintaining more of a friendship eases everything. Live your life! Date other men if you want, enjoy your friends. He will be back....