Your insecurities?

Ok, so lets have what I call a "Keeping It Real" discussion. What are your insecurities and how do you think they affect your relationships or how you approach your relationships? Lets have a little bit of conversation to actually uplift and help eachother...

You posted this in the scorpio forum.

Do scorps posses insecurites that can be identified by other signs? My experience is that they are masters at shielding themselves from exhibiting even a trace of insecureness. I'd say even going so far as to masking theirs, to resemble someone elses.

Southern, scorpios would rather die than tell you their insecurities offline. Do you REALLY think they would admit to any online?

As far as they are concerned, they are tough as nails. So I'll let you in on a little secret...a scorpio's biggest nightmare/insecurity is that you will know how he TRULY feels about you.

See, a scorpio in love is a mushy ball of emotions and they CANNOT hide these emotions. Oh, they'll try damn hard, dont get me wrong...they hide it with what they say...the famous sarcasm they throw at you...but it's impossible for them to hide it with what they DO. You have to be able to read the subtle signs.

You may wonder, why go through all this crap instead of just saying "I love you so much"...well...because that little piece of information is highly classified. He doesnt know what you're gonna do with it. You could, after all...break his tender little heart.

In short...scorpios have NO insecurities 😛

"You posted this in the scorpio forum."

lol...I know but this was NOT meant to be a "sign specific" thread. There is just such a wide range of individuals on this particular board and I just thought it would helpful for everybody to help eachother out instead of beating people down for their insecurities and how they end up in certain situations. It's all a reflection of what is going on deep down inside of us. I didnt really want to make this a Scorpio, Virgo, Cancer, Capricorn...ect...discussion. I would like for this to be a discussion about who we are as PEOPLE outside of our stereotyped "signs"...

Pfeh Southern...your posts are ALWAYS about scorpios...one in particular. So dont go and deny it...Ooooh, there you go...one of YOUR insecurities 🙂

Wow Sagigoat...scorpios pure? You're................in love. 😛

Or maybe you mean pure as in.......

...pure EVIL.

LOL. Don't worry, I'm just kidding.

"Pfeh Southern...your posts are ALWAYS about scorpios...one in particular. So dont go and deny it...Ooooh, there you go...one of YOUR insecurities"

This has nothing to do with that situation. My insecurities have nothing to do with him. They have to do with ME.

"However, this is just human behaviour and insecurities are a part of ALL of our lives! We just have to live with it as best as we can!"

True, we have to live with them. But we first have to acknowledge that they are actually there and then learn to adjust accordingly and make conscience decisions...

^^^ scorpios are an emotional mess. Half the time they cant even figure themselves out...which is ironic considering they are supposedly perceptive of human behaviour.

I just say...dude, get your act together !

my scorp expresses his feelings ALL the time. He tells me that he loves me everytime we talk or hang out.. and that he's afraid of losing me and such.. and whenever something worries him a lot, he cant help but call every hr talkin about his feelings , how worried and scared he is, etc. and says he cant sleep, needs to talk about things, etc. as far as insecurities, i think scorps are pretty confident about themselves and everything else around them. unless... he's hiding them well from me. i dont really see any "insecurities." just cant stop stressing about a problem when there is one.

^^^ Hey...I thought you guys had split up? Sounds like things are back on track then, hey?

Yeah the kling-on syndrome has hit him because you're supposed to be leaving for college or something right? Anyway, whatever it was, you were supposed to be leaving, if I recall.

Of course he's not telling you everything...they never do. He's telling you what you need to know. But the behaviour you describe above gko is like deja vu for me.

^^^ Hey, I'm sorry but unless you've had a scorpio man in your life for 20 years, I'd say leave me with my "act" ok?

Sure they can be sweet and all that fun stuff...but they can also be assholes...so yes, I get pissed off and I dont need to be humble when I'm pissed off.

I simple say it like it is. There are moments when my understanding is warranted and there are times when it's nothing but manipulation.

^^^ Hey, dont mind me...I'm just having a really bad scorpio....psssh...day.

