longafternoonnaps
@virgoOPPP
6 Years10,000+ Posts
Comments: 5390 Ā· Posts: 10885 Ā· Topics: 287
what does it mean
Posted by Hamsthetics
Finally.
dude you suck
we didn't break up yet
i'm still trying to determine if this is brinkmanship
i need more research findings
Posted by WarAngel
Apparently because he sees a relationship with you, and no longer waste his time.
Seems pretty cut and dry to me. š¤·š»āāļø
are you saying this might be a positive thing?
he did mention how we're getting older (he's 30 and i'm 27)
this not our first break up attempt lol and half of me doesn't really feel like breaking up
and maybe coz i'm so moody that he's always kind of expecting it
Posted by LittleStar_
This post is triggering my PTSD from the past 6 months.
pretending like he doesn't know you're trying to break up with him?
Posted by andsdoesntposthereanymore
Some people just donāt like to be friends with people they have been with
even told him that i'll always support him him from here on out
that's pretty generous coz i'm talking financial too
and maybe he should date someone else
he just got pissed and i'm confused coz why?
i feel like he prefers when i'm crazy emotional instead of logical like this
Posted by WarAngelPosted by virgoOPPPPosted by WarAngel
Apparently because he sees a relationship with you, and no longer waste his time.
Seems pretty cut and dry to me. š¤·š»āāļø
are you saying this might be a positive thing?
he did mention how we're getting older (he's 30 and i'm 27)
this not our first break up attempt lol and half of me doesn't really feel like breaking up
and maybe coz i'm so moody that he's always kind of expecting it
Then you need to chill out or you're going to have to start all over again from scratch with someone new.click to expand
ugh i hate socializing you're right
he told me one of the reasons he likes me so much is that:
i don't easily laugh at other guys' jokes to try to endear myself
so that means i 'don't participate in flirting.'
uhh okay but i just don't like dad jokes
Posted by aquarius_man_Posted by virgoOPPP
when this happens?
been trying to analyze this but idk.
so i got mad over something big time (activating my mars 1H). 5 hours non-stop argument like i've never been so enraged. then i tried to break up with this guy coz 2 days straight of this is too draining for me. and all i get in response trying to comprehend this is: "i'm just trying to strengthen you." which btw sounds retarded asf to me. like mental or emotional endurance training what? i don't get it. and of course i get no foonotes out of him coz sadly he's not a virgo placementer. nobody else maps out in detail the hows and whys of the weakest points of this structure. i've got nothing to work with here.
anyway, i attempted to offer my friendship (which is the best an 11H venus can give). but i get this in response: "if you'd rather treat me as your friend than a lover, then i'd want nothing to do with you." wtf is that supposed to mean?! it's like my resignation letter got rejected. but excuse me sir, i'm offering you gold over copper here. i'm a great friend. maybe a shit gf but an amazing, platonic entity. then later on acts like nothing happened, plays dumb like he doesn't know that i'm trying to break up with him. dismissive asf. is this brinksmanship? i feel like i've been forced back into my 8H moon, burning with resentment and when i try to get into the light of my 11H venus, this is what i get.
why can't we be friends?
Strengthen and discipline you sounds like something Saturn will do. Is your boyfriend a Capricorn? Also sounds like what an emotional abuser will do (learned this word from my exes). Why would he stay friends (do you really mean it or use it to still stick around him?) with someone whoMm he used to know intimately. Itās a downgrade. That being said, Iām not sure your intentions to leave him were clear enough. From what youāve written here, you donāt seem that resolute to leave him, even if heās stubborn like you described him hereclick to expand
cap sun/pisces moon
i'm extremely mutable so tbh i can go either way
like i can survive either way so i can flip-flop about it
Staying friends with an ex is not the norm. You shouldn't be surprised by this type of reaction.
Posted by LittleStar_Posted by virgoOPPPPosted by LittleStar_
This post is triggering my PTSD from the past 6 months.
pretending like he doesn't know you're trying to break up with him?
Some people are so exhausting they will literally kill you.
My heart rate is over 100 right now because of it.
If you can ghost, tell him itās over and do it.click to expand
need more research findings
maybe this is one my first house rages again
i'm gonna wait for it to pass
Posted by LittleStar_Posted by LeRouge
Staying friends with an ex is not the norm. You shouldn't be surprised by this type of reaction.
