Virgo here, what does this scorpio want!?

Background: I'm 28, Virgo, he's 29, Scorpio. We've been dating for just over one year, we just moved in together this month.

There are a few big umbrella issues we've continued to have in our relationship over the last year that, at times, we make small progress on, but other's, it turns into world war 3. I will take responsibility in saying that I have a really hard time waiting out the silence of the scorpio after an argument. I am a head on kind of girl- let's talk it out and find a solution. Which, in turn, pisses him off more, he pulls away, I get insecure... and it's another turn on the marry-go-round.

Since January we have been talking about moving in together (moving out of my current place after my graduation was in my plans long before we started dating). HE initiated plans for savings towards this, HE has been the one to send me listings of apartments all throughout the spring, additionally HE made the choice to add me to his credit cards and car insurance. Don't get me wrong, I love it, I love it all but never once have I asked him for anything.

One week before move-in: huge argument about him still trolling on his ex gf. (They've been broken up now going on two years). It's not something I understood... he's very secretive and only tells me what he wants when he wants. He got mad at me bc I was honest when I said I had looked her up on fb before, he snarled at me that it was none of my business. So I said that I thought he was still in love with her and he laughed in my face and went to bed. So I got pissed and said maybe we should just cancel the lease then, just treetrunk it all. The next morning we had a lengthy talk about being together/moving in and going round and round. I said I do want to be with him and move in together. So we do.

One week after move-in: another huge argument. this time he was mad bc we were talking about going to this party of a girl I don't like. So I shared my feelings about her and he got pissed saying he doesn't have time for my drama- which I wasn't creating, we were literally just talking and then boom, he's pissed. Then, the next day, it's the same ol scorpio silence. No texting, no communication.

I got fed up and said that I don't like being ignored. It went into this whole thing of him saying "I think we're both thinking this but neither wants to say it" and I said that I didn't think he wanted to be with me, he returned the comment to me.

Round and round we go. I'm pouring my heart out saying how much I do love him and I am happy when we do x, y, z together. And he is saying that he doesn't think he is the right person for me, that I'm not happy. Then tells me "take it or leave it". After I spent that afternoon crying he comes home that night and we talk and I ask if he's in love with me, he says yes, that's not it. Then goes on to say that since he pays for everything I shouldn't ask for anything else (emotionally).

This last friday night: HE brings up his ex, starts telling me about the awful things she said. I listen, agreeing with him that what she said is absurd and disgusting. Then he tells me that when I had said about him still being in love with her, that night he didn't care if we broke up. Then he went out for a smoke, came back in and wouldn't talk to me-waved me away, slept on the couch. I went upstairs to our room, and just went to bed. I would typically be crying at this point bc it stresses me out so much, and all I want is to understand. I love him. I love him so much. I feel like I keep getting so many mixed signals from him, idk what he really wants. He woke up the next morning, came upstairs, crawled into bed with me. We had sex. Had a great day together, it's been great since then.

It's like, sometimes he seems so into this, then others, totally not.

Posted by mysteriousstargazer
Round and round we go. I'm pouring my heart out saying how much I do love him and I am happy when we do x, y, z together. And he is saying that he doesn't think he is the right person for me, that I'm not happy. Then tells me "take it or leave it". After I spent that afternoon crying he comes home that night and we talk and I ask if he's in love with me, he says yes, that's not it. Then goes on to say that since he pays for everything I shouldn't ask for anything else (emotionally).

This last friday night: HE brings up his ex, starts telling me about the awful things she said. I listen, agreeing with him that what she said is absurd and disgusting. Then he tells me that when I had said about him still being in love with her, that night he didn't care if we broke up. Then he went out for a smoke, came back in and wouldn't talk to me-waved me away, slept on the couch. I went upstairs to our room, and just went to bed. I would typically be crying at this point bc it stresses me out so much, and all I want is to understand. I love him. I love him so much. I feel like I keep getting so many mixed signals from him, idk what he really wants. He woke up the next morning, came upstairs, crawled into bed with me. We had sex. Had a great day together, it's been great since then.

It's like, sometimes he seems so into this, then others, totally not.

Jaw dropping. I'll let others expand on their answers, but maybe you should read the feedback that other people are giving women in regards to this same type of situation. I mean...hey, I get it, because my first Scorp man relationship snafu sent me through a labyrinth of confusion, because he came to my place and said we should break up...out of the blue and then when I patiently agreed while sitting up in bed drinking a beer...he complained. Hold on...have to start a new comment thingy to tell you about it. Geesh. smh

Ok, so about five years ago...lol Me and this Scorp hit it off and fell instantly for each other. Spent a lot of time together and after a brief phone call with one of his friends who basically put the idea in his head that while he was gone, I was off acting like I was single (Hey...I'm a Venus in Capricorn lady...aloof), he made an official appointment with me to have a "talk". He basically said that he felt that we shouldn't be together. I was sitting up in my bed drinking a Corona...took a couple of sips and said, "Ok." He started getting all of his things out of my house and I just sat there drinking my beer. He turned around midway through and was like, "That's all you have to say?" I said, "Yep" and took another sip. He sat down on the edge of the bed and was like, "Can I still contact you?" I tilted my head, thought about it and said, "Naw...I don't think you should." He then went into this thing about how he felt like I was being way to chill about the situation. So I said something along these lines:

"Look...you came here with your mind already made up. You didn't ask me for my opinion, feedback, or considered how I would feel. You already knew what you were going to say before it even came out of your mouth. Why would I say anything else? Don't you start trying to play mind games with me. Either you want to discuss it or you don't and you want to leave. At this point, I'm cool. I don't deserve you making a decision without me and then when I don't buck you, you start trying to act like I'M the problem. Nope...not going to do that with anyone, including you."

