houstonpeach74
@houstonpeach74
19 Years5,000+ Posts
Comments: 0 · Posts: 6936 · Topics: 267
Advice needed about Virgo!
If he's not initiating taking you on a date and only calling you late at night, it would seem to me that he is enjoying the sex at this point.
When you texted him and told him no more sex, did he respond?
At this point, make sure you leave the ball in his court. If he doesn't respond, then you definitely have your answer regarding his intentions. Don't send him anymore texts until you hear back from him for sake of looking desperate.
When you texted him and told him no more sex, did he respond?
At this point, make sure you leave the ball in his court. If he doesn't respond, then you definitely have your answer regarding his intentions. Don't send him anymore texts until you hear back from him for sake of looking desperate.
Whats is your astrosign?
Posted by isthistheone
What do you think?
That you're a cunt who is using sex as emotional blackmail.
You are making a lot of assumptions about this guy, based on no reality. You're having all these feelings and because you experience this in his presence...you mistakenly assume he is feeling the same way.
^ This is what you should be focusing on. If he was watching TV in your house and ignored you it's because he came to fuck and nothing more. He isn't interested in bonding with you.
Posted by isthistheone
This last couple of days, I feel as if he has only called me late at night and yesterday when I saw him no compliments, and when he came over my house, he watched TV instead of spending time, talking to me, but I just was patient and didn't complain.
^ This is what you should be focusing on. If he was watching TV in your house and ignored you it's because he came to fuck and nothing more. He isn't interested in bonding with you.
Posted by P-AngelPosted by isthistheone
What do you think?
That you're a cunt who is using sex as emotional blackmail.click to expand
So she should continue sleeping with him, is that what you're saying? I'm sorry but everybody has a right to stop sex if they don't feel like doing it with the other person for whatever reason. She's not in breach of contract here. LOL! I don't see how she is being a cunt when she's trying to protect herself. Having sex with someone sometimes = developing feelings. She obviously feels used or has other valid reasons hence why she ended it, but you think she's bargaining? You're hilarious.
Posted by LadyOfRebirthPosted by WaterCupPosted by P-AngelPosted by isthistheone
What do you think?
That you're a cunt who is using sex as emotional blackmail.
So she should continue sleeping with him, is that what you're saying? I'm sorry but everybody has a right to stop sex if they don't feel like doing it with the other person for whatever reason. She's not in breach of contract here. LOL! I don't see how she is being a cunt when she's trying to protect herself. Having sex with someone sometimes = developing feelings. She obviously feels used or has other valid reasons hence why she ended it, but you think she's bargaining? You're hilarious.
I don't think P is telling her to continue sleeping with him.
She is just pointing out how the OP is trying to manipulate the Virgo to commit to her by withdrawing the sex.
click to expand
No, I get what P is saying, but what else is the OP to do in this situation? And stopping sex won't make this man do anything he is not ready to do, not when there are other vaginas waiting...well unless she has designer pussy or something. LOL!
They are NOT on the same page, so she has every right to stop sleeping with him if that's what she feels like doing...I don't see how she's being manipulative. Maybe she just wants to start things over without the sex clouding things. What's so wicked about that?
Posted by WaterCupPosted by LadyOfRebirthPosted by WaterCupPosted by P-AngelPosted by isthistheone
What do you think?
That you're a cunt who is using sex as emotional blackmail.
So she should continue sleeping with him, is that what you're saying? I'm sorry but everybody has a right to stop sex if they don't feel like doing it with the other person for whatever reason. She's not in breach of contract here. LOL! I don't see how she is being a cunt when she's trying to protect herself. Having sex with someone sometimes = developing feelings. She obviously feels used or has other valid reasons hence why she ended it, but you think she's bargaining? You're hilarious.
I don't think P is telling her to continue sleeping with him.
She is just pointing out how the OP is trying to manipulate the Virgo to commit to her by withdrawing the sex.
No, I get what P is saying, but what else is the OP to do in this situation? And stopping sex won't make this man do anything he is not ready to do, not when there are other vaginas waiting...well unless she has designer pussy or something. LOL!
They are NOT on the same page, so she has every right to stop sleeping with him if that's what she feels like doing...I don't see how she's being manipulative. Maybe she just wants to start things over without the sex clouding things. What's so wicked about that?click to expand
No I'm stopping sex, because if there is any chance at "love", then I don't want sex to muddy it. If we can't be together without sex, then there is no real "love" plain and simple. The answer is then it was just sex, no issues with that, but I want to know. I am not being manipulative at all. He is not treating me right with the sex, therefore that element has to go. I want to see if there is real love here.
