The break up thread

How do you other scorps out there get through a bad break up/divorce?

I'm separating from my husband (he's a cancer- do NOT get me started) after being together for almost 6 years. I've got my own place so I'm about to start packing to move out and I'm scared.

We don't have any kids so I'm on my own and I don't want to become a recluse and go into a dark place/depression. I don't have any family close by and I've said I'll keep busy and exercise etc but I know that it's easier said than done when your emotionally and mentally broken.

Been drinking a lot of wine to help me get by which isn't great lol, but I'd appreciate advice on what has helped any of you get through difficulties in life

Xo

Yeah drinking may not be the best idea, it's strangely therapeutic though (in the moment not the next day lol)... I keep in touch with my family and visit them often so I guess that helps. Keeping busy seems important not wallowing in self pity and pain, which unfortunately is what I tend to do in really difficult situations.. It sucks but thank you for the advice 🙂

I agree with Impulsv. It gets better. It's a healing process, it takes time. I'd put down the bottle though and find a healthier outlet if you can but it's your choice.
What's wrong with wallowing in self pity and feeling the pain? It's a complete roller coaster ride. Go through all those emotions and let yourself feel them. If you feel like shit one day and don't want to see anyone, then stay home and feel like shit..all day if you want... I think the trouble comes in when we try and run from our emotions
You'll be ok. It will feel good one day again. Hugz...it's not very fun

take things day by day. it gets easier in the long run. dont deny yourself to feel how you want to feel. you need that as a way to heal. keep your focus and move on. for every fearful or sad feeling take it in thoroughly, but then fill yourself with something positive. get to know yourself again and take care of yourself with little distraction from what you are breaking away from.

aaah break up. It's just very difficult. In my lowest low and darkest times in life. I usually read bible - it's healing. we are human. We need to cry it out to make us feel relieved and released emotional baggage we are holding on. You are afraid but Fear not. Be courageous and stay strong.
Adversary will define us as a person either it will ruin our life or it make our life even better. PM me and surely my story will make you smile.
Been there and done that.

Signed,

M

So what happened between you and the cancer man? the reason why I ask is I'm a Cancer man it seems to be a common denominator that Scorp Cancer relationships can be good or bad.

Posted by Lovable
I agree with Impulsv. It gets better. It's a healing process, it takes time. I'd put down the bottle though and find a healthier outlet if you can but it's your choice.
What's wrong with wallowing in self pity and feeling the pain? It's a complete roller coaster ride. Go through all those emotions and let yourself feel them. If you feel like shit one day and don't want to see anyone, then stay home and feel like shit..all day if you want... I think the trouble comes in when we try and run from our emotions
You'll be ok. It will feel good one day again. Hugz...it's not very fun

+1

Posted by M143
aaah break up. It's just very difficult. In my lowest low and darkest times in life. I usually read bible - it's healing. we are human. We need to cry it out to make us feel relieved and released emotional baggage we are holding on. You are afraid but Fear not. Be courageous and stay strong.
Adversary will define us as a person either it will ruin our life or it make our life even better. PM me and surely my story will make you smile.
Been there and done that.

Signed,

M

+2

and don't sink into details. i know some here may want you to spill personal info on your separation, but this is no one's business but your own. you went through it already so you don't need to relive it when you're trying to come out of it. starlover has a good point.

He's got some issues addiction sounds like one of them ya it was time to boot his a** to the curb you would end up getting physically hurt.

you can always hire a hit man. im just saying.....

Posted by MelEleven21
How do you other scorps out there get through a bad break up/divorce?

I'm separating from my husband (he's a cancer- do NOT get me started) after being together for almost 6 years. I've got my own place so I'm about to start packing to move out and I'm scared.

We don't have any kids so I'm on my own and I don't want to become a recluse and go into a dark place/depression. I don't have any family close by and I've said I'll keep busy and exercise etc but I know that it's easier said than done when your emotionally and mentally broken.

