wineauxisback
@wineauxisback
13 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 96 · Topics: 6
tell me scorps, should i just chill?
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Posted by wineauxisback
i'm in a bit of a quandry, so i thought i'd bevvy up to the 'ask a scorp' desk for some guidance so here goes...
we met 12/14 and immediately made plans for a first date the next week which was sublime.
the day after our first date, he jetted out with a friend (that he has been physical with in the past) for a 4 day vaca that had been planned prior to.
we decided that we needed to see one another again before xmas as the intensity was just building before his next trip (for the family xmas) so we had yet another date.
after xmas as in tomorrow, he leaves on yet another trip that includes someone he's currently DATING. this, again, was planned prior to me, however, this is a one bed date for 2 nights/3 days.
i'd love to be in her place, but that is not possible.
he talked about her and asked me, it's not going to work is it? the distance? i'm all for giving advice and all, but is he looking for validation from me or is this his way out?
Memo from Scorp desk: SMFH - you say there's water in your chart, the air in your chart has dried it up and not only that dried it up so much there's no moistrue left to OPEN YOUR EYES. End of memo.
hmmmm....interesting comments. i've taken people i'm dating on trips with me and slept in the same bed. are we in the 1950's here? i can't expect someone i just started seeing to drop their entire lives and dedicate them to me ifweonlymetlikeyesterday.
i guess my next question is what is dating then? don't people sleep together when they're dating?
i guess my next question is what is dating then? don't people sleep together when they're dating?
Posted by wineauxisback
hmmmm....interesting comments. i've taken people i'm dating on trips with me and slept in the same bed. are we in the 1950's here? i can't expect someone i just started seeing to drop their entire lives and dedicate them to me ifweonlymetlikeyesterday.
i guess my next question is what is dating then? don't people sleep together when they're dating?
Yea..it's called FWB..nothing more. You don't get to be jealous, you don't get to ask questions, you just lay back when he tells you to..no questions asked, and he gets to leave and go to the next no questions asked. It's 2013 this is the behavior some females dictate to men, so ENJOY (but no questions allowed).
Posted by wineauxisback
...but it's too soon to expect exclusivity, no?
he talked about her and asked me, it's not going to work is it? the distance? i'm all for giving advice and all, but is he looking for validation from me or is this his way out?
I envision the chesire cat, here.
And damn..
He's working you like a day job.
My 2 cents....
I wouldn't be able to handle this situation knowing he's sleeping with other women. But, I don't share ever. I'm more of a one person gal...even during the getting to know you "dating" phase. I personally would tell this dude you are interested in him & if things don't work out with the other gal to give you a call, otherwise see ya bye. He will respect you more if you have boundaries. If you don't care if it goes anywhere & are just looking for a good time, then don't worry about it & just have fun with him.
I wouldn't be able to handle this situation knowing he's sleeping with other women. But, I don't share ever. I'm more of a one person gal...even during the getting to know you "dating" phase. I personally would tell this dude you are interested in him & if things don't work out with the other gal to give you a call, otherwise see ya bye. He will respect you more if you have boundaries. If you don't care if it goes anywhere & are just looking for a good time, then don't worry about it & just have fun with him.
Scorpio men or any men...some women are just DENSE.
As for the definition of dating...I think everyone is different. It's more of what YOU feel comfortable with. To ME, dating is talking with & spending time with someone fairly frequently to get to know one another better & once you feel comfortable with them, then consider getting a little more intimate with kissing, etc...but I'm a bit old fashioned I guess. I've had guys not ask me out again after a couple dates cuz I wouldn't make out with them. Oh well, buh-bye!! To me, it's just too intimate when I barely know them. So, having just met someone 11 days ago I would not be considering sleeping with him yet, but that's just me.
Posted by wineauxisback
he leaves on yet another trip that includes someone he's currently DATING. this, again, was planned prior to me
prior to, five seconds after the last date doesn't quite matter. I think it's fair to say he's not as smitten as you are.
Posted by wineauxisback
i told him i'm a one person on the boiler plate kind of girl, but it's too soon to expect exclusivity, no? my words to him are whatever happens on this trip between you two i don't want to hear about as it could be damaging.
This is the most confusing statement ever, seriously. You want exclusivity, yet want to put your head in the sand and ignore the information that is right in front of your face. So basically, you've told him if you have sex with someone else I don't want to know about it. Nice foundation you're setting there. Scorp don't set boundaries for you. We will most certainly test them and walk all over you if you let us. But, let's continue....
Posted by wineauxisback
we have plans for nye together where i will be cooking a multi-course dinner in heels, a sexy apron & pearls and he's in charge of breakfast. is this just something i should deal with and not dwell on? i'd love to be in her place, but that is not possible. PS, she lives 2.5 hours away and i'm a few miles from his house. he talked about her and asked me, it's not going to work is it? the distance? i'm all for giving advice and all, but is he looking for validation from me or is this his way out?click to expand
You're doing way too much for a man you just met and is "DATING" someone else. You're coming off way too thirsty. You're trying to claim this man by doing all of this^^^and excusing all of the clear signs that he's not fully invested yet. Why? All you're doing is setting the stage for a relationship you're going to be complaining about in a few months. Slow down. Seriously.
