No Such Thing As FWB

All these FWB or Friends With Benefits threads on DXP, especially in the Taurus Forum are posted often times by individuals whom can't figure out why their clear cut propositions aren't going according to plan. This thread of mine is for you, specifically.

There's no such thing as FWB! Humans can't just be involved together intimately and feel nothing about each other. That's not how the human condition works and anyone who says otherwise isn't mature enough to be in such a relationship, anyway. That's just common sense and logic but hey I'm a bull so this how I look upon it.

Friend's by very definition can't be less or more no matter how we prefer to label them such as BFF, Best Friend, Family friend whatever. When two people decide to become intimate with each other they are crossing an invisible line and becoming so much more than friends. I don't know why this is so hard for so many to understand.

As far as this Bull is concerned, there is NO (CAPS!) gray (Grey for you Brits) in relationships only Black and White. You are either something or nothing and nothing between. I'll take it a step further and imply that the current state of affairs regarding our Societal norms specifically with regard to FWB running rampant is otherwise hurting the fragile state of harmonious balance at large.

It's very childish to think that one can just bypass the laws of decency and normalcy in order to "fuck" anyone they want with little to no consequences. Now perhaps the days of old are no more and beliefs and traditions are non existent or not as prevalent as they once were, this doesn't mean one should partake in the experience.

It's like I always tell high school kids who want advice... Don't be a follower, a useless drone like everyone else, be a Leader, do good, show others how it's done and is supposed to be done but most importantly never forget who you are.

And BAM.....THERE IT IS.... ....
In 100% agreement with you @ AnomalousBull
Everything else is just foolishness from folks who choose to be in denial MOST of the time. The human emotion is way too complicated to be anything less. Most folks choose to be in a FWB relationship because they are just settling...even Men. At some point no matter how many bad relationships you've been in, the average individual is still looking for that special someone and if they have to sleep through many to find that ONE, they will do it, but the ultimate goal is always to find that special person. It may start out as a drunken stupor or a mutual agreement to just have casual sex, but 9 times out of 10, it never end up that way...it's never intentional to be a FWB situation, though some folks will never admit that, but then I'm a Libra and you're a Taurus, so I guess we're ruled by the love planet, Venus
🙂

Posted by PEITHO
I've read that Taurus men tend to be promiscuous are you saying that it's easier for him to have fwb because of his sag moon?

Posted by e11e
I know a Taurus with a Sag moon and Gemini venus who would challenge this.

He has about three of these fwbs at any given time and isn't attached to any of them.....with a live in girlfriend at home.

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I don't think the girlfriend is all that special or else he wouldn't be sleeping with three other women. He's probably in denial too. He's looking for something unless he's auditioning for a porn star role..lol

Posted by PEITHO
Yea but the fact that he's able to sleep with three different women while having a girlfriend proves that he can have a fwb.

Having a FWB mean's nothing, technically he's got three lovers which just makes him a slut and not someone worthy of another persons love or time. Like I said people can call it whatever they want to but the boundaries are clear and like LIb4Life says hes probably in denial.

I've known plenty of guys personally who were all about the FWB lifestyle but none of them could ever just be friends. Even with the FWB of the FWB they were cheating on or not upfront about. lol. One of them told me a long time ago that he just does FWB because he wants intimacy but he can't find it without making it a FWB. Guys will say anything, especially macho ones and you will rarely ever get the truth about deep down stuff especially if you are classifed as his FWB.

i'm a sag moon and so is my bull and we are both very conservative and very monogamous. i would say that for us, our venus placements(scorp and taurus) ride roughshod over our moons.

Posted by LIb4Life
And BAM.....THERE IT IS.... ....
In 100% agreement with you @ AnomalousBull
Everything else is just foolishness from folks who choose to be in denial MOST of the time. The human emotion is way too complicated to be anything less. Most folks choose to be in a FWB relationship because they are just settling...even Men. At some point no matter how many bad relationships you've been in, the average individual is still looking for that special someone and if they have to sleep through many to find that ONE, they will do it, but the ultimate goal is always to find that special person. It may start out as a drunken stupor or a mutual agreement to just have casual sex, but 9 times out of 10, it never end up that way...it's never intentional to be a FWB situation, though some folks will never admit that, but then I'm a Libra and you're a Taurus, so I guess we're ruled by the love planet, Venus
🙂

I'm glad to be ruled by Venus, it allows me to flourish in my opinion. BTW *hugs* it's great to see a fellow Virgo moon! 😛

Posted by e11e
I know a Taurus with a Sag moon and Gemini venus who would challenge this.

