HELP! I want to break free! this toxic addiction

Many of you must know by know m having a virgo guy who broke up with me right when I was getting hopeful for the second time with him.He painted a picture that he wouldn't abandon me this time. Talk of future together was on table. But right before meeting my family he flipped. I begged then cried then shouted then crird then We went quiet.

Now we started talking. I initiated contact knowing he got ego n hes shy as well. Hes the type who wud sit in corner but wudnt tell whats the trouble. So I texted, and he showed intetest in talking. He doesnt run away or cut me but Its hard to understand his behaviour now. He doesnt say hes happy hes leaving my land soon, when I say tat he goes quiet but he acts strange. One min jumpy, excited with me, flirting. Next hes distant as if m nothing. He has turned a confident girl into a desperate needy one. I want help. Please , counsel me. Am so depressed. Afraid. Afraid what he might do next or what if I ruin even a lil chance with him ever. Issue after issue, I have passed every test. I proved am not fat. I proved I look way younger than my age as m 2 years older than him. I even proved m not proud as he had this thing in mind that I wud treat him like a kid. Nor do I say m more educated than you so u know am better.

Just help me. I wanna be okay again. Me again. Me who was not depressed and scared and crying always. 😢

P.S. I remember saying, Out of frustration to him when he was deciding things in his quiet time, that, be a man and stop changing mind. Or I would minus myself from your life. Its the only thing harsh I hv said to him after which he changed. Is this what hes making me pay for? 😢

He isn't doing anything. You are. He did what is the only thing we can expect from anyone, he was honest with you.
It's like if he farted you'd be analyzing the smell to see what it means when it comes to you.

If you were ever a confident person, you know what to do. MOVE ON. focus on the only thing you can change, you.

Just curious, how old are you? And where are you from?

If you don't see your worth no one else will. And right now you don't seem to have much self worth.

I am 26. And I have no sibling to cheer me up or advise. I know you are right. My desperate scared behaviour might have put him off. Please help me let him go and find my shine again. I am literally feeling trapped by my own feelings. In my head , even though hes not perfect, yet, in my head hes perfect and thats making me believe like am going to lose the best thing of my life. 😢

You are coming across as so frustrating and desperate to me, there's no way this guy is missing that in the real life.

I mean I feel like backing away from you and I'm behind a computer thousands of miles away.

You seem like a vortex of self pity.

You're in a high stakes relationship.

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/leo/high-stakes-relationships-5512792/
Understand this, and you'll be able to break free.

And, it is not your fault.

Sometimes, its neither of your faults. The relationship took on a life of its own so that one partner got too much power and decided to use it to shape the other up.

By understanding that your emotions have entered a high stakes roulette, you can break free from the relationship because you no longer expect your partner to understand your humanness.

Do something that makes you zone out. Drive, exercise, clean, whatever. And know that one day it won't hurt this bad.

Pixie!!!! I told you!!!

No one in this world loves, cares, values you like YOU DO! If he doesn't see your worth, he isn't worth it!! No one should feel like they have to jump through hoops, prove themselves tirelessly, just to gain the acceptance of another. If someone truly loves you- they kove you flaws and all! Love is supposed to be unconditional!
Anyone who places conditions in order to gain their acceptance isn't worth having I your life.
He is enjoying this! I promise you. This is why I said, go quiet. No contact. Who cares how shy or whatever he is. Why do you care about the feelings of a person who treats you like an option?!
You are better than that! Everyone, even him, is deserving of love and devotion. But, you don't let someone treat you badly.
My Virgo and I haven't spoken. The last thing I said to him was,
" you know how I feel about you and it's unconditional. I have explained my position and put my feelings out there time and time again. If you don't value me the way I value me- I'll find someone who will. You owe me money. I helped you when you had nothing. The next time you contact me it's about the money only. If you want to speak on our relationship and how you have treated like. Game you play when your bored, you can come to my home and we will speak face to face. I will always open my home to you as I believe you to be lost but a valuable important person."
Say what you need to say and move on. You are wasting your precious time worrying about a man who isn't worried about you.
Go out, have fun. Love, laugh and enjoy the amazingness that is your life. He will be fine on his own. After all, that's the choice he made. Let him live with it in silence.

Well atleast he is back in contact! lol if u havnt understood him in one year chances are you will never do in future! You want to break free and for that you dont need help!Just cut off completely and move on, easier said then done but worth your efforts & pain! Btw i dun get one thing, when he broke up, you wanned him back and now when hes back you are confused as to what to do! :s

Stop crying over a guy

Omg..just move on before he loses the last ounce of respect he has for you. You need to put your foot down and let him know you will tolerate the disrespect.See, this is why it is important to love yourself before you share yourself with someone else. You really do need to let go. This guy is not good for you.