The signs and FARTING

Which signs FART the most and which signs are ok with it the most, even in public? I say cancer, cause their tummies are always on edge plus they are dirty little devils too.

cancers cuz we're full of it

Capricorn farts are known to be badly deprivated and steady in effect for a long time. They kill you instantly and torture your dead body over long time. Rarely even bones leave.

Thanx, Haffo, this is the info I'm looking for. Keep sniffing , man!!

I didn't say it was my personal experience. Yet, I liked your sense of humour.

I think the sign which is the most ok to fart is Sagittarius. Then the sign who is farting a lot is Pisces, at least I happen to know a few of them.. lol

Virgo's fart is like a heavy pressured air passing through small space producing tiny sounds.

I Think Mister HAFFO in describing VIRGO farts must be pointing out the famed anal retentiveness and how it ruins EVEN their poor FARTS....LOL!!!!!!!

Funny....I posted this on the scorp board but haven't seen many eagles' responses. Guess they really do all have CONSTIPATION and don't want to admit they never can fart normally.

Alrighty....

My dad is a taurus so he sits & does nothing about the built up gas until it bursts out of him, which is usually over a minute long & steady.

My current Libra boy farts, but makes it friendly so as to not offend anyone

I'm an aqua so I always wait to be complete alone 1st

My mother is a virgo & after all my years of life, has not even spoken the WORD, let alone let one fly.

What is a scorp fart like?

I'm guessing loaded like a weapon? You probably fart AT ppl instead.

Aries: Farts like a bomb. But very short. Bom bom bom.

Taurus:

Gemini: Farts making tiny sounds. Biphasic. Always farts from two sources. Short and repetetive.

Cancer: Due to special farting style , people called it "Shitty Music". Most of Cancers have placed small electronic devices that detects incoming farts, mutes them and turns them into peaceful and lovely music. However, since the device cannot prevent the smell, people better call it "Shitty Music".

Leo: Farts deep and loud. Like march music. On the countrary, smell is not much...

Virgo: Either fart in tiny sounds or don't fart at all. Most of them undergo plastic surgery and close holes at all. It's still hoax how they shit out. Virgo women usually do two things for one when in surgery. They close their genitals too, this way they become virging 4evea! It's still not known how they get pregnant though...Another haox perhaps...

Libra: Normal fart.

Scorpio: Farts poisonous air. It's also known that their fart contains radioactives.

Saggitarius: Farts long.

Capricon: Well those folks rather fart. Not because they don't need it, but because they keep it inside. This way they don't shit. Which is for economy. This way they dont feel hunger. Altough, whenver they blast one, it's dissiminates even thoughest skin and bones. Nothing living will be left.

Aquarius: Aquarius fart sounds very radical. Most people misunderstood it with car horn.

Pisces: Pisces fart contains narcotincs that cause people dream. It also used as analgesics. It's still not fully known how they produce such farts, but scientist suspects sertain bacterias. Those bacterias cannot reproduced outside though. Their farst are the most likeable college students research material. A special Pisces baskets was made especially for these cases, which students use to collect those farst and shits. Most of them stalk behind Pisceans with baskets in ready waiting for incoming farts. It's rumored that pharmaceutical companies hire Pisceans for their shits and farts and exctract those materials for drug productions.

"Scorpio: Farts poisonous air. It's also known that their fart contains radioactives."

Thats about right yeah,I stink normally,good for house clearing when you want to be left alone.But my best fart was while running just cause it was outside and it was a really big fart but due to running at the time turned into a bunch of little ones....

"I'm guessing loaded like a weapon? You probably fart AT ppl instead."

I didn't know they were there and yes,I aimed my rear at an old couple once but again didn't know they were there until I turned around.

"I didn't know they were there and yes,I aimed my rear at an old couple once but again didn't know they were there until I turned around."

Did you gain some speed when you farted at them?

I knew it HAFFO....you've got one of those odd ball, high paying jobs they sometimes talk about on 20/20 or DIRTIEST JOBS. Haffo is a FART SNIFFER!!! How much does it pay, HAFFO?

Dude you don't even know what you miss. Do you know how much information you could learn about person from his/her farting style ? Even detectives are now taking this shit as evidence.

Dunno,just stuck my butt out the door and farted,then turned around to noticed em:S

.............rofl..........lmfao.........

now i remember why i like dxp.

This is by far the grossest posting. Ew.

i will have to go with aris on this one

LONG LIVE THE FART THREAD!! Let's raise this one from the grave & see if we can get some new posts

OK, I have a great fart story. My fellow server at work was in the men's room using the urnal and had to let one rip. He looked around, no one there so he worked it up and let it fly. He said it was loud and long. Just as he finished a man was next to him using the urnal next to him. He said he was so embarrassed (obviously). He just said "Sorry Dude", washed his hands real quick and ran out of the bathroom. Well, about 10 minutes later he got a new table. A man and a woman. Well, the man was the same guy from the bathroom he farted on!!! And he had to wait on him!!!!

HA-HA!!!!! That story always makes me laugh!!!