Relationships---Just Venting

I'm amazed by some of the things I've read on dxpnet, regarding men, women, cheating and relationships. It's pretty sad that by reading these posts, I understand why more and more people are remaining single and/or are having "open" relationships. That's just MIND BLOWING to me. I'm not a traditionalist, I'm only 25yrs., and I understand that we are all human and monogamy is an unnatural occurrence...but I am becoming more and more positive that this way of thinking allows us to make excuses for ourselves, and the fact that we (UNFORTUNATELY) are unable to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions...are we really sooo lazy to turn down true relating?

I have cheated, once, and I will continue to beat myself up for it. The fact that I've cheated haunts me in every one of my relationships to this very day. Of course, I tell myself not to be too self critical, for I am only human. But when I'm honest w/ myslef...YES, I'am human which is why my ex forgave me and still talks to me today...but, I also broke the heart of someone EXTREMELY special in my life, and I will always be shameful...he didn't deserve that. It's one thing to play the field, date around and be upfront about it. It's another to say you are committed to someone, but still have "relations," w/ other people, i.e., sexual, flirty, or anything that would be disrespctful to your partner.

To those of you who follow the latter trend in your relationships...GOOD LUCK! That fear of spending your life w/ only one person is what will prevent you from ever truly knowing what it's like to not only love someone, but to have that someone truly love you, back...and I mean the way a Man loves a Woman. It's funny to hear men say that they don't care if their wife hangs out w/ other guys...or women say that their man can flirt, but at least he's coming back home to me...That is UTTER SHIZNAT! As humans, we are also territorial...and there's nothing wrong w/ feeling like your man/wo-man is yours and no one elses! Yes, as Humans, we are free to roam...but you know what, if you've pledged committment to someone...roam w/ tact and respect...don't do to your partner what you wouldn't want done to yourselves...

Those who disagree w/ me, that's fine, and I welcome all responses. But I'am conviced that those who do not agree have a low sense of respect for themselves (no matter how much you want to preach about how happy you are!)--BYE :-)

yep agree on that - its a defensive thing i do - get involved - get some back up dates in the wait to fall straight into if it not work for me with the one i'm involved with...really bad and must come from past hurts...go a few months with no dates then when ready meet one nice one and whilst out with mates take 5/6 numbers to use as a quick rebound to increase my self esteem after - does work but at end of day makes me feel like a twit as i always like the first one but just cant commit to anything serious. i am trying - god this is a rant...going bed now

I would never cheat. I wouldn't want anyone to go through that pain. But what I do disagree with is the whole low self-respect thing. I don't think its just that. Sometimes its patterns in their lives...balances/imbalances. I think that sometimes if someone grew up in an unstable environment -sometimes thats all they are comfortable with. So they create an environment that is unstable because thats what makes them "stable". Not everyone...just some folks. There are so many different scenorios for why people cheat. For instance, someone who cheats because they fear being cheated on so they do it first. There are even some who cheat and go to sleep at night with no remorse, not because they are evil, but they just don't see it as bad. I dunno, its complicated. But for whatever reasons someone cheats, the outcome is always the other person takes the hit. I try to follow the "shame on you if you hurt me once, shame on me if you hurt me twice "thing. I'd never go back to someone who cheated on me, but I'd try to understand they are just human and move on.
I think I may be single for the rest of my life though. I'm like gee-kron. I just can't commit to anything serious right now either. Well...until the right guy comes along and sweeps me off my feet. Guys...show me those BROOMS!!! jk

I'm having ALOT of trouble trusting my gf at the moment.

well the other night, we were just chatting on my bed, and she got a message on her phone
. and i kinda had my head laying on her chest, and she opened her phone and i was just watchin the screen, and she got a message from her friend, and she went to reply to it and you know nokia phones keep the previous message in the new text message screen....yeah there was kinda a flirty message and i said wow back up...who was that message to?

and she goes what message?, and i said that one that you sent last. and she goes oh i cant remember, then she went into the sent items folder, and opened it, suprise suprise it was to her boss, and im like wtffff whats goin on, and she said nothing, your a stress head, you can go through my phone if you want, and im like nah i dont want to do that, i trust you. then that was kinda that 😢 so who knows.

if she cheats on me i think i'd feel extreme anger first then being extremly hurt because i really like her. i'd also call her boss and probably key his car.


thoughts?

btw she's aqua, sluts?

Hey Tauro...my thoughts are to just chill. I don't know how long you've been dating, but you would know if she was cheating. Aqua's tend to be a bit "flighty" and Taurus tends to be a bit possessive...you are both fixed signs. I wouldn't get to freaked out.

"But what I do disagree with is the whole low self-respect thing. I don't think its just that. Sometimes its patterns in their lives...balances/imbalances"

I agree w/ you sensualT. Never looked at it from that point-of-view. As for you gee-kron, it's pretty admirable that you are able to recognize your own faults regarding relationships. So, when you do meet that special someone, consider him/her a challenge to overcome those faults!

Thanks for your comments!