Sheās just bored again so sheās coming up something to pass the timeclick to expand
i'm not bored with him (i know i chose a capricorn)
but i'm enraged
Posted by aquarius_man_Posted by virgoOPPPPosted by aquarius_man_Posted by virgoOPPP
when this happens?
been trying to analyze this but idk.
so i got mad over something big time (activating my mars 1H). 5 hours non-stop argument like i've never been so enraged. then i tried to break up with this guy coz 2 days straight of this is too draining for me. and all i get in response trying to comprehend this is: "i'm just trying to strengthen you." which btw sounds retarded asf to me. like mental or emotional endurance training what? i don't get it. and of course i get no foonotes out of him coz sadly he's not a virgo placementer. nobody else maps out in detail the hows and whys of the weakest points of this structure. i've got nothing to work with here.
anyway, i attempted to offer my friendship (which is the best an 11H venus can give). but i get this in response: "if you'd rather treat me as your friend than a lover, then i'd want nothing to do with you." wtf is that supposed to mean?! it's like my resignation letter got rejected. but excuse me sir, i'm offering you gold over copper here. i'm a great friend. maybe a shit gf but an amazing, platonic entity. then later on acts like nothing happened, plays dumb like he doesn't know that i'm trying to break up with him. dismissive asf. is this brinksmanship? i feel like i've been forced back into my 8H moon, burning with resentment and when i try to get into the light of my 11H venus, this is what i get.
why can't we be friends?
Strengthen and discipline you sounds like something Saturn will do. Is your boyfriend a Capricorn? Also sounds like what an emotional abuser will do (learned this word from my exes). Why would he stay friends (do you really mean it or use it to still stick around him?) with someone whoMm he used to know intimately. Itās a downgrade. That being said, Iām not sure your intentions to leave him were clear enough. From what youāve written here, you donāt seem that resolute to leave him, even if heās stubborn like you described him here
cap sun/pisces moon
i'm extremely mutable so tbh i can go either way
like i can survive either way so i can flip-flop about it
If you can survive either way then it explains why you would still want to stay friends and also why he wouldnāt: because he feels like youāre in two minds about him and not too invested emotionally - as in, do you love him? Coz if you donāt, being just friends doesnāt mean much. My 2pclick to expand
i love him
but i also want a boring, quiet life
sometimes i feel like he's always trying to push me emotionally
like he's getting paid to do it lol
Posted by LittleStar_Posted by virgoOPPPPosted by LittleStar_Posted by LeRouge
Staying friends with an ex is not the norm. You shouldn't be surprised by this type of reaction.
Sheās just bored again so sheās coming up something to pass the time
i'm not bored with him (i know i chose a capricorn)
but i'm enraged
You arenāt bored with him you are bored with yourself.click to expand
i'm not a gemini
i'm a first houser and i'm angry asf
Posted by virgoOPPPPosted by andsdoesntposthereanymore
Some people just donāt like to be friends with people they have been with
even told him that i'll always support him him from here on out
that's pretty generous coz i'm talking financial too
and maybe he should date someone else
he just got pissed and i'm confused coz why?
i feel like he prefers when i'm crazy emotional instead of logical like thisclick to expand
I'll bite. Post the synastery or describe the issue along with both your points of views. Hell do both.
Otherwise with the lack of detail it seems like you are just venting.
I'm very curious about this toughen you up comment as well.
Posted by jammyjamPosted by aquarius_man_Posted by virgoOPPPPosted by aquarius_man_Posted by virgoOPPP
when this happens?
been trying to analyze this but idk.
so i got mad over something big time (activating my mars 1H). 5 hours non-stop argument like i've never been so enraged. then i tried to break up with this guy coz 2 days straight of this is too draining for me. and all i get in response trying to comprehend this is: "i'm just trying to strengthen you." which btw sounds retarded asf to me. like mental or emotional endurance training what? i don't get it. and of course i get no foonotes out of him coz sadly he's not a virgo placementer. nobody else maps out in detail the hows and whys of the weakest points of this structure. i've got nothing to work with here.
anyway, i attempted to offer my friendship (which is the best an 11H venus can give). but i get this in response: "if you'd rather treat me as your friend than a lover, then i'd want nothing to do with you." wtf is that supposed to mean?! it's like my resignation letter got rejected. but excuse me sir, i'm offering you gold over copper here. i'm a great friend. maybe a shit gf but an amazing, platonic entity. then later on acts like nothing happened, plays dumb like he doesn't know that i'm trying to break up with him. dismissive asf. is this brinksmanship? i feel like i've been forced back into my 8H moon, burning with resentment and when i try to get into the light of my 11H venus, this is what i get.
why can't we be friends?
