Taurus shutting me out??

Why do Taurus shut people out? We had plans tonight and I hadn't heard from him so I text to see if he hadn't gotten back to town ok. Well 4 hours later, he sends me a text "Sorry. Been on the phone all day. Problems at home." I replied saying "I thought you were coming back? What's wrong?" He replied "I'd rather not talk about it. Thx." He works in my town but goes home out of state on the weekends but text me last night saying that he was coming back this morning because there were some issues at work.

Was he planning on telling me at any point today, if I had not contacted him, to say he wasn't going to be able to keep our plans— Why shut me out for the second time— Do Taurus's know that it hurts us that you shut us out like that? Talk about slamming the door in my face. He went from "I miss you" last night to I don't to talk to you today. Wth—

How rude. I'm sure he knew well in advance. Someone better be missing a limb or gasping for that level of b.s.
Even if the situation at hand is bad it takes two seconds after the 'awww shit!' to clue someone in. O________o

Posted by BlackIndian22
You need to call him instead. That way he has no choice but to explain. But if you know you didn't do anything wrong, than don't worry about it. Its not your fault he acting weird. At least he told you why he cancelled. i had people cancel dates on me, & not tell me why. but seriously if he is lying, than it will come back to haunt him. I say give him a day or two to contact you. You don't need to do anything else ok. You are not the bad person in this situation. He better not be lieing because you Scorpio women will find out lol

Yes, I do have to admit that you have to kind of corner us. I do have my moments where I would just rather be alone and already make up my mind about not going somewhere, but still not tell them until almost an hour before. I personally do it because I hate to disappoint friends (my dependable nature takes a hit), but it hurts them more when I don't tell them in advance. bleh!

I know for a fact I didn't do anything wrong, it just hurts to know that I had to contact him for him to let me know that he wouldn't be able to see me tonight and then just blow me off like that with "I'd rather not talk about it. Thx" That "Thx" was just the cherry on the cake to make my stinger want to slash him but my Aquarius moon held it back, for now. He's done this before about 3 or 4 weeks ago, shutting me out but he finally did give me an explanation later that week.

@Venusianbull-lol!! Too funny! 🙂

@Blackidian22-We Scorpion women don't necessarily go looking for the truth, it just seems to find it's way to us. Sad but true. I'm not going to call him or text him, let him come to me. And when he does, bam! That's when I will take that as my cue to do what he's told me from day one (begged me to always communicate with him about what I'm feeling or thinking. Hypocrytical of him to feel he doesn't have to do the same thing.). I'm going to lay it, in a classy mature way, that it was disrespectful to leave me hanging after we basically made plans and that him shutting me out like that, especially with that text of "Thx" is unacceptable.

@Kupochan-I'm not going to corner him, I'm going to let him continue to dig his own little hole. I do not want him coming back at any point saying that I forced him to do anything and that our issues are because of me. Remember I'm a Scorpio, sitting back and watching people hurt themselves on their own is what we do really good. I'm not trying to be vengeful by no means, only doing what I need to do to protect myself. This whole time he's told me countless times as to how he doesn't want to hurt me, blah blah blah. You would have to be a total idiot to not know that by shutting someone out like that is like slamming the door in their face and causing them hurt. I would hurt myself before I let anyone I care about be hurt. Time for a dose of his own medicine. He told me Wed night that he wanted my feelings to slow down, after he told me the week before that we are in a relationship, due to the fact that I told him I was falling for him (no, this has nothing to do with today. I know about what his deal is today but not exactly and it's nothing to do with me and what has happened this past week with us.) Well he's going to get slow, REAL slow. Sometimes you have to experience what it's like to be without someone to really appreciate what you had with them. Don't know what you got til it's

Posted by Scorpio72
I know for a fact I didn't do anything wrong, it just hurts to know that I had to contact him for him to let me know that he wouldn't be able to see me tonight and then just blow me off like that with "I'd rather not talk about it. Thx" That "Thx" was just the cherry on the cake to make my stinger want to slash him but my Aquarius moon held it back, for now. He's done this before about 3 or 4 weeks ago, shutting me out but he finally did give me an explanation later that week.

true, that was very rude. but come to think of it, sometimes you can behave this way only with ones close to you. you don't have to ignore his rudeness, but maybe just go silent on him? convey your anger thro' your silence and don't ask him again what was wrong when he talks next. maybe that might actually bother him and he himself will explain what went wrong. but i know, it is so hurtful when someone takes you for granted. you feel so foolish for holding on to everything they said hmm.. men!