Oops...
LOL! The what the hell is the point of the thread then? If you know this^^^^then why are you asking if you should worry about what he's doing?
Posted by wineauxisback
hmmmm....interesting comments. i've taken people i'm dating on trips with me and slept in the same bed. are we in the 1950's here? i can't expect someone i just started seeing to drop their entire lives and dedicate them to me ifweonlymetlikeyesterday.
LOL! The what the hell is the point of the thread then? If you know this^^^^then why are you asking if you should worry about what he's doing?
USE A CONDOM!
That is dating though isn't it? It's funny cause a scorpio was complaining on here about how people expect a commitment after a cup of coffee. Yet everyone is saying this guy is a dick for seeing other people when they aren't exclusive.
I guess you need to figure out what you're dating for. Not everyone dates for a relationship you know? Some people just wanna get laid, some people want a fuck buddy, some want multiple lays and fuck buddies and some want a relationship.
I suggest you ask him why he dates and look at if his actions back-up what his answer is. N see if that is a go or no for you.
I guess you need to figure out what you're dating for. Not everyone dates for a relationship you know? Some people just wanna get laid, some people want a fuck buddy, some want multiple lays and fuck buddies and some want a relationship.
I suggest you ask him why he dates and look at if his actions back-up what his answer is. N see if that is a go or no for you.
N don't lower or change what you believe is right for you just cause this "guy" might not agree with it. Someone else will.
Wasting you're time trying to impress someone who may not even have the same values as you? Bullshit. Waste of life.
It doesn't make you bad for being a one guy at a time girl and it doesn't make him a bad guy for maybe wanting more than one at a time women. ( if that is what he is into, like I said: ask )
It just makes you both different.
Wasting you're time trying to impress someone who may not even have the same values as you? Bullshit. Waste of life.
It doesn't make you bad for being a one guy at a time girl and it doesn't make him a bad guy for maybe wanting more than one at a time women. ( if that is what he is into, like I said: ask )
It just makes you both different.
Posted by wineauxisback
my words to him are whatever happens on this trip between you two i don't want to hear about as it could be damaging.
Why the hell did you say that? It's clearly something that is bothering you yet you choose to exonerate him of any guilt.
OH FUCKING SHOCKER..... you trolls are SO GODDAMN predictable.
So let's review..... chick meets this dude TWO WEEKS AGO and supposedly she's a fucking whore doormat with no self-esteem? Are you fucking kidding me? God I love how fucking self-righteous this place is.
She says they meet, they go on two dates. That's all the fucking information we have to go on. Meet + Two Dates. Did she say she dropped to her knees and slobbered on his cock the moment he came up and said hello? No, she didn't.
She said they have chemistry and a connection, but CLEARLY he has had some other plans in the works for quite some time??_ that is unless all you people plan out of town trips with people last second. But no, I am going to go ahead and guess they were planned ahead of time. With people he has been dating (not committed too, obvious-fucking-ly) prior to meeting OP.
So now, it's is of the majority opinion (or perhaps the loudly voiced TROLL opinion) that upon meeting said girl in a bar, restaurant??_. who knows (although I am sure the trolls would say they met on the street corner), that this dude should immediately cancel EVERYTHING else he has going on. For a girl he JUST FUCKING MET, LIKE 15 SECONDS AGO .
I don't know what planet you guys live on, but EVERYONE must be in a relationship, like EV-REE-ONE. Because clearly anytime you have a spark with someone you need to call the TV stations, hire a skywriting plane and announce it out loud and make sure to throw your entire black book away (because that doesn't scream needy, co-dependent, attention whore, stage 5 clinger AT ALL).
So let's review..... chick meets this dude TWO WEEKS AGO and supposedly she's a fucking whore doormat with no self-esteem? Are you fucking kidding me? God I love how fucking self-righteous this place is.
She says they meet, they go on two dates. That's all the fucking information we have to go on. Meet + Two Dates. Did she say she dropped to her knees and slobbered on his cock the moment he came up and said hello? No, she didn't.
She said they have chemistry and a connection, but CLEARLY he has had some other plans in the works for quite some time??_ that is unless all you people plan out of town trips with people last second. But no, I am going to go ahead and guess they were planned ahead of time. With people he has been dating (not committed too, obvious-fucking-ly) prior to meeting OP.
So now, it's is of the majority opinion (or perhaps the loudly voiced TROLL opinion) that upon meeting said girl in a bar, restaurant??_. who knows (although I am sure the trolls would say they met on the street corner), that this dude should immediately cancel EVERYTHING else he has going on. For a girl he JUST FUCKING MET, LIKE 15 SECONDS AGO .
