Stryker77
@Stryker77
11 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 170 · Topics: 16
Letting go of ex
Posted by Stryker77
Hello fellow Virgo's im Sept 8. I was with a Sag Nov 25, Long story short, we have 3 kids (2 are step kids) been together for 6 years but I hurt her badly by breaking her trust by doing something so regretful. It wasnt cheating but I took money from the family business to pay debts, worst thing I have ever done.
Anyway this was last sept and we tried again in Nov and split again in feb, since then she has been seeing men regurarly whereas I have been hoping we get together, Ive started seeing how desperate I look to her and this will not get her back, I'm trying to let go but its so hard, overall I do feel better about myself but I get moments of serious upset where I just want her back, and I end up texting her etc.
Never been so in to someone like this sag and I have unbelievable regret and remorse for what I did because it was the best relationship I have ever been in but the pressure I was under financially was insane and I kept a lot of this pressure from her so it was a shock to her I could do this.
Just wanted to hear from fellow Virgo's how you are in break ups, I find it so difficult to let go, I havent in the past with other relationships but this has blown my mind.
Love to hear your experiences.
For instance right now I want to text her, dont know what but text her, so I wrote on here instead! Ive been given great advice on the sag board about sag's love the chase, ignore her and make her miss you etc, but its so hard.
I have been analysing a lot over the last 9 months and I was very insecure about our relationship and this imploded, I was so worried about losing her I did the one thing that did lose her, I was under a lot of pressure and the way she reacted to conflict was something I avoided, through all of this though I have become a better, open and honest person, she may see this one day but I can't wait for that, I'm going to meet new people and bring out the new me.
Even tonight I popped round to my ex to pick up my laptop and she looked me up and down and smiled and said nice! I was in my gym gear. She likes to keep me there, not too far away.
Even tonight I popped round to my ex to pick up my laptop and she looked me up and down and smiled and said nice! I was in my gym gear. She likes to keep me there, not too far away.
@Stryker77...sorry to say, but more than likely this relationship is OVER!
I only say this from watching a really good friend go through the same thing. One thing I've noticed about SOME Sagg's is their a lot like Scorpio's and Libra's. We are very forgiving people, but when we have been stung to the core, there's is literally little to no room for compromise where relationships are concerned. Another thing I've noticed with Sagg is no matter how bad they want to retain a relationship, they can never get past the hurt and will make you pay for it for the rest of your life. Now, it doesn't negate the fact that they screw up royally as well, but if you beat them to the punch, then it's a wrap.
One of the differences I have seen with these three signs is Sagg's are very optimistic about relationships. Due to their personalities being so carefree and forgiving, they tend to want to at least try and make the relationship whole again even though in the back of their minds, they still harbor that bitter resentment of betrayal, whereas mostly with Libra's and Scorpios are very pessimistic in relationships. Once we choose you as our mate, we GIVE IT ALL WE GOT with no games involved, so once we're done, we pretty much don't and even think twice about looking back.
In my younger years when I broke a relationship off, I couldn't even be friends with the dude, but a year or two later if I ran into him, we could talk and laugh like old pals and become the best of friends, but the romance could never return.
I have no doubt she still loves you dearly, but the con's in this case, has probably outweighed the pro's and she just can't get past the pain. If you don't end it now, you will be just like my friend...She was on a 20 year emotional roller coaster where the inevitable did happen. The relationship actually ended 10 plus years prior to, but they just kept at it until it finally ended due to all of the pain they both put each other through with all the lies and cheating...just unnecessary drama and bullshyt to the point where they really begin to hate each other profusely. It's like they ended up seeing which one could hurt the other the worst. You guys have kids, so please for the sake of your children, do not drag them through your Game of Thrones....Just threw a little humor in, but I know this is truly a sad situation for your family.
I sincerely hope that you both can come to an amicable solution and still have love for each other in the end🙂
I only say this from watching a really good friend go through the same thing. One thing I've noticed about SOME Sagg's is their a lot like Scorpio's and Libra's. We are very forgiving people, but when we have been stung to the core, there's is literally little to no room for compromise where relationships are concerned. Another thing I've noticed with Sagg is no matter how bad they want to retain a relationship, they can never get past the hurt and will make you pay for it for the rest of your life. Now, it doesn't negate the fact that they screw up royally as well, but if you beat them to the punch, then it's a wrap.
