Stepping myself up for FAILURE (I think?)

I just continue on my journey of doing shit that makes you guys say,'Stop acting like a fucking idiot."

Five days with out talking to former Taurus, and on the fifth day he initiates contact with a picture of his dick. (Obviously he's got ONE thing on his mind as far as I go.) I ignore it for two days.

I don't even plan on talking to him ever again anyway. I was convinced!!! (Okay I can't just blame people. lol)

I ended up telling a very dear friend of mine (Who has been married to a Taurus for 17 years) the entire situation. She asked What was wrong,"Bea, you aren't yourself." I'm usually very giddy, goofy, and positive.

She commented saying I looked drained/tired.

For those of you who have been following my dysfunctional behavior. She starts off by saying,"Well first of all, all he wants is a sex favour." At this point I don't really care. I don't need him, still want him to a certain point.

Probably always will, but I need to focus on myself. He's treating me like shit anyways.

STILL I listened to her. I'm saying stuff like "Why doesn't he pick one of the circle of females he already has, and stop coming to me?" She looks at me and says," He already did, and he wants you. Why not? They express themselves by touch, and feel. Really give him something to think about by doing it WELL. I was in you exact situation."

[YAY false hope] So that next day I sent him a picture of a couple in a 69 position. Of course hes gonna respond, and he says "Whats that about?" I tell him what I want. He is OBVIOUSLY pleased commenting on how he thought I said it was a bad idea, but now that I want it,its a good idea. Typical girl."

I just say "Yea, well there are several many bad things."

So we keep talking, and he's asking me when I went this to take place. basically making plans, and my gut is screaming at me to "Stop." SO I -chicken- out, and pull away from the idea TOTALLY with no reasoning.

He keeps texting me, three times with out my response before stopping. He's only texting me because of that option appear open.. YES I DO realize that. I tell him I fell asleep. He just says "okay.."

I gave myself a little false hope on how I can fix some shit that's broke by using sex as a tool?? Before I even did that I thought to myself (It cant possible make things worse) BUT THE AWARD FOR MAKING EVEN SHIT WORSE GOES TO BEA! lol

Plus he's got a job now, and he seems to be feeling his best-friend who is not feeling him. OH GOODY! lol

I'm shaking my head at myself.

How many threads on this? Can't you just post in the old one?

@CluelessCancer

I'm not.

@TaurusLovesScorpio

I don't know how to comment on that, I guess I feel like every screw up is a fresh start? I'll stay in this post for now though.

@HotBeefy and Chael

There is my link, for my chart.

Posted by Hotbeefy


Your friend is seriously a bad friend to advice.. No matter if she's married to Taurus for very long time.

Please for your sake, don't do it at all.

I wont.

@Infinite8

It would seem so, because I continue to stick around even as things progressively worsen because of me. I think with my heart sometimes, and FEEL like I can fix things. Only to logically say to myself, "Fix what, for what."

Plus as stupid as this all is, I still have the same feelings for him :/

Posted by Impulsv
Of u gut is making u feel drain n negative listen to it. If u were fine with it sure it's a gamble like ur Freind said but maybe it's more her nature. The only key to follow is ur own nature n this isn't it. So you'll find a man who doesn't need this to love you. Love for ur being does exist n you won't have to make cartwheels to make him love you.

This is not my nature at all, I'd run normally. 😢 Thank you much.

Posted by BeaCancer91
@CluelessCancer



@TaurusLovesScorpio

I don't know how to comment on that, I guess I feel like every screw up is a fresh start? I'll stay in this post for now though.

If you post a beautiful pic in your profile, we will give you a pass (even if its not really you). We like to beautify our space. Are you the one that had the issue with the bull asking for pics? This is totally unrelated to that.

Posted by BeaCancer91
@Infinite8

It would seem so, because I continue to stick around even as things progressively worsen because of me. I think with my heart sometimes, and FEEL like I can fix things. Only to logically say to myself, "Fix what, for what."

Plus as stupid as this all is, I still have the same feelings for him :/

I'm a cancer too and in the beggining I was rooting for you. But now, you are being more and more annoying with each new thread you make!

Go jump off of a cliff! You have NO self-esteem at all. Just pathetic. Not a typical cancer woman. We cancers are ashamed 😢

Posted by Hotbeefy


Your friend is seriously a bad friend to advice.. No matter if she's married to Taurus for very long time.

Please for your sake, don't do it at all.