I don't know what planet you guys live on, but EVERYONE must be in a relationship, like EV-REE-ONE. Because clearly anytime you have a spark with someone you need to call the TV stations, hire a skywriting plane and announce it out loud and make sure to throw your entire black book away (because that doesn't scream needy, co-dependent, attention whore, stage 5 clinger AT ALL).
Hmmn, ok, so let's be rational here??_. In the real world, where I live, people keep their options open when they are dating around. People don't drop everything and run skipping into rainbows after meeting you fifteen seconds ago??_. And if they did, would you really want them—? Because AFTER FIFTEEN SECONDS DO THEY EVEN KNOW YOU— Nuh uh, I would be worried if someone was that damn attracted that damn fast that they just needed someone, ANYONE will do. FUCK THAT.
Ok, so back to the OP??s story??_. Hmmn, who??s the doormat? The girl, OP, who (at least as far as we know) hasn't been back surfing OR the chicks TRAVELING WITH HIM and putting out KNOWING he's macking around town. And even if he's banging his way through skankville, there's nothing wrong with that??_. He's single. Does that make him a bad dude? Not really, because to me, it sounds like he's been very honest about who he is with the OP so I am going to guess he's that way elsewhere??_.. which means these girls KNOW what they are getting into.
Ok, so back to the OP??s story??_. Hmmn, who??s the doormat? The girl, OP, who (at least as far as we know) hasn't been back surfing OR the chicks TRAVELING WITH HIM and putting out KNOWING he's macking around town. And even if he's banging his way through skankville, there's nothing wrong with that??_. He's single. Does that make him a bad dude? Not really, because to me, it sounds like he's been very honest about who he is with the OP so I am going to guess he's that way elsewhere??_.. which means these girls KNOW what they are getting into.
So back to OP, she wants to know what she should do??_ be jealous? Start spreading pussy lips because the other skanky whores are? Ding dong ditch his ass?
OR MAYBE, JUST MAYBE??_.. she can realize that men are men and when they are playing the field you have to play by your own rules and what feels right TO YOU .
If she wants to have a romantical NYE with him, that's cool, but she needs to remember he has made no commitment to her. If she wants to enter into a sexual relationship with him, that's also cool, but she needs to remember he's sleeping with other girls. If she wants to continue to lightly date him and see if he starts closing the doors on the other girls and narrows it down to her, that's cool, and the only caveat I would add is??_. Keep her options open too!
You know, we could be logical and realize that here on earth, not in fairytale land where people act perfectly and ALWAYS have the right thing to say and do and no troll could EVER tear anything that they have ever, ever, ever said apart for their own sheer enjoyment at the displeasure of others??_.
Right, so here on earth, everyone you ever meet is going to be in a different place than you and it's about meeting on common ground, giving someone the allowances to be who they are and not sacrificing yourself??_. If that leads to a true connection??_. So be it.
OR MAYBE, JUST MAYBE??_.. she can realize that men are men and when they are playing the field you have to play by your own rules and what feels right TO YOU .
If she wants to have a romantical NYE with him, that's cool, but she needs to remember he has made no commitment to her. If she wants to enter into a sexual relationship with him, that's also cool, but she needs to remember he's sleeping with other girls. If she wants to continue to lightly date him and see if he starts closing the doors on the other girls and narrows it down to her, that's cool, and the only caveat I would add is??_. Keep her options open too!
You know, we could be logical and realize that here on earth, not in fairytale land where people act perfectly and ALWAYS have the right thing to say and do and no troll could EVER tear anything that they have ever, ever, ever said apart for their own sheer enjoyment at the displeasure of others??_.
Right, so here on earth, everyone you ever meet is going to be in a different place than you and it's about meeting on common ground, giving someone the allowances to be who they are and not sacrificing yourself??_. If that leads to a true connection??_. So be it.
Oh and a sidenote directly to the OP (and all other female posters under attack now and forevermore):
Anytime someone shows up to your post and (typically on the first page because they TROLL looking for these opportunities) don't ask any questions, don't ask for clarification.... nope, they just want to start bashing you and making you feel two inches tall.....
HIT THE IGNORE BUTTON. They are worthless pieces of shit anyway and will likely never say anything of value.... oh, and in the off chance that they EVER do redeem themselves with a resuscitated brain cell that produces a humanized post.... it won't last and they are better off let ignored anyway.
Anytime someone shows up to your post and (typically on the first page because they TROLL looking for these opportunities) don't ask any questions, don't ask for clarification.... nope, they just want to start bashing you and making you feel two inches tall.....
HIT THE IGNORE BUTTON. They are worthless pieces of shit anyway and will likely never say anything of value.... oh, and in the off chance that they EVER do redeem themselves with a resuscitated brain cell that produces a humanized post.... it won't last and they are better off let ignored anyway.
GetMisted, whether or not the OP and I are friendly, I have responded 100% to what is here in this thread. Show me where anything I may or may not know about the situation has slanted my remarks or my beliefs about the judgmental bullshit and self-righteousness all over this GD thread.
And FYI - It's not just for this OP that I go on these EXACT SAME RANTS.