I actually think we are very much on the same page, but timing is not the greatest and he feels a lot of pressure to make everything right to be in a relationship. I think he's thinking marriage, when I'm just saying boyfriend/girlfriend therefore putting too much pressur
Posted by Damnata
You are making a lot of assumptions about this guy, based on no reality. You're having all these feelings and because you experience this in his presence...you mistakenly assume he is feeling the same way.
Posted by isthistheone
This last couple of days, I feel as if he has only called me late at night and yesterday when I saw him no compliments, and when he came over my house, he watched TV instead of spending time, talking to me, but I just was patient and didn't complain.
^ This is what you should be focusing on. If he was watching TV in your house and ignored you it's because he came to fuck and nothing more. He isn't interested in bonding with you.click to expand
are you sure he is just not scared to bond? we bonded well in the beginning...
Posted by isthistheonePosted by houstonpeach74
If he's not initiating taking you on a date and only calling you late at night, it would seem to me that he is enjoying the sex at this point.
When you texted him and told him no more sex, did he respond?
At this point, make sure you leave the ball in his court. If he doesn't respond, then you definitely have your answer regarding his intentions. Don't send him anymore texts until you hear back from him for sake of looking desperate.
Nope, no response. He is thinking probably. I think he also texted me at 3AM to test me. I know he doesn't want to lose me. Yeah, not worried. He's confused I feel like.click to expand
What is he "confused" about? He was not confused while having sex, was he? Don't make excuses for him. The no response could be your answer...you said "no sex" & he went mute. What did you expect?
Posted by WaterCupPosted by isthistheonePosted by houstonpeach74
If he's not initiating taking you on a date and only calling you late at night, it would seem to me that he is enjoying the sex at this point.
When you texted him and told him no more sex, did he respond?
At this point, make sure you leave the ball in his court. If he doesn't respond, then you definitely have your answer regarding his intentions. Don't send him anymore texts until you hear back from him for sake of looking desperate.
Nope, no response. He is thinking probably. I think he also texted me at 3AM to test me. I know he doesn't want to lose me. Yeah, not worried. He's confused I feel like.
What is he "confused" about? He was not confused while having sex, was he? Don't make excuses for him. The no response could be your answer...you said "no sex" & he went mute. What did you expect?click to expand
He's confused about love, he's got things in his life to figure out. He's said a humber of times that we are friends. He's told me that I am very close to me. I think the biggest thing is that he feels frustrated because he wants to provide for me but can't. therefore he doesn't think that he can be in a relationship with me. He's even told me at one point this is more then just friends (as if he was talking to himself). I will just be his friend, if it works out great, if not not big deal. He's the one in the beginning that said we should do 90 days of no sex. And the no sex will be the real test. I don't think the no response is a big deal, he's a big thinker, goes in and out a lot. I don't expect anything.
not an assumption, we have spoken about it.
wow ..... what an idiot
Same story over and over again...
Girl knows this guy a long time. They become FWB. Girl developed feelings. Guy is now seen as selfish and using her. Girl withholds sex and wants to talk about feelings.
If you wanted a relationship with this man you should have held out on the sex from the beginning and dated him until those feelings and boundaries were set by both of you. If he wasn't ready or wanting that then you move on.
He's confused and went MIA because he doesn't know why the arrangement between you too has changed. He's not looking for the same thing as you.
Your upset because you want more now and your not happy with those arrangement. You feel used and cheap. You were used but you let him use you. Stop waiting and stop trying to convince yourself that he feels differently. You know the truth. You know the answer.
It's time to move on.
Girl knows this guy a long time. They become FWB. Girl developed feelings. Guy is now seen as selfish and using her. Girl withholds sex and wants to talk about feelings.
If you wanted a relationship with this man you should have held out on the sex from the beginning and dated him until those feelings and boundaries were set by both of you. If he wasn't ready or wanting that then you move on.
He's confused and went MIA because he doesn't know why the arrangement between you too has changed. He's not looking for the same thing as you.
Your upset because you want more now and your not happy with those arrangement. You feel used and cheap. You were used but you let him use you. Stop waiting and stop trying to convince yourself that he feels differently. You know the truth. You know the answer.
It's time to move on.
You're speaking on behalf of another person, describing how he thinks and feels.