One of the differences I have seen with these three signs is Sagg's are very optimistic about relationships. Due to their personalities being so carefree and forgiving, they tend to want to at least try and make the relationship whole again even though in the back of their minds, they still harbor that bitter resentment of betrayal, whereas mostly with Libra's and Scorpios are very pessimistic in relationships. Once we choose you as our mate, we GIVE IT ALL WE GOT with no games involved, so once we're done, we pretty much don't and even think twice about looking back.
In my younger years when I broke a relationship off, I couldn't even be friends with the dude, but a year or two later if I ran into him, we could talk and laugh like old pals and become the best of friends, but the romance could never return.
I have no doubt she still loves you dearly, but the con's in this case, has probably outweighed the pro's and she just can't get past the pain. If you don't end it now, you will be just like my friend...She was on a 20 year emotional roller coaster where the inevitable did happen. The relationship actually ended 10 plus years prior to, but they just kept at it until it finally ended due to all of the pain they both put each other through with all the lies and cheating...just unnecessary drama and bullshyt to the point where they really begin to hate each other profusely. It's like they ended up seeing which one could hurt the other the worst. You guys have kids, so please for the sake of your children, do not drag them through your Game of Thrones....Just threw a little humor in, but I know this is truly a sad situation for your family.
I sincerely hope that you both can come to an amicable solution and still have love for each other in the end🙂
"CONTINUED" @ STRYKER77....And the reason I threw the cheating in was because they originally fell out over a misunderstanding regarding bills, but once they broke up, then other relationships came about and that's what truly broke the relationship in half. After other people they begin to date got into the mix, then there was another entirely different issue to deal with..TRUST, and it became the main topic of their fights. They forgot all about the real reason they broke up in the first place, but after it was all said and done, they realized they could have worked through their first issue, but after it became toxic, there was no turning back.
I'm so sorry to hear this. But you should date other girls too. This would keep you busy and away from thoughts of contacting her. Who knows that when she sees you dating also, she will be intrigued again. It's a shot you haven't take so far, right? Take it and see where it takes you.
Posted by VirgoDragirl
I'm so sorry to hear this. But you should date other girls too. This would keep you busy and away from thoughts of contacting her. Who knows that when she sees you dating also, she will be intrigued again. It's a shot you haven't take so far, right? Take it and see where it takes you.
Posted by VirgoDragirl
I'm so sorry to hear this. But you should date other girls too. This would keep you busy and away from thoughts of contacting her. Who knows that when she sees you dating also, she will be intrigued again. It's a shot you haven't take so far, right? Take it and see where it takes you.
Posted by VirgoDragirl
I'm so sorry to hear this. But you should date other girls too. This would keep you busy and away from thoughts of contacting her. Who knows that when she sees you dating also, she will be intrigued again. It's a shot you haven't take so far, right? Take it and see where it takes you.
Yeah your right I haven't dated so far and I'm starting to, joined a new gym and there is a good social scene there, I know it will drive her crazy seeing something of hers with another woman, I wish I had done it earlier but my head wasn't in it.
Posted by LIb4Life
@Stryker77...sorry to say, but more than likely this relationship is OVER!
I only say this from watching a really good friend go through the same thing. One thing I've noticed about SOME Sagg's is their a lot like Scorpio's and Libra's. We are very forgiving people, but when we have been stung to the core, there's is literally little to no room for compromise where relationships are concerned. Another thing I've noticed with Sagg is no matter how bad they want to retain a relationship, they can never get past the hurt and will make you pay for it for the rest of your life. Now, it doesn't negate the fact that they screw up royally as well, but if you beat them to the punch, then it's a wrap.
One of the differences I have seen with these three signs is Sagg's are very optimistic about relationships. Due to their personalities being so carefree and forgiving, they tend to want to at least try and make the relationship whole again even though in the back of their minds, they still harbor that bitter resentment of betrayal, whereas mostly with Libra's and Scorpios are very pessimistic in relationships. Once we choose you as our mate, we GIVE IT ALL WE GOT with no games involved, so once we're done, we pretty much don't and even think twice about looking back.
