aj123
@aj123
11 Years
Comments: 1 · Posts: 241 · Topics: 66
Jelous and very competitive Virgo Sun Leo Moon female colleague, what do I do?
You are young and qualified.
Based on my own experience in the workforce, this is unfortunately how the cookie tends to crumble at times...
You're best bet would be to simply find work with another company and follow a similar trajectory there without these initial factors being part of the play.
Also take a leaf or two out of her book and apply it to your next position. Being fearless and ambitious is not a bad thing, as long as it's you and not someone else doing the hard yards.
Go where you're wanted, unless this is your absolute passion in Life why pay bills doing something that makes you this unhappy.
Being professional doesn't always automatically mean things will be 'fair' but good luck - hope it gets sorted 🙂
Based on my own experience in the workforce, this is unfortunately how the cookie tends to crumble at times...
You're best bet would be to simply find work with another company and follow a similar trajectory there without these initial factors being part of the play.
Also take a leaf or two out of her book and apply it to your next position. Being fearless and ambitious is not a bad thing, as long as it's you and not someone else doing the hard yards.
Go where you're wanted, unless this is your absolute passion in Life why pay bills doing something that makes you this unhappy.
Being professional doesn't always automatically mean things will be 'fair' but good luck - hope it gets sorted 🙂
Your post is full of assumptions. Almost everything you shared is a hypothesis about what's actually going on, with no facts behind it.
You are supposed to be competitive at work. Be a wallflower less or whine less, whichever will be easier for you.
You are supposed to be competitive at work. Be a wallflower less or whine less, whichever will be easier for you.
Posted by aj123I think the problem is you , you talk too much and you're worrying about the wrong things. Stay in your lane
Hi,
I work in a lab based job (I am a Taurus Sun, Aquarius moon), female, early 20's in age.
She is a Virgo Sun Leo Moon, female, in her 40's.
She is not too good with English as she only moved to the country about 2 years ago and often asks for help, etc. whereas, I can speak and write English to native ability.
We were both hired for the same position at the exact same time. She had met with our boss before applying (boss is from the same country she is but boss' English is a lot better as she's been here longer, is more qualified etc.).
Often times, I've noticed my Virgo colleague being very competitive. Despite her English not being the best (most people struggle to understand her and I've often helped her with English when she's asked), she often uses charm and friendliness to gain popularity with everyone and is very smiley and polite. However, if she thinks I'm performing better than her, she'll almost throw a tantrum within herself and get very irritated (whilst still acting all smiley). She also envies me for having the same job title as her, despite being almost half her age even though we are very similarly qualified and I have enough relevant experience to do the job tasks properly.
She always talks to our boss in her own language and has often tried to gain manager-level responsibilities. Even though the boss is nice to me also, it is so obvious that she prefers the virgo girl as the boss is one of those people who favour her nationality people (out of the 200 or so people who work there, there are 4 people of her nationality and our boss only talks those 4 people for extended periods.. with everyone else, it's just 1-2 small talk). Sometimes, our boss has allowed the virgo girl to go for certain training but not me - without being able to give me a proper reason for why I wasn't included. It always seemed our boss almost subconsciously fears that if I progress higher than the virgo girl, it's almost an insult to their nationality (!?) which makes things difficult for me. If the virgo girl was the same nationality of e.g. a fellow colleague, it wouldn't be so bad. When it's our boss, it makes things difficult in my career progression..
but anyway, I notice her trying to take managerial responsibilities on a project "X" (maybe she's being promised a promotion if she can demonstrate manager level skill?) and it's very easy for her as she gets direct guidance on what to do step by step from the boss in her own language. I don't see why I shouldn't also be allowed to contribute equally to project X, since we both worked on it about a year ago (it was put on pause before being resumed again). At that time, we were both new starters at the job so we just did the labour work and all the admin/data management/recording was done by a more senior girl. Now, the senior girl has left so virgo girl thinks she should take this responsibility (I think we should both share it as we are both equal - she reluctantly agreed to it..but:
The job includes about 5 various tasks. She has told other collegues, including me, doing the labour work to hand in the sheets when completed to her for her to "sign it off, make final edits etc." (1 of 5 tasks) as if she's a manager. I said I could gladly edit and sign off my own sheets.. she wasn't happy about this but she agreed as she couldn't exactly say no but all our colleagues hand in the sheets to her as they either started before/after us and/or work in different work areas so are not too bothered in competing. Even then, she signs off her name below mine on my sheets saying she made further changes/edits (when she had not) just so she can say she signed off all sheets, presumably..
