Miasma
@Miasma
19 YearsCapricorn
Comments: 0 · Posts: 112 · Topics: 15
is this normal virguy behavior or what??
so now my questions
1) first of all, I am always the planner, I am arranging all the meetings, i mean initiating or suggesting to do something and always (100% ) he is ready and ok to do something never refuses never, but also never invites or suggests something.
Once i tried and waited 3 weeks (no suggestions no plans)and he didn't do anythning about it.
At the end of 3 weeks i suggested to have a cup of coffee, i really missed him so he came and he told me that he thought i found someone else because i didn't do something for 3 weeks. I asked him the reason why he havent called me and he told he though i was with someone else..WTF— so he is waiting patiently for me to ask something— is this normal—
2)he is always making fun of me, always sarcastic always, never ever something subtle and nice. If you see us outside you wont understand we are a couple ( no holding hands and stuff). but i met with his friends and they were joking implicitly with him, so i can say they knew about us
3) when i need help, he is always there for me and willing to help and he knows that i will be there for him too which is great
the thing is i am putting a lot of effort on thisand pushing slowly (i mean inviting, planning, arranging, communicating)and yeah he is always responding so we are here but nothing is coming from him (like out of the blue)
is this normal?? what do you think?
1) first of all, I am always the planner, I am arranging all the meetings, i mean initiating or suggesting to do something and always (100% ) he is ready and ok to do something never refuses never, but also never invites or suggests something.
Once i tried and waited 3 weeks (no suggestions no plans)and he didn't do anythning about it.
At the end of 3 weeks i suggested to have a cup of coffee, i really missed him so he came and he told me that he thought i found someone else because i didn't do something for 3 weeks. I asked him the reason why he havent called me and he told he though i was with someone else..WTF— so he is waiting patiently for me to ask something— is this normal—
2)he is always making fun of me, always sarcastic always, never ever something subtle and nice. If you see us outside you wont understand we are a couple ( no holding hands and stuff). but i met with his friends and they were joking implicitly with him, so i can say they knew about us
3) when i need help, he is always there for me and willing to help and he knows that i will be there for him too which is great
the thing is i am putting a lot of effort on thisand pushing slowly (i mean inviting, planning, arranging, communicating)and yeah he is always responding so we are here but nothing is coming from him (like out of the blue)
is this normal?? what do you think?
Hmmmm slow is definitely part of the cycle with these guys (well from the stories Ive read here and of course my own situation)....sarcasm is also part of their make up but sometimes sarcasm can be fun - if you take everything to heart its gonna be a rough ride LOL.
The waiting on you to make all the plans? ummmm....well from my own experience, no thats not normal, my Virgo instigates most of our meetings/dinners, etc BUT he makes it look like it was my idea....he is the one who will put the thought in my head but I tend to do the actual "wanna do it" a lot of the time and he is ALWAYS ready, willing and able to accept. My Virgo is shy around women and self conscious...perhaps yours isnt confident like you might be?
When he said to you that he thought you were with somebody else what did you say apart from No Im not? I mean did you discuss that you'd like him to do some of the pursuing, some of the asking, some of the planning? because if you dont point things out to them they will just think all is well. From my experience, once you do point something out they will not falter on that particular subject again. If you tell him that you're concerned he's not interested in inviting you, etc, I imagine he'll work really hard to make that up to you 🙂
The waiting on you to make all the plans? ummmm....well from my own experience, no thats not normal, my Virgo instigates most of our meetings/dinners, etc BUT he makes it look like it was my idea....he is the one who will put the thought in my head but I tend to do the actual "wanna do it" a lot of the time and he is ALWAYS ready, willing and able to accept. My Virgo is shy around women and self conscious...perhaps yours isnt confident like you might be?
When he said to you that he thought you were with somebody else what did you say apart from No Im not? I mean did you discuss that you'd like him to do some of the pursuing, some of the asking, some of the planning? because if you dont point things out to them they will just think all is well. From my experience, once you do point something out they will not falter on that particular subject again. If you tell him that you're concerned he's not interested in inviting you, etc, I imagine he'll work really hard to make that up to you 🙂
I am ok with the sarcasm, i can handle it now and interestingly when he misses me the sarcasm is getting highly exagerated which is funny..i am having fun
Chatz "he is the one who will put the thought in my head but I tend to do the actual "wanna do it" a lot of the time and he is ALWAYS ready, willing and able to accept"
Exactly, for example he is telling me: "you know i don't feel tired today, i don't really have plans" so i am asking "wanna do bla bla bla??" and then the reply "well if you really wanna do it so lets do it"--> crazy guy really 🙂
no i didn't point things out..how can I say someone that he should invite me somewhere..wouldn't that be weird??
Chatz "he is the one who will put the thought in my head but I tend to do the actual "wanna do it" a lot of the time and he is ALWAYS ready, willing and able to accept"
Exactly, for example he is telling me: "you know i don't feel tired today, i don't really have plans" so i am asking "wanna do bla bla bla??" and then the reply "well if you really wanna do it so lets do it"--> crazy guy really 🙂
no i didn't point things out..how can I say someone that he should invite me somewhere..wouldn't that be weird??
