HELP Virgo Woman w/ Taurus Man! **LONG**

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TheAffectionOfAVirgo
@TheAffectionOfAVirgo
16 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 7 · Topics: 1
Hi everyone, SORRY IT'S SO LONG BUT I FIGURED YOU NEEDED SOME BACKGROUND IN ORDER TO HELP. PLUS I'M A VIRGO AND DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT :-)
First let me say that when I met my Taurus in Dec2008, the song "At Last" literally played in my head for about a month! So here's the story: We met Dec2008, started dating shortly after. Everything was cool. In Jan sometime, I sensed that we were getting too close for his comfort and he started doing the typical Taurus disappearing acts. Then went so far to tell me that he just wants to be friends. I gave him that, and he freaked out and decided that he worded it wrong. Out of that conversation, we finalized that we were dating exclusively. Fast foward, Feb comes and the disappearing acts become way to annoying for me and I call him on it. I asked him if he wanted me to leave him alone because I felt like he was trying to push me away, and he said NO NO NO. He was back on track for about a week. THEN distance continued began again and yep, you guessed it, beginning of March, we had a chat. He opened up for the 1st time and said that he liked me and was really feeling me and sometimes he might fall back because sense resistance on my part. Well by the end of the conversation, he said he would try to do better and call me more often, and try to see eachother at least 2 times a week. He said it was a very productive conversation and he's glad that we had that talk...fabulous huh?! He stayed the night a few days later, then the next day I found out he was dating someone else and I ended it. Would not have been so pissed had we not had that conversation at least 3 times before. He didn't deny it, only said he didn't know what I was talking about. A week passes by, no contact at all between the two of us. Then this morning (exactly a week later) I wake up and see a text from him that he had a great dream about me last night. We've texted back and forth a bit about his son's bday tomorrow, but that's about it. QUESTION how should I proceed with this? Obviously I don't want a liar. However, I do absolutely adore him but if he can't get it together I have no problem letting him go. We haven't said anything about it yet, but it's only so long before my Virgoism kicks in and I'm asking questions and expecting solid answers as to why he lied to me! I'm thinking that I will fall back and if he wants to make the effort, then he will but I don't want to give anymore of myself until I'm sure that he's forreal
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TheAffectionOfAVirgo
@TheAffectionOfAVirgo
16 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 7 · Topics: 1
Starfish, I agree. He seems pretty confused and contradicts himself on a regular basis...so I guess there's pretty much NOTHING that I can do with that at this point! I would not have been as angry if he had told me that before because at least I would have expected it and not been so surprised. My thing is...why bother contacting me again? I gave you the out, made it simple, short, and easy and virtually pain free! No big argument, no name calling, not even one exchange of curse words! I told him that I hope he finds whatever it is that he's looking for (or not looking for, for that matter) and to take care. I can do without him and definitely don't need him in my life, but I would like to have him in my life. But I'm not tolerating a man lying to me (especially when I've given him more than 1 opportunity to tell the truth)..I can deal with a lot, but not that.

Laydback....looks like Operation "Fall Back" is in full effect! I won't be a total beeyotch and ignore him and not respond when he texts/emails or whatever form of contact he tries to make. But I will make absolutely no effort to make anything happen and see what unfolds. I know he's a bull and all and they're notorious for their stubbornness...but he definitely met his match with me! I figured he'd break after not hearing from me for a week since I'm normally the one that smooths things over, but I REFUSED to make any contact this time.

Thanks guys!
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Hotgal78
@Hotgal78
18 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 447 · Topics: 45
IMHO I think that he is testing you to see how much he can get away with....If you do not stand up for what you want and believe in he will take advantage of you and use you; then discard you when he wants to be with someone else seriously....Depending on your deicison he will categorize you....He will see if you are the type of woman who will accept the fact that he is seeing other people altho you two are supposed to be exclusive (and give you scraps in return to satisfy you) or like Star said, wake up and realize he would be letting go a good woman if he proceeded with what he ws doing....Either way you decide what impression you want to leave him with....


If you do decide to continue at this point, as it is so early on and there is no solid foundation to your relationship he really has no incentive to change his behavior to give you the meaningful exclusive relationship you desire.....

I'm just saying to show him, like you said that you do not need him (if that is truly how you feel.....He lied to you....It is still VERY EARLY on in your relationship to deal with such situations as far as fidelity goes, especially since you had the exclusivity talk.......Sometimes these things happen to prevent us from going further so we do not set ourselves up for additional hurt, confusion and misfortune.....

"I'm thinking that I will fall back and if he wants to make the effort, then he will but I don't want to give anymore of myself until I'm sure that he's forreal"

What do you wanna do?....Regardless of what effort he makes you have to decide what you want.....Whatever you decide, make sure you stick to your guns.....If you say you are done, be done and keep it moving forward....Because this guy, just like any guy regardless of sign will test the waters to see how much he wwill be able to get away with....

Good luck to you whichever way you chose!!!
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TheAffectionOfAVirgo
@TheAffectionOfAVirgo
16 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 7 · Topics: 1
Hotgal, well I'm definitely not going to an "option" and will not be involved with him if he's seeing other people...that's out of the question for me. Been there, done that, not interested in doing it again! As for needing him....definitely DON'T need him. It's only been 3 months and a half months. I like him and all, he's a great guy (outside of this topic), he's very affectionate which I love, and we get along great...but honesty means more to me than all of that so I have no problem letting it go. Sure, it's hard in the beginning, but I'll get over (like I always do!). As for what I want?? Well what I don't want is a liar but I'm not opposed to having him around as a friend. I could have him in my life as a FRIEND and be fine with that because I don't hate him, I'm not even mad, just disappointed that he didn't have enough respect for me to be honest. But if I do continue to involve myself with him, it will be on a friendly basis (no "benefits" allowed!) and wouldn't plan on being in his company and seeing him much, just talking every now and then. And if I decide that I would like to try again later, then maybe I will...if not, then I won't.