Strengthen and discipline you sounds like something Saturn will do. Is your boyfriend a Capricorn? Also sounds like what an emotional abuser will do (learned this word from my exes). Why would he stay friends (do you really mean it or use it to still stick around him?) with someone whoMm he used to know intimately. Itās a downgrade. That being said, Iām not sure your intentions to leave him were clear enough. From what youāve written here, you donāt seem that resolute to leave him, even if heās stubborn like you described him here
cap sun/pisces moon
i'm extremely mutable so tbh i can go either way
like i can survive either way so i can flip-flop about it
If you can survive either way then it explains why you would still want to stay friends and also why he wouldnāt: because he feels like youāre in two minds about him and not too invested emotionally - as in, do you love him? Coz if you donāt, being just friends doesnāt mean much. My 2p
I notice virgo women like to mind control their men...click to expand
so me wanting to be friends is mind control?
unlike fixed signs, we mutables can survive either way
basic negging
don't let it get to you
don't let it get to you
Posted by andsdoesntposthereanymore
Some people just donāt like to be friends with people they have been with
š
Posted by dillweed
what was the fight about?
i don't wanna say
but it made me so angry
then he told me i should take a nap
that usually helps but i woke up still angry
Posted by LittleStar_Posted by dillweed
what was the fight about?
Probably the fact that she wants him there when she needs him but gets annoyed when he needs contact from her.click to expand
one of the big 3 reasons
Imo its best to just exit as quick as possible, then try to burry the hatchet later. I've personally never been rejected and always reject the women before she can, but understand completely why he can't accept just friends. If that were me I'd want to turn every single person you know and will know against you in every way possible, but he likely isn't as mentally unstable. If I were you I'd just exit, then try to be nice years later. Most men can't handle rejection. If he was smart he would leave you first, thus never having to deal with rejection. I'm thinking from my own Leo sun Scorpio moon perspective also, so your situation is likely much less intense š
Posted by HamstheticsPosted by virgoOPPPPosted by Hamsthetics
Finally.
dude you suck
we didn't break up yet
i'm still trying to determine if this is brinkmanship
i need more research findings
It's not fair for both of you, to wasting more time. Hopefully he could man up and agreed to break up with you soon.
I think dear @Undine would agree too.click to expand
Yes, lovely Kittens š
Most often than not, the one who cares less initiates the breakup by using emotional withdrawal and unfair accusations, and so the only thing left for the one who cares more is to bring it to completion.
Posted by UndinePosted by HamstheticsPosted by virgoOPPPPosted by Hamsthetics
Finally.
dude you suck
we didn't break up yet
i'm still trying to determine if this is brinkmanship
i need more research findings
It's not fair for both of you, to wasting more time. Hopefully he could man up and agreed to break up with you soon.
I think dear @Undine would agree too.
Yes, lovely Kittens š
Most often than not, the one who cares less initiates the breakup by using emotional withdrawal and unfair accusations, and so the only thing left for the one who cares more is to bring it to completion.click to expand
i made no unfair accusation
Posted by virgoOPPPPosted by UndinePosted by HamstheticsPosted by virgoOPPPPosted by Hamsthetics
Finally.
dude you suck
we didn't break up yet
i'm still trying to determine if this is brinkmanship
i need more research findings
It's not fair for both of you, to wasting more time. Hopefully he could man up and agreed to break up with you soon.
I think dear @Undine would agree too.
Yes, lovely Kittens š
Most often than not, the one who cares less initiates the breakup by using emotional withdrawal and unfair accusations, and so the only thing left for the one who cares more is to bring it to completion.
i made no unfair accusationclick to expand
He did.
took another nap and woke up still angry. how is this possible? my mars doesn't usually act like this. starting to think that getting an apology might not even be effective anymore. this is bad coz i'm probably gonna get more distant and i can't stop how i feel. there were 5 hours to defuse this. and i'm even angrier there was no attempt when i provided so many outs. even my stomach hurts from the rage. and i turned off my phone. i can't deal, i'm so mad.
Posted by UndinePosted by virgoOPPPPosted by UndinePosted by HamstheticsPosted by virgoOPPPPosted by Hamsthetics
Finally.
dude you suck
we didn't break up yet
i'm still trying to determine if this is brinkmanship
i need more research findings
It's not fair for both of you, to wasting more time. Hopefully he could man up and agreed to break up with you soon.