He's lucky to have you...he doesn't need to make a lot of effort to get laid because you'll keep justifying his actions every step of the way
He's lucky to have you...he doesn't need to make a lot of effort to get laid because you'll keep justifying his actions every step of the way
This makes no sense. I'm out.
This is a runaway train....must go and read all this. Stop with all the quoting - lol.
You asked us what we thought, whether he liked you or loved you. I think the consensus is that he likes the sexual part of you.
You say you don't go to him for sex, that he comes to you - that's because you've allowed it.
He's introduced you as a friend to others - if he saw you as more, I think he would have talked to you about it. Plus, you're allowing him to put you in the friend zone by your own admission. As long as you do that, then he will take it and run with it.
You said in your OP that he has some red flags...what are these flags?
You feel like he loves you, but those are deep feelings and without talking to him, you cannot make that assumption - if you feel that's how he feels about you and it turns out he's only enjoying the fwb part, then it will be you who will be heartbroken.
You said you want to remove sex because you don't want to muddy the situation, but sex has already muddied it. Women can't do fwb without emotions getting involved. Trust me, I've tried this with the Virgo I've posted about recently.
You think he's thinking marriage? That's just too deep. Don't make this assumption. You're making these comments based on how you feel, but in reading all of your posts, I don't see anywhere that these are coming from his mouth.
You say you don't go to him for sex, that he comes to you - that's because you've allowed it.
He's introduced you as a friend to others - if he saw you as more, I think he would have talked to you about it. Plus, you're allowing him to put you in the friend zone by your own admission. As long as you do that, then he will take it and run with it.
You said in your OP that he has some red flags...what are these flags?
You feel like he loves you, but those are deep feelings and without talking to him, you cannot make that assumption - if you feel that's how he feels about you and it turns out he's only enjoying the fwb part, then it will be you who will be heartbroken.
You said you want to remove sex because you don't want to muddy the situation, but sex has already muddied it. Women can't do fwb without emotions getting involved. Trust me, I've tried this with the Virgo I've posted about recently.
You think he's thinking marriage? That's just too deep. Don't make this assumption. You're making these comments based on how you feel, but in reading all of your posts, I don't see anywhere that these are coming from his mouth.
@OP no matter how he feels or what he thinks; he's not making any forward moves in the direction you want things to go in. So move forward live your life and if he wants you he'll come and find you. It's really that simple. If we tell you he loves you will that really change that status of your relationship with him or will it give you the ammunition you need to continue justifying sleeping with him? Your gut made you post this thread...go with it!
Posted by fembot
... or will it give you the ammunition you need to continue justifying withholding sex from him, for reactionary purposes.
fixed
Posted by P-AngelPosted by fembot
... or will it give you the ammunition you need to continue justifying withholding sex from him, for reactionary purposes.
fixedclick to expand
nods head in agreement
Posted by fembot
@OP no matter how he feels or what he thinks; he's not making any forward moves in the direction you want things to go in. So move forward live your life and if he wants you he'll come and find you. It's really that simple. If we tell you he loves you will that really change that status of your relationship with him or will it give you the ammunition you need to continue justifying sleeping with him? Your gut made you post this thread...go with it!
exactly thank you!!!!
Posted by isthistheone
It's been a couple of weeks
It's only been a couple of weeks.
You just separated from someone else.
Now you're expecting him to commit to you right away.
Something tells me that you want the relationship benefits without the commitment of being in a relationship.
The attention.
The compliments.
The dates.
The sex.
If he's a typical Virgo...he may have already analyzed the situation from all different perspectives.
I don't believe that it's a hot/cold behavior...just exercising caution.
Question...
Were you dating the Virgo at the same time you were slowly 'weening' your ex-boyfriend away?
Posted by TaurusBull1977Posted by isthistheone
It's been a couple of weeks
It's only been a couple of weeks.
You just separated from someone else.
Now you're expecting him to commit to you right away.
Something tells me that you want the relationship benefits without the commitment of being in a relationship.
The attention.
The compliments.
The dates.
The sex.
If he's a typical Virgo...he may have already analyzed the situation from all different perspectives.
I don't believe that it's a hot/cold behavior...just exercising caution.
Question...