Same Fuckers Up To The Same Shit
That's just within the last few days.... want me to pull up other OP's threads where I have done the EXACT SAME THING?
Whether or not I know the OP previously has nothing to do with my absolute disgust with the way people TROLL these boards.
And FYI - It's not just for this OP that I go on these EXACT SAME RANTS.
Same Fuckers Up To The Same Shit
That's just within the last few days.... want me to pull up other OP's threads where I have done the EXACT SAME THING?
Whether or not I know the OP previously has nothing to do with my absolute disgust with the way people TROLL these boards.
Posted by Rabbit
Funny thing about opinions...
When ask for them, there's a risk you might get some you don't like.
OP came here asking for an opinion about a Scorpio man.
I, as a Scorpio man, gave her my opinion. It was an honest opinion. I'm not sure how that's trolling.
I guess I've been doing it all wrong though. Apparently it's wrong to treat women with respect. I guess it's also wrong of me to expect women to respect themselves as well.
Perhaps she thought some classless drama would get people to change opinions?
hmm, nope I take full responsibility for my thoughts and opinions and would not change a thing.
Dense is as dense does. Not even a smidgen of a waiver there.
GM - That would be a discussion I would also advise her to have, as well as to reflect on what she can and cannot handle. Know your limits.
That being said, if it's within someone's natural nature to want to wear pearls and play house and they can leave with it JUST being that. Go for it, but one will have to do that just for the sake of enjoying that in the moment and not what they think it will manipulate/result in them gaining.
Rabbit, I love your version of treating women with respect. Fuck, I mean that's impressive. You might be THE most chivalrous man I have ever had the pleasure of interwebz meeting. Well, considering I never interwebz met the Craigslist Killer.
That being said, if it's within someone's natural nature to want to wear pearls and play house and they can leave with it JUST being that. Go for it, but one will have to do that just for the sake of enjoying that in the moment and not what they think it will manipulate/result in them gaining.
Rabbit, I love your version of treating women with respect. Fuck, I mean that's impressive. You might be THE most chivalrous man I have ever had the pleasure of interwebz meeting. Well, considering I never interwebz met the Craigslist Killer.
LIB - as if you history of being a self-righteous and judgmental hasn't already been established.
Troll away Fiona.
Troll away Fiona.
Posted by Rabbit
It's the usual stuff...
Poster asks question looking for validation of what they already think...
Poster doesn't get validation, but instead gets called out...
Poster gets pissed and accused people of being trolls...
Poster asks for opinions from the Scorp desk because poster knows she'll get direct, honest opinions.
Some non-scorps with a sense of entitlement feel they can come in and bash those honest opinions.
1.)Truth and honesty or 2.)back up dense people with no self respect?
...and if you don't like the opinion of others, too fucking bad
Posted by GetMisted
Actually, alot of the opinions on the scorp board aren't honest bit rather, responses in defense of a scorp. blockquote>
Yep, the cliques and ass kissers in dxp do that.^^
My only issue is not that you have opinions, it's how you deliver them. You seem to have forgotten that words are extremely powerful. You seem to have forgotten that you have no idea who you are speaking to at any given moment.
You bully when you could advise. You use accusatory language when you could find a better way to word your thoughts.
This may be extreme, but have you ever considered the mental state of a female with whom you say something like this to:
You ever think about how that might affect a fragile woman? You ever think about the butterfly effect your words could have?
You ever known anyone to commit suicide? I have.
Words have meaning. Words affect people. It would behoove you to keep that in mind, specifically, when you are talking to a new, or less frequent poster when you have NO idea where they are coming from mentally or emotionally.
You bully when you could advise. You use accusatory language when you could find a better way to word your thoughts.
This may be extreme, but have you ever considered the mental state of a female with whom you say something like this to:
Posted by Rabbit
If she's fine simply being an easy and convienient place for this guy to jam his cock into, then there's really no issue...
If she's looking for someone who's going to treat her with respect, she needs to look elsewhere.
This has absolutely nothing to do with him being a Scorpio. I'd say the behavior is disrespectful of women, but any woman with even a gram of self esteem isn't going to associate with this guy.
So basically...everyone's getting exactly what they deserve.
You ever think about how that might affect a fragile woman? You ever think about the butterfly effect your words could have?
You ever known anyone to commit suicide? I have.
Words have meaning. Words affect people. It would behoove you to keep that in mind, specifically, when you are talking to a new, or less frequent poster when you have NO idea where they are coming from mentally or emotionally.
Posted by GetMistedPosted by LetltBPosted by GetMisted
Actually, alot of the opinions on the scorp board aren't honest bit rather, responses in defense of a scorp.
Yep, the cliques and ass kissers in dxp do that.^^
And yourself.click to expand
Nope...following sheep off a cliff is something I refuse to do. But you know that now, don't you?😉
well isn't this exciting! *brings in spoon to stir the pot*
let me start by addressing everyone in order...
