Can't live with them, can't live without them...

Just a nice non-Virgo bashing discussion...

My Virgo and I have been together for over 2 years... We stopped talking for three weeks recently because he said something really ruthless and mean to me (typical Virgo defense mechanism) during an argument. I basically told him to leave me alone and don't contact me. Well, he didn't. We finally talked about it, explained ourselves, laughed and cried, it's like nothing ever happened. We're still as in love as ever.

This is not the first time we've escalated to this level of argument, but it was the first time I needed that length of space and time to recollect myself. I didn't think he'd forgive me for disappearing for that long but apparently, he was hoping and waiting for me to call him everyday because I told him to let me be. What a nut he is! How he is so black and white is just... the death of me.

He's difficult, hard to deal with, emotionally poised... But I know he loves me as much as I love him.

This kind of makes me wonder about Virgos and breakups. Mine has told me before that he has no problem ending a relationship, moving on and never looking back. But, it doesn't seem like this mentality or emotionality applies to someone a Virgo truly loves. It seems that you have a very hard time letting go or giving up if you feel like you have found "the one."

What are you thoughts?

' Mine has told me before that he has no problem ending a relationship, moving on and never looking back. But, it doesn't seem like this mentality or emotionality applies'

mine has said that too but i dont believe it. And if a virgo has that mentality, a Cap has them beat.

Perhaps the reason why many of us under this sign claim that cutting ties is easy is that the breaking up happens much earlier than when it officially happens.

Or maybe its because focusing on the negative is natural for Virgo making for an effortless separation away from the "imperfect person" at any given time.

Posted by capbaby
' Mine has told me before that he has no problem ending a relationship, moving on and never looking back. But, it doesn't seem like this mentality or emotionality applies'

mine has said that too but i dont believe it. And if a virgo has that mentality, a Cap has them beat.

Hey Capbaby,

I actually do believe that my Virgo is capable of that. I've seen it done towards certain people in his life and I have tried to get him to talk/forgive this one particular person to no avail. However, I also have witnessed him having an extremely hard time letting go of people he's invested so much effort and energy into--this includes friends also and not just me.

I think the nature of the matter is that with Virgos, it's so hard for them to love someone that when they do, they are just more willing to try and make things work as opposed to a lot of other signs whom are easy to love and easy to give up as well. As a result, breaking up and letting go is not so much an option as I'm sure they imagine and analyze from every angle how they will ever be able to feel those emotions again with someone else.

In any case, I do love that about Virgos. He never ever makes me feel like he will abandon the relationship tomorrow when it starts getting hard. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's easy either! Not even close! Virgos are NO prince charming, they forget to prioritize you, and can be extremely insensitive and selfish... but man, when they love you, they don't kid around.

I am either blessed or cursed. haha

Posted by Amandus
Perhaps the reason why many of us under this sign claim that cutting ties is easy is that the breaking up happens much earlier than when it officially happens.

Or maybe its because focusing on the negative is natural for Virgo making for an effortless separation away from the "imperfect person" at any given time.

Say we are not talking about the imperfect person because that's honestly easy for most anyone to let go of.

What we're talking about here is that you found that perfect person for you, what's your take on that?

It is very hard for a Virgo to let go of someone if that person is the one we decide is the one. Doesn't matter how bad or hard things get. Doesn't matter if that person breaks up with us. If you're the one. You're THE ONE.

BUT...when we do decide that person is no good, or things look bleak and it's time to go, believe me, we can't wait to cut it off like a cancerous tumor. We rationalize and convince ourselves of anything. And if we have regrets, we rationalize about it so we don't feel so bad. Basically, we rationalize our emotions out of every situation.

Posted by Virgospirit
It is very hard for a Virgo to let go of someone if that person is the one we decide is the one. Doesn't matter how bad or hard things get. Doesn't matter if that person breaks up with us. If you're the one. You're THE ONE.