Task 2 is periodically printing out new datasheets for a lab process. She's done quite a few of them (with guidance from our boss in her own language) and sent out a big email to the entire team basically boasting about having printed off the sheets ready for use by me, her and our colleagues - (she did make it seem like she sent the email as guidance but why send it to everyone in our department.. rather than just people involved in the project, if not to show off?!)
The other day, there came time to prepare more of the sheets. She was busy with another task so I looked at previous examples (since I don't have the privilege of boss' guidance like she does) and created the next few sheets and put them in the folder. 15 mins later, I was busy in the lab, she walks past me, whilst forcefully stabbing the corner of an tray right into the middle of my spine, painfully JUST for contributing to a task that wasn't even allocated to her. I knew she did it on purpose as she didn't say sorry and walked past stony faced (usually she is very smiley) (she seemed so angry to physically assault me for simply doing a job task - she doesn't own the task! but I guess she was annoyed that she couldn't say she created ALL the sheets for the project..
I've noticed in the past also, if we are doing a physical sorting task and I happen to be going faster than her, she'd keep nudging/bumping/brushing past me to distract me so I'd slow down and not finish before her.. 😢
I don't know what to do - it seems so unfair that she's hindering my progress at work just because of her jelousy and the fact she thinks I'm not entitled to be at the same position/salary as her as I'm a lot younger than her (which is totally unfair as I worked hard to get to where I am).
She is also very overly confident (probably due to her leo moon) and thinks she's the most amazing, talented person in the world and gets frequently annoyed if people don't understand what she means (due to her struggle with English but she thinks it's the other person being stupid).
Otherwise, I would not mind as it would be a fair battle but it really isn't as she holds the affections of our boss (due to their shared nationality, boss treats her almost like she is her daughter) so if virgo girl says anything about this, I'm sure it would be me punished with fewer career opportunities or even worse, termination.
Also, virgo girl is about 6 months pregnant and due to go on maternity leave in about 2 months - which is why she's being extra fire-y and competitive and is already talking about being back at work as soon as possible after the birth despite it being her first, very much longed for child. Hard to believe someone could be so awful as to physically assault someone when they are pregnant for barely any reason at all..
What's the best way to deal with this all?? 😢
It's all in your head. Stop wasting your energy on work place paranoia and focus on the quality of your work. That's all that matters at the end of the day.
Out of curiosity, is she Filipina and do you work in a hospital?
Do you take initiation by asking for more responsibilities and training? Or are you passive aggressively simmering in a corner waiting for assignments to be handed to you? Quit acting entitled.
You're reaching for a managerial position, demonstrate it. You are allowing her to take charge by not speaking out.
There are certain actions I don't agree with, but I'm judging off hearsay.
You're reaching for a managerial position, demonstrate it. You are allowing her to take charge by not speaking out.
There are certain actions I don't agree with, but I'm judging off hearsay.
Russian?
Posted by DivaCanLeoPosted by JohnTheBaptist100Lol I read first paragraph and stopped then skimmed through the rest
You may think you have good "management" skills but "summary" is not your strong point.
I commend you on your good command of the English language considering it is not your native tongue but there is one thing I have to say to you:
TOO LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGclick to expand
I read "lol" and and just continued scrolling down
Posted by DivaCanLeoPosted by JohnTheBaptist100Lol I read first paragraph and stopped then skimmed through the rest
You may think you have good "management" skills but "summary" is not your strong point.
I commend you on your good command of the English language considering it is not your native tongue but there is one thing I have to say to you:
TOO LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGclick to expand
I read "lol" and and just continued scrolling down
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I work in a lab based job (I am a Taurus Sun, Aquarius moon), female, early 20's in age.
She is a Virgo Sun Leo Moon, female, in her 40's.
She is not too good with English as she only moved to the country about 2 years ago and often asks for help, etc. whereas, I can speak and write English to native ability.
We were both hired for the same position at the exact same time. She had met with our boss before applying (boss is from the same country she is but boss' English is a lot better as she's been here longer, is more qualified etc.).
