Well isnt it ironic?

I can no longer give advice to anyone trying to figure out a bull because it turns out i have no idea what im talking about. My little bull is cheating on me. And the irony is, he went all out of his way to get me to be his girl only to turn around and cheat on me. how's that for romance?

Oh well. Im starting to think that i simply AM NOT made for a relationship. I havent had a good one yet. Maybe it's time to quit dating and just be done with it all together. At least i know that i won't cheat on my own self.

Damn... and i really thought i had something too. Guess that just proves that you dont know people as well as you think you do. oh well.

How did you find you that he was cheating?

What did he say?

Sorry ):

well i dont know... maybe i loved him too much. I found out from text messages on his phone. everytime he turns his phone on, the newest message pops up, and it just so happens i was playing some bubble popper game and whammo! there it is. so i did the investigating thing once i saw who it was from. now why did i do that? lots of worms in that can.

oh well is all i can say. guess i was annoying then. he told me what his type was, and i dont fit that description so maybe he just wasnt attracted to me anymore. he's a modelizer and im anything but a model. i dont have the super flat tummy or hair cascading in wavy ringlets down to my ass, neither is my ass so big you can sit a cup on it or any of those things. im just a regular average girl i guess. not beautiful not ugly, just me. and all i had to offer was my whole heart. nothing else. and i guess that's not good enough so, i gotta let him go do his own thing. i cant be part of that mess.

and whats that going to do? nothing. the other girl can have him. ive never had to compete for a man and im not about to start now. i dont know what the girl has that i dont have... i dont even think i care to know. bottomline, if im not what he wants then he needs to keep it moving. he can't have both of us.

my theory is this. all my relationships that i have had, have failed and the common denominator is me. they all have me in common. so maybe it's me. maybe i bring out the cheater in all guys, i dont know... they must think im a pushover or something.

oh well. with that theory in mind i dont think im supposed to be in a relationship. some people go on for years in these nice relationships and then people like me crash at them. ive always had a mouth on me and ive always had to apologize for being myself to other people because of their inability to understand me. well no more! no more! and if that leads a guy to cheat, well then he just isnt for me. if the cost of being myself is that i have to be alone, well then i guess i have to be alone. because i refuse to try to live up to anyone's physical or metaphysical expectations.

You can either love me or leave me alone.

okay, totally flew over my head lol

that's Sagi for you...

so how did you find out he cheated? i mean, my boyfriends gets text messages from female friends and i get text messages from male friends. are you saying he is cheating just because he got a text message from a female or did you confront him and he admitted to messing around with someone else?

there were a series of text messages that spelled out they were doing and planning things that obviously wouldnt include me... for instance, trips to islands so they can be together isnt exactly a family get together ya know? three is a crowd. telling her he misses her (she was on vacation apparently) and that he wants to see her soon raises an eyebrow, especially when he told me that they werent cool like that and he told her that he had a girlfriend. but no. she doesnt know that he has a girlfriend. he lied about that, and ditched me one night to hang out with her, though he told me he was with his little brother

*kisses Sag on the cheek* will you kindly get a hold of yourself man!

Merc, let's go salsa dancing

ewwww are you in the bathroom?

i dont know what im going to do about him. i told him that we can just be friends and he said no he can't do that because he feels like we've been together forever and he will just want to be all up under me and want to kiss me and hold me blah blah blah. well i say hey man, if that's how you're feeling, whats the point of cheating?

you cant be kissing and holding me and then taking her to exotic islands all willy nilly

Weird,, there goes that Taurus vs Water thing again, seems you have issues with secerity and you thought u had the perfect man, But to me thats what it sounds like, The perfect man. i dont mean to be mean, but i have seen you talk about your boyfriend on numerous times here on these message boards. Seems to me there is alot more to the story then what has been displayed. To me you seem to have Idolized the man, but to me i bet it was a differnt world, I am thinking that u posted what u truly thought of him online but rather in person you would accuse him of cheating or something of that nature. With this post i have also gathered a sense that you we "Waiting" for something like this to happen, as you stated ealier this is a common trend and the dominator is yourself. I dont think what u have painted is the truth, and that is your bussniess but all i am saying is that there is alot more then just those texts messages. I think you need to dig deep within side your mind and focus on not thinking of what other people have done to u, but rather u ajusting urself for your next encounter, because it seems that this will happen again if not, but at the same time im not saying your the blame, because he had knowlege of what would happen. Time is a curse but it also a healer and a great ajuster. I say relaz and really rethink the whole issue once more and just step back and not blame yourself but just take a break.