I think dear @Undine would agree too.
Yes, lovely Kittens š
Most often than not, the one who cares less initiates the breakup by using emotional withdrawal and unfair accusations, and so the only thing left for the one who cares more is to bring it to completion.
i made no unfair accusation
He did.click to expand
maybe i should just ghost
Posted by LittleStar_Posted by dillweed
what was the fight about?
Probably the fact that she wants him there when she needs him but gets annoyed when he needs contact from her.click to expand
also he called me immature when he's the one who relies on the number of texts to determine the state of our relationship. so high school. and he got mad at that. he gets mad at even smaller things than me but isn't even self-aware.
@Undine
i can see the parallels.
but tbh i'm the more distant one (at least over technology).
it's like they want the constant validation that they barely even give out. i turned on my phone again and he just wants things to go back the way they were (which is mediocre at best) but okay i'm gonna play along. and he told me that i seem like the type who just believes whatever someone tells me (lovebombing) and i accused him of being one of those people who just tells me things. and he's like: "be thankful i didn't take advantage of you."
ohh yes, i'm so thankful m'lord.
he said a lot of dumb things and i'm probably gonna carry on half-heartedly from now on.
your last paragraph is just awful. do you think they do this on purpose or they're just insecure?
i can see the parallels.
but tbh i'm the more distant one (at least over technology).
it's like they want the constant validation that they barely even give out. i turned on my phone again and he just wants things to go back the way they were (which is mediocre at best) but okay i'm gonna play along. and he told me that i seem like the type who just believes whatever someone tells me (lovebombing) and i accused him of being one of those people who just tells me things. and he's like: "be thankful i didn't take advantage of you."
ohh yes, i'm so thankful m'lord.
he said a lot of dumb things and i'm probably gonna carry on half-heartedly from now on.
your last paragraph is just awful. do you think they do this on purpose or they're just insecure?
Posted by UndinePosted by virgoOPPP
@Undine
your last paragraph is just awful. do you think they do this on purpose or they're just insecure?
I don't know. If there is a purpose, it's to get rid of someone who is emotionally attached. I mean, what were my other options? Walking on eggshells from now on? Change my personality? Be prepared to put up with abuse for things that apparently happened months ago, for which I have no recollection about?
Insecure? Could be. But I can't imagine making someone insecure by putting a lot of my energy, emotional support and other resources into building a relationship with them. I don't think he had anyone like me before. He was beyond frustrated with his dated life.click to expand
he told me to improve, change for the better (in contrast, i ask him for nothing). and he acted like he didn't do anything wrong. and the rare times he did apologize instead of antagonizing me further, he still held on to his idea that he had contributed zero in hurting my feelings. he might have acknowledged it one time but then 90% he antagonizes me.
Posted by virgoOPPP
when this happens?
been trying to analyze this but idk.
so i got mad over something big time (activating my mars 1H). 5 hours non-stop argument like i've never been so enraged. then i tried to break up with this guy coz 2 days straight of this is too draining for me. and all i get in response trying to comprehend this is: "i'm just trying to strengthen you." which btw sounds retarded asf to me. like mental or emotional endurance training what? i don't get it. and of course i get no foonotes out of him coz sadly he's not a virgo placementer. nobody else maps out in detail the hows and whys of the weakest points of this structure. i've got nothing to work with here.
anyway, i attempted to offer my friendship (which is the best an 11H venus can give). but i get this in response: "if you'd rather treat me as your friend than a lover, then i'd want nothing to do with you." wtf is that supposed to mean?! it's like my resignation letter got rejected. but excuse me sir, i'm offering you gold over copper here. i'm a great friend. maybe a shit gf but an amazing, platonic entity. then later on acts like nothing happened, plays dumb like he doesn't know that i'm trying to break up with him. dismissive asf. is this brinksmanship? i feel like i've been forced back into my 8H moon, burning with resentment and when i try to get into the light of my 11H venus, this is what i get.
why can't we be friends?
i'm not telling you what to do... but i don't think you need a friend like that. and if you can't be friends with someone, would you want to be in a more significant relationship with them?
Posted by UndinePosted by virgoOPPPPosted by UndinePosted by virgoOPPP
@Undine
your last paragraph is just awful. do you think they do this on purpose or they're just insecure?
I don't know. If there is a purpose, it's to get rid of someone who is emotionally attached. I mean, what were my other options? Walking on eggshells from now on? Change my personality? Be prepared to put up with abuse for things that apparently happened months ago, for which I have no recollection about?
