Double wow, or double uh-oh

So my partner & I are big fans of Dan Savage, saw him speak live etc. Lots of thought-provoking things about relationships and sexuality. Recently we were chatting about some of the stuff he said, and she mentioned that she would be ok with me...oh geez, how should I put it....'finding solace' in addition to our relationship. Not to get too personal, but she's had some health issues that impacted her sex drive, and I'm a very sexual person. She's always been very possessive, so it's pretty startling to hear this. I know some of it has to be the kind of statement where I'm supposed to protest that I'd never do that etc. but it's come up more than once, and that in itself makes me think. There's a lot of backstory that I'm leaving out, but the gist is that there is a new pattern of more open thinking about our relationship.

The other wow is that my virguy friend is much more 'friendly' these days. Makes demands on my time, initiates more touching & hugging, makes more private jokes, invites me into his personal space, pays detailed compliments, etc. Last weekend I called when I was out & about & woke him up. I said maybe he's not up for visiting, and I'd see him at work that week. He asked if I couldn't give him half an hour to shower etc then come over. And when I mentioned the time after a bit, he kept asking me to stay, to come with him into the kitchen and keep talking to him while he got more coffee, stuff like that. One hilarious thing is that he's mirroring back some interior design advice that I gave him previously. I don't be smug, just applaud his design smarts as if it were all his own idea. He also 'lets' me give him things or share more with him.

Not that I'm planning on doing anything, or 'going anywhere', but the two behavioral pattern changes coming at the same time are odd.

Being a cancer, it's a lot of emotional goings-on. Good practice for me in trying to keep cool, but a lot to think about.

p.s. I bet now that I'm sharing this, virguy will put on the chill. He does that sometimes, just when I start to relax 😉