THIS IS HOW IS CANCERS FEEL WHEN WE SEE YOUR TERRIBLE THREADS.... JUST SAD

Posted by CluelessCancer

Posted by Infinite8
Do you take pleasure in suffering?

Yes. It's a crab trait. To suffer.

click to expand

But to this extent?!?!? Even us crabs know how to move on... Or maybe I'm just the only one.

@TaurusLoveScorpio

Yes. Same situation. Post a picture where? Here on DXP? I'd rather remain anonymous. Or are you saying post a picture for Taurus. I've actually done that before. It wasn't to get his attention, it was more just to change my profile picture. He immediately took notice. That was about two weeks ago though.

Posted by Infinite8

Posted by BeaCancer91
@Infinite8

It would seem so, because I continue to stick around even as things progressively worsen because of me. I think with my heart sometimes, and FEEL like I can fix things. Only to logically say to myself, "Fix what, for what."

Plus as stupid as this all is, I still have the same feelings for him :/

You need to take a break from humans and communication and spend sometime to get to know yourself and learn to love yourself.

You know the pattern of suffering. If you like it, make peace with it and stop complaining.
If you don't like it: break the pattern. Cold turkey if possible.
Start all over again and change your thought patterns because this one is NOT working for you.

That love that you lack can NEVER be given by others to replenish your empty. That love needs to grow from within.

That's all I have to say. I cannot read anymore details of your stories. They are a bit draining. I don't know how you relish in it.

Good luck!! I mean it 🙂

click to expand

Thank you. 🙂

Posted by cancergoddess143

Posted by BeaCancer91
@Infinite8

It would seem so, because I continue to stick around even as things progressively worsen because of me. I think with my heart sometimes, and FEEL like I can fix things. Only to logically say to myself, "Fix what, for what."

Plus as stupid as this all is, I still have the same feelings for him :/

I'm a cancer too and in the beggining I was rooting for you. But now, you are being more and more annoying with each new thread you make!

Go jump off of a cliff! You have NO self-esteem at all. Just pathetic. Not a typical cancer woman. We cancers are ashamed 😢

click to expand

That's a bit far, but okay.

Posted by CluelessCancer
She's 23 years old people. Chillax. Anyways to the OP, eventually this guy will be a figment of your imagination, you'll ask yourself, what the heck was i thinking.

go date.

I don't really want to date to be honest, BUT I've been enjoying myself lately with friends, and family. Coming out of my shell so to speak. 🙂 I've been having a lot of fun honestly.

But I hear ya. 😄

Posted by CluelessCancer
How can you be even more boring then a Capricorn. How is that possible?

I think this is actually a valid question.

Posted by CluelessCancer
She's 23 years old people. Chillax. Anyways to the OP, eventually this guy will be a figment of your imagination, you'll ask yourself, what the heck was i thinking.

go date.

Very True!

Posted by CluelessCancer
What shocks me is that a CRAB is feeling this type of way about a TAURUS. I couldn't even open my eyes to care if i was in their vicinity. I might as well get a blanket and a pillow. DULLER than a Evangelical Telethon.

Really? lol. I must be a special case then 😢 He is my first Taurus

Posted by CluelessCancer

Posted by Curiousram

Posted by CluelessCancer

Posted by Infinite8
Do you take pleasure in suffering?

Yes. It's a crab trait. To suffer.

I agree 😢

It is just an option though CuriousRam, you don't have to suffer, I learned that this year.

click to expand

still learning.

Ugh he texted me saying ,"SOOOOO you never said what hmmm means." This is to much..

*Deleted*

Posted by CluelessCancer

Posted by BeaCancer91
Ugh he texted me saying ,"SOOOOO you never said what hmmm means." This is to much..

*Deleted*

Tell him to fuk off.

click to expand

Like literally, the words and all? lol

I appreciate it.

He came back "Why are you telling me to fuck off?" *Deleted entirely* All things lol.

Posted by Octoberfrost
Given your lack of self-control, I think you should just delete his number and block him from contacting you. Otherwise, it's only going to be a matter of time before you slip again. You need to be resolute. Just remember, it's going to get worse before it gets better. You're going to look back at this later and wonder why you wasted your energy on such a person.

DONE

You are gorgeous

@op^^

Posted by xy
Oh wait. It is Kurrauche -.-

lol, yea. I love her.

Posted by xy

Posted by BeaCancer91

Posted by xy
Oh wait. It is Kurrauche -.-

lol, yea. I love her.

She's beautifull

click to expand

Very.