Insecure? Could be. But I can't imagine making someone insecure by putting a lot of my energy, emotional support and other resources into building a relationship with them. I don't think he had anyone like me before. He was beyond frustrated with his dated life.
he told me to improve, change for the better (in contrast, i ask him for nothing). and acted like he didn't do anything wrong. and the rare times he did apologize instead of antagonizing me further, he still held on to his idea that he had contributed zero in hurting my feelings. he might have acknowledged it one time but then 90% he antagonizes me.
There is not much point getting into a relationship with someone, and then trying to change their personality. It doesn't work. Don't get distracted by the fact that he is attacking your "behaviour". If you look closer, it's your personality he is attacking.
Just wish him good luck to find the "perfect" person for him in the future.click to expand
i hate myself for turning on my phone again and replying to him
Posted by NemDeux
the friendship "deal" has inflationary status.
how many friends does a person need?
some people just donĀ“t want another friend.
people are fucking annoying. i deal with this everyday. my phone doesn't stop ringing, and it's always someone that "needs" something.
i got woken up at 2am the other night because this random assclown wanted to borrow a tool. fucking 2 am. for a fucking tool. to clean a valve or some shit. it's like dude get the fuck out of my life. if you really fucking need me for something you should have fucking planned your maintenance schedule around me.
and the idiots that call me up to ask for phone numbers, or yet another idiot at work that's waking me up at midnight asking what equipment is running when there's a fucking person there monitoring it 24/7. i don't fucking know what's running at any given time, that's why there are people there that know that information at any given fucking time.
i could go on and on but it's probably just going to piss me off
I like where you went with that NemDeux. i'm surrounded by fucking idiots, why the fuck do i want any more in my lifeā
fucking angry now
will it kill this guy to give me emotional validation?
i'm still furious
this is like the 3rd day and it won't go away
i'm still furious
this is like the 3rd day and it won't go away
Posted by NemDeuxPosted by virgoOPPP
will it kill this guy to give me emotional validation?
i'm still furious
this is like the 3rd day and it won't go away
it wonĀ“t kill him, but it will de-value his value system.
nobody cares.
then turn to yourself and ask why?click to expand
well, we're in a relationship and i expect him to care?
but right now i feel like i'll just hang around seething with rage
Posted by andsdoesntposthereanymorePosted by twinkletoes
fucking angry now
Go make your own threadclick to expand
i feel like my advice was intelligent, and my gripes were pertinent, perhaps a bit longwinded.
so thank you for being yet another ass clown in my life.
Posted by andsdoesntposthereanymorePosted by twinkletoesPosted by andsdoesntposthereanymorePosted by twinkletoes
fucking angry now
Go make your own thread
i feel like my advice was intelligent, and my gripes were pertinent, perhaps a bit longwinded.
so thank you for being yet another ass clown in my life.
When it rains
It poursclick to expand
you are no where remotely near the vicinity of assclownery that i have had to deal with.
this is my safe haven. i don't have to glare at you and ignore everything you say everytime i see you when i pass by you to express my disgust with your pitiful existence. it's truly an experience of a lifetime to feel the heat from my anger sometimes.
back to the topic, that's generally how i pick my friends. if they don't make me want to go on a wild rampage, it's usually a good sign.
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been trying to analyze this but idk.
so i got mad over something big time (activating my mars 1H). 5 hours non-stop argument like i've never been so enraged. then i tried to break up with this guy coz 2 days straight of this is too draining for me. and all i get in response trying to comprehend this is: "i'm just trying to strengthen you." which btw sounds retarded asf to me. like mental or emotional endurance training what? i don't get it. and of course i get no foonotes out of him coz sadly he's not a virgo placementer. nobody else maps out in detail the hows and whys of the weakest points of this structure. i've got nothing to work with here.
anyway, i attempted to offer my friendship (which is the best an 11H venus can give). but i get this in response: "if you'd rather treat me as your friend than a lover, then i'd want nothing to do with you." wtf is that supposed to mean?! it's like my resignation letter got rejected. but excuse me sir, i'm offering you gold over copper here. i'm a great friend. maybe a shit gf but an amazing, platonic entity. then later on acts like nothing happened, plays dumb like he doesn't know that i'm trying to break up with him. dismissive asf. is this brinksmanship? i feel like i've been forced back into my 8H moon, burning with resentment and when i try to get into the light of my 11H venus, this is what i get.
why can't we be friends?