aqualadyy
@aqualadyy
10 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 20 · Topics: 2



Posted by PhoenixRising
I'm beginning to believe you're simply trolling the board now....
I'm waiting in line, so I'll play for a few. How would you describe yourself? What are some of the qualities you have that you believe your Scorp likes? Both serious questions.
Posted by PhoenixRising
I'm beginning to believe you're simply trolling the board now....
I'm waiting in line, so I'll play for a few. How would you describe yourself? What are some of the qualities you have that you believe your Scorp likes? Both serious questions.
Posted by VenusStar
Anything you do on social media that would make him angry is something he shouldn't do either. Its disrespectful to you and your relationship. He placates you as if you were a child that needs reassurance and its all manipulation so that you don't challenge him. I suspect you're under 25yo. Don't marry this man. I would consider breaking up because what he did is a form of cheating and he seems to be living in the "single" frame of mind and not serious about your relationship
The user who posted this message has hidden it.

Posted by aqualadyyPosted by PhoenixRising
I'm beginning to believe you're simply trolling the board now....
I'm waiting in line, so I'll play for a few. How would you describe yourself? What are some of the qualities you have that you believe your Scorp likes? Both serious questions.
How am I trolling...if you don't like my questions then don't respond? I'm asking for people's input and advice..this is a forum after all.click to expand

Posted by aqualadyyThe user who posted this message has hidden it.
I am not trying to cause an argument neither am I wanting any drama! I appreciate you trying to help..I don't think I'm insecure..I'm more loyal and honest. That's why I'm confused as to why he did it because I wouldn't do something like that because I'm committed. I want loyalty and honesty in a relationship. Yes I do think he loves me. The qualities you ask about...I'm a family orientated person, thoughtful, he said he admires my positivity, the fact I've helped him so much and been there for him, i speak to his family respectfully, I'm honest and straight to the point, I'm not a dramatic all over the place person, I'm strong and can handle myself, I try to make him happy, I think outside the box... We have a lot in common and have similar goals.click to expand


Posted by aqualadyy
I guess I'm concerned because I just don't want to be taken for granted. I've given my heart to someone... I don't want to be taken for as a fool...
Posted by aqualadyy
I want the loyalty and honesty back....
Posted by aqualadyy
Perhaps you're right..I wanted the loyalty straight away but he wasn't ready yet. It's just, when I see the comments from the past it makes me frustrated.
Of course there are going to be other people out there who are attractive but no he hasn't flirted with anyone infront of me and I wouldn't do that either to him. There have been comments I've seen but I never said anything to him because I don't want the drama....click to expand

Posted by aqualadyy
I don't want to doubt his love for me..it would be stupid for me to ask him how he feels about me now?
Posted by INTJBull
He commented "you're awesome" on a picture of hot chocolate 2 years ago & this made you question his loyalty, honesty & feelings for you?
That's not good but it doesn't have anything to do with him. It has to do with your own insecurity. I agree with Phoenix. I get the whole loyalty & trust thing because those are important to me. I can even understand being possessive to a degree because I can be that too when it's warranted but commenting on a picture of a beverage is not.... at all. I'm not a Scorp so maybe it wouldn't bother them (& if it wouldn't that explains a lot lol) but for me, a Taurus with a lot of air, just reading that made me panic. That's feels very suffocating to me. 😢
Posted by PhoenixRising
^^^cont
If there is some resentments because of past issues, you need to address that also. As much as you're trying to ignore them it seems to be coming up in other ways (e.g. how secure you feel in the relationship).
Posted by aqualadyy
I don't want to doubt his love for me..it would be stupid for me to ask him how he feels about me now?
It really isn't. As I've stated we all feel some insecurity. Checking in with our partner is needed sometime. Being honest about your fears and having your partner respond builds intimacy. He can't respond to concerns he doesn't know about though.click to expand
Posted by tiziani
I must say I learnt a great deal at the back of my mind from reading PheonixRising's responses alone. Thank you both for the thread.
I think the two most positive solution-oriented questions you could ask yourself were posted:
What qualities do you think he appreciates in you?
How are you defining loyalty?
It's good to answer these even just alone in private.
Posted by aqualadyyPosted by INTJBull
He commented "you're awesome" on a picture of hot chocolate 2 years ago & this made you question his loyalty, honesty & feelings for you?
That's not good but it doesn't have anything to do with him. It has to do with your own insecurity. I agree with Phoenix. I get the whole loyalty & trust thing because those are important to me. I can even understand being possessive to a degree because I can be that too when it's warranted but commenting on a picture of a beverage is not.... at all. I'm not a Scorp so maybe it wouldn't bother them (& if it wouldn't that explains a lot lol) but for me, a Taurus with a lot of air, just reading that made me panic. That's feels very suffocating to me. 😢
hi there...im not concerned about the picture but how he was talking to the girl...it was the kind of things he used to say to me before he asked me out...and then a year or two later hes using those lines on some random girl..maybe he wanted attention or he wasn't committed. I'm not sure. Around that time, I was undergoing a lot of stress and sadness with my family and I recall he was quite depressed with work. This could perhaps factor towards wanting attention or something I don't know? He was quite immature back then and obviously I didn't know he was writing comments to other girls. If I had known then I would of asked him about it. My chart is dominated by Capricorn, some scorpio and a little aquarius..so I take things quite seriously and I am a little intense..Me wanting committment and loyalty is not a bad thing. I was surprised when I saw the comments. Its not like I am saying to him he can't talk to girls...that was the past and I'm just trying to understand why he did it. It might not be a major thing for some people. I haven't asked about these comments from two years ago to him as its the past. But, to be fair I don't keep an eye on him. When I have asked him he says to me back then he was an idiot, or your the only girl I want and love. I trust him 100%click to expand
Posted by lisabethur8
Y?_u can't lug these kind of heavy feelings around like a weight on your shoulders before marrying him. It's gonna make you not trust him during your marriage either and you're Always gonna suspect him checking out sexy photos of women and commenting on them. lol
Men look see gorgeous women all the day longgggg. at work, on tv, at events, everywhere. You can't be so insecure that he's thinking he's gonna go get some.
he might as well stay single if he's gonna be like that. (bachelor forever and he can enjoy himself all he wants).

