taurus women left me.. i'm seeking advice

so, long story short:

i met this girl in april this year, the relationship started as a friends with benefits with no "official" commitment (but with respect, i don't think she saw someone else, and i've not dated other girls during the relationship), when i met her she was trying to get out from her past relationship, lasted several years (7 or 8) and ended around christmas last year, in the first months she was a train wreck, didn't eat, just get high and very depressed, when we met she was little better, we had lots of good times together and a lot of amazing sex. i was light and cheerful and she liked it, a lot.

some months later (august) during a casual conversation she told me that she was thinking of leaving her work and going to another city. i'm a virgo and i started things without expectations, and for me it's hard to affectionate, but during the time we spent together i really like having her in my life: i reacted "bad" to her idea, i was really sad. she noticed this.

sometimes she was really down about her past relationship, some times she even cried in front of me for this thing (she was extremely ashamed to cry), it was clear for me that she didn't resolved her feelings for her ex (a liar and a cheater, she have a very strong moral and sense of "right" but she fell hard for this type of man. she said that she hoped that he change his behavior, but he dumped her after he found another girl)

so, during the last month of "relationship" sex was progressively less and at the beginning of september she dumped me. she said it wasn't working, that she didn't feel the same thing that i felt, that i was giving her too much, that she have to resolve the feelings for the ex and she is not ready for a relationship. in the last mont i was feeling very un-desired and i was feeling bad about this. during the breakup i cried a little because i was starting to feel affection towards her, and ending things like that was really hurting.

we saw each other two more times. first time we talked a lot, she cried again, she was in pain for her last relationship and depressed again. we cuddled a little, we was at her place, after a few hours i left. i could see that she liked me honestly, but she didn't know what to do. during the first and the second time i fell hard for her, she was missing badly in my life, i missed her affection, the dinner we had together, the nights out, the sex. i missed her so much. i tried to be as distant as possible anyway, we

i tried to be as distant as possible anyway, we just exchanged some texts. we eventually met again, i was really nervous, she stated that she didn't wanted anything physical but it's my way to communicate (hugs, kisses, flirting) and i did it anyway. she responded well but was very firm in not doing anything. we share some kisses anyway.

she told me that she didn't saw our relationship as a serious thing, she told me that she don't know if it's because she don't like me enough, she still can't forget her ex. she told me that she must do an individual path and process these emotions, that a relationship right now would be blocking for her, and that she don't want anyone around. she told me that she don't feel attraction towards me or anyone, and that she is not seeing someone else (why specify this?). she told me that i'm beautiful but right now she do not want anything, and she told me to not overanalyze my actions because all this things happened because of her and not because of my behavior.

a couple of weeks ago i texted her that i respect her decision and that i want to work on myself to get away some of my bad behaviors (fear, being pushy, being "too fast" in things). maybe we'll see each other again.

what do you think?

ps. sorry for my english!

i'm trying to learning as much as possible from this experience, and i'm really trying to push away the fear, the insecurities and really trying to be more easy going (in general, not only with her) but when there are feelings it's hard. i've understood that she like me physically and as a person but she's not in the place for a relationship right now.

my question is, i don't want her right now but in the future it could be a possibility? or, for a taurus woman, a fwb thing never turns into a relationship?

Virgo1982-

You're attempting to analyze and dissect some mysterious puzzle created, written and enacted by you and only you. This Bullette has a strong mind and she knows her heart. She doesn't tamper with gray areas, no confusion, no indecisiveness. Unfiltered, direct, conventional responses. Low risk factors, nothing will be left up to chance, only absolute certainty.

You mentioned her last relationship lasted 7-8 years. An 8 year investment of loyalty, consistency, reliability and love...with no real net return but a broken heart. Virgos are mutable, which means there are more high risks taken with this sign, the adaptability and flexibility, and the ability to move on despite feelings of pain that resulted from a previous partner.

Bulls, we're a little more 'fixed'...absolute certainty, all or nothing, we need to see our entire future in your eyes, or it aint happening....So moving on as if nothing ever happened is never an easy task for us.

You stated: "my question is, i don't want her right now but in the future it could be a possibility? or, for a taurus woman, a fwb thing never turns into a relationship?"

^^^^This is creating gray areas.^^^^^^^
1.You're not interested in a current relationship...but admitted you were pushy.
2. A future relationship could be a possibility...
3. The current status with you and this Bullette is a FWB.
4. You're curious if this FWB will lead to a relationship.

At this present moment, she needs time to heal and you need to grow a set of balls (no pun intended), don't be a victim to unrequited love or be a reflection of what you 'assume' she's looking for. Figure out what you're looking for.

But if you're inquiring about any future potential possibilities, KNOW your mind, and KNOW your heart Mr. Virgo (Don't be like Mr Defense, who gets ripped to shreds on this board)...

This will be your only shot with her in the future. Consistency and absolute certainty.