Often times, I've noticed my Virgo colleague being very competitive. Despite her English not being the best (most people struggle to understand her and I've often helped her with English when she's asked), she often uses charm and friendliness to gain popularity with everyone and is very smiley and polite. However, if she thinks I'm performing better than her, she'll almost throw a tantrum within herself and get very irritated (whilst still acting all smiley). She also envies me for having the same job title as her, despite being almost half her age even though we are very similarly qualified and I have enough relevant experience to do the job tasks properly.
She always talks to our boss in her own language and has often tried to gain manager-level responsibilities. Even though the boss is nice to me also, it is so obvious that she prefers the virgo girl as the boss is one of those people who favour her nationality people (out of the 200 or so people who work there, there are 4 people of her nationality and our boss only talks those 4 people for extended periods.. with everyone else, it's just 1-2 small talk). Sometimes, our boss has allowed the virgo girl to go for certain training but not me - without being able to give me a proper reason for why I wasn't included. It always seemed our boss almost subconsciously fears that if I progress higher than the virgo girl, it's almost an insult to their nationality (!?) which makes things difficult for me. If the virgo girl was the same nationality of e.g. a fellow colleague, it wouldn't be so bad. When it's our boss, it makes things difficult in my career progression..
but anyway, I notice her trying to take managerial responsibilities on a project "X" (maybe she's being promised a promotion if she can demonstrate manager level skill?) and it's very easy for her as she gets direct guidance on what to do step by step from the boss in her own language. I don't see why I shouldn't also be allowed to contribute equally to project X, since we both worked on it about a year ago (it was put on pause before being resumed again). At that time, we were both new starters at the job so we just did the labour work and all the admin/data management/recording was done by a more senior girl. Now, the senior girl has left so virgo girl thinks she should take this responsibility (I think we should both share it as we are both equal - she reluctantly agreed to it..but:
The job includes about 5 various tasks. She has told other collegues, including me, doing the labour work to hand in the sheets when completed to her for her to "sign it off, make final edits etc." (1 of 5 tasks) as if she's a manager. I said I could gladly edit and sign off my own sheets.. she wasn't happy about this but she agreed as she couldn't exactly say no but all our colleagues hand in the sheets to her as they either started before/after us and/or work in different work areas so are not too bothered in competing. Even then, she signs off her name below mine on my sheets saying she made further changes/edits (when she had not) just so she can say she signed off all sheets, presumably..
Task 2 is periodically printing out new datasheets for a lab process. She's done quite a few of them (with guidance from our boss in her own language) and sent out a big email to the entire team basically boasting about having printed off the sheets ready for use by me, her and our colleagues - (she did make it seem like she sent the email as guidance but why send it to everyone in our department.. rather than just people involved in the project, if not to show off?!)
The other day, there came time to prepare more of the sheets. She was busy with another task so I looked at previous examples (since I don't have the privilege of boss' guidance like she does) and created the next few sheets and put them in the folder. 15 mins later, I was busy in the lab, she walks past me, whilst forcefully stabbing the corner of an tray right into the middle of my spine, painfully JUST for contributing to a task that wasn't even allocated to her. I knew she did it on purpose as she didn't say sorry and walked past stony faced (usually she is very smiley) (she seemed so angry to physically assault me for simply doing a job task - she doesn't own the task! but I guess she was annoyed that she couldn't say she created ALL the sheets for the project..
I've noticed in the past also, if we are doing a physical sorting task and I happen to be going faster than her, she'd keep nudging/bumping/brushing past me to distract me so I'd slow down and not finish before her.. 😢
I don't know what to do - it seems so unfair that she's hindering my progress at work just because of her jelousy and the fact she thinks I'm not entitled to be at the same position/salary as her as I'm a lot younger than her (which is totally unfair as I worked hard to get to where I am).
She is also very overly confident (probably due to her leo moon) and thinks she's the most amazing, talented person in the world and gets frequently annoyed if people don't understand what she means (due to her struggle with English but she thinks it's the other person being stupid).
Otherwise, I would not mind as it would be a fair battle but it really isn't as she holds the affections of our boss (due to their shared nationality, boss treats her almost like she is her daughter) so if virgo girl says anything about this, I'm sure it would be me punished with fewer career opportunities or even worse, termination.
Also, virgo girl is about 6 months pregnant and due to go on maternity leave in about 2 months - which is why she's being extra fire-y and competitive and is already talking about being back at work as soon as possible after the birth despite it being her first, very much longed for child. Hard to believe someone could be so awful as to physically assault someone when they are pregnant for barely any reason at all..
What's the best way to deal with this all?? 😢