He has about three of these fwbs at any given time and isn't attached to any of them.....with a live in girlfriend at home.

Well, Sag Moon is different....lol.

I don't think Venus in Gemini gives me any magical ability to remain detached in a relationship or FWB. I feel like I would definitely fall for the person. If I am sleeping with them, holding hands, cuddling, sharing my life, learning about them - I definitely have real feelings for them.

Now, could I possibly develop feelings for multiple people at the same time? Yes, very easily if I were to go that route. That's something very different though. And I bet the dude e11e is talking about has some feelings there. If his live-in, or any of these side girls suddenly cut him off, I guarantee you he would be hurt in some sense - at the very least, because of the loss of the mental connection/communication.

Posted by PEITHO


Well, Sag Moon is different....lol.

It was a joke - intended to take the spotlight off the Taurus Sun and Gem Venus, which I have. LOL.

But, Sag Moons seem a little crazy to me; no offense that is just my perception. I'm getting to know one right now, and he is just all over the place. Restless, up and down, constantly changing, wandering, etc. Just very hard for me to understand this placement. One minute he is telling me he is in love with his wife and she is the perfect woman for him. The next he is listing 1,000 ways they are incompatible and telling me he's not sure if it was the right decision to marry her.

My new dog also has Sag Moon and she dug a hole in the bottom of my sofa, steals anything that will fit in its mouth, and stashes it up there. This also might be influencing my opinion here. LOL.

Posted by PEITHO
See you understand what I mean because you have Venus in Pisces like me. The thought of being tied to one person my entire life is sometimes overwhelming.

I think this thought is overwhelming for everyone, even moreso in this generation. Think about all of the changes that have taken place, especially with how interconnected the world is now via the internet. There are so many new people to meet, and so many new ways to do so - ethnic and cultural boundaries are also dissolving. The people of the world have become extremely accessible. I am sometimes jealous of people who aren't in a committed relationship, and I have no idea why they are complaining about on-line dating. I would be lining up dates like crazy if I was single.

The thought of marriage should be overwhelming. My Cap sister-in-law told me that once, after I almost fainted during my first wedding ceremony. Committing to someone for life is a HUGE step, it is very difficult, and its not something you should take lightly or just drift into as if its just the natural progression of a relationship IMO. There are a lot of great things about it, but it is not easy.

Posted by Hotbeefy
My Cat has Sag moon too (& Venus in Pisces)..

Not sure about her since she's REALLY cautious cat, but she did had kittens at the age of 1 and half. 😐
Plus she's quite talkative one..

I brought her to the doggy park, and the other dogs were all over her. I scooped her up and held her; I felt like an over-protective dad...lol. She also has Scorpio Ascendant. I think the other dogs find her sexy....lol.

Posted by PEITHO
People say that online dating is risky and that meeting someone in person offline can be dangerous.

I can see that, for women. I guess its less of a concern to a man.

TLS,

Personally, I'm not overwhelmed by the thought of marriage nor spending the rest of my life committed tp a single lover. Then again It's been explained to me by others who know more about Astrology than I do that this is because of my chart and the way it's structured. At my core I am family oriented and programmed to seek out marriage.

I do agree though that times have changed significantly and women no longer need to rely on males for anything as they are fiercely independent and strong willed, plus modern times women are more than a homemaker or housewife. I think that's great that their evolving but I don't see how given what women have today it would be a bad thing to commit to one person and still be able to accomplish their goals. Perhaps I'm just overly optimistic.

People who know me offline call me a hardbound traditionalist, although I am capable of adapting or changing my views with the right person but the circumstance would have to be appealing enough for me to evolve.

Posted by PEITHO
You don't watch the news? Women have men setup all the time.

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio

Posted by PEITHO
People say that online dating is risky and that meeting someone in person offline can be dangerous.

I can see that, for women. I guess its less of a concern to a man.

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Eh...I guess. Just not a major concern of mine. I'm sure the percentages aren't that high. I'd probably communicate with a person extensively and take a bunch of precautions, just because I'm suspicious in general though.

Posted by AnomalousBull

Posted by PEITHO
Yea but the fact that he's able to sleep with three different women while having a girlfriend proves that he can have a fwb.

Having a FWB mean's nothing, technically he's got three lovers which just makes him a slut and not someone worthy of another persons love or time. Like I said people can call it whatever they want to but the boundaries are clear and like LIb4Life says hes probably in denial.