King Bull

lol the truth is what i said. i didnt imagine these text messages nor did i imagine him going out with her when he told me that he would be somewhere else. and the reason why it is so outrageous and devestating is because if it werent for the text messages, i would go on with my daily life with him believing that everything was going great! I'd be planning for the future, believing every word that he says, and never know that he was doing all kinds of things behind my back. sorry if that doesnt seem like the truth to you but i dont know how much more true it can get.

and yes, i said the common denominator is me and it does make me wonder, what is there in me that makes these men feel like it's okay to do this. or is it that they just want to do this anyway? i think it is the fact that i have spoiled him and adored him until he is ultra comfortable and felt like it was okay to do whatever because no matter what i would always be there. that's my theory on it anyway.

I spoke with the little bull over the weekend, i went away to ny and left him here and he pleaded and begged and promised not to do it again. and in getting down to the actual "why" he did it, he said that he doesnt feel very attractive and just wanted to see if he still "had it" and that he knew not to ever cross the line... well what the hell am i supposed to do with that answer? am i still leaving out some truth?

lol it's kinda funny that you feel like i leave pieces out of the story and that there should be more than just me finding him out one day, but sadly, that's how it went. thats what makes it so hard to understand. i actually wish that there was more because i could understand it better if we had a troubled relationship or there was some need that i wasnt fullfilling or we were growing apart. but it wasnt like that. not at all. and his "just wanted to see if i still had it" is the lamest excuse i have ever heard. according to him, it wasnt cheating just an ongoing flirtation and that he will just die if i leave him and it isnt worth losing me, yet if i had never caught him, it would have gone on and on and on. and now he wants instant forgiveness because he says he can't stand for me to be mad at him.

he's just a confusing bull and i adored him. i didnt IDOLize him... please, i dont idolize anyone. but pisceans love hard when they let their guard down enough to feel that emotion and that is what i did with him. i give it 110% because thats the only way that i know how to love. half ass love is no love at all. so yes, i adore him. i do. i can admit it and dont feel bad about it. that's me. that's how i go. the funny part is, he needs to see "if he still has it" but doesnt want to lose all that adoration. he has never had someone love him like that before and couldnt stand it if he lost it... now... isnt that ironic?

maybe so. maybe i didnt give him something but when i asked him that question, he said it wasnt anything i did so what am i supposed to believe? am i supposed to go on a self bashing trip trying to figure out what i didnt do to the bull who says it wasnt anything i did? i guess i will have to stay in my self centered sensitive world and he can stay in his, seeing if he still has it. but if im so self centered with my sensitivity, then he shouldnt be begging me not to leave him now should he? and if there isnt something that im doing, then he should be man enough to say so.

and as for your answer, Merc, i didnt write this post for your or anyone else's sympathy. i dont need sympathy. that isnt the point. this is me venting and i wrote it in the taurus section because it is about a taurus. i dont want you to think that i did it because im throwing a pity party. thats not it at all. im angry about it and im venting. im not broken to pieces nor am i whining thinking oh gosh what should i do. he and i will either work it out or we wont but either way life goes on and that is the point. i just thought i would share the irony of it all.

i think that particular answer of his is bullshit. all in all, he probably wants to have his cake and eat it too just like so many men do. not all, but a lot of them. he should have just broke up with me if he felt like i wasnt giving him something he needed. i'd rather him be honest to me rather than lie and sneak trying not to hurt my feelings.

How you are very passionate in your writing, I still sense that there is more to this story your telling us, but that is besides the point. I just have the question of why are you being so defensive? You are in a sense outraged that i challenged you in your statements. You see what i am saying is that you painted a clear picture, and for me it was too clear, one that is a false image to me, i think the frame is right but the coloring and detailing is off. You are also in a fragle state of mind, or you should be, but i dont sense that in your writing but rather you are agruing your point of view and are looking for support to your claims, I dont know if im the only Bull that is sense some sort of distortion, but then again im only one, one that no one will ever truly figure out.

Take Care of yourself

The Lazy King Bull

yeah i suppose im defensive. thats how i always am when i am challenged i guess, as are most people. i painted the picture the way that i saw it and maybe that is the problem. im a pisces and we wear our rose colored glasses so everything is rosey when we look at things. maybe the picture that i painted is what i see but isnt what is real, and that could be perfectly true. it wouldnt be the first time. but that is sad at the end of the day isnt it?

i can go on everyday thinking everything is okay when it isnt and no one is telling me that it isnt and then when im wronged, i have no idea why. and no one bothered to tell me because they are assuming im supposed to see what they see. and it's even sadder because i STILL dont see what went wrong. you may have a point King Bull.

Maybe that's why most signs dont like to date pisceans. we're too... us. I'm too... me.