Letting go of my virgo?

Hi everyone!

So I've been dating this virgo for 4 months now and I just don't know how much longer I can be patient with him. The first two months he initiated almost everything, was super sweet and just everything you would want. We often had intellectual conversations which he loved since he mentioned he wasn't able to have that with his friends etc. After 2 months he said that I was the first girl since his ex that he actually liked which scared him so he asked me to be patient with him. So during the following month we kept in touch everyday but we would only hang out once a week which was fine with me. But after we hung out the last time he became a little off and messaged me and apologized for being distant and for "not that being easy to be around at the moment" but that he couldn't help it. He also mentioned being under a lot of pressure at work.

After that I left him alone for a week and messaged him because I was going abroad and wanted him to know that, he was happy to hear from me and said that we would hang out when I got back. We spoke a little while I was away since he asked me to send pictures. But now I'm back and he is more distant than ever. He said that he thought that he could hang out 2 days after I got back but the same day he just wrote that stuff had come up and that he couldn't make it. That was 2 days ago.

Should I just let him go now?

I know it sounds confusing but it becomes simple if you evaluate sections such seem to indicate that he is not initiating or showing any interest despite saying the opposite as I n he wanted to hang out.

I am dating a Virgo for 3 mons and I try to focus on his actions because his words don't really say much on a romantic level but he shows me through actions how meaningful being together is for him. Hope this helps

Sorry meant to say "evaluate actions which seem to indicate "

Once the infatuation passes .. it's natural for people to drift away.

you do it, he does it, we all do it ..... because often attraction isn't real care for you, rather, trying to keep chasing the feeling of infatuation.

So, be smart and realize the difference.

the moment is over, so be a grown up and step aside to let the moment pass

Yeah I guess you're both right! I think I've held on to him because he told me that he would always be honest and let me know if he didn't want to hang out anymore since guys have disappeared on me before which he knows about.

But I guess he didn't have the courage to do so which is hard to accept 😢

You said guys, as in plural .... that makes you the common denominator.

Your best bet is to do a self check to find out why you are putting the guy(s) off, and why the guy(s) don't care about being honest with you.

There is something about you that is telling them to treat you that way ... since people interact off of each other.

Let me clarify, most of them have told me the truth but it has been from one day to another. I think I'm scared of loosing myself while dating so I'm very low key. With this virgo for example, he could be very emotional at times and tell me how much he liked me but I rarely told him anything because of fear and wanting to keep my guard up, especially since he said that he was afraid of getting hurt so I kept my distance at times. So that may have backfired…

Posted by capgirl94

I just don't know how much longer I can be patient with him.

that quote ^^ is part of the first sentence in the Opening Post, and it is implying that the Virgo is screwing up to the point where you can barely stand it a moment longer.

when in reality, here is the REAL truth .....

Posted by capgirl94

I rarely told him anything because of fear and wanting to keep my guard up ...

click to expand

It's not him at all. It's always been you, because you allowed him to come to you, to court you, to initiate with you, to give you time and attention ... all the while, you were leading him on because you never gave back to him honestly and truly ... since you state that you kept your guard up and rarely shared with him what you took from him.

He gave .. you took.

and now you're in here implying that he's fouled you so bad that you can no longer be patient with him. And what does that mean, anyway. so, what happens if you run out of patience?

do you flip out on him? if you run out of patience, on virtually ANY topic/subject that's on you. The way you worded the first sentence, you are basically saying that it's up to him to adjust himself, so heaven forbid that you have to deal with yourself.

You seem very self absorbed here and quite selfish. You admit that he came at you and did all the effort in trying to develop a relation with you .... but, you refused to reciprocate, out of an insecurity that has absolutely nothing to do with him because he's not the one who hurt you.

But, you take it out on him, don't you? You have here in just saying this.

this is more than just letting him go ... you need to look inside of you and sort this out with yourself, or you're just going to end up stepping in the same pile of shit, over and again.

I understand your point of view but with this one I had reasons to keep my guard up. While he did initiate a lot of times he said in the very beginning that he was hesitant to commit because of the responsibility but was willing to try. That made me not initiate as much. But the past two months it was only me, he would always answer and wanted to hang out when I asked him, until now when he just stopped without even telling me why.

And about patience, he has several times asked me to be patient with him due to his commitment issues but since then he has grown only more and more distant, like the more space I give him the more he seems to drift away. And that's why my patience is wearing thin, I can wait for someone but there has to be results. So I have been giving, my time, my patience, my interest. Our communication was really good until recently when he just shut down which makes me want to let go.