Were you dating the Virgo at the same time you were slowly 'weening' your ex-boyfriend away?click to expand
I'm not expecting him to commit to me right away, but I'm expecting for him to treat me good. And it's my fault for having sex so quickly, when especially with him, I should of waited, but I can't go backwards. But bottom line, I'm not tolerating poor behavior. Also it's not fair to him that I'm not fully healed from my ex. I've told him this, and when I asked him for a "break" last week to heal, he freaked out. No I was not dating him the same time, but feelings are still there for my ex. and I need to heal from that and let fully go. I think it's unfair because he knows my situation as well. But bottom line, I need to be treated better no matter what. He mentioned going out to dinner and in the last 3 weeks, nothing. I suggested we go hiking, a museum and Nothing. I think he's also scared of himself to be honest and scared to be loved, and I'll be honest him being scared of love is somewhat of a turn off to me. I feel the relationship has become very one sided too, I can only talk to him when he feels like talking, not when I choose. I can't stand this, and won't tolerate it. I totally respect exercising caution, but you can't be so cautious that you can't live.
Posted by isthistheonePosted by WaterCupPosted by isthistheonePosted by houstonpeach74
If he's not initiating taking you on a date and only calling you late at night, it would seem to me that he is enjoying the sex at this point.
When you texted him and told him no more sex, did he respond?
At this point, make sure you leave the ball in his court. If he doesn't respond, then you definitely have your answer regarding his intentions. Don't send him anymore texts until you hear back from him for sake of looking desperate.
Nope, no response. He is thinking probably. I think he also texted me at 3AM to test me. I know he doesn't want to lose me. Yeah, not worried. He's confused I feel like.
What is he "confused" about? He was not confused while having sex, was he? Don't make excuses for him. The no response could be your answer...you said "no sex" & he went mute. What did you expect?
He's confused about love, he's got things in his life to figure out.He's said a humber of times that we are friends. He's told me that I am very close to me. I think the biggest thing is that he feels frustrated because he wants to provide for me but can't. therefore he doesn't think that he can be in a relationship with me. He's even told me at one point this is more then just friends (as if he was talking to himself). I will just be his friend, if it works out great, if not not big deal. He's the one in the beginning that said we jshould do 90 days of no sex. And the no sex will be the real test. I don't think the no response is a big deal, he's a big thinker, goes in and out a lot. I don't expect anything.click to expand
.
What part of your own words do you not understand? You are his FRIEND, ie a fuck buddy, fwb.
You say you stopped the sex because you want it to be love, hate to tell you this but that should have been something you considered BEFORE sleeping with him. I agree with p-angel, cutting it off now is a manipulation tactic. Have you just asked him where you stand with him?? Virgo's are very direct and prefer that to games. Ask him if its just sex or if it's something more...I think you won't because you already know the
Posted by TaurusBull1977
Something tells me that you want the relationship benefits without the commitment of being in a relationship.
The attention.
The compliments.
The dates.
The sex.
My instincts are ALWAYS spot on!
Posted by isthistheone
Also it's not fair to him that I'm not fully healed from my ex. I've told him this, and when I asked him for a "break" last week to heal, he freaked out. No I was not dating him the same time, but feelings are still there for my ex. and I need to heal from that and let fully go. I think it's unfair because he knows my situation as well. But bottom line, I need to be treated better no matter what. He mentioned going out to dinner and in the last 3 weeks, nothing. I suggested we go hiking, a museum and Nothing.click to expand
Get over yourself and play your position. He should take a risk and put his emotions on the line by moving with you as if you were his woman? You're not emotionally available or ready for a commitment. You made that abundantly clear. He doesn't have a right to be cautious? LMAO. You're something else.
The rest of my reply was cut off.. but bottom line, go back and read all your posts.. you are a FWB period.
Isthistheone....
Stop playing the role of 'victim.' You're not one. You slept with him because you were under the impression that you had his balls in the palm of your hand. Keep him at bay, while still expecting him to cater to you, and move on your terms, and your terms only. So you could throw the 'I'm not ready for a relationship' in his face. Newsflash! He's a Virgo, which means he can emotionally detach himself from a situation, and analyze the individual before him. You're not smarter than he is, clearly.
My advice, take the d@ck on his terms...or simply keep it pushing.
You're not running the show. He's on to you. The 'jig' is up.
You're a piece of work. If you cared for him at all, you would take his feelings into consideration. Stop making this about you...and you..and YOU!
Stop playing the role of 'victim.' You're not one. You slept with him because you were under the impression that you had his balls in the palm of your hand. Keep him at bay, while still expecting him to cater to you, and move on your terms, and your terms only. So you could throw the 'I'm not ready for a relationship' in his face. Newsflash! He's a Virgo, which means he can emotionally detach himself from a situation, and analyze the individual before him. You're not smarter than he is, clearly.
My advice, take the d@ck on his terms...or simply keep it pushing.
