Bull/Crab, WTH is he trying to say..

After reading many posts on here I see there is a pattern with a lot of Taurus men!
The Bull I'm writing about is confusing me to no end.

I'm a Cancer and have known this Bull for two years. I only see him every few months as he is my mechanic. When I first met him I was married and he was in a long term relationship. I've liked him as a person from the first time I met him, he is honest to a fault and a very friendly happy guy. Every time I'd drop my car off to him we'd end up talking for hours about cars etc. We have a shared interest there.

Around this time last year, both of us are now single, and my car goes in for a routine service. As usual we talk endlessly about cars and he invites me to come see him at a race event. I had such a great time at the race and thought I was picking up vibes from him.. but couldn't be sure. It's so hard to 100% trust your intuition in matters of the heart. Anyway after that we go on with life until the next time my car needs some work. Same as last time, I'm picking up on some very subtle vibes from him. There's just something about the way he looks at me when talking, it's not a death stare but he definitely lets his gaze linger and he has 'that look' in his eyes. He'll say things like "I get you" and "I'm the same" when I'm describing a passion in my life. We think the same way about many things. He asked if I'd help him with setting up a small event he was hosting and seemed very happy when I said yes. But no clear moves were made... as usual lol.

So I saw him again last week and he had that look again. We hung out at his garage for a couple of hours just chatting in general. I do feel very comfortable talking to him, like I've know him my whole life yada yada.
He did have another customer to deal with when I was about to leave. I gave a wave and a goodbye to him when he was in a back room, said a quick thanks and left to go get my car. As I was in the parking lot he came running out saying he hadn't said goodbye properly! Ok then, cool. So he gives me a great big bear hug and 3 times said he had to go back in, but kept finding things to talk about. Eventually he goes and I am sitting in my car all confused trying to read his signals.
I guess this is a typical Bull going through the testing phase and seeing if a potential interest in worth it?!? I'm not sure if I'd ever make the first move without more solid signs from him. He gives off lots of vibes, but what if that's just wishful thinking on my part?

touching is important. he def seems into you. maybe just slow to take action. your touch will probably help with that. that and a phone number. cant make him do all the work 😉 if you reciprocate the interest, show him.

bulls understand and appreciate the direct approach.

Ah, that is about as loud as it gets. If you leave it be it only goes downhill from there. You have your signs.

To him he is already making it obvious, believe me 😉

You must surely be a very interesting and attractive young woman.

LOL 40 is young, I can't wait to get older and hopefully wiser as I age.

July here's a few suggestions that may or may not help but if I were you I'd stop standing around for hours and hours communicating with him and I would also stop helping him and following him around when he has an event because the behavior can TRANSLATE over as you being desperate. I am not saying you're desperate okay but I am saying that sometimes what we women do can TRANSLATE over to a man as too available and he'll stall and stall and stall. You're investing emotionally with a man that is kind of stalling and that can lead to a painful experience for you.

The next time you see him cut the conversation short. You can always say to him something along the lines of I love talking to you, you're interesting and I'd love to pick this conversation back up again so if you're available all you have to do is ask me for your number/contact information, I'd be happy to hear from you.

If he suggest you help him or if he suggest you come see him, let him know you're busy but tell him "I'd like to see you soon so if you ask me out I'm sure I would say yes to that".

This way you're not chasing him with your energy nor following him around and you're making it interesting for him and at that point you've made it clear you're available and ready to date without being overbearing about it. The ball is in his court and you can lean back and see if he'll come and get it. If he doesn't he's not that into you and if he does well you're on your way possibly to a new erlationship.

^^^

Good post with a good plan of action!

Thank you tiki!!

Yes, 40 is still young.. I like to think so anyway 🙂 The Bull I'm talking about is younger than I am, but that seems irrelevant to me.

I did see him today, wasn't able to use your advice and split as he was working on my car so I was kinda stuck there. I'm not sure if anything will ever progress in a romantic way, but we do have very good chemistry and both seem to very much enjoy each others company. I left feeling energized and happy. I don't know what it is about him, but he's so easy to talk to and we never run out of things to say. He did ask if I'd "accompany" him to an event next week and seemed very keen, asked me about it a few times.
I even stepped out of my comfort zone and initiated TWO hugs lol. That is so not my style, I tend to be very careful about dishing out contact, but hey gotta live it up once in a while 🙂 He gives great hugs BTW!

There was also talk of maybe working together. He's looking for a new hire and I might just be a good fit. We'll talk more about that next week as it would be a new venture for me, but in an area that I'm very interested in. He'd have to train me from scratch, which could be a good thing in the long run.
Anyway, I'm more than content to just let things unfold slowly, naturally and without trying to play any mind games. I just can't do games.

Posted by tiki33
LOL 40 is young, I can't wait to get older and hopefully wiser as I age.

July here's a few suggestions that may or may not help but if I were you I'd stop standing around for hours and hours communicating with him and I would also stop helping him and following him around when he has an event because the behavior can TRANSLATE over as you being desperate. I am not saying you're desperate okay but I am saying that sometimes what we women do can TRANSLATE over to a man as too available and he'll stall and stall and stall. You're investing emotionally with a man that is kind of stalling and that can lead to a painful experience for you.

The next time you see him cut the conversation short. You can always say to him something along the lines of I love talking to you, you're interesting and I'd love to pick this conversation back up again so if you're available all you have to do is ask me for your number/contact information, I'd be happy to hear from you.