memyself-He's pissed at some other situation and I felt he was taking it out on me. Very wrong to a Scorpio or anyone for that matter. It's nothing to do with astrology, this is out of common human decency and respect. I laid myself out there on the hot grill for him and to be treated so coldly today, wrong! I don't think he intentionally tried to hurt me today, but the end result was just the same. Hurt is hurt, whether it's intentional or not. He won't hear another peep from me even when he decides he's wanting to talk to me. Even then, I will take my sweet time replying to him. Since he was hell bent on being in his own little shell (his Venus in Cancer) today, that's where he will be put back when he's ready to talk to me.

@blackindian22-LOL!! Being a Scorpio can either be a blessing or curse. Day by day....

Scorpio72,

Taurus or any man who has cancelled in the last minute twice with no explanation doesn't deserve your company. Period.

Kick him to the curb where he belongs.

JessieDLeo

BlackIndian22,

Don't apologize for your feelings... I admit, when I was young, I was mesmerized by bad boys... I even married one. That's one mistake I will never make again!

Mature women, no matter what age, will recognize real good men like you and learn to appreciate you.

Some girls just takes a bit of time to grow up. You don't want immature girls/women.

Scorpio72 wrote: "He told me Wed night that he wanted my feelings to slow down, after he told me the week before that we are in a relationship, due to the fact that I told him I was falling for him (no, this has nothing to do with today. I know about what his deal is today but not exactly and it's nothing to do with me and what has happened this past week with us.) Well he's going to get slow, REAL slow. Sometimes you have to experience what it's like to be without someone to really appreciate what you had with them."

>>>I totally agree with this. He seems to have a strong sense of entitlement. Not sure if this is something deep rooted with him, or he is this way with you because he thinks he really has the power (given how you've revealed that you're already falling for him), and is taking advantage, etc. I would give him a taste of his own medicine for the exact reason you suggest. The complete lack of willingness to explain was very inconsiderate and the "thx" was super rude.

@Blackindian - Believe me, we have emotions and really complex, deep ones. They are more troubling to us than most because of the depth. Oh a Scorp moon, you are even extra deep on the dark side. I used to date a Taurus Sun with a Scorp Moon, he was really complex. lol To be honest, most of the time we are more loyal than what people deserve. I can not think of any enemies just people that I don't like, and if I don't like you, I don't deal with you at all. I'm sorry you haven't met a good woman yet but you are still so young and it takes time to find a good woman. I'm 40 and still looking. No apologies necessary for getting emotional. We all get emotionally frustrated. Thank you for the compliments. 🙂 Oh the stress goes on, will continue that below.

@JEssiedLeo - I totally agree with you about kicking him to the curb but I'm the type that I would rather see them get to the point that they know they screwed up then feel the need to apologize profusely. That may sound manipulative but everyone deals with hurt differently, doesn't make it worse than the next person. lol

The story continues...like the stupid codependent I am, I sent him a text last night around 9 asking if he even made it back here yesterday. He replied at 1 am!! I just happened to wake up at that time and saw it. He said that he had made it and was going through horrible stuff. I replied saying that I was sorry he was having a hard time. He replies asking me what I'm doing up so late. REALLY— Why ask me why I'm up at the same time he is— I replied telling him that I just happened to wake up. He replied saying that today he is just going to close the blinds and turn off the lights, that he needs a day off, told me Happy Easter and that he will not be participating (REally?? He's atheist and wishing me Happy Easter? Participating in what??) and said he was sorry for not being available last night. I replied saying he deserved a day off and told him what my plans were for today and that I wish I could do something to help him feel better. He replied "There's alot of things you can do. Just not tonight. Thank you girl. You are sweet." WTF?? Girl?? I am sweet?? It's like I just got thrown into the "Friendzone". I replied telling him that I hate seeing him so sad, that he deserved to be happy, that i'm here whenever he needs me, that i care about him and adore him immensely." That go the response of..drumroll please "Thx babe. I'm going to bed."

Ah, Scorpio72, I guess it's the Leo in me, but this guy you're talking about would not only be kicked to the curb, he'd be there with my garbage cans!

I wouldn't tolerate anything less than complete respect, consideration and courtesy from any man, friend or not. I guess you have a higher tolerance than me when it comes to how to be treated, you're kinder than I am... but if any man does this to me, he'd be gone a long, long time ago.