Partners of the scorpio kind tend to do that 🙂

Yeah I'm sure with a Virgo there'd be much less of those crappy push/pull, cant let go of you, I own you, I'm friggin jealous, I cant lose you, I think I hate you...kinda games for sure. But Evan what about.................

:: whispers ::

...the sex ? 😛

"most people ACT very brave and strong BUT dont have a handle on how their insecurities are manifesting and most dont care if their insecurites are showing because they THINK that they have managed to hide it so nobody will know!"

Bingo .. so what's the point in attempting to start a conversation about them with this thread, since it's highly probable that everyone thinks they are being incognito? The only logical result will be denials.

How far past "that" can you go? Or, it is only possible to see "that" insecurities are present?

"Lets have a little bit of conversation to actually uplift and help eachother..."

How is it possible to help someone with an insecurity when the majority of the people think it's a problem of someone elses, and not their own?

What will be accomplished?

Analyzing the justification?

i noticed that if you find an insecurity of scorpio man by accident and somehow totally innocently you push on it they'll pretend that nothing happened and it's not an insecurity. but then he'll lash out on your insecurities when you the least expected. so, yes they have insecurities just like the rest of us and they deal with them as we all do. it's just they like to get nasty about it but not in an obvious way.

Evan, you know hubby dearest logs onto my dxp account every now and then...away with your flirtations or you might get a PM that says,

"I will hunt you down"

LOL

"with all respect but he seems like a bit of a control freak, does he have access to your personal email and stuff?"

Um...Evan...say it with me.

Sun = Moon = Rising = SCORPIO

Is he a control freak? Nah....LOL. I have left a zillion times...even packed my bags...because of that...didnt get very far.

If it wasnt for the fact that I've known him since we were toddlers...lol...ok that's taking it a little too far...but anyway...it's been long, I wouldnt be with him.

He's your typical scorpio...silent, brooding, extremely private, piercing blue eyes that draw a lot of women in until they find out he's not your most exciting of conversationalists...lol. He talks...actually never stops talking in the house...then take him out for a function or something that requires socialising and he's in "silent stalker in the corner" mode :: raises eyebrow ::

"knowledge and understanding is the first step towards acceptance...isnt it?!"

Of course it is, Simply Me .. however, most people don't acknowlege to even be able to work on an understanding. Thinking about insecurities is too negative of a human condition for people to accept ... people are inherently self-righteous in what they do because their fragile will get injured if considered.

So, intead .. people look for something outside of themselves to be the cause. In which case .. there's no point in trying to address something that isn't recognizable as our own issues.

people are inherently self-righteous in what they do because their fragile will get injured if considered

** ego .. thier fragile ego will get injured ..

Take the author of this thread, for example .. one of her insecurities, as she's alluded to on one of her other threads = seeks approval of men, stemmed from a childhood situation in which she's cannot for the life of her understand why another person cannot recognize her redeeming qualities.

Do you honestly think she's going to ponder that this is her insecurity?

Of course not!!! She's going to do what she's always done with this insecurity and put it off as the Scorpio's responsibility as if he should approve of her, for her to not feel this injury. He doesn't "feel" her the way she needs to continue hiding behind this insecurity .. so, she makes threads to ask .. what's wrong with him, why would he do this, why would he treat me this way, why won't he talk to me ... him, him, him ... this issue isn't him .. it's her.

She seeks her self-worth by having approval of men .. THAT is NOT anybody's responsibility to understand and deal with except her.

This has completely gone over her head .. why?

Because people don't recognize their own insecurities as being their own issue ... so, they look for an outside source as being the problem, then they attempt to reason-out why the other person has this problem with them .. which has no outcome except to be confused.

And 99% of people come in here to say they are confused. Why are they confused?

Because they are relying on someone outside of themselves to react/respond according to their own insecurity to fix it for them, or passify it for them .. in which another person cannot because it's not the other persons insecurity to even acknowledge it exists .. so how can they possibly say or do anything to appease?