In my younger years when I broke a relationship off, I couldn't even be friends with the dude, but a year or two later if I ran into him, we could talk and laugh like old pals and become the best of friends, but the romance could never return.
I have no doubt she still loves you dearly, but the con's in this case, has probably outweighed the pro's and she just can't get past the pain. If you don't end it now, you will be just like my friend...She was on a 20 year emotional roller coaster where the inevitable did happen. The relationship actually ended 10 plus years prior to, but they just kept at it until it finally ended due to all of the pain they both put each other through with all the lies and cheating...just unnecessary drama and bullshyt to the point where they really begin to hate each other profusely. It's like they ended up seeing which one could hurt the other the worst. You guys have kids, so please for the sake of your children, do not drag them through your Game of Thrones....Just threw a little humor in, but I know this is truly a sad situation for your family.
I sincerely hope t
okay well the first thing you could maybe do is STOP idolizing everything in your head, her and the relationship you had with her. i think that's what virgos tend to do often and it makes it difficult for them to move on. we somehow get it in our heads that someone craps out gold.. that the relationship was the most amazing thing and nothing could ever come close to it... when sometimes in reality this definitely isn't the case, obvious to everyone around you except you. this is pretty evident in your past how much you idealize the sag.
another thing is perhaps the guilt of what you did is intermingled with all this. meaning.. maybe you feel that you'd be absolved of feelings of guilt if only the sag would forgive you and get back with you. maybe you don't realize this consciously... but it seems pretty evident from your postings that these two go hand in hand. but maybe what you don't realize is perhaps the sag or the relationship between you two had already begun its distancing... this betrayal was merely the little splint that separated everything completely. personally if something like this happened, of course it is hurtful but i can work it through with them... it's cheating and being with other people that is more difficult to overcome.
i definitely have difficulty getting over people or relationships once it's over. i realize i usually idealize things/people a lot.. we get lost in our dreams/fantasies. it helps to be realistic... HOW you go about finding reality is up to you.. but for me i usually do something artsy. gets my mind on track.
another thing is perhaps the guilt of what you did is intermingled with all this. meaning.. maybe you feel that you'd be absolved of feelings of guilt if only the sag would forgive you and get back with you. maybe you don't realize this consciously... but it seems pretty evident from your postings that these two go hand in hand. but maybe what you don't realize is perhaps the sag or the relationship between you two had already begun its distancing... this betrayal was merely the little splint that separated everything completely. personally if something like this happened, of course it is hurtful but i can work it through with them... it's cheating and being with other people that is more difficult to overcome.
i definitely have difficulty getting over people or relationships once it's over. i realize i usually idealize things/people a lot.. we get lost in our dreams/fantasies. it helps to be realistic... HOW you go about finding reality is up to you.. but for me i usually do something artsy. gets my mind on track.
Posted by scorchedearth
dating someone to make someone else jealous can very easily backfire. so date because you want to move on not because you want a reaction out of her. it would be incredibly fucked up of you to get another woman attached to you when you're just trying to force someone elses hand.
make sure you are extremely clear with the other girls that you are wanting something casual. don't be that douchebag guy that leads some girl on to try to make your ex jealous.
i feel like what i'm saying should be obvious but i've read your other threads and there's no way you should be dating anyone right now because your head is still shoved up your exes ass. but if you're going to date don't be an asshat about it.
Hi Yeah I know, I went on 2 dates and told them both the situation I was in, Its actually liberating being upfront from the start and everyone knows where we stand, I'm no way ready to get involved romantically with anyone.
