it's almost a new year and I need to move on...

I think, Virgo or not, in a perfect world, the key to getting over somebody is essentially the same: cut off all contact and keep on living your life.

For a lot of us, cutting off all contact is difficult to impossible, be it because of a common environment, or the desire to remain friends (or both factors, as in my current situation), but in that case, keeping your emotional distance is important. Conversations should be superficial and brief, lest they stir up any romantic feelings of possibility, sending your heart and mind reeling into unhealthy territory again. If you have the physical ability to keep yourself from seeing him, do that. If you have the emotional ability to keep yourself from talking to him, do that. Don't talk each other through the feelings and support one another, don't try and get closure, don't goad him into rehashing the relationship that almost was, or attempt to figure out where you went wrong, or what you could have done differently - just leave it be, and accept that, whether by his doing or yours, it's not going to work out, and start from there, reminding yourself of the facts as necessary.

Honestly, I think I said it for myself as much as I said it for jeezlouise, lol. I needed to hear it too, or keep it fresh in my head, anyway. It looks like there is a fair amount of "getting over" going on for a lot of us. F*cking Virgos. Lol.

I didn't get to read it ... but, obviously, it's about struggling to be free of how bad love hurts.

You know ... it's all in your mind .. all of it. It has nothing to do with your heart, at all. You think it is, so it is.

If you say ... oh god, I miss him ... then you will.

When you recall life, it is in your mind ..... you can "see" the ocean lapping up on the shore and the sound of the birds and waves right now sitting in front of your computer. Why? Because life is what you think it to be. Everything, if you went blind today, you'd still see the color purple in your mind.

You see him in your mind, you miss him in your mind, you love him in your mind ..... it's not your hands, it's not heart ...... so ...

... change your thoughts ... it's that simple.

It's always been that simple.

Thank you all for the encouraging responses🙂

Posted by spaggiescorp
I think, Virgo or not, in a perfect world, the key to getting over somebody is essentially the same: cut off all contact and keep on living your life.

For a lot of us, cutting off all contact is difficult to impossible, be it because of a common environment, or the desire to remain friends (or both factors, as in my current situation), but in that case, keeping your emotional distance is important. Conversations should be superficial and brief, lest they stir up any romantic feelings of possibility, sending your heart and mind reeling into unhealthy territory again. If you have the physical ability to keep yourself from seeing him, do that. If you have the emotional ability to keep yourself from talking to him, do that. Don't talk each other through the feelings and support one another, don't try and get closure, don't goad him into rehashing the relationship that almost was, or attempt to figure out where you went wrong, or what you could have done differently - just leave it be, and accept that, whether by his doing or yours, it's not going to work out, and start from there, reminding yourself of the facts as necessary.

good stuff. equally important, don't fantasize about the awesome sex you may have had when you pleasure yourself. try to think about someone else!