Hikoro,
I just read your post!!!!!!!!..it is unbelievable but his birthday is 7th of september and he has a very dominant mother and a passive father
wow!! i am suprised
and he told me the same thing: "if I say yes, it is because I want to"
I just read your post!!!!!!!!..it is unbelievable but his birthday is 7th of september and he has a very dominant mother and a passive father
wow!! i am suprised
and he told me the same thing: "if I say yes, it is because I want to"
how are things going now with you guys?
i also sent you a short PM
i also sent you a short PM
Miasma,
Sounds to me that this VG LIKES you, but doesn't have romantic feelings for you. He's happy to hang out with you, but he doesn't touch you. He plans nothing...
When VG loves you, he wants to plan outings, so he can show you how much he cares. Even the shiest VG will at least hold your hand after seeing you for a while...
OR...
He's a lazy VG.
OR...
All he cares about is being with you - time, place, and activity really don't matter to him.
hikoro,
My ScorpWife will get irritated with me sometimes over choosing a restaurant: I really don't care most of the time, but she still wants me to make the decision...
But I can't blame all of it on Astrology. I'm about half German, and I adhere to the adage, Eat to Live, Don't Live to Eat!
Dy,
he is holding my hand when we are home, always hugging me when we are sleeping, hugging me tight!
he is treating me very soft, like i am fragile but i agree with you that he is not in love, i guess....
he is holding my hand when we are home, always hugging me when we are sleeping, hugging me tight!
he is treating me very soft, like i am fragile but i agree with you that he is not in love, i guess....
would that be possible? i mean "starting falling in love?"
i am actually interested in the source of the problem?
is it lack of confidence? or is it me? what is the problem..thats what i cant figure it out
because if its lack of confidence i am ready and willing to provide him trust and security..I am cancer!
but if the problem is me (i mean if he would act different with a different girl) then i dont want to waste my time
but i dont know..he just had 1 girlfriend in his entire life and he is alone for a long time.so sometimes i think maybe he doesnt know how to treat a woman
i dont know....
i am actually interested in the source of the problem?
is it lack of confidence? or is it me? what is the problem..thats what i cant figure it out
because if its lack of confidence i am ready and willing to provide him trust and security..I am cancer!
but if the problem is me (i mean if he would act different with a different girl) then i dont want to waste my time
but i dont know..he just had 1 girlfriend in his entire life and he is alone for a long time.so sometimes i think maybe he doesnt know how to treat a woman
i dont know....
Dy,
what do you eaxctly mean by not touching?
what do you eaxctly mean by not touching?
Touch is a Virgo speciality, it is not physical but rather spiritual (touched and connected by mind).
You don't know it by know then you'll never understand it either.
You don't know it by know then you'll never understand it either.
qbone
english is not my mother tongue thats why i asked about "touch" to understand if there is another meaning
i am having my share with virgo specialities..no worries : )
english is not my mother tongue thats why i asked about "touch" to understand if there is another meaning
i am having my share with virgo specialities..no worries : )
leokitten,
just before i came along, he had a very bad experience with a girl..before we were intimate, we were friends for lets say 3-4 months..going out for coffees and just chat..during that period he mentioned about this girl and how he found out later that she actually had another boyfriend but she was still playing with him..he told me he can't believe how girls can treat guys and that he had just one decent girl in his life
sometimes i think that he lost confidence in girls in general and prefer not to take responsability to protect himself, but again if he was deeply in love with me, maybe he would act more different..i just don't know
leokitten "and the fact that when he thought you found someone else...he made not effort to contact you or try and "get you back" (at least in his head)"
yeah no effort, but when he learned that there was no one else, he suddenly kissed me like he was relexed, and we were sitting in a cafe..
I am still continuing on because there is always progress (very slow tiny progress but progress)..someone broke to his car, electronical things were stolen..i was the first one he called..things like that..
like there are pros and cons..and at the end it gets all neutralized..and i dont know : )
just before i came along, he had a very bad experience with a girl..before we were intimate, we were friends for lets say 3-4 months..going out for coffees and just chat..during that period he mentioned about this girl and how he found out later that she actually had another boyfriend but she was still playing with him..he told me he can't believe how girls can treat guys and that he had just one decent girl in his life
sometimes i think that he lost confidence in girls in general and prefer not to take responsability to protect himself, but again if he was deeply in love with me, maybe he would act more different..i just don't know
leokitten "and the fact that when he thought you found someone else...he made not effort to contact you or try and "get you back" (at least in his head)"
yeah no effort, but when he learned that there was no one else, he suddenly kissed me like he was relexed, and we were sitting in a cafe..
I am still continuing on because there is always progress (very slow tiny progress but progress)..someone broke to his car, electronical things were stolen..i was the first one he called..things like that..
like there are pros and cons..and at the end it gets all neutralized..and i dont know : )
"I asked him the reason why he havent called me and he told he though i was with someone else"
How subtle!