Posted by bloodflood
okay well the first thing you could maybe do is STOP idolizing everything in your head, her and the relationship you had with her. i think that's what virgos tend to do often and it makes it difficult for them to move on. we somehow get it in our heads that someone craps out gold.. that the relationship was the most amazing thing and nothing could ever come close to it... when sometimes in reality this definitely isn't the case, obvious to everyone around you except you. this is pretty evident in your past how much you idealize the sag.
another thing is perhaps the guilt of what you did is intermingled with all this. meaning.. maybe you feel that you'd be absolved of feelings of guilt if only the sag would forgive you and get back with you. maybe you don't realize this consciously... but it seems pretty evident from your postings that these two go hand in hand. but maybe what you don't realize is perhaps the sag or the relationship between you two had already begun its distancing... this betrayal was merely the little splint that separated everything completely. personally if something like this happened, of course it is hurtful but i can work it through with them... it's cheating and being with other people that is more difficult to overcome.
i definitely have difficulty getting over people or relationships once it's over. i realize i usually idealize things/people a lot.. we get lost in our dreams/fantasies. it helps to be realistic... HOW you go about finding reality is up to you.. but for me i usually do something artsy. gets my mind on track.
Hey thanks for your time to reply, Yes I completely Idolised her and still do, I was never an equal because of this, not her fault but mine. I'm starting in this new gym and getting my mind off it and meeting new people, I hope I do get over her but I have this deep nagging feeling its not quite over with us, maybe its my cup half full outlook but my instincts are telling me not to go too far away, she has a way of dealing with ex's and I was with her when she was dealing with her ex of 10 yrs and were a 100 times closer than that scenario, she saw me this morning and we were chatting like buddies. I guess that doesnt help my idolising!!!
Posted by Stryker77
Hi Yeah I know, I went on 2 dates and told them both the situation I was in, Its actually liberating being upfront from the start and everyone knows where we stand, I'm no way ready to get involved romantically with anyone.
You are one of those rare virgo assholes or another troll. I'm gonna go with the latter. Stay off the Scorpio board jackass...AND Scorpio women. You aren't good enough for one.
I think I remember your story. You were still there for the kids nmw...and trying to move on. Didn't you say she was dating someone else? She does sound like she toys with you and that's not cool.
Posted by LetltBPosted by Stryker77
Hi Yeah I know, I went on 2 dates and told them both the situation I was in, Its actually liberating being upfront from the start and everyone knows where we stand, I'm no way ready to get involved romantically with anyone.
You are one of those rare virgo assholes or another troll. I'm gonna go with the latter. Stay off the Scorpio board jackass...AND Scorpio women. You aren't good enough for one.click to expand
LMAO!
+Cosign.... 😉
Premise 1: Not looking to get involved romantically with anyone....but he's out on a date.
Premise 2: He's inquiring about the astrological compatibility of a woman he isn't romantically interested in.
Conclusion: The OP is on the prowl for some convenient piece of @ss, and cleverly makes it appear as if his actions are candid and admirable.
OP-
Here is some advice. Speak nothing about your ex on these pseudo first dates, and make your sexual intentions very clear. No strings attached. Some women are a lot more liberated than you think.
Not a fellow Virgo, but I AM a fellow Nov 25 Sag woman! I have two questions for you, a) Do you want her back? And b) Do you want to get over her?
If your answer is A):
A bit of advice...Talk to her face to face and tell her that you KNOW you F@cked up and sincerely apologize to her looking into her eyes. Then be willing to gain her trust back. I know this may seem hypocritical but Sagittarius's value honesty the most in a relationship. Your biggest enemy is "TIME". The longer she has to get over things, the lower your chances will be. Yeah, she's dating, to get her mind off of YOU! I wouldn't take any of that seriously, they are just kill timers.
If your answer is B):
Then you have my sympathy. You two have a child together and it's gonna take a while for you to get over her. Each time you see your child, you'll see her. My advice, focus on making yourself a better Man. Work out, read up on Healthy Relationships (their's tons of info on the net), find a NEW hobby, and start falling in Love with YOU!!! Hell, that's enough to get her back right there! LOL (insert that part in section A) Women can smell a confident man a mile away.
If your answer is A):
A bit of advice...Talk to her face to face and tell her that you KNOW you F@cked up and sincerely apologize to her looking into her eyes. Then be willing to gain her trust back. I know this may seem hypocritical but Sagittarius's value honesty the most in a relationship. Your biggest enemy is "TIME". The longer she has to get over things, the lower your chances will be. Yeah, she's dating, to get her mind off of YOU! I wouldn't take any of that seriously, they are just kill timers.