Absolutely pointless topic, right here .... majority of the population don't have the courage to face themselves.

I really dont want to sit here and judge someone or write off someone because firstly its none of my business and secondly it will be awfuly pompous of me to take the high moral ground, when it is obvious that i too have many issues.

No doubt .. so, what's the point of the thread?

To start a topic saying for people to address their insecurities .. what do you think people are going to comment on? The weather?

If a person is to address their negative side with intentions of understanding it, then a responder HAS to address this negative side if there is going to be any aid .. if a responder addressed a different quality that was positive because they didn't want to offend or judge, then this is no aid to the person because the topic IS about addressing the negative.

So, for you to say you wouldn't want to judge another, then this would mean that your input into someones issue being addressed as invalid because the courage isn't there to tackle it, for fear of offending.

Pointless thread ...

^^^^ lol

Mata Hari: "Living with insecurities makes you 'conditioned' to witholding deep emotions from not only others, but yourself. This is what makes insecure people dislike themselves, which is the foundation of all insecurities.
Insecurities are self-destructive, and lead to bitterness and resentment - both of which are negative and pointless"

There comes a time when each of us are faced with evaluating our own insecurities and are forced to deal with them: Consider their manifestations, dwell upon their impact towards our life, and accept the reality that they must be overcome. To ignore them causes bitterness and resentment. To vanquish them leads to self-esteem and confidence.

While I admit to postponing this procedure for some of my own insecurities, my thought process accepts the fact that I'll eventually need to cowboy up to them. The ability to acknowledge your own insecurities is the single most important part of this procedure. What we choose to do after that is what makes, or breaks us.

P-Angel: I have to disagree with you there. I mean, yes I understand that there are alot of messed up people out there that don't want to deal with issues and stuff, but I think this is a positive topic to get the ball rolling.

I've noticed quite a few of the users on here seem to be quite open minded and mature for their age, and are interested in bettering themselves, learning more, evolving etc. So why not give us a chance to open up about ourselves, dissect and investigate the information, and learn a whole lot more about different types of people? I personally find it fascinating, and definitely a worthwhile topic of discussion.

Don't want to seem rude, but the last couple of weeks you've come across as being very negative on here (and not just in relation to southern t). Southern has acknowledged her own problems, so why not give her time to do what she needs to do to get past them. Acknowledgement is a major part of the healing process.

Looking within oneself, acknowledging your insecurities and weaknesses may not be the easiest thing to do, but generally speaking it brings about a positive change in one's life...How can that be a negative thing? It's the only way to go for anyone who wants to evolve and become a better person in this life, and it sure beats being stuck in the same old ruts and everything that accompanies it.

we all have insecurtities, its part of human nature.
If you don't have insecurties, you are either one of the followng persons. 🙂

(A) God
(B) Donald trump

I dunno, man.

I must have a "leave me be" aura about me or something when it comes to guys. All weekend, when out with the girlies, dudes were clowning me for looking like the bodyguard apparently, inquiring where I was from and all...

You can notice whatever you like, oddball .. it doesn't change the fact that this thread was put in place to talk about a negative topic, no matter how you want to justify it being a positive one.

What are my insecurities?

1. Someone not feeling the same way about me -- I'm very honest about my feelings and if I find out someone's been toying with my emotions, its enough to crush me. I'm not afraid of getting hurt because I know it will happen throughout my life, but until I get over that feeling, I'm not the best person to be around. Hahaha, if my old DXP buddy was around (SB), she would agree with this.

2. I'm fear the past, not so much the future. The future is going to come regardless to how much to try to stop it. You cannot stop time. Things that happen in the past can affect the future in the most significant ways.

3. I never want to be more successful then anyone else, never. Why? Because (at least from what I've seen) people look for ways to bring those who are on top down. I'm not talking about who has the most money, I'm speaking of popularity, beauty, etc.

Oooh, I looooove babies! I want to have tons and tons of babies.

