How forgiving are you?

This sounds bad I know but I find it hard to forgive people when I feel that they have wronged me (sometimes in what might seem like small ways). I'm not saying that I won't forgive people if they are truly sorry for what they have done (or seem sorry) but it seems to me as though in the real world that doesn't really happen much (at least it hasn't happened much to me!) In that case I COULD and WOULD forgive the other person fairly easily but since as I say it doesn't really happen it seems as though I carry around quite a lot of hurt feelings (sometimes for a long time). I know people will say that "you only hurt yourself" by not forgiving, but whether or not that is true I still find it very difficult. It's like "repentence must precede forgiveness", so that without repentence (from the other person) there can be no real forgiveness (or perhaps even there should not be, as everything has a price). Other people may say that I should see a counsellor/therapist on a regular basis to help resolve such issues: in fact from time to time I have done this but the issue seems to keep coming back. I have a feeling that like Scorpios Virgos have a hard time really forgiving others their transgressions (at least without repentence from the other person): do you agree?

For example a so-called friend saying spiteful things behind my back, or somebody not returning or replacing something of mine that they had borrowed/lost. Sometimes I think that people think that if they offer (without really meaning it) to replace something of yours that they have lost, that that is enough and that you should just forgive them and let them off, but if I lost something of somebody else's I would feel that I SHOULD replace it and would not expect to be let off. Another thing I hate I suppose is to be mocked when I am upset about something.

I sometimes struggle with this too. I think the hardest part about it for me is knowing that the sins that have been committed against me are not sins that I would have ever committed against those persons, or anyone for that matter. It doesn't help that my natural reaction is to toss the person away after they have wronged me because that means I usually never get the opportunity to work through the process of repentance and forgiveness, or at least the chance to express how I feel (which can still be very helpful in alleviating the hurt even if you never receive an apology in return). It sucks and can be a vicious cycle, but I'm slowly learning now not to kick everybody to the curb for every little offense and to allow the universe to schedule a time for reconciliation, if that's what it's to be.

Are you are making room for offenders to (possibly) repent? I know how we Virgos do. Has counseling helped? Oldest trick in the book, but you can try writing your heart out in letters to all who have hurt you and then discarding them.

Posted by virgodog58
For example a so-called friend saying spiteful things behind my back, or somebody not returning or replacing something of mine that they had borrowed/lost. Sometimes I think that people think that if they offer (without really meaning it) to replace something of yours that they have lost, that that is enough and that you should just forgive them and let them off, but if I lost something of somebody else's I would feel that I SHOULD replace it and would not expect to be let off. Another thing I hate I suppose is to be mocked when I am upset about something.

How much are you speaking up for yourself about these things?