Been drinking a lot of wine to help me get by which isn't great lol, but I'd appreciate advice on what has helped any of you get through difficulties in life

Xo

So you are choosing to separate, you've gotten your own place, packing up and moving out ...no kids. Excellent.

Why is this so difficult? Most Scorps I know who are done...(including myself) move on with ease to be away from the difficulty.

Posted by MelEleven21

On a serious note though, I will divulge that the reasons for the demise in our relationship involves him having a gambling addiction and also anger, alcohol and emotional issues.

Yes there was abuse- physical and emotional.

He was cold and distant- would shut down when it came time to discuss important things. Very moody and attitude-y.

There was no middle ground with him. It was either no communication or a full blown argument.

Or he would be lovey dovey and caring or treat you like butter and you mean nothing to him. its been a struggle and there's been too much pain.

Like I said... what's so difficult about getting away from that^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^?

My Scorpio literally broke up with me this morning and I usually don't care but this one hurt like hell.
He said he didn't want be with me. I cried like hell. He was so cold about it and said I broke up with him months ago so now he's done.
Introducing me to his family, cooking for each other, spending all that time together and hanging out meant nothing? We were only seeing each other and I thought we were actually going to become official this weekend.
I honestly don't understand.

to become unattached from any worldly thing/ concept takes time. but with training, it is possible. i was taught as a child nothing lasts forever, and when you want something, you open yourself to suffering. suffering as you go through trials to obtain. the flaw of believing happiness comes from obtaining. then the great suffering after what/who you pined for is gone.

when people come into my life, i focus on the lessons the universe is trying to teach me. i know no one is here to stay, so i do not develop attachment. i take it for what it is, be it good or bad. when people leave, i dont try to hold on to them. they have their own journeys to travel in this life, so i have no claims to anyone. people are meant to stay in our lives only for so long. the only thing you can hold on to is memories because those are the keys to lessons, patterns, warnings, signs. open your third eye. what did you get from your lesson and how will you proceed in your next steps? you're being taught something, whether you know it or not. the more people refuse to learn, the more they will suffer the same patterns of grief.

Posted by LetltB
Most Scorps I know who are done...(including myself) move on with ease to be away from the difficulty.

Maybe she's not done. :/

Posted by Satorii

Posted by Montgomery
>Maybe she's not done. :/

Even when the head knows what it must do, the attachment the heart has forged is not normally broken overnight.

click to expand

I don't disagree.

I think everyone is not the same, and that the Moon will dictate

how one responds in these situations more so than the sun.

But Scorpio is often an anomaly. 🙂

I'm really glad that I found this thread, because I was actually planning on starting a new topic of my own. I'm going through something very similar. I just went through a very bad breakup with a Cancer three weeks ago. And I have found myself in a very deep depression ever since. I think for us Scorpios, breakups are harder on us than some other signs. We feel things to a very strong degree and so when we end up heartbroken, it's as if our worlds are turned completely upside down.

@MelEleven21 I'd like to talk to you and see if maybe we could both help each other out by writing one another. Some of my story is on the Cancer board, in case you're interested. It is the one with the title, "Heartbroken Again..." My story also involves my Cancer ex being an alcoholic as well. So we have quite a bit in common there and I feel your pain. 😢

Hey all,

Just a quick update... I know I've been MIA for a while but it's for a few reasons...

I'm still not with my ex- which I must say is a surprise even to me lol. Not only do I still not want to be with him but as each day goes by, this feeling is reinforced. Now I should be honest and say I have gone back so many times, after so many betrayals but for some reason this time is different. I've been keeping busy with work, family, and fun and although it is still early days I'm so sure that this is it.

I'm just taking it day by day, but I can genuinely say I'm HAPPY! I know there are more difficult days to come but I'm ready to continue down this road I'm on alone. I'm starting to feel freedom again.

And he is trying to worm his way back in but I'm having none of it!

It really does get better...

Mel x

Congratulations 🙂

Posted by Montgomery
Congratulations 🙂

Thank you! 🙂