How do you know when you're in love?

As I've mentioned on other posts, I have trouble with mushy emotions. I'm VERY sentimental and sappy but have a pretty tough exterior. I mean, I'm the first to cry at a movie, a tv show....hell, a commercial if it's sentimental. At times I feel like Adam Sandler's character in Reign Over Me (long but great movie if you haven't seen it). Sometimes the emotions are so great that I avoid them or I deflect with humor (learned that from my Leo mom).

I know a lot of this has to do with elements in my chart but it's been so long since I was actually in love (vs. lust) that I can no longer recognize it. I got VERY disillusioned after dating an aqua years ago and haven't been able to view a relationship in anything more practical terms since. Right now, I see it as a contract between two people. When changes are needed, you both initial to affirm the changes and if not, the contract is over 😛

So my question is, how do you know when you're in love?

In your past relationships, who said "I love you" first?

Do you find yourself falling in love easily?

How many of your mates have you lived with?

I know I am in love when I cannot see past not being with that person. The one, the only. I do not see other men in that fashion, only him. When he feels like home.
In past relationships, he said I love you first. I guard myself in that aspect, defense mechanism. I want to be sure.
I tend to fall in love carefully, but once I am there, there is no going back. I'm there 110% .
Never lived with a mate of the opposite sex. Always has been a female friend or a family member ( early days ), then with a fiancee, then alone, then with my husband. Still in this house ( alone again ) until it's sold.

@venusian, that's pretty much how i feel. sorry to hear about your divorce and the situation with your house. hopefully the housing market will pick up soon.

i think one of the reasons why im guarded is because i fear failure in a way. now, i try to look at it differently...it's just a new beginning that's free and clear of drama. it still takes me a while to get over breakups but i think by being a smarter going in, i don't have to worry about falling so hard and it's much easier to walk away from situations that aren't working.

@purpledot, i know what you mean about the different forms of love. eros, phileo and agape. agape is eros and phileo combined..along with some other stuff. unfortunately, i've only ended up with one or the other. a friendship that was based on unconditional love. or a romance that was based on unconditional love. but never both at the same time 😛

phileo (brotherly love) is easy for me. i'm much more comfortable around guys. they're pretty easy to understand and once you make it clear that this earth girl ain't easy, everyone relaxes. because of this, i can be pretty chummy with the guys i date and doing the girly girly stuff isn't my style . i was never the type to giggle or bat my eyelashes uncontrollably and sometimes, i wish that type of stuff came more naturally. i don't play coy well. if i see someone i like, i just tell him i think he's hot and it usually goes from there.

so i hope to get to a point where it easy to say i love you first like purpledot but not make light of it. i think guys that have been interested in me would like me to take the situation a little more seriously and i'm tired of being told i'm mean because i don't validate their emotional...stuff.

lol...i'm just thinking about my past influences and the aqua taught me that i love you can be retracted. the leo taught me that emotion is much ado about nothing. what am i gonna learn from the aries...i can't wait *sigh*

He's been gone creeping up on a couple of years now, the house is the final contingency. Gotta love that no-fault. NOT. I was crushed at first, now I'm alright. It was a long road. 🙂 Thank you though.

Posted by purpledot
tubby, what i meant with my love being light is not that i am playing with the guy, i just see it that my love for him is in a different level, i don't string him along because i also tell him that my feelings for him haven't gotten deeper yet, or fully blossomed that only time and chance can tell how deep and how far it will go through.

i apologize...i didn't mean to imply you weren't taking it seriously. i meant that i do. even when i say it, even if it's weeks/months after he's said it, i don't REALLY mean it. it's just i felt like i couldn't stall any longer 😛

Posted by venusianbull
He's been gone creeping up on a couple of years now, the house is the final contingency. Gotta love that no-fault. NOT. I was crushed at first, now I'm alright. It was a long road. 🙂 Thank you though.

well, i think everything happens for a reason and you have a great attitude about it. i see so many women getting out of situations and throwing in the towel. i have so many women in my family who i swear, i haven't seen them with someone for years. it's like they don't want to risk anymore.

and then i have friends who are my age and some are happy, others will tell you straight out, "you're lucky. i wish i would've waited." to a single chick aint a damn thing about that comforting! so you're saying that i could be in love and get married, have a relatively stable relationship and be miserable?!? well hell, what's the point then?

i think the word carries far much more power for me than for most people. i didn't hear it growing up and it wasn't until i went to college that my family as a whole started saying it. and that's not to say that we didn't love each other. everyone in my family is a sensitive, sappy, mess. i simply come from a long line of hard-asses 🙂 i can count on one hand the number of times i've seen the adult members of my family weep. and that includes my mother's funeral. we try to be strong for one another and where i was never told that crying is a weakness, i never really saw any adults cry.

so in a relationship, i can feel strongly but the actual words, "i love you" may not manifest themselves as quickly as they would for others. sure, i may love him as a person and may have a deep kinship with him but i can't trust his emotions, his i love you, until i trust my own. with my aqua-ex the more i say it, the more natural it becomes and the more it feels real.

with the leo, i said "i love you" but what i really meant was "I LUST YOUR WEE-WEE!" i did care for him but love in the way i felt for the aqua, no.

i think i'm hyper-aware of my feelings. i know when it's not right...when it's incomplete. and i can lie to him...i'd be married by now if i could master that. but i can't hep but be true to myself.

so if it's real, i believe it will be a cross between what i felt for the aqua (friendship love) and the leo (passionate love). that for me would be pure love - agape.

hmm, i think i just had an ah-ha moment 😄

do you see these sick bastards on oprah? i feel ill...

Posted by tubbyscubby
with the leo, i said "i love you" but what i really meant was "I LUST YOUR WEE-WEE!"

ROFLMAO! That's the same way I felt about my ex-Leo! Hahahaha!

yeah girl. i mean talk about earth shattering. i'm still not what he did or how he did it but it was amaaaaaaaaaaazing. i was addicted to him for like 4 years and all i have to show for it is this orgasm 🙂

I'll risk it again. I did not let my experience sour me on men or the whole process of being with someone. Life is too short. After I did my sobbing and so on I put on the big girl pants and came out swinging. I AM worthy of a relationship, and I internalized the lessons learned and grew from them.

here read this: http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/show/151476<BR> That's when you know you've fallen in love. Because stuff like this actually exists to be put into words.

lovely and tru 🙂

but BOB was a ho...sexy, talented and my favorite artist of all time but a ho nonetheless

Posted by tubbyscubby
lovely and tru 🙂

but BOB was a ho...sexy, talented and my favorite artist of all time but a ho nonetheless

ROFL. Yes. But even hos can love no? 😉

tru dat!