"I am more terrified of having kids with the wrong woman, wrong in the sense that our marriage fails after kids are involved and we have to split."

Find yourself a bull...LOL. My solution to every scorp man's relationship issues.

Do I sound biased?

Me thinks not. 😛

I am more terrified of having kids with the wrong woman, wrong in the sense that our marriage fails after kids are involved and we have to split. I'm terrified about having my kids traveling in between houses to see their parents. I would like them to live in one home. If there is one thing that scares me, it would be that.

I knew it was something I forgot! Yes, I am afriad of marrying the wrong guy along with having children with the wrong guy. Oh my gosh, I am aware of the fact that I cannot stay with any guy after things go array -- even with children, there's no way I could put them through their parents troubles.

So yeah, I'm afraid of making decisions with the wrong guy ...

ever since i was very little i always felt like other people are always catching a glance at me. i literally feel like i'm on stage and that i am acting.
recently i kind of started thinking that maybe it's because ever since i was a baby my mom and dad (mostly my mom) constantly video taped every aspect of my life. they even sometimes stood behind me playing and recorded me. there are so many videos of me and my childhood and i remember when i was little that i would sometimes look behind me to see if they are recording me.

i feel that i kind of still carry this paranoia around other people and think that they are watching me constantly, although sometimes i find that some people do.(depends). In this sense i have developed a fine ability to watch myself from other peoples point of view when i was younger and have very acute peripheral vision(lol). this concern has gradually faded as the years went by now as i matured a little.

well there's my insecurity that i don't really mind sharing...
-leo is my sign

"ever since i was very little i always felt like other people are always catching a glance at me. i literally feel like i'm on stage and that i am acting."

M.E....I have dealt with this exact same feeling all of my life. And it gets really bad if I am out around lots of people. And I sometimes avoid eye contact because I don't feel like being "on stage" that day. It's a constant feeling that I stuggle with DAILY. And this "perceived" or imagined feeling makes me feel like I have to say and do EVERYTHING perfectly or EVERYBODY is gonna see me mess up.

Wow....I thought I was the only one dealing with this. Thanks for sharing that with us.

and oh yeah...I know for a fact that feeling of being "on stage" affects my potential new relationships with guys. I know that feeling is causing me problems and it's killing some of those connections because I get so uncomfortable sometimes.

Wow I have experienced the opposite of what most say about scorp males. They are pretty upfront about their feelings. They actually say the "I love you" word pretty soon in my experience, but it isn't just the words you have to feel the sincerity. It can become an obsession for them. I feel it is hard to balance the love and obsession because it is guided by so much emotion. It is true they have to trust you to tell you this and they don't share their feelings with just anyone.

They want you to know everything and to know everything about you when they are into you period. They don't hold too many secrets when they love and trust you. Same for us scorp girls. If we say we "love you" know we mean it with all our being or we will never say it.

I am not trying to sound like the typical scorp, but I don't really have any insecurities but I don't think I am perfect. However, my imperfections don't make me insecure. I just know I am still growing or still need to work on some things, be it physically, mentally, personality issues, or even spiritually.

eheh, i can see this as a common thing among many people, southernt. nice to know i'm not alone in those experiences.

""Motherhood changed me. Changed me completely. I have become if i dare say, atleast 20 times more focused and responsible. My heart has just opened up in the most wonderful ways. ""

- Awwww, that's so heart-warming to read, Simply. 🙂

anotherscorp

My mom used to tell me that I belonged to another family as well. She thought it was hilarious. I would cry my eyes out, begging her not to let the authorities come and take me away, as promised.

My aunties do that to my little cousins too, when they misbehave.

I hold no resentment though. In retrospect, it was funny. Still, I'd never do that to my kids. I remember the feeling, and it was dreadful.

I dunno, man.

I must have a "leave me be" aura about me or something when it comes to guys. All weekend, when out with the girlies, dudes were clowning me for looking like the bodyguard apparently, inquiring where I was from and all...

That usually happens to women who look like men...you know butches LOL