You were of service to her needs. You want to save her she is not the one. Sorry but take your cap off and go attract real love.

dear taurusbull1977,
you're right. i'm desperately trying to overanalyze things, but hey, i'm a virgo, that's my way to deal with pain.

an 8 year investment with a "gray" person, maybe an abusive one that gave her emotional peaks that i'm not able to give, at least not intentionally. also, her most important love so far.

i am mutable and quick, and i've moved on and already slept with two girls since the breakup, but it was only emotionless sex, i steel have strong feelings for this girl and i don't know how to get her back.

i apologized for being instable in the last month(s), i told her that i was no longer the person that she knew in the beginning. i think she understood but she still keeps me at a distance.

you are more "fixed" and the possibility for going from a fwb relationship to an official one maybe needs some time for you. for me, it's a matter of days. i understand this. i understand that she maybe was "scared" from my feelings and she ran away back in her shell.

i'll explain my statement again:

i understand that she has emotional baggage and right now i can't have a relationship with her. i am looking for a full relationship with her, i'm looking for a lasting love, i want her in my life. this, i want.

i am interested in a relationship but she needs time and by being pushy and anxious (event if not intentionally) i've made her more distant.

the current status is that i'm dumped and she only respond to texts and never initiates. we went to a smart, flirty, ironic conversation everyday to nothing.

i'm not curious: i want a relationship. i'd like to understand what is the best way to obtain this.

about your last statement: if i tell her that right now i want a relationship she will ran away, for sure. what could i do in this situation?

Posted by TaurusBull1977
Virgo1982-

You're attempting to analyze and dissect some mysterious puzzle created, written and enacted by you and only you. This Bullette has a strong mind and she knows her heart. She doesn't tamper with gray areas, no confusion, no indecisiveness. Unfiltered, direct, conventional responses. Low risk factors, nothing will be left up to chance, only absolute certainty.

You mentioned her last relationship lasted 7-8 years. An 8 year investment of loyalty, consistency, reliability and love...with no real net return but a broken heart. Virgos are mutable, which means there are more high risks taken with this sign, the adaptability and flexibility, and the ability to move on despite feelings of pain that resulted from a previous partner.

Bulls, we're a little more 'fixed'...absolute certainty, all or nothing, we need to see our entire future in your eyes, or it aint happening....So moving on as if nothing ever happened is never an easy task for us.

You stated: "my question is, i don't want her right now but in the future it could be a possibility? or, for a taurus woman, a fwb thing never turns into a relationship?"

^^^^This is creating gray areas.^^^^^^^
1.You're not interested in a current relationship...but admitted you were pushy.
2. A future relationship could be a possibility...
3. The current status with you and this Bullette is a FWB.
4. You're curious if this FWB will lead to a relationship.

At this present moment, she needs time to heal and you need to grow a set of balls (no pun intended), don't be a victim to unrequited love or be a reflection of what you 'assume' she's looking for. Figure out what you're looking for.

But if you're inquiring about any future potential possibilities, KNOW your mind, and KNOW your heart Mr. Virgo (Don't be like Mr Defense, who gets ripped to shreds on this board)...

This will be your only shot with her in the future. Consistency and absolute certainty.

+1 Absolutely agree. Funny how I can relate to this on all levels.
"Bulls, we're a little more 'fixed'...absolute certainty, all or nothing, we need to see our entire future in your eyes, or it aint happening....So moving on as if nothing ever happened is never an easy task for us."

Posted by tiziani
I hear Taurus Women never get over their first love.

Is that the same for taurus men?

Posted by tiziani

I've only heard it for the women, myself. Taurus Man is one of the most changeable people in love from everything I've seen.

But for the women...There's even a character in Sunset Beach (really old show) her whole storyline is how she is trying to get her husband back. And then get over him once she accepts it's over. I laughed in the scene where she says her birthday is in May and she's a Taurus.

Changeable? That doesn't sound good...

Oh god, I remember Sunset Beach! Just. 😄

Posted by virgo1982

what could i do in this situation?

Respect her space.
Give her time to heal.
Remember, she's 'fixed'...this will take a little time.
Virgos love to fix things, find solutions, feel needed, rectify situations.
But keep in mind, only time can mend a broken heart.
There is no scientific formula for the routine of a Bull.
It's consistent, solid, tangible, not as abstract, universal, or easily changeable.

A relationship in the near future can definitely be a possibility.
But at the present time, she's not ready.

thank you. i don't plan to contact her anymore, if we get in contact i'll try to be as casual as possibile without pressure at all. no relationship talk at all. if i don't hear her in, say, a month, i'll send a heads up. that's all.
in understand that she need time, space and she wants to do things in her way. so, i'll let her have her own way to process these things.
i don't think we'll see each other in the next months, but if this happen i'll try to be as less involved as possibile and just enjoy the moment.

i hope this is slow enough for a taurus. i really care for this girl and not being determined, focused and decision maker as i normally am is hard for me. but i guess it's your nature, same as me with overanalyzing things.

thank you for your reply!