If your answer is B):
Then you have my sympathy. You two have a child together and it's gonna take a while for you to get over her. Each time you see your child, you'll see her. My advice, focus on making yourself a better Man. Work out, read up on Healthy Relationships (their's tons of info on the net), find a NEW hobby, and start falling in Love with YOU!!! Hell, that's enough to get her back right there! LOL (insert that part in section A) Women can smell a confident man a mile away.
Posted by Sagtastic2
Not a fellow Virgo, but I AM a fellow Nov 25 Sag woman! I have two questions for you, a) Do you want her back? And b) Do you want to get over her?
If your answer is A):
A bit of advice...Talk to her face to face and tell her that you KNOW you F@cked up and sincerely apologize to her looking into her eyes. Then be willing to gain her trust back. I know this may seem hypocritical but Sagittarius's value honesty the most in a relationship. Your biggest enemy is "TIME". The longer she has to get over things, the lower your chances will be. Yeah, she's dating, to get her mind off of YOU! I wouldn't take any of that seriously, they are just kill timers.
If your answer is B):
Then you have my sympathy. You two have a child together and it's gonna take a while for you to get over her. Each time you see your child, you'll see her. My advice, focus on making yourself a better Man. Work out, read up on Healthy Relationships (their's tons of info on the net), find a NEW hobby, and start falling in Love with YOU!!! Hell, that's enough to get her back right there! LOL (insert that part in section A) Women can smell a confident man a mile away.
Hey that is great advice, If I follow B) surely A)will happen?
I have joined a new gym and she found out about it and asked me why I joined etc, she keeps super fit so she was intrigued and also a little envious I think? (its a good gym but expensive) for the first time in months I was happy go lucky guy, no anxiety, no depression!! She was ill so she felt a bit sorry for herself.
Yes ok she is dating this guy and she seems to be 100mph in her own unique way with him but she knows it wont go further, she has 3 kids, he is 25 and will probably want kids when he is older, she doesnt want anymore kids etc its just not convenient.
I feel more confident, I feel powered if that makes sense? She looked me up and down the other day and smiled and said nice! I was in my gym gear, it felt good that she was complementing not me being the drip I have been.
The main thing here which gives me most hope is the kids have not been told about us splitting, she wants to carry on the pretence, to me that says a lot that she wants to get over what I did and then see where she is in the future, clearly I cant hang around waiting for her but I will spend time on myself and like you say Loving myself. confidence
Posted by Sagtastic2
Not a fellow Virgo, but I AM a fellow Nov 25 Sag woman! I have two questions for you, a) Do you want her back? And b) Do you want to get over her?
If your answer is A):
A bit of advice...Talk to her face to face and tell her that you KNOW you F@cked up and sincerely apologize to her looking into her eyes. Then be willing to gain her trust back. I know this may seem hypocritical but Sagittarius's value honesty the most in a relationship. Your biggest enemy is "TIME". The longer she has to get over things, the lower your chances will be. Yeah, she's dating, to get her mind off of YOU! I wouldn't take any of that seriously, they are just kill timers.
If your answer is B):
Then you have my sympathy. You two have a child together and it's gonna take a while for you to get over her. Each time you see your child, you'll see her. My advice, focus on making yourself a better Man. Work out, read up on Healthy Relationships (their's tons of info on the net), find a NEW hobby, and start falling in Love with YOU!!! Hell, that's enough to get her back right there! LOL (insert that part in section A) Women can smell a confident man a mile away.
Hey that is great advice, If I follow B) surely A)will happen?
I have joined a new gym and she found out about it and asked me why I joined etc, she keeps super fit so she was intrigued and also a little envious I think? (its a good gym but expensive) for the first time in months I was happy go lucky guy, no anxiety, no depression!! She was ill so she felt a bit sorry for herself.
Yes ok she is dating this guy and she seems to be 100mph in her own unique way with him but she knows it wont go further, she has 3 kids, he is 25 and will probably want kids when he is older, she doesnt want anymore kids etc its just not convenient.
I feel more confident, I feel powered if that makes sense? She looked me up and down the other day and smiled and said nice! I was in my gym gear, it felt good that she was complementing not me being the drip I have been.