@mr bunny - you and i are about the same age and i find it refreshing that your view of dating is much more on the chivalrous side of the fence. i appreciate your opinion and have noted what i think applies to my situation. i will however defend my own honor as i DO have respect for myself but on a 2 dimensional post with no personal background, i can see how i might come off as a poor hopeless soul who's grasping at desperation straws.
@montgomery - this conversation was had within the first 24 hours of us meeting and was more of a question rather than a statement. during which time he was telling me his interest in her was not as deep and that this upcoming trip might be awkward. sometimes people want their egos stroked and sometimes they want their current possible future squeeze to come out and say 'dump that bish! i should be the one you want!' but alas, as GemsRa says, it's a bit to stage5clinger to come out within the first few weeks of dating and say you're mine and get matching tats.
@scorchedearth - it's been awhile! e-hugs...remember me from back in the crab days? 😉 pleasure to e-see you still around. i totally agree with what you're saying which is why i came here, but what i want and what i can expect are rarely the same. both trips had been planned for months, and demanding that those plans be dropped within a short period of time after meeting someone is definitely a bit on the extreme. he is dating, although not committed. he's allowed to do his thing and so am i until a commitment to exclusivity is on the table. dating is not committing. my geminian memememmeememe traits drive me batty because of course i want to be the priority 😛 one of the carnal rules of dating so you don't get your heart broken is to have a few pots on simmer instead of only one, that way if one of those pots burns out, you won't go hungry.
let me start by addressing everyone in order...
@mr bunny - you and i are about the same age and i find it refreshing that your view of dating is much more on the chivalrous side of the fence. i appreciate your opinion and have noted what i think applies to my situation. i will however defend my own honor as i DO have respect for myself but on a 2 dimensional post with no personal background, i can see how i might come off as a poor hopeless soul who's grasping at desperation straws.
@montgomery - this conversation was had within the first 24 hours of us meeting and was more of a question rather than a statement. during which time he was telling me his interest in her was not as deep and that this upcoming trip might be awkward. sometimes people want their egos stroked and sometimes they want their current possible future squeeze to come out and say 'dump that bish! i should be the one you want!' but alas, as GemsRa says, it's a bit to stage5clinger to come out within the first few weeks of dating and say you're mine and get matching tats.
@scorchedearth - it's been awhile! e-hugs...remember me from back in the crab days? 😉 pleasure to e-see you still around. i totally agree with what you're saying which is why i came here, but what i want and what i can expect are rarely the same. both trips had been planned for months, and demanding that those plans be dropped within a short period of time after meeting someone is definitely a bit on the extreme. he is dating, although not committed. he's allowed to do his thing and so am i until a commitment to exclusivity is on the table. dating is not committing. my geminian memememmeememe traits drive me batty because of course i want to be the priority 😛 one of the carnal rules of dating so you don't get your heart broken is to have a few pots on simmer instead of only one, that way if one of those pots burns out, you won't go hungry.
Posted by Rabbit
Argumentum ad passiones
She's not claiming to be depressed or upset or angry. She's asking about a guy she met two weeks ago.
Translation: I'm ok with being a bully unless someone clearly states the are clinically unable to handle it. My style and delivery are not up to interpretation and I will not take anything you say, GemsRa, under observation.
Duly noted dude.
P.S. I wasn't just talking about you in this situation.....
Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
My only issue is not that you have opinions, it's how you deliver them. You seem to have forgotten that words are extremely powerful. You seem to have forgotten that you have no idea who you are speaking to at any given moment.
You bully when you could advise. You use accusatory language when you could find a better way to word your thoughts.
This may be extreme, but have you ever considered the mental state of a female with whom you say something like this to:
You ever think about how that might affect a fragile woman? You ever think about the butterfly effect your words could have?
You ever known anyone to commit suicide? I have.
Words have meaning. Words affect people. It would behoove you to keep that in mind, specifically, when you are talking to a new, or less frequent poster when you have NO idea where they are coming from mentally or emotionally.
What a bunch of passive agressive bullshit. You want to have a fragile forum for those thinking about killing themselves, with mental issues start one, it may heal your own wounds that you clearly haven't addressed. If you have a problem with people's responses here, block them, stfu and get over yourself you fucking hypocrite.
Always lovely to interact with you LIB, clearly you too, are unable to even for a moment to question the way you interact with people.
Lovely to see how open YOU are to other peoples words when the spotlight is turned back on you.
Lovely to see how open YOU are to other peoples words when the spotlight is turned back on you.
Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
Always lovely to interact with you LIB, clearly you too, are unable to even for a moment to question the way you interact with people.
Lovely to see how open YOU are to other peoples words when the spotlight is turned back on you.
I have a disclaimer at my profile. I don't sugar coat nor will anyone try to force me to, let alone a fucking hypocrite.
At least my interactions whether judged good or bad are honest and consistent. I don't give a rats ass what anyone thinks of them either. You can spotlight all you want. I can honestly say what you see is what you get. Don't like the truth? Too fucking bad. Want to challenge it? I'm in. Want to condemn the truth? Be ready.