Girl, he stuck you in the friend zone, stick him the garbage zone where he belongs... just my humble opinion. You deserve to be treated much better than what this guy is dishing out.

Funny how this entire time he's repeatedly told me how he doesn't want to hurt me. Really— Oh and how he didn't want me to cause any drama (He said that on the first day), funny how he's the one causing the drama. He's been so scared the entire time that I would think he was an ass or a dick but what else is someone supposed to think of him—

@Blackindian22-Thank you for the words of encouragement. It just hurts to be ignored repeatedly and always hear the excuse "I'm sorry, I've been busy" or something along the lines of that. But when it's a full blown blow off like he did not once but twice yesterday, that's what hurts the most. I'm sure once his Venus in Cancer allows him to come out of his shell, he will contact me and I have nothing to say to him, except good luck with that. We work together but I can be the most professional with him and push this aside. That's just my Scorpio nature. He probably won't even know what to think.

Torro!! 🙂 I love your profile pics! They are always interesting. lol I agree, this is going nowhere but hurting me. I'm stepping back, not contacting him, and if/when he does decide to contact me I will determine at that moment IF I really want to get back on that emotional rollercoaster ride. Probably not though.

Posted by Scorpio72
Funny how this entire time he's repeatedly told me how he doesn't want to hurt me. Really— Oh and how he didn't want me to cause any drama (He said that on the first day), funny how he's the one causing the drama. He's been so scared the entire time that I would think he was an ass or a dick but what else is someone supposed to think of him—

One thing I've learned in my short life is when someone tells me to trust them, that's when I don't.
When someone tells me they won't hurt me, that's when I become guarded.
When someone tells me they won't take advantage of me, that's when I become cautious.
When someone tells me they'll always be there for me, that's when I say, "show me".

Actions speaks louder than words and I've learned that before I give my heart to someone, I ensure they deserve it. Only time would we know if that someone deserves something so precious.

@Torro - HAHAHA regarding the pics.

@Jessiedleo - I could not agree with you more...actions speak volumes where as words can fall on deaf ears. I told one guy one time that his words/actions weren't matching up to treat me like I'm deaf with enhanced vision. Well, needless to say, it worked. We ended because of different circumstances, not because of how he initially treated me. I treat people how I would want to be treated. And I will continue to be good to you until I've had enough of the bs, that's when I either shut down completely or I give exactly what you've given me.

He just text saying "Happy Easter." Seriously— What atheist wishes a Happy Easter?? And what idiot says Happy Easter twice within 12 hours— I haven't replied and don't plan on it. Let's see how he reacts to me ignoring him like he's done to me. Or shall I reply "Happy Easter, buddy!" lmao Stick his tush in the friendzone.

@Torro - Can I facepalm him?? lol Well, I haven't replied and don't plan to. Let's see how this unfolds. I just can't stay on the ride anymore.

I honestly don't think they do it purposely to hurt people. I just think they are so practical they aren't considering feelings or emotions. What ever happened when he came back to.town?

Aurora - I couldn't agree with you more. He's already sent the "Happy Easter" text but I haven't replied. Teetering on whether I should or not.

Mamacita - I don't think he's doing it on purpose either. He's just got it in his head that I will be there no matter what and that he's not thinking how it effects me because I haven't really voiced my issues YET. But that will soon change, if I decide to. He came back yesterday, he was only gone overnight. I haven't seen him because he's too depressed. WTF?? I get depressed too but if someone who I supposedly care about is offering to be supportive, I'm certainly not going to deny seeing them seeing as how we have rare moments to see each other as it is due to work issues. He's not doing anything today nor yesterday except for sitting around and feeling sorry for himself. Get a grip! We all have those moments but we deal with it without effecting other peoples feelings. SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP!!! It's this thing called LIFE!!

It is hard for me to ignore him but I have to do what is best. I've ignored guys before but never someone that I'm this attached to. I've already come to the same conclusion (that he's more attached to me than he either likes or knows) and maybe that's why he plays the hot/cold so that he can keep his attachment at bay.

All of you, I really want to express my thanks for helping through this. I appreciate each and everyone of you more than you know. 🙂

Posted by aurora

I might be wrong, but as a fixed sign, he is probably more attached to you than he knows.

>>>I think this is very likely to be true. In relationships where I have taken my sig. other for granted, and paid the price for it, I've found it really shocking how much more attached to them I was than I had originally thought.

What price was that?

Posted by Scorpio72
What price was that?