The main thing here which gives me most hope is the kids have not been told about us splitting, she wants to carry on the pretence, to me that says a lot that she wants to get over what I did and then see where she is in the future, clearly I cant hang around waiting for her but I will spend time on myself and like you say Loving myself. confidence
is what attracted her in the first place, comparing the split from her husband to now its different, she wants me around, she wants to talk to me, she wonders what i'm doing even though she swears she doesnt want to know but she knows things like my gym through someone.
I will always hold a place in my heart for her and if she is ready to try again then I will see where we both are. Ive done something horrible to her trust but she sees a change in me for the better, I have apologised to her face many times and told her i'm a different guy and she always says "I hope so" she also says "i'm not ready to date you yet" basically its got to be right for her and I cant push it anymore, it pushes her away.
When she split form her husband he was cut off out of her life, no talking, no visits to the house, no friendship yet with me, we talk, I visit the house, she asks me to come round, were friends despite the arguing!!
I have to take confidence in that
I will always hold a place in my heart for her and if she is ready to try again then I will see where we both are. Ive done something horrible to her trust but she sees a change in me for the better, I have apologised to her face many times and told her i'm a different guy and she always says "I hope so" she also says "i'm not ready to date you yet" basically its got to be right for her and I cant push it anymore, it pushes her away.
When she split form her husband he was cut off out of her life, no talking, no visits to the house, no friendship yet with me, we talk, I visit the house, she asks me to come round, were friends despite the arguing!!
I have to take confidence in that
Posted by Stryker77
Yes ok she is dating this guy and she seems to be 100mph in her own unique way with him but she knows it wont go further, she has 3 kids, he is 25 and will probably want kids when he is older, she doesnt want anymore kids etc its just not convenient.
Well, maybe you should be in her life so you can take care of those three kids while she goes 100mph over men instead of taking care of the kids. Clearly her priorities are fucked up. You are perfect for her...and yes, very convenient.
It doesn't appear to me as though you are sincere.
YOu say that you've apologized, but, that's pretty much all you have to say about the concern you have about your actions. All the rest of the talk you have here, which is a lot, is focused around her getting over it, so that YOU gain something.
Everything here seems to be all about you, and what you want/get. I read your other threads and I don't see where you've talked about any effort you've put into repairing the damage. You only talk about how you want her to get over it, and come back to you. I don't see any work here to fix this in anything you say.
You are very "me" focused.
That makes you untrustworthy ... considering that you present yourself as showing no accountability in the duty of repairing this relationship.
To say, "sorry" doesn't cut it ... if everything else you say is all about you.
Since you are this self-absorbed ... you likely won't even get or believe what I'm saying, because my points addresses what your ego ignores. So, it's probably too painful to acknowledge.
If it had been me, and you hide things from me ... you wouldn't even exist.
Posted by P-Angel
It doesn't appear to me as though you are sincere.
YOu say that you've apologized, but, that's pretty much all you have to say about the concern you have about your actions. All the rest of the talk you have here, which is a lot, is focused around her getting over it, so that YOU gain something.
Everything here seems to be all about you, and what you want/get. I read your other threads and I don't see where you've talked about any effort you've put into repairing the damage. You only talk about how you want her to get over it, and come back to you. I don't see any work here to fix this in anything you say.
You are very "me" focused.
That makes you untrustworthy ... considering that you present yourself as showing no accountability in the duty of repairing this relationship.
To say, "sorry" doesn't cut it ... if everything else you say is all about you.
Since you are this self-absorbed ... you likely won't even get or believe what I'm saying, because my points addresses what your ego ignores. So, it's probably too painful to acknowledge.
If it had been me, and you hide things from me ... you wouldn't even exist.
Ok thats fair enough, I suppose I havent made it clear what I have done to make the necessary changes, I have had behaviour therapy since the incident to ascertain why and what made me sink to that low, this has helped me greatly, I was self employed at the time of the incident and had been for the 6 years we were together which was always a subject of discontent by my sag so I have got myself a good employed job which pays well and has given stability, something I couldnt offer on a regular basis to my sag.
I went bankrupt, something yet again my sag always said I should have done because my debts were so big.