How subtle!
update:
I had a great weekend with the virguy, he had problems with his family and he was feeling down, he implicitly told that he wants to meet ( now i became an expert he has his own language and i can understand he wants to see me)
we were together all saturday night and all sunday..he did not let me go..i mean even in the middle of the night if we are apart he wakes up hugs me and holds my hand and goes back to sleep..wonderful feeling
in the morning going out to breakfast and again that sarcastic and kinda bastard behavior
i think ill never figure it out..
I had a great weekend with the virguy, he had problems with his family and he was feeling down, he implicitly told that he wants to meet ( now i became an expert he has his own language and i can understand he wants to see me)
we were together all saturday night and all sunday..he did not let me go..i mean even in the middle of the night if we are apart he wakes up hugs me and holds my hand and goes back to sleep..wonderful feeling
in the morning going out to breakfast and again that sarcastic and kinda bastard behavior
i think ill never figure it out..
Miasma,
The constant / recurrent sarcasm means: 1. He doesn't respect you; or, 2. He's VERY IMMATURE / Undeveloped Emotionally.
I was a sarcastic prick in my 20's, but I spared the people I cared about from the worst of my verbal abuse...
He may get better over time, but do you want to wait around??
Dy,
here, i am telling you guys that it bothers me because with this "treating me like a princess
here, i am telling you guys that it bothers me because with this "treating me like a princess
sorry for the previous post
Dy,
here , i am telling you guys that it bothers me because with this "treating me like a princess
Dy,
here , i am telling you guys that it bothers me because with this "treating me like a princess
something is wrong with the pc 🙂
Dy,
Here, I am teeling you guys that i bothers me because this —treating me like a princess?? and then — total bastard sarcasm?? makes things difficult for me to figure it out
But when i am with him, i usually fight back with sarcasm and go with his flow, when i can handle he even gets more greedy..so it became like a play now he is like — come on handle this one bla bla bla??
Once i told him about it and he answered that he likes making me angry so he will continue on doing it. Plus he told me that he is very —soft?? with me
Also the sarcasm and jokes are very helpful for him because when he is curious about something and when he wants to learn something about me, it becomes a cover.
For example; He is asking about an ex-boyfriend in such a funny way that you would think he doesn't give a shit, but actually he is asking me a major question
Maybe he is immature but we are not talking about early 20s
Dy,
Here, I am teeling you guys that i bothers me because this —treating me like a princess?? and then — total bastard sarcasm?? makes things difficult for me to figure it out
But when i am with him, i usually fight back with sarcasm and go with his flow, when i can handle he even gets more greedy..so it became like a play now he is like — come on handle this one bla bla bla??
Once i told him about it and he answered that he likes making me angry so he will continue on doing it. Plus he told me that he is very —soft?? with me
Also the sarcasm and jokes are very helpful for him because when he is curious about something and when he wants to learn something about me, it becomes a cover.
For example; He is asking about an ex-boyfriend in such a funny way that you would think he doesn't give a shit, but actually he is asking me a major question
Maybe he is immature but we are not talking about early 20s
hikoro: Miasma becuase Virguys can also be very critical, which is something that Water signs don't handle very well.
Yep. I could steam-roll the typical Cancer Gal.
Miasma, you really need to think seriously about a future with this sarcastic VG...
Hikoro: Also, I posted our story in an astrology board. Some members are trying to help me out the passivity behind some Virgos. I will keep you updated of any insights, probably by PM.
--> please PM if any insights
Dy,
I think we both invested a lot into this relationship, especially me and i don't feel giving up just because of sarcasm. I can handle it , its been 7 months but i just felt like sharing it.
this guy is like a safe, very hard to open up.. ( statistics, just 1 girl that he can talk about as his "girlfriend"..one )..but i am very interested in to find out whats inside..i am ready to be patient, maybe this is also my "cancer" side.
its just i hope i am not doing it for nothing
--> please PM if any insights
Dy,
I think we both invested a lot into this relationship, especially me and i don't feel giving up just because of sarcasm. I can handle it , its been 7 months but i just felt like sharing it.
this guy is like a safe, very hard to open up.. ( statistics, just 1 girl that he can talk about as his "girlfriend"..one )..but i am very interested in to find out whats inside..i am ready to be patient, maybe this is also my "cancer" side.
its just i hope i am not doing it for nothing
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Hi everyone,
It's been a while that I couldn't post but maybe some of you would remember my virguy which I was trying to figure out..well I guess i am still trying 🙂
It's been 7-8 months that I have this virguy in my life, 5 months ago just before going to a long trip abroad I told him that i like him, he was speechless and shocked. However he came to the airport when i was back with a bunch of gifts and things went better and better ( SLOWLY very very very SLOWLY) so slow that i can't still say that we are having a relationship.
we are seeing each other regulary, going out for dinners, coffees, movies. we are also satying together over night time to time when we have the opportunity and we are having a great time for sure!
Even though we are seeing eachother regularly (1-2 times a week)..we are not communicating everyday!!!!
and something new! , we were on the same mountain for the ski-trip ( but different hotels and different group of friends) but we decided to meet there and we introduced our friends to eachother and had lunch very nice time!..friends were not really involved before.