He finished packing his things. He asked me to allow him to contact me, I said that he could, but that I couldn't guarantee that he would get a response. He asked me for a hug. I hugged him and before he left, he said, "Why do I feel like I'm making a big mistake?" I said, "I don't know" and I shut the door behind him. Scorpio men are...smh....they're inconsiderate in a way. It's a huge character flaw and you have to know this and either accept it or break up with him.

You need to breath on your own. Have your own comfort zone that has absolutely NOTHING to do with him, because...you're going to need it.

Posted by Impulsv
What mans want the be with a women that he feels he makes miserable. This is the energy in essence he is getting from.
A man wants to feel like he can make his woman happy. So far all he's getting is all these fears from u.

Now I don't agree a man should put a live in gf any a cc card account or loan n as u said urself it comes with a high price. He told u u should not Ramirez any more needs when taken care of. It wrong for him to think that but guess what most men think this way. They provide for u n should be enough.

U planted the seed that he's still in love with ex. Maybe he is doubting or he doesn't want to deal with having to prove over n over n over he's done with ex. Point is he is n has been with u.

I feel like he needs to get off the high horse with the whole I provide, ask no more... the playing field isn't level right now bc I'm not working. But then what when I am? Then I'm aloud to ask for more? He says then he'll be more understanding.
He doesn't make me miserable by any means, time spent and invested is more important than any amount of money, and I love our time together. I do tend to get defensive at some things he says bc I take them personally when I shouldn't (I don't realize I'm doing it, unless he calls me out-which I appreciate and then drop it). I want a life and future with him more than anything, but we need to work together, not against eachother.

Posted by MsTeeq1974
Ok, so about five years ago...lol Me and this Scorp hit it off and fell instantly for each other. Spent a lot of time together and after a brief phone call with one of his friends who basically put the idea in his head that while he was gone, I was off acting like I was single (Hey...I'm a Venus in Capricorn lady...aloof), he made an official appointment with me to have a "talk". He basically said that he felt that we shouldn't be together. I was sitting up in my bed drinking a Corona...took a couple of sips and said, "Ok." He started getting all of his things out of my house and I just sat there drinking my beer. He turned around midway through and was like, "That's all you have to say?" I said, "Yep" and took another sip. He sat down on the edge of the bed and was like, "Can I still contact you?" I tilted my head, thought about it and said, "Naw...I don't think you should." He then went into this thing about how he felt like I was being way to chill about the situation. So I said something along these lines:

"Look...you came here with your mind already made up. You didn't ask me for my opinion, feedback, or considered how I would feel. You already knew what you were going to say before it even came out of your mouth. Why would I say anything else? Don't you start trying to play mind games with me. Either you want to discuss it or you don't and you want to leave. At this point, I'm cool. I don't deserve you making a decision without me and then when I don't buck you, you start trying to act like I'M the problem. Nope...not going to do that with anyone, including you."

He finished packing his things. He asked me to allow him to contact me, I said that he could, but that I couldn't guarantee that he would get a response. He asked me for a hug. I hugged him and before he left, he said, "Why do I feel like I'm making a big mistake?" I said, "I don't know" and I shut the door behind him. Scorpio men are...smh....they're inconsiderate in a way. It's a huge character flaw and you have to know this and either accept it or break up with him.

You need to breath on your own. Have your own comfort zone that has absolutely NOTHING to do with him, because...you're going to need it.

Wow... I feel like when we do have our conversations he definitely has it already mapped out, just as you said ab

Ooops it cut me off...

@MsTeeq1974
Wow... I feel like when we do have our conversations he definitely has it already mapped out, just as you said about yours already knowing what he was going to say/do without including you. But if I bring up an issue, that's when he gets very annoyed and pissy. Was the end for your relationship with him? I can deal with his "moments" if you will, but I can't be the target all the time.
I agree that having something that doesn't involve him is a good idea... And I do sense that he needs more of his own space/me time, it's very hard sometimes to part with spending time together when he works 60+ hours a week already. I don't like the back burner and think it's important to have specific time together also.

Posted by mysteriousstargazer
It's like, sometimes he seems so into this, then others, totally not.

the ex scorpio gf of mine was like this ,,,, as a virgo I know how hard is to undestand the scorpio sign , she got mad very fast and gave me treatment silence too when I just tried to find solution to problems . So I cant help you lol but i understand

Lol, thanks.