Friends with Benefits = YOU DON'T GET TO ASK QUESTIONS..YOU SPREAD AND KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT (unless he want's a blow job)
@scorpgal - agreed! this is definitely something that is on my mind and i need to decide what it is i want out of this.
@LIB - are you dispensing judgement or advice? the two are not the same...and i've been on these boards for a LONG time (old name wineaux??) and i don't remember you ever being like this.
@may31baby - appreciate the sweet sentiments but at my age, you have to try all of the shoes on instead of one pair only at a time, otherwise you'll find out that they hurt like hell and you shouldn't have committed to them so quickly.
@phoenixrising - trip 1 & trip 2 were planned months ago, had the timing been different then i may not have even had to pose this query. and i am super selfish and want exclusivity, because i am afterall, a gem...but itstooearlytoexpectit. we are still in the getting to know one another phase...i wrote what was coming out of my head rather than what my rationale should be thinking. :/ *smfh* oh, and in regards to the overdone dinner...i pride myself on my cooking and entertaining. i'm like martha fucking stewart and i've bragged so much that he wants me to put my money where my mouth is. so in true gem style , i'm going to go above and beyond to make my point. and please, if you know where i can score some of that 'slow down' shit you speak of, PLEASE, fortheloveofgod, tell me. i'm #desperate.
@sag89 - you made me spit out my coffee after reading that! hilarious...and thank you for response. it's spot on.
@mr bunny - we have both been honest and upfront about our current situation(s). we've hid nothing from one another, so i'm not quite sure how that makes him an ass. if he had just kept it all a secret or lied to me about where/who he was going with, THAT would make him out to be the ass that you are labeling him with. i neglected to mention that he requested to be the only option on my boiler plate...that's when i came back with the whole i'm not cool with what's going on here then and came to you guys. there will always be bits and pieces of the story that should have been mentioned and i take offence to being called easy, convenient, a person with no self-esteem, etc as i am NONE of those.
@LIB - are you dispensing judgement or advice? the two are not the same...and i've been on these boards for a LONG time (old name wineaux??) and i don't remember you ever being like this.
@may31baby - appreciate the sweet sentiments but at my age, you have to try all of the shoes on instead of one pair only at a time, otherwise you'll find out that they hurt like hell and you shouldn't have committed to them so quickly.
@phoenixrising - trip 1 & trip 2 were planned months ago, had the timing been different then i may not have even had to pose this query. and i am super selfish and want exclusivity, because i am afterall, a gem...but itstooearlytoexpectit. we are still in the getting to know one another phase...i wrote what was coming out of my head rather than what my rationale should be thinking. :/ *smfh* oh, and in regards to the overdone dinner...i pride myself on my cooking and entertaining. i'm like martha fucking stewart and i've bragged so much that he wants me to put my money where my mouth is. so in true gem style , i'm going to go above and beyond to make my point. and please, if you know where i can score some of that 'slow down' shit you speak of, PLEASE, fortheloveofgod, tell me. i'm #desperate.
@sag89 - you made me spit out my coffee after reading that! hilarious...and thank you for response. it's spot on.
@mr bunny - we have both been honest and upfront about our current situation(s). we've hid nothing from one another, so i'm not quite sure how that makes him an ass. if he had just kept it all a secret or lied to me about where/who he was going with, THAT would make him out to be the ass that you are labeling him with. i neglected to mention that he requested to be the only option on my boiler plate...that's when i came back with the whole i'm not cool with what's going on here then and came to you guys. there will always be bits and pieces of the story that should have been mentioned and i take offence to being called easy, convenient, a person with no self-esteem, etc as i am NONE of those.
Posted by LetltBPosted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
Always lovely to interact with you LIB, clearly you too, are unable to even for a moment to question the way you interact with people.
Lovely to see how open YOU are to other peoples words when the spotlight is turned back on you.
I have a disclaimer at my profile. I don't sugar coat nor will anyone try to force me to, let alone a fucking hypocrite.
At least my interactions whether judged good or bad are honest and consistent. I don't give a rats ass what anyone thinks of them either. You can spotlight all you want. I can honestly say what you see is what you get. Don't like the truth? Too fucking bad. Want to challenge it? I'm in. Want to condemn the truth? Be ready.click to expand
Cool, so a disclaimer allows you to be a raging jerk off. Sweet.
I'm a hypocrite? I've asked you time and time again to back up your crazy opinions of me. I've reminded you that all of my posts are public. Every. Single. One. And clearly you've read up on me. #pisces Can't say I'm not flattered, but I am still waiting for you to make me a hypocrite....
Consistent? Cool, do you. You don't even for a moment want to consider the old adage "you catch more flies with honey", that's all on you. I can almost guarantee you that your message, whether truthful or just plain bullshit, gets lost in your accusatory words though.
Posted by Rabbit
For me, if I've told you I wanted to be exclusive with you
This is SPECIFICALLY the conversation they haven't had..... so why would she expect him to cancel everything after two dates?