I'm open and honest with her, to a level that she is with everyone, before I would worry about the reaction from her but now I just spit it out, she appreciates this.
I know all of this is probably too late but i'm determined to prove everyone wrong, I'm devoted to the kids and her and that's never been an issue.
The money I pay back to her mother on a monthly basis and that is nearly over too.
I went to see her mother and spoke to her and apologised for my actions and she has forgiven me and she is supportive of us getting back together.
If I look back to this time last year, Then yes I
Posted by LetltBPosted by Stryker77
Yes ok she is dating this guy and she seems to be 100mph in her own unique way with him but she knows it wont go further, she has 3 kids, he is 25 and will probably want kids when he is older, she doesnt want anymore kids etc its just not convenient.
Well, maybe you should be in her life so you can take care of those three kids while she goes 100mph over men instead of taking care of the kids. Clearly her priorities are fucked up. You are perfect for her...and yes, very convenient.click to expand
I know i'm convenient and she knows I'm on hand for her, well I was until last week, I have scaled back the convenience of me to a minimum and kept myself busy. I love the kids and try to see them outside of the home as much as I can, take them out for food etc. Its difficult when the kids still dont know.
Posted by Stryker77
Ok thats fair enough, I suppose I havent made it clear what I have done to make the necessary changes, I have had behaviour therapy since the incident to ascertain why and what made me sink to that low, this has helped me greatly, I was self employed at the time of the incident and had been for the 6 years we were together which was always a subject of discontent by my sag so I have got myself a good employed job which pays well and has given stability, something I couldnt offer on a regular basis to my sag.
I went bankrupt, something yet again my sag always said I should have done because my debts were so big.
I'm open and honest with her, to a level that she is with everyone, before I would worry about the reaction from her but now I just spit it out, she appreciates this.
I know all of this is probably too late but i'm determined to prove everyone wrong, I'm devoted to the kids and her and that's never been an issue.
The money I pay back to her mother on a monthly basis and that is nearly over too.
I went to see her mother and spoke to her and apologised for my actions and she has forgiven me and she is supportive of us getting back together.
All of that is still just you, you, you .. you want, you did, you, you, you
It doesn't fucking matter that you go to her mother to get forgiveness.
forgiveness doesn't mean anything, when it's only in place for you to feel better.
she is the one who felt fucked over ... alls I see of you in here is just moves you're making to try and (appear) differently, but, it's all for you to feel better so there's no genuine sincerity in there for the sake of her.
It's all for the sake of you ... so that YOU get something you want.
You don't see that, do you?
I don't see anything in here from you which even remotely resembles that your concern is her. Everything you say, sounds like your concern is what you get.
back to re-read the OP, I come to the same conclusion ... you are all about you. There doesn't appear to be any desire to make her feel better. You just want you to feel better.
And that's really fucking selfish. But, I know, you're a Virgo, so emotionally nurturing her wouldn't even cross your mind as being what you're supposed to do, how you're supposed to feel towards her well being.
Posted by Stryker77
.... I hurt her badly by breaking her trust ....
I have been hoping we get together
Ive started seeing how desperate I look to her and this will not get her back
I'm trying to let go but its so hard
I do feel better about myself but I get moments of serious upset where I just want her back
Never been so in to someone like this sag
You hurt her really bad ... then carry-on about your emotional woes.
You're the one who hurt her ... how are you justifying in not going to her emotional rescue? It's your fuck up, not hers ... why wasn't she included in your thoughts above?
Posted by Stryker77
I have unbelievable regret and remorse for what I did because it was the best relationship I have ever been in but the pressure
I don't see any regret and/or remorse here for betraying your woman ..... there's no mention of her when you talk about regret and remorse. You only acknowledge yourself.
Posted by Stryker77
I was under financially was insane and I kept a lot of this pressure from her so it was a shock to her I could do this.
click to expand
wtf?
So, let me get this straight ..... you kept in the dark on important fucking issues. So important that it literally fucked her, but, you've twisted it in your mind, to justify to yourself that it's ok to do this ... because you're her gallant knight, who only does it to protect her.
When the reality is .... YOU are the self absorbed sociopath that she needs protection from.
But, woe ..... poor you
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