You're not running the show. He's on to you. The 'jig' is up.
You're a piece of work. If you cared for him at all, you would take his feelings into consideration. Stop making this about you...and you..and YOU!
No you don't want a relationship. You want the attention and benefits that comes with a relationship. word games don't work with me.
Three weeks of alleged dating.
Needed a week to pine over your x...which leaves you two weeks...
Attempting @ a relationship?
Not buying it!
Three weeks of alleged dating.
Needed a week to pine over your x...which leaves you two weeks...
Attempting @ a relationship?
Not buying it!
Posted by justagirlPosted by isthistheonePosted by WaterCupPosted by isthistheonePosted by houstonpeach74
If he's not initiating taking you on a date and only calling you late at night, it would seem to me that he is enjoying the sex at this point.
When you texted him and told him no more sex, did he respond?
At this point, make sure you leave the ball in his court. If he doesn't respond, then you definitely have your answer regarding his intentions. Don't send him anymore texts until you hear back from him for sake of looking desperate.
Nope, no response. He is thinking probably. I think he also texted me at 3AM to test me. I know he doesn't want to lose me. Yeah, not worried. He's confused I feel like.
What is he "confused" about? He was not confused while having sex, was he? Don't make excuses for him. The no response could be your answer...you said "no sex" & he went mute. What did you expect?
He's confused about love, he's got things in his life to figure out.He's said a humber of times that we are friends. He's told me that I am very close to me. I think the biggest thing is that he feels frustrated because he wants to provide for me but can't. therefore he doesn't think that he can be in a relationship with me. He's even told me at one point this is more then just friends (as if he was talking to himself). I will just be his friend, if it works out great, if not not big deal. He's the one in the beginning that said we jshould do 90 days of no sex. And the no sex will be the real test. I don't think the no response is a big deal, he's a big thinker, goes in and out a lot. I don't expect anything.click to expand
.
What part of your own words do you not understand? You are his FRIEND, ie a fuck buddy, fwb.
You say you stopped the sex because you want it to be love, hate to tell you this but that should have been something you considered BEFORE sleeping with him. I agree with p-angel, cutting it off now is a manipulation tactic. Have you just asked him where you stand with him?? Virgo's are very direct and prefer that to games. Ask him if
You're not over your ex, but you're attempting to pursue a relationship with this Virgo? You must really think this Virgo is stupid.
But I will leave this alone.
Good Luck to you.
But I will leave this alone.
Good Luck to you.
Posted by isthistheone
I just got out of a really tough relationship which I really loved the guy and I told him that I was going to go see him and he came over immediately.
When all else fails ... throw potential attentions of other people in his face.
Posted by TaurusBull1977
You're not over your ex, but you're attempting to pursue a relationship with this Virgo? You must really think this Virgo is stupid.
But I will leave this alone.
Good Luck to you.
Agree! And I've told the Virgo this, and I told him I wanted a break so that it was fair and I could heal, he would not let me have the break! I don't think he's stupid at all and I'm not hiding anything from him, we've spoken about it!
Posted by P-AngelPosted by isthistheone
I just got out of a really tough relationship which I really loved the guy and I told him that I was going to go see him and he came over immediately.
When all else fails ... throw potential attentions of other people in his face.
click to expand
I don't understand, why are you such a hater lol
And I've told the Virgo this, and I told him I wanted a break so that it was fair and I could heal, he would not let me have the break!
Here is my issue OP! I get so tired of hearing chicks say this. Wtf do you mean he would not LET you have a break? Did he physically make you answer his calls, respond to his texts or meet with him? NO! I'll bet if you weren't into him you'd have no problem telling him to kick rocks and ignoring any advances he made towards you.
At the end of the day you like him and you LOVE how it makes you feel when he chases you. It helps you believe he wants more. Please just own that and stop making stmts that insinuate you have no control over your actions.
The men appear to be much more rational
Talking about Libras ^^^^
But, I suppose that is true of men, generally speaking ... which is why I could never be lesbian. I cannot tolerate the female's desire to twist and turn every gesture into fitting within her idealism.
For example: their wedding
Women plan their weddings their whole lives .... and then look for a man to play the part. Same with love. She has been planning how a man is going to love her, her whole life ... then goes about looking for a man to adhere to her imaginings.
yeah, I would rather claw out my own eyeballs, then deal with that kind of emotional weakness, in that the girl cannot take life as it comes, and only knows how to act out according to her rehearsed role.
fuck that noise ..................
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