Posted by wineauxisback
@LIB - are you dispensing judgement or advice? the two are not the same...and i've been on these boards for a LONG time (old name wineaux??) and i don't remember you ever being like this.
If you didn't get the first post to OPEN YOUR EYES, then you missed the point and are in DENIAL. No matter how you spin your situation it's a FWB nothing more. I gave you advice on that. Deal with it and remember no questions are allowed in that situation. So yea..I gave you advice. Don't confuse yourself.
I remember you quite well. However, you clearly do not remember I DO NOT SUGAR COAT. I'll take it you've been reminded.😢
How are they FWB when they haven't slept together—? Shit, they have been on TWO dates.
@irresistablescorp - nah, we are both successful individuals that have equal positions in wealth/etc, but it sounds salacious! 😛 and my life is always an audtion...i'm in sales, it just goes with the territory. i seriously wish i had a more even keel approach at things rather than an all or nothing, but i'm not sure if i'd ever get the prize if i did 😢 point taken. and if him telling me about the trip came out the way you put it...KLATER. peace out. no way would i stand for that. it wasn't how it was stated.
@damnata - i guess i should preface that i said that from not just him but also myself. that what transpires on both of our ends shouldn't be discussed. i didn't mean it to exonerate him of any guilt but rather what happens in (fillintheblank) should stay there. i don't want to hear about his trip and i am sure he doesn't want to hear about whatever shenanigans i get involved in. neither of us want to hurt the other by saying damaging things...does that make sense? perhaps i worded it wrong...that happens. a lot. hence the 6 pages just on this one thread already. eek.
@gemsra - thank you for putting my head back on straight.
@mr bunny - of course i wanted to hear all of that! who wouldn't? swoon...but can't always get what we want. so let me turn the tables?? what if i came here and said hey, i met this guy 12/14 and went on our first offical date 12/18 and i'm leaving town on the 19th with this dude who is my landlord that i like on a friendship level, but he wants more. do you think it would be ok if i told the landlord to eff off and me pay for him to come on the trip? you know, we just met like a couple of days ago...do y'all think that's too forward/clingy/psycho? and then i'm going on another trip after xmas...should i take him on that too? do you think he might think i'm a stage5clinger? endscene. thoughts? because i should have kicked myself in the ass and asked myself this sooner.
@damnata - i guess i should preface that i said that from not just him but also myself. that what transpires on both of our ends shouldn't be discussed. i didn't mean it to exonerate him of any guilt but rather what happens in (fillintheblank) should stay there. i don't want to hear about his trip and i am sure he doesn't want to hear about whatever shenanigans i get involved in. neither of us want to hurt the other by saying damaging things...does that make sense? perhaps i worded it wrong...that happens. a lot. hence the 6 pages just on this one thread already. eek.
@gemsra - thank you for putting my head back on straight.
@mr bunny - of course i wanted to hear all of that! who wouldn't? swoon...but can't always get what we want. so let me turn the tables?? what if i came here and said hey, i met this guy 12/14 and went on our first offical date 12/18 and i'm leaving town on the 19th with this dude who is my landlord that i like on a friendship level, but he wants more. do you think it would be ok if i told the landlord to eff off and me pay for him to come on the trip? you know, we just met like a couple of days ago...do y'all think that's too forward/clingy/psycho? and then i'm going on another trip after xmas...should i take him on that too? do you think he might think i'm a stage5clinger? endscene. thoughts? because i should have kicked myself in the ass and asked myself this sooner.
Posted by GetMistedPosted by GemsRaGalsBestPalPosted by Rabbit
For me, if I've told you I wanted to be exclusive with you
This is SPECIFICALLY the conversation they haven't had..... so why would she expect him to cancel everything after two dates?
That's the part of the story they all failed to see past.
But it is a conversation they need to have before NYE.click to expand
It's not that I don't agree.... but why? If she's able to see it as just another date?
It's not like it's Valentine's Day—
They're gonna cook dinner together, watch the fireworks, share a kiss at midnight, have a sleepover (doesn't mean she'll put out), and then have NY's breakfast.
They ARE dating after all......
he did mr b (by the way, i had a rabbit called mr b and a current one called sir guinness von buttonhausen, so please take no offense 😛 )
he did and when i called him out on it later he said he said it when he was drunk and shouldn't have made such a black and white statement because it's not fair.
he did and when i called him out on it later he said he said it when he was drunk and shouldn't have made such a black and white statement because it's not fair.
Posted by RabbitPosted by GemsRaGalsBestPalPosted by Rabbit
For me, if I've told you I wanted to be exclusive with you
This is SPECIFICALLY the conversation they haven't had..... so why would she expect him to cancel everything after two dates?
Unless I'm reading incorrectly...she mentioned below that he requested that he be her only option.click to expand
Go back and RE-READ. She says she's a one person kinda gal. However, in this very thread she's realizing that trying to tie someone down prematurely is cray cray and squeezing the noose around someone only makes them run.