If he suggest you help him or if he suggest you come see him, let him know you're

Sounds all good. Caution though, working together might be a but much. As much as we can be likable (lovable) we can be cruel and unforgiving. Seeing each other that much is sure to ruin the feelings and bring about some nasty experiences.

I would love to work with my SO but know way better than that. She knows some of my demons, surely don't want to lose her to all of them lol

Posted by busyeyes88
@OmagaIII. What makes you say 'young woman'?!!! Lol

hahaha. it's ok busyeyes88.

It's good to feel young.. as we get older.

Posted by OmagaIII
Sounds all good. Caution though, working together might be a but much. As much as we can be likable (lovable) we can be cruel and unforgiving. Seeing each other that much is sure to ruin the feelings and bring about some nasty experiences.

I would love to work with my SO but know way better than that. She knows some of my demons, surely don't want to lose her to all of them lol

Lol.because Taurus men are very insecure - I can't even understand that feeling.

Yes, I agree, as Omag mentioned, I urge you to be consciously cautious. Listen to the male Taurus.

Chemistry FADES with familiarity and then you're standing there with a real human being with real flaws. Do not base reality off of the chemistry you feel.

You're going down the "being casual" lane and it's a bit of a danger zone.

You really need to clarify for YOURSELF if his suggestion to accompany him is a date or is a friendly outing. It's important

Although I'm married I had similar experiences before I met my husband so yeah I've been in your shoes, hell lots of women are in your shoes this very moment.

The fact that he's passively avoiding clarifying if you're his date and all the other gray zone behavior could come back and bite you in the ass later because you'll be the one building this chemistry thing up, hoping, wishing, and he's just being a guy that is enjoying being single and enjoying the feelings but not thinking much past that.

You'll regret not setting a few boundaries and allowing this to go on for months.

How many times do you go to this mechanic? Seems you're there a lot. How much money are spending going to this auto repair shop?

So take up his offer to join him. If he's acting like a friend/being friendly please save yourself and move on, don't drag this on any further or you're just going to stay in the friendzone--the zone of nowhere.

If you were spending money at my shop I'd lead you on too, keep the money flowing LOL....Jus kidding but there may be a small element of truth underneath that LOL

+1 INTJ

Posted by OmagaIII
Ah, that is about as loud as it gets. If you leave it be it only goes downhill from there. You have your signs.

To him he is already making it obvious, believe me 😉

You must surely be a very interesting and attractive young woman.

Better make a bold move July.
Strike the iron while it's hot...

Or you will be writing a "Why do Bulls go Hot & Cold" thread.

Thank you for all for the advice and insight!

Tiki: I must say that he would never do unnecessary work on my car just to bring in business. He's very honest and has advised against having some work done in the past as it just wasn't needed at that time. I know enough about what my car needs and would know if he was —creating?? work. He doesn't operate that way at all. He has gone out of his way in the past to find parts at lower cost etc.
I only go to his shop every few months. Prior to this last visit I hadn't been there since Sept 2014. The visit last week was for diagnostics (no charge). The visit this week for regular scheduled maintenance.
We go months without seeing each other and then just pick right up where we left off again.

I would say that his invite to the event next week is as friends. His signals are ever so subtle and I'm not going to over read into anything.
He did say that he really enjoyed my company and had a good time hanging out on Monday in a text that evening. I think we make great friends and very simply enjoy spending time together. I straight up tell him that I love talking with him, we always have so much to say.. hours begin to feel like minutes lol.

I??ll talk more about the —work?? idea with him. We both need to think about what is needed and if it's a sensible plan or just a plan that seems like a great idea right now.
I have worked with SO??s in the past (totaling 12yrs) and never personally had issues with that as I'm passive, not a push over, by nature and just —get along?? with everyone in a work environment. Those relationships went south for other reasons (both Libras.. never again will I date a Libra, they know how to really hurt and neglect a Cancers delicate heart).

Anyway, I'm going to take things as the come with this Bull, I'm not in any hurry to make moves (or no moves) until I suss things out a little better. If waiting a little longer results in being too late then so be it. I'm a big believer in waiting until I feel the time is right or not. At this moment in time I don't really have a clear view of where this is going and am not ready to force things along.
You Bulls aren't the only ones who can move at a snails pace!! 😉

Oh you're a Cancer, this explains everything, never mind.

No disrespect towards you but I typically try not to give insight to Cancers because it's pretty pointless.

Good luck though, I mean it.

Posted by tiki33
Oh you're a Cancer, this explains everything, never mind.

No disrespect towards you but I typically try not to give insight to Cancers because it's pretty pointless.

Good luck though, I mean it.

Thank you for the good luck wishes!

No disrespect taken on my end.

Posted by TaurusBull1977

Posted by OmagaIII
Ah, that is about as loud as it gets. If you leave it be it only goes downhill from there. You have your signs.

To him he is already making it obvious, believe me 😉

You must surely be a very interesting and attractive young woman.

Better make a bold move July.
Strike the iron while it's hot...

Or you will be writing a "Why do Bulls go Hot & Cold" thread.

click to expand

LOL.

Posted by tiki33
Oh you're a Cancer, this explains everything, never mind.

No disrespect towards you but I typically try not to give insight to Cancers because it's pretty pointless.

Good luck though, I mean it.

No just disrespectful toward an entire zodiac sign.
Usually you give good advice but I see you have yet to overcome immaturity.