I've known plenty of guys personally who were all about the FWB lifestyle but none of them could ever just be friends. Even with the FWB of the FWB they were cheating on or not upfront about. lol. One of them told me a long time ago that he just does FWB because he wants intimacy but he can't find it without making it a FWB. Guys will say anything, especially macho ones and you will rarely ever get the truth about deep down stuff especially if you are classifed as his FWB.

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Agreed!
I had a fwb for over a year and it was great until he wanted tea and chats. That's when things changed and felt different.
After a while he said for his development and well being we had to stop seeing each other.

Whatever that means lol

Posted by e11e

Posted by b1tchcrafts
i disagree just because YOU have feelings does not mean others develop anything other than a hard on.

*this* is what annoys me with some of the fwb threads.

people go into a fwb as a ruse to get a relationship out of it and then get pissy when the other person doesn't catch feelings.

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I get pissy when they do! Lol
Especially when it's damn good sex!
*sheds a little tear*

Posted by busyeyes88
@MMR. It meant that he was becoming emotionally attached!!! He just did not want to admit it by saying so...

😢 I know busyeyes but he's too proud to admit to that. So apart we shall remain lol

Posted by PEITHO
See you understand what I mean because you have Venus in Pisces like me. The thought of being tied to one person my entire life is sometimes overwhelming.

Posted by busyeyes88
@AriesLady8. That could have had more to do with his cap moon. The moon is the emotion. Venus in pisces is mutable.. So it's very changeable. I, just like Peitho, have a venus in pisces. I find it hard to love one individual I find it easier to love all of mankind.. So not easy to get this placement to settle down unless there is a pretty solid moon which I think cap moon is. My leo moon makes relationships very difficult!! Lol

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I have Pisces Venus too and
Omg I hear that loud and clear!

Posted by busyeyes88
@Peitho. As TLS stated.. The sag moon is extremely changeable within a couple of seconds his mind could change to three different things ie we arrange to go out to a pub we start the car then the original pub night out becomes an invite to two parties, then a disco etc.within a couple of seconds... So you are left thinking so which event are we now going to? Too unstable for a Leo moon but great energy!! If we had a disagreement he would not be personal but would have an air of 'sitting on an ivory throne'.. We hung out for two months he wanted more than friendship but I always had this 'feeling' on an intuitive level... But as I said he had to other placements in sag and seemed more like a sag than a taurus in some respect.

This is my experience with this Libra Sun/Sag Moon exactly. Even the Moon overpowering - I know a lot of Libras and a lot of Sags....This guy is way more like a Sag - only crazier...lol.

@ busy & TLS...

I have 4 major planets in Virgo (mutable): Sun, Venus, Mercury, & Pluto, 2 in Sag (mutable): Neptune & Jupiter, 1 in Gem (mutable): Saturn, and for the icing on the cake for me my Mars is in Aquarius (free-spirited and unconventional). So I find more often than not, I enjoy being single more so than being in a committed relationship because as TLS said.....they truly are alot of work that I am all too familiar with and actually love spending time with me managing me. I've been in FWB relationships before and have had to end them "delicately" because I tend to not want to be in a committed relationship of one I know "I'm not personally ready to be in". Not saying I don't care about my partner....my cancer rising & cancer moon doesn't allow me not to care....however, I have so many Virgo planets & other mutable ones that they overshadow it. I just say to each his/her own.....and try not to judge so harshly just because people have different concepts & opinions on one's "true happiness".

The user who posted this message has hidden it.

I saw it. LOL, too late. I wasn't judging though. Mainly I was doing a little PR/damage control for my Gem Venus...lol. If someone can do an FWB, that's great. For *me*, it would never work. I'd develop feelings. I tend to think everyone is worthy of love in some sense and see the good in the person - especially if there's enough good about them that I deem them worthy of sex. My ego tells me the other person will definitely want more than an FWB with me, so I'd feel too bad cutting them off, or not allowing it to go further....I just couldn't do that to a person - treat them like a sex toy basically. That's not me judging whatever ways others meet their needs - just how I am built.

That's great that you can be alone. You probably get a lot done. And you probably are not socially isolated, even though you're not in a romantic relationship. I prefer to share my life with someone though. I need someone to laugh and enjoy stuff with. I get extremely depressed when alone.

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio

The user who posted this message has hidden it.