Posted by aqualadyy
'If there is some resentments because of past issues, you need to address that also. As much as you're trying to ignore them it seems to be coming up in other ways (e.g. how secure you feel in the relationship).' You're correct, I do try to ignore it but I don't want to have doubts or insecurity in this relationship so I end up pushing it away and focus on the now.
Posted by aqualadyy
Asking how he feels about me...I don't want him to think I am questioning his love for me because I know deep down he is sensitive.click to expand

ke the time to figure out why you're asking the question you're about to ask your partner. I mean look at this:
Posted by aqualadyy
...like I mentioned in the other post, he probably wanted attention and thats why he messaged girls. Even if it was something stupid or random.... The last year, things have turned around completely. We ended up having an argument....We spoke about it and he changed. He let go and it was like he was in love with me all over again.
You have yet to state what he is doing now to cause you distress. You confirmed he hasn't disrespected you. He has shown in actions that he loves you. You even stated you do not doubt he loves you, so....really look at why you have an issue with this and own what is yours.
If you come at him with "why were you making random comments on women's pictures 2 years ago? Why would you do that?!" If you make it all about him, how do you think that will go?
Posted by aqualadyy
How can I ask without making him feel awkward?click to expand
Hmph. That's not how Scorps work. We can't be spoon fed lines because it comes off as disingenuous and like...well frankly a bunch of lines, so I can't help you create a script. It really won't work in your favour in the long term. The best way to communciate with a Scorp is to "feel" them out and follow their emotional lead. This is your man. Own that sh*t. Are you telling me after 4+years you don't know how to communicate with him? How he tics? What words soothe him or opens him up and support a conversation vs shutting it down? Words that allow him to feel heard and loved while addressing your needs?
What I will say in general, acknowledge his effort and love and put your concerns out there---as your concerns.
Posted by PhoenixRising
^^^Really take the time to figure out why you're asking the question you're about to ask your partner. I mean look at this:
Posted by aqualadyy
...like I mentioned in the other post, he probably wanted attention and thats why he messaged girls. Even if it was something stupid or random.... The last year, things have turned around completely. We ended up having an argument....We spoke about it and he changed. He let go and it was like he was in love with me all over again.
You have yet to state what he is doing now to cause you distress. You confirmed he hasn't disrespected you. He has shown in actions that he loves you. You even stated you do not doubt he loves you, so....really look at why you have an issue with this and own what is yours.
If you come at him with "why were you making random comments on women's pictures 2 years ago? Why would you do that?!" If you make it all about him, how do you think that will go?
Posted by aqualadyy
How can I ask without making him feel awkward?
Hmph. That's not how Scorps work. We can't be spoon fed lines because it comes off as disingenuous and like...well frankly a bunch of lines, so I can't help you create a script. It really won't work in your favour in the long term. The best way to communciate with a Scorp is to "feel" them out and follow their emotional lead. This is your man. Own that sh*t. Are you telling me after 4+years you don't know how to communicate with him? How he tics? What words soothe him or opens him up and support a conversation vs shutting it down? Words that allow him to feel heard and loved while addressing your needs?
What I will say in general, acknowledge his effort and love and put your concerns out there---as your concerns.click to expand
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I see that he comments on random girls pictures. It looks like he is being flirtatious yet sarcastic if that makes any sense so that's why I'm unsure how I feel about it. For example there is this picture I found he commented on which is on a girls profile. It is just of a hot chocolate she made yet he was saying how amazing it is and that she is amazing. He made these comments two years ago so it was the beginning of our relationship but I just seen them now. Also other things I seen is he commented on a girls pic of her face saying wow!! That was a couple of months ago. And also another example of a girl showing her abs and he said show off! I have spoken to him in the past about it and I hope he reassured me that he loves me and only me but I don't know what to make of it. Most of the comments are from two years ago like I mentioned which was the starting of our relationship. But why would he still have to comment on girls photos even if its just something random. Do scorpios do this? Are you into social media and do this even if you're in love with someone? I thought he was serious about me. I don't know if he still does it now and what to make of it. Please advise. I would really like to hear your thoughts on this