BUT...when we do decide that person is no good, or things look bleak and it's time to go, believe me, we can't wait to cut it off like a cancerous tumor. We rationalize and convince ourselves of anything. And if we have regrets, we rationalize about it so we don't feel so bad. Basically, we rationalize our emotions out of every situation.

Pretty much spot on with the Virgo(s) in my life. I made a comment earlier today, "If their logic prevails, they are unaffected by emotions."

Nebulous_Cloud9 what is your sign?

Posted by 25thDecan
It destroyed me to answer the original question. Oh if we were PERFECT then perhaps we'd never have flaws to be seen and perceived as...frustrating. though some of us do strive for perfection, it seems it is just as much demanded of us and derided if we don't meet it by the ones we love and profess to love us...yet have problems loving who we are and thus: burn and hurt us. Such is life....
Nice to see a cap woman bashing us on the sly. Cap women don't meet things head on..they subvert. That IS typical.

Noone is bashing anyone here. We all have flaws, some easier to admit/realize than others.

I think you take perfection out of context... noone is saying you have to be a drone to be perfect; you can still be perfect and still make mistakes -- It's called human nature. Your idea of perfection is extremely repressed... there are elements about our desires deeply imbedded in our genes and cultural, environmental influences that will never ever allow us to be the kind of perfect that will bid no wrong. So there is no harm nor foul in having faults. The kind of perfection I speak of is not one that is bulletproof, it is one that ties two people together in a deep understanding and chemistry and work fluidly as one to cultivate their love for one another. A perfect unity in the heart and mind. As for flaws? There are plenty and one must be really damn silly to even question or deny that.

And noone should ever ask another person to love "who they are" as they come, as if they are packaged goods. If you love someone, you should not expect the other person to simply forgo their own personal standards and expectations to satisfy and adhere to yours. That is selfish. You come into a relationship as two people, so you share equal responsibilities to satisfy one another's needs and desires. A relationship is an exchange, if you cannot provide anything of equal or greater value, then who the heck would want to trade an uneven transaction with you? Anyone who enters a relationship with the mentality of, "this is who I am," in other words is saying, "I'm sorry, I cannot be bothered to compromise, empathize, and sympathize with who you may be." This mentality will always breed contempt sooner or later in the significant other down the road when they realize their investment was one that didn't produce a return.

I used to have this mentality between the

ages of 14 - 22 yrs old. The, "Hey, this is me... I warned you I was like this so don't come crying to me later because you agreed to it now." I later realized that I was using that approach to simply justify my own selfishness. I believed that if I WARNED YA ahead of time, then it's fair game. No, that's now how it works... A fair game is not one you forewarn at the beginning, a fair game is one that follows the rules throughout the game. After I understood that, I became a better person when it came to dating. If I had absolutely no interest in you, I cut it off right away. None of that pre-warning BS, accept me for

me for who I am stuff. If I agree to play, I play by both rules and not just mine.

Boy, I am chatty today. Way too much coffee @ the office.

25th,

Hey, didn't know you had a personal vendetta against that other lady so I apologize if I came off as though I was defensive. I just wanted to engage in an exchange of perspectives and thoughts.

Back on track with my initial question... What are your thoughts on breaking up with someone you truly love?

At what point do you throw in the towel?

When I'm truly in love with someone I will not leave unless it comes to the 3 A's

Adultery - I will never condone cheaters or give them a second chance

Abuse - Any form of abuse be it emotional, physical or mental..against me/children/animals etc will make me leave you in a heartbeat

Addiction - If somewhere along the way I find out you're an alcoholic or a severe drug user, I will make my exit. I used to think people need to be rescued and if only I could find a way to help them..it got me into relationships with broken people who, at the end of the day, chose to continue to be broken so who was I to try and control them or the situation. I learned it's better to simply walk away.

Except for these 3, I think most problems can be solved if two people care deeply about one another. There's always a matter of compromise and reciprocity and relationships truly take work. I'm not the type to balk at the first sign of struggle. I'll support you and be devoted to you and to our relationship through troubled times because I'm idealistic and because I truly appreciate what we have. It's a two way street though..