Being a little smoothered by a Female? Any ideas?

I recently befriended a the new girl at work (yup, she's Taurus. We clicked instantly in terms of conversation. I like talking to her, but now she wants to eat lunch every day-- and she suggested that we hang out on weekends. Just the other day she opened up to me about a relationship she was currently having trouble with. I felt a little uneasy, because I thought maybe she was offering up WAY too much information-- considering we've only been talking to each other for about a month or so-- and we are still co-workers.

Although I enjoy her company, I don't necessarily want to eat lunch with her every day... as a matter of fact, the last time I said, "no", she seemed a little upset. She didn't throw a fit or anything, but she kept everything she said to me down to one-word answers for the rest of that day.

Anyway, I like her enough to want to remain friends, but I'm not sure on how involved I want to be because (1) she's a co-worker, and (2) we still just met. Anyone have any ideas on a nice way to keep her at arms length-- at least until I'm ready to be that "close" ?

Hi Seizetheday........you are in a predicament similar to my own just at the moment....I have a good pal.....she's cancer....but of late, she's taken to ringing me every day and texting and wants to spend her whole weekends with me - she's a good pal, is very open with me but still....there's beginning to be a bit of a cling-on-ish feel to this and I am getting a little panicky too. It's getting to the stage at weekends where if I get a text, I almost hold my breath as I open it, hoping it's not her!!!!

For instance, I said i was going to a concert last week with my other friend whom she has never met!! and she immediatley said, oh if I had known, I would have come along too.....(but I want to spend quality time wiht my other pal too without cancer girl).....and then it became twice as complicated as she started seeing a cousin of my ex Mr. Virgo and was everywhere with us....but that's over now.

Anyway, all I can suggest is that maybe you get a few "manufactured" phone-calls to your phone when she's nearby....ie. just before lunch of friends asking you to go out for lunch etc. and othes asking you to be with them at the weekend...you could say you are going away to a weddding one weekend!! or staying in a cousin's another!!.....I know it's a fib but she seems a sensitive creature and a steam-roller "NO, I don't want to be with you 24-7", might hurt too much.....on the other hand, if she's not getting the message.....you will just have to spell it out nicely to her...and me too I have got to be more assertive and say no to Ms. Cancer!!

A x

thanks for your reply Alana, and good luck with your friend (Ms. Cancer)

True, "FINE!" usually means, "I hate you and I hope you die a miserable death!!!"

Oh and I have an update...
She comes into my office and talks me to death for a nice hour. I tell her that I had some phone calls to make and she says, "Great, I'll come back around lunch!!" I tell her I'll be working through lunch and she says, "oh", and spins around and walks out of my office.

Later that day, I walk past her desk and she says, "I hope you enjoyed your lunch.."-- But sounded really surly and dry (or maybe it's me).

It's like having a girlfriend or something (not the platonic kind). All I need now is for her to drag me shopping so she can try on clothes and ask me if she looks fat in them.

Ok.. maybe I'm over reacting.

We hit a new spot on Friday. We sat and talked for hours about this guy she's dating. He's a real piece of work, and even though I wasn't entirely comfortable about hearing "all" the details, I was happy to lend an ear. I think, in the beginning, it was just too much too soon, but I guess I'm over it. Thanks for the advice everyone.

-sTD