I saw it. LOL, too late. I wasn't judging though. Mainly I was doing a little PR/damage control for my Gem Venus...lol. If someone can do an FWB, that's great. For *me*, it would never work. I'd develop feelings. I tend to think everyone is worthy of love in some sense and see the good in the person - especially if there's enough good about them that I deem them worthy of sex. My ego tells me the other person will definitely want more than an FWB with me, so I'd feel too bad cutting them off, or not allowing it to go further....I just couldn't do that to a person - treat them like a sex toy basically. That's not me judging whatever ways others meet their needs - just how I am built.

That's great that you can be alone. You probably get a lot done. And you probably are not socially isolated, even though you're not in a romantic relationship. I prefer to share my life with someone though. I need someone to laugh and enjoy stuff with. I get extremely depressed when alone.

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LOL TLS....I left out my Saturn in Gem in the original post so I added it & reposted it right after again...lol! But I feel ya! Thats why I say to each his own....I'm older now and have grown considerably in my line of thinking about relationships from my 20s to now my 40s....and this is just how I've grown to know ME and what makes me ultimately happy. Even though I enjoy being alone, I never completely exclude having a relationship later on if circumstances for me and my partner fit what both of us are looking for. In the meantime, I easily do me and if I feel like dating I date (and am always honest up front if I do date since it's soooooo much easier to deal).... and if I don't date then I enjoy the breather and just enjoy being single. Funny though...I'm cool with the guys I've dated before and we still tend to have good laughs from time to time after the merry-go-round stops. I just figure it doesn't always have to end bad.

Posted by PEITHO
@Lovelyisis you are right relationships are a lot of work and it's a big responsibility you have to do this and that. After being in one for so long I need a break. I need time to focus on myself but that doesn't mean I can't have some fun. My Venus in Pisces gets in the way a lot. Sometimes it makes me feel like I'm in love but really it's just infatuation. I really don't know if my mars in Gemini is important or not. I think it may bring out my wild side.

+1 Agreed PEITHO!!!

Posted by AnomalousBull

Posted by LIb4Life
And BAM.....THERE IT IS.... ....
In 100% agreement with you @ AnomalousBull
Everything else is just foolishness from folks who choose to be in denial MOST of the time. The human emotion is way too complicated to be anything less. Most folks choose to be in a FWB relationship because they are just settling...even Men. At some point no matter how many bad relationships you've been in, the average individual is still looking for that special someone and if they have to sleep through many to find that ONE, they will do it, but the ultimate goal is always to find that special person. It may start out as a drunken stupor or a mutual agreement to just have casual sex, but 9 times out of 10, it never end up that way...it's never intentional to be a FWB situation, though some folks will never admit that, but then I'm a Libra and you're a Taurus, so I guess we're ruled by the love planet, Venus
🙂

I'm glad to be ruled by Venus, it allows me to flourish in my opinion. BTW *hugs* it's great to see a fellow Virgo moon! 😛

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DITTO 🙂

Well I don't because my emotions run deep and my love can only be given to one guy at a time. I invest in my emotions and feelings...easier for some signs to be fwb.. I can't..I am a Taurus stellium female. I have Aquarius moon , with Taurus trifleca after with Cancer rising....I'm fixed so much I would just wait.

My love, time, and energy can only be given to one guy at a time. I meant to say.. some people don't get attached and some people do..

Posted by e11e


where is your moon/venus and mars?

Pardon my absence!

Moon Virgo 21??17'55 in house 2 direct
Venus Taurus 10??35'21 end of house 9 direct
Mars Scorpio 21??02'34 in house 4 retrograde

Posted by AnomalousBull

As far as this Bull is concerned, there is NO (CAPS!) gray (Grey for you Brits) in relationships only Black and White. You are either something or nothing and nothing between. I'll take it a step further and imply that the current state of affairs regarding our Societal norms specifically with regard to FWB running rampant is otherwise hurting the fragile state of harmonious balance at large.

It's very childish to think that one can just bypass the laws of decency and normalcy in order to "fuck" anyone they want with little to no consequences. Now perhaps the days of old are no more and beliefs and traditions are non existent or not as prevalent as they once were, this doesn't mean one should partake in the experience.

It's like I always tell high school kids who want advice... Don't be a follower, a useless drone like everyone else, be a Leader, do good, show others how it's done and is supposed to be done but most importantly never forget who you are.

Hey Bull,

in that introduction you wrote - you made me think that you are not a bull. lol. I was scrolling down and there

you go - your chart revelation.

The Black and White relationship - Scorpio high definition when it comes to Love.

but yeah confirmed you have Scorpio in your chart..as you revealed. That made sense.