You can require that someone be true to you and lay down whatever that means to you.... but like she ALSO said she's remembered that she's not a spring chicken anymore and can't limit herself to one at a time until there's reason to.
Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
Cool, so a disclaimer allows you to be a raging jerk off. Sweet.
I'm a hypocrite? I've asked you time and time again to back up your crazy opinions of me. I've reminded you that all of my posts are public. Every. Single. One. And clearly you've read up on me. #pisces Can't say I'm not flattered, but I am still waiting for you to make me a hypocrite....
Consistent? Cool, do you. You don't even for a moment want to consider the old adage "you catch more flies with honey", that's all on you. I can almost guarantee you that your message, whether truthful or just plain bullshit, gets lost in your accusatory words though.
I take it you still didn't get that apology you demanded last week eh? 😭 Guess what? Your subtle antics and demand for me to deliver responses the way you'd like to see them isn't gonna happen either. Gonna have to deal with that too.
totally agreed mr b...and as we begin to lay all of our cards on the table, things like this will be addressed or be made transparent. the rose colored glasses will have to come off at some point. other than this specific situation, everything he has said he will do he has done. he's very consistent and follows through will all of his commitments (to me).
Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
How are they FWB when they haven't slept together—? Shit, they have been on TWO dates.
Posted by wineauxisback
we met 12/14 and immediately made plans for a first date the next week which was sublime. we have an electric connection and are never at a loss for words and seem to have a lot in common. sparks physically and he's definitely keeping up with my thirst for mental stimulation.
the day after our first date, he jetted out with a friend (that he has been physical with in the past) for a 4 day vaca that had been planned prior to. he insisted that it would just be platonic as he wasn't interested in her period...but that her feelings were different. sleeping arrangements were separate and he made sure to text me and included me in their conversations. at first i wasn't ok as i had no basis to trust him, but the amount of time he spent texting me and the things he said set me at ease.
Posted by wineauxisback
i guess my next question is what is dating then? don't people sleep together when they're dating?click to expand
Now we sit and wait for her to come back and say..oh, yea (7pages later) I didn't fuck him. Then I'll give my next response.
Rabbit - I absolutely didn't see that on this thread *goes back to double check* and still don't. However, it shows you were right on.... I will sssshhhhh now on all that.
LIB - It's ridiculous that you're still on that. Something that was done in JEST on the misc board as a hello, this is my return thread. It was silly and meant to be received as such.
You wanna keep being abrasive? Cool, but I will probably still stand up for people you bully because that's just who I am. You do you, I'll do me. Feel free to ignore me and continue to ignore my requests for you to back up your accusations, or continue ranting and raving. Whateves.... I'll respond approps whichever way you choose to trot.
LIB - It's ridiculous that you're still on that. Something that was done in JEST on the misc board as a hello, this is my return thread. It was silly and meant to be received as such.
You wanna keep being abrasive? Cool, but I will probably still stand up for people you bully because that's just who I am. You do you, I'll do me. Feel free to ignore me and continue to ignore my requests for you to back up your accusations, or continue ranting and raving. Whateves.... I'll respond approps whichever way you choose to trot.
Posted by wineauxisback other than this specific situation, everything he has said he will do he has done. he's very consistent and follows through will all of his commitments (to me).
He is very consistent. He's been telling you about the women he's going to "DATE". You just haven't opened your eyes to that yet.
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we met 12/14 and immediately made plans for a first date the next week which was sublime. we have an electric connection and are never at a loss for words and seem to have a lot in common. sparks physically and he's definitely keeping up with my thirst for mental stimulation.
the day after our first date, he jetted out with a friend (that he has been physical with in the past) for a 4 day vaca that had been planned prior to. he insisted that it would just be platonic as he wasn't interested in her period...but that her feelings were different. sleeping arrangements were separate and he made sure to text me and included me in their conversations. at first i wasn't ok as i had no basis to trust him, but the amount of time he spent texting me and the things he said set me at ease.
we decided that we needed to see one another again before xmas as the intensity was just building before his next trip (for the family xmas) so we had yet another date. again, it was lovely. here's where my quandry comes in. after xmas as in tomorrow, he leaves on yet another trip that includes someone he's currently DATING. this, again, was planned prior to me, however, this is a one bed date for 2 nights/3 days. i told him i'm a one person on the boiler plate kind of girl, but it's too soon to expect exclusivity, no? my words to him are whatever happens on this trip between you two i don't want to hear about as it could be damaging.
we have plans for nye together where i will be cooking a multi-course dinner in heels, a sexy apron & pearls and he's in charge of breakfast. is this just something i should deal with and not dwell on? i'd love to be in her place, but that is not possible. PS, she lives 2.5 hours away and i'm a few miles from his house. he talked about her and asked me, it's not going to work is it? the distance? i'm all for giving advice and all, but is he looking for validation from me or is this his way out?
i have a pretty ridiculous jealous streak...rawr.
thanks in advance my lovelies!