My first love was a Cancer (and 3 subsequent relationships were as well - never again, btw...doesn't work for me). We were always together for years. Like your Taurus seems to do, I'd give her 100% when were together, and that was all the time. Then I moved to another city for school and she was really lonely. I was always faithful when away and I just assumed she would be, but I really neglected her emotionally; I was so focused on school. The price in this instance was that she cheated on me with one of my best friends growing up. She actually did this maliciously - lied to him to get him to do it, etc. I think I took my Cancer ex-wife for granted and she cheated as well.

For me, and maybe other Taureans can relate, my loyalty is so strong, I just assume my partner feels the same. Then I just go about being myself and getting completely absorbed in projects/work, and I just think they're fine....I like breaking away from someone for a bit, and then coming back to them. Its not that I don't want to be around them, its just that I feel I need that time to actually be successful and provide for them in a significant way, and there's something about delaying pleasure. I like when I eat real lean and healthy all week, and then on my cheat day on the weekends, the first bite of food is pure ecstacy. Truthfully I *need* sex every day in a relationship...But if circumstances dictate that I have to abstain, the pleasure is heightened. I feel the same way about romance. Day-to-day I think the romance dies a bit if we are together too much. I like when I actually miss a person in a relationship - it helps you appreciate them more. You have time to think and plan out how to make that next time with them more special.

(cont....)

I find women in general puzzling in this sense. I was married to a SUPER clingy Cancer Sun/Leo Asc.; she would not even let me stay up and read; had to go to sleep with her every night (no chemistry between us to speak of in the bedroom, so we'd just actually sleep). I sacrificed everything I was passionate about. When I did that, I was less successful in life, and our relationship was less passionate bc of it. We were just always around each other like roommates watching TV and stuff. It was fun, but eventually we just got bored of each other. Now that we're divorced, she's still attracted and expresses regret, and alot of that is based on how I'm pursuing my passions and more successful now. Its like women want a passionate, driven, successful man on one hand, but they want your time all to themselves on another. I've found if I let a woman tame my passions and monopolize my time, not only am I miserable, I'm less of a *man* and she's less attracted to me bc of it.

Posted by JessiedLeo
Ah, Scorpio72, I guess it's the Leo in me, but this guy you're talking about would not only be kicked to the curb, he'd be there with my garbage cans!

I wouldn't tolerate anything less than complete respect, consideration and courtesy from any man, friend or not. I guess you have a higher tolerance than me when it comes to how to be treated, you're kinder than I am... but if any man does this to me, he'd be gone a long, long time ago.

Girl, he stuck you in the friend zone, stick him the garbage zone where he belongs... just my humble opinion. You deserve to be treated much better than what this guy is dishing out.

+1

@Scorpio72: I've read your story, I sympathise with you, you truly deserve better. This is the case of an "unavailable" man. To be honest, I think you are even TOO good to & for him. Cut yourself off.. no more favors for him at work, make him figure out his own travel and lodging plans when he comes into town..

Absence speaks VOLUMES.

Bestwishes..

I totally get what you're saying. I have learned during the past month to back off of him so that he can focus on his work. At first I didn't get it because all of my previous SO's would text me throughout the day and night if we weren't physically together. It was an extreme adjustment on my part. But I found that if you let a man be a man and let him do his own thing, which includes focusing on work, they will appreciate you more.

I've given alot of thought to this situation in the past few hours and after a friend pointing out that I really can't punish him for something that he's actually quite clueless about since I haven't let him in on what I'm feeling, I realized how hypocritical of me to expect him to accept my "dark side" when I'm not accepting his. He apparently is in a really dark place right now, I'm going to take a really good guess based on what has been going on the past week and what he's let me in on previously, that the mother of his girls is trying to take them away from him. Imagine how he must feel. He works his butt off (at least 16 hours a day) to provide financially, travels 6 hours one way every weekend to spend time with his girls, etc. all to have them taken away from him. He absolutely adores his girls and I just can't imagine what kind of mother would be that manipulative. I, on the other hand, am just the opposite with my kid's dad. We share custody and they are free to go back and forth as they feel. We are also very flexible when it comes to vacation times and special occasions. Guess some people can't be mature enough to keep their harsh feelings toward's their ex to save the kid's state of mind. Sad.....

This taurus simply is not interested in you. Not enough for him/her to do the extra step to notice you out of the rest of the crowed...
....he's just trying to find out